We’ve all met that person at work. She has to read all the policies and procedures before any meeting, comes up with a lengthier report than everyone else’s, and is just way too…intense. Every deadline is life-or-death situation, and frankly, working with her feels like reporting to bootcamp duty for an extra set of push-ups every time…
Except when that person is you, and you display all the symptoms of Overachieving Syndrome at work, then it’s another story altogether…After all, it’s easy to get intense about work. We spend most of our time there, put on most of our weight there, and get most of our stress between our desks and the watercooler, or coffee machine, or candy jar for that matter…
I was that…ahem, person. The annoying woman with the 10-page report at the meeting. Yes, the one who gave everyone a headache with too many granular details, and way too many questions..right before lunch. And while it may have looked good to some, it was just not the right way to go about being productive, efficient or happy at work.
Piling on the intensity at work can only lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and an overwhelming desire to eat loads of Haagen Dasz sea salt caramel ice cream…In addition to keeping you from scoring that promotion…
So what’s one to do when you’re just too intense at work? For my legions of recovering corporate overachievers, here are a few tips I picked up along the way to dial down the intensity:
Focus on productivity, not perfection. Most overachievers are perfectionists, especially in the workplace. Which also means they tend to be under stronger pressure with deadline-driven projects, and ad hoc demands of all kinds. When things tend to get increasingly busy, productivity matters a whole lot more than perfection. So although you may want to dot all your I’s and make sure you picked your favorite font, producing that report in time for the team meeting is actually a lot more important.
Dial down on the people-pleasing obsession. Overachievers want to please everyone. The boss, the team, the colleagues, the family, the mailman. Just everyone. Which also happens to be a direct, one-way ticket to Pushover Land. While you may think you’re your boss’s go-to person, you may just actually have “worker bee” written all over your forehead. It may be high time to grow some backbone, learn to say “no” and ask for the help you need so you can focus on your duties. Not everyone else’s…
Strategize instead of just working hard. For the longest time, I thought hardwork was the solution to success at work. Along with long hours, and a solid dose of “face time”, right? Wrong…There’s a difference between overachievers and high-performers. The latter think strategically to position themselves and their companies to achieve victory. The overachievers focus on doing as much as possible. Instead of trying to shove as much work down your corporate brain as possible, think about strategizing and actually doing the work that allows you to get the fulfillment, advancement and balance you want.
Are you too intense at work? Or do you know someone who is? What other tips would you have for them?
To your success,
I’ve been wanting to talk about mindset and meditation at work for a while, but frankly, I wasn’t sure which angle to take on it without sounding all woo-woo and stuff…So at the risk of sounding all woo-woo and stuff, I’m just going to put it out there: one of the most powerful tools of career success is, wait for it, your mind! Yes, your mind. Not your hard work, not your extra face time at work, or your practically living at your desk 90% of the time.
With that, comes the potential to tap into its power through the practice of meditation and mindfulness…And before you click off back to Facebook to check on your frenemy’s last vacation to that spot in Bali you’ve been praying to visit, hear me out…
Before I started consciously (and consistently) meditate, I thought there would be no way in hell I could get my mind to be still. Especially not when it came to anything remotely work-related. And especially not at work. I mean, let’s just start with the inbox factor, with thousands of emails coming at you from every corner of the company, from the IT technician who messed up re-imaging your computer (so now your screen’s actually suggestively blinking at you), to the Director who wants that strategy report on his desk by 11am (really, 11am is pre-lunch time!!!).
Let’s keep it real. For the rest of us human corporate sisters running from endless meetings to kid pickups, not to mention the extra-fast occasional online shoe-shopping, our minds tend to be constantly in overdrive. When you’re not thinking about what to reply to your manager about that report you haven’t even started yet, you’re concocting a 10-minute (somewhat healthy) dinner in your head for tonight. Or you’re trying to remember if your daughter’s recital is this Sunday (or was last Sunday)…
In our busy, overbooked, overstretched lives, how often do we crave that breath of fresh air, that feeling of laying on the beach somewhere in the Cape-Verde islands, being caressed by the sun, in total, absolute peace? Until the kids start throwing sand at us and screaming they need to pee this very minute (and of course, there are no toilets nearby, in addition to the fact you just got to the best part of your novel…)
Adding meditation as a success practice in your career not only provides you with that much-needed break in your life and career. It also sets you up for great success at work, for the very reason that for the majority of people, work is one of the biggest sources of stress. As a result, our work performances, attitudes and outlook suffer from it. All in all, it ends up being a lose-lose situation.
So today, I encourage you to add meditation to your career as a major success factor. Even when you think you have no time for it. Even when you think this would be pushing the craziness factor even further than mismatching your socks underneath your suit (or quietly picturing that awful colleague at work with toilet paper sticking from their pantyhose, or some other scenario you’d never let slip out of your over-imaginative mind)….
Set some time on your calendar for it.; all you need is really about 10 to 15 minutes to sit in silence, quiet your mind, and breathe deeply. Find a quiet place where you can spend some time alone and quiet your mind. It doesn’t matter if you can book a room, or if you have to sit in a toilet stall for that time (true story).
However you choose to do it, just choose to cater to your mind’s health by practicing quiet time. And it may just be exactly what you need to do in one of the least quiet places and times of your life, at work.
Do you practice meditation as part of your career?
Boundaries at work – Photo credit: chattocherry.com
Setting boundaries at work is no easy feat, yet it’s necessary, especially in the workplace! Finding balance in your work and life involves establishing these boundaries in an effective way that allows us to get work done, yet still have a life!
Working late, taking on an extra load of work, covering for co-workers do happen, but they should be the exception and not the rule here. Unfortunately in today’s “intensive” workplace, it happens more often than not, and is most often the responsibility (and burden) of the employee to set a reasonable limit to.
I’ve been there, trying to impress my boss and team on a new job, or prove that I was as valuable as others by working late, taking on extra work, and all around biting on more than I could chew. If you’re there right now, here are a few valuable tips I was taught along the way:
1. YOU set the tone! Yes, it’s actually your responsibility to set the tone at work. Leave on time whenever possible, avoid the face time trap at work! There will be times when you’ll have to stay late or take on more work, certainly. In the meantime, start setting the tone around what you are willing to do, and what you are not!
2. Speak Up! Have a conversation with your boss about job expectations, and be honest! If you’d like to make it home for dinner, or your gym class, introduce the idea that these are important to you. Reassure your manager and team that your work will be done on time and during regular hours.
3. Re-evaluate your schedule regularly! Efficiency is key here! Every so often, take a look at your schedule and re-evaluate what you spend your time on. Many meetings are a pure waste of time, so start shaving some of the extra weight. If you’ve already proven yourself, you may want to clarify with your boss when assignments and projects are really due, so as to prioritize better.
If all your efforts at setting boundaries and prioritizing your work are falling on deaf ears, it may be time to start sending out your resume…
Should you pay your career dues – Photo: huffintonpost.com
Happy Veterans Day, and a big thank you to all who served for our freedom and safety! As we’re celebrating today those who paid theirs and our dues by serving, when it comes to our careers, should we still pay our dues? Should we still make heavy sacrifices, at times foregoing our families and friends, to get to the top of our professions? Or is this idea just antiquated, and as Penelope Truck put it, so old school? While many, especially in leadership positions today, still think it is important to pay one’s career dues, and serve and sacrifice before reaping the benefits of our work, our generation of Millenials doesn’t necessarily believe in carrying a whole lot of student debt to start at the bottom of the work food chain.
My first few weeks in Public Accounting were spent making photocopies in my crisp new Ann Taylor blouses and skirts. I came armed with my Masters degree, my hair slick and make-up immovable, prepared for big meetings, strategic sessions and instant promotions. What I found is I had to pay my dues, hanging out at the copy machine and catching the last train home after long nights at the office. Like many before me had to do. And although I don’t necessarily like the term “paying your dues”, truth is anything worth your time and effort will cost you time, energy and some level of sacrifice. The question is, how much are you willing to give to get to where you want to get?
Today’s generation of Millenials is literally stuck between a rock college and a hard place, as many no longer believe in the necessity of foregoing happiness and fulfillment in order to pay dues we’re not certain we owe in the first place. According to this Bentley University study, 70% of people from older generations perceive Millenials as not willing to pay their dues, while 55% of Millenials, while arguing to the contrary, admit their generation no longer believes in the necessity to pay dues. Is it a surprise then that such disconnect between generational perceptions creates such an employment vacuum in our society?
While I don’t agree with the now widespread opinion that paying our dues is actually bullshit (excuse my French), I also think the concept is due for an update (and maybe even an upgrade). Paying your dues is no longer about hanging out in the copy room, or even collecting the boss’ coat and Prada bag (hello Miranda Priestly)…
No, paying your dues in today’s workplace is about showing how motivated and resourceful you are. Whether it’s by using your side hustle to help your career, or by showing you have a plan for success at work, “serving” at work is less about face time at work than about proving yourself from the get-go. Paying our dues has become more about packing in the quality than laying out the quantity…
So, really, should you pay your career dues? And if so, how have you gone about serving your career?
Have you ever wondered how you can advance your career while being a woman, wife and/or mother, and not having to work 40+ hours every week? Have you ever considered cloning yourself so you could do all the things, everywhere at the same time? You’re certainly not the only one. As a working woman and mom, managing your career for growth and advancement, while dedicating the astronomical time society has made us believe is required for it, often seems to fall under the “mission impossible” category. Or at least under one that is far from being sustainable in the long term…
As a result, working women often feel powerless in the face of the many professional and personal challenges facing them as they move forward in our careers. This is only made worse by the plethora of gender biases they encounter in the workplace. What happens next, or even simultaneously, can sadly be summarized as ranks of working women stuck in lower levels of management (when they reach management at all), or exiting the professional stage altogether. This is also known as the “broken rung” , or the phenomenon of women being stuck between entry-level and management positions, which McKinsey’s 2023 Women in the Workplace report identifies as the most significant hurdle on women’s path to senior leadership.
Like so many other women, this is an all-too-common ordeal I wish I weren’t as familiar with. Through my various seasons of womanhood, from early career, motherhood, to mid-career and through my transition into academia, I’ve endlessly wondered how women can possibly build a sustainable career without sacrificing family, sanity and the rest of life.
Well, long after the seeds of this deeply personal yet undeniably collective question began sprouting in my early and mid-career mind, I stumbled upon a career awakening of sorts through the world of academia. While careers in academia are split between research, teaching and service, the true currency of advancement in the academic world is published research work. Which means despite all the various windows of opportunities, urgent and important work in the academic world, academics, and especially women academics, must prioritize their research work. This is even more important for women in the patriarchal academic system, who most often do not benefit from the same expanses of available time than their male counterparts due to personal, service and other responsibilities. Hence the need for women academics, like most other career women, to create the systems necessary for their survival and ultimately, their professional thriving.
It’s in this context that I stumbled upon one of my favorite podcasts entitled “Academic Writing Amplified” by Cathy Mazak, which focuses on helping women in the professorate write and publish more without succumbing to the false notion that they must work around the clock to do so. The advice in this podcast has inspired me to share these three steps to building a sustainable career as working women and moms across industries and fields of work:
Determine what moves the needle in your career
In careers that are more than ever fraught with demands of all kinds, from unending meetings to email apocalypses, seeing the forest from the trees can near mission impossible. Hence why so many of us have been conditioned to believe professional success requires ungodly schedules and unfathomable personal sacrifices. Yet, what if the real problem hid in the professional confusion that constant communication and nagging technology have created over the years?
This is where taking a step back and reflecting on what moves the needle in your career makes a difference. What are the areas of your career that are instrumental to your advancement and growth? What weighs the heaviest when it comes to your upcoming promotion? What has the most long-term impact on your career? Those are the areas where the bulk of your focus, time and energy should be directed. If you’re not clear on what these are, going back to your job description, last performance review, or having a check-in with your managers and peers may help.
Build your schedule around what moves the needle in your career
Identifying the area(s) that move the needle in your career is the first step to building a sustainable career. The next step is putting action behind this, by re-evaluating and re-building your schedule around those areas. When you look at your current schedule, where does the bulk of your time go? Do you spend most of your time on emails and meetings? Is most of your schedule revolving around areas that are not advancing important projects or helping you meet crucial goals?
Very often, when we make an inventory of how we spend our time at work, we unfortunately realize that we’re majoring in minors. Much of our time is often spent on urgent, yet not important activities. Do you want to be known for how fast you answer emails, or for the impactful goals you are achieving? I would bet the latter… If so, consider rebuilding your schedule to prioritize the projects, activities and goals that move your career forward.
Implement habits and systems that help you keep the main thing the main thing
Last but not least, building the systems and habits to prioritize the pivotal areas of your career is key. In her podcast entitled “Academic Writing Amplified” aimed at helping women in academia write research more, author and entrepreneur Cathy Mazak talks about identifying your “tiger time” or “soar time”. This is your most productive, less distracted time of day, that can allow you to tackle your most important work in the most effective way. What is your “tiger time” or “soar time”?
Once you can consistently identify and use your most productive time for your most impactful work, then you can relegate other less important activities to other parts of your day. Are you used to checking your email first thing in the morning, and letting it eat most of your time? Schedule a later time in the day to open your inbox and set a time limit for email-related activities. Are meetings overwhelming your schedule and preventing you from focusing on important projects? Consider blocking your calendar, saying “no” more often, and offering more suitable time alternatives.
All in all, building a more sustainable career as a working woman and mom comes down to an exercise in clarity and habit-building. From reflecting on what is truly impactful in your career, to building your schedule around pivotal activities at work, and finally implementing habits and systems to prioritize the latter, it’s a process. Yet, it is one that can make a world of difference between majoring in minors and endlessly sacrificing at the altar of career sainthood to no avail, and effectively saving time and energy to zoom in on what really matters.
