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5 Tips to Date as a Successful Professional Woman

Dating - Photo: huffingtonpost.com

Dating – Photo: huffingtonpost.com

Dating as a successful professional woman can be challenging. And when I say challenging, I mean, CHALLENGING! Between just having the time to date (not to mention prep time, finances and sheer willingness to interact with the other sex), and surmounting all the stereotypes and pre-conceived ideas about professional, ambitious women in their 30’s, anyone would be tempted to crawl on their couch with a good book or a glass of Pinot instead of hitting the dating scene on a Saturday night.

Let’s be honest. Dating is hard work. It’s like investing in volatile funds, or eating fat-free dessert, you put in the work, use up your make-up and heels, with no guarantee of any return. Plus you have to tread carefully, not to sound like you’re out-earning, out-manning or flat out emasculating your partner…And this is all after putting in a full day’s work, and then some…

1. Stop apologizing for your success! No need to work so hard at being liked or appreciated. You want a partner, not an approval stamp! While you may not need to brag, downplaying your achievements is also a no-go. Just be you!

2. Set the record straight! As a career woman, it’s tempting to paint a more or less traditional image of ourselves when dating. If your career is important to you, say so! If you are in a demanding field of work, set the record straight as well. If on the other hand, you are ready to kiss the corporate world good-bye, don’t mislead your date!

3. Use your power! Many a professionally successful and powerful women can close multi-million dolllar deals at work, yet cannot muster the courage to ask a date out. Use your power (in a good way) to attract the love you deserve!

4. Make room for love! Choices matter, and ours sometimes matter a lot more than we’d admit. More travel or less travel? More work or less work? Exclude or include certain types of partners? Make room in your life and work for potential partners, it may make the process less dreadful, and even a bit spicier…

5. Last but not least, don’t settle! As challenging as the dating scene may be for successful professional women, settling for less never made anyone happy. If your gut is warning you this person may not be for you, you may just have to listen!

Any dating tips you have for professional successful women?

The Corporate Sis.

The 411: Weekly News Update

RIP Stuart Scott - Photo: espn.com

RIP Stuart Scott – Photo: espn.com

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Happy first Sunday of 2015! I hope everyone is well, and starting this new year in great spirits! 2014 has definitely been a milestone year for me, and I can’t thank enough each and everyone of you for your continued support to The Corporate Sister! As we are stil toasting to a new year full of health, joy, success and prosperity, here are the news that rocked this brand new year:

  1. The sports community is mourning the loss of longtime ESPN actor Stuart Scott, here’s an ESPN video legacy of this incredible man, while The Root reminds us of the touching speech he gave when receiving the ESPY award. RIP!;
  2. The Cut made me smile as I read how Vogue got the most diverse covers this year;
  3. As New Year’s health resolutions are now all the rage, Harvard Business Review reveals that for leaders, looking healthy matters more than looking smart;
  4. As you’re getting ready to get into the swing of this New Year, Essence Magazine pinpoints 5 ways to put yourself first;
  5. For all the Millenials out there, the Daily Muse lists 4 ways to achieve work-life balance in 2015 (and it got me at tip#1);
  6. As we’re looking back on 2014, NPR has a wonderful list of the 50 wonderful things from last year;
  7. Are you a travel buff? The Daily Beast takes an interesting (and brutally honest) look into the New Black Travel Movement;
  8. One of my New Year’s resolutions decisions is to read more, even if I have to lock myself in the bathroom away from my kids’ threatening demands for snacks. Fast Company inspired me with this article about how busy people manage to make more time to read, as Mashable reports Marck Zuckerberg is also on the “reading more” bandwagon (check out his page “A Year of Books“);
  9. Daily Worth writes about the one piece of money advice you’ll need in 2015;
  10. Last but not least, I wrote this week about 3 new ways to start fresh to your old job.

Any news you’d like to add or discuss? Please leave us a comment…

Happy Sunday, and happy reading!

Minority Millenials At Work: What’s the Real Deal?

Photo: blackamericaweb.com

Photo: blackamericaweb.com

A lot has been said, speculated, and written about millenials at work. By 2025, millenials will make up as much as 75% of the workforce. By now, everyone knows we’re “divas” too spoiled for the corporate world, too entitled despite bing fabulously creative, and that while antiquated traditional management techniques are the least effective with us, meditation (yes, meditation) is one way to empower us at work and in life. And it just happens this millennial generation is the most racially diverse generation the U.S. has ever seen, with 43% of this media-obsessed, self-entitled, ‘diva-licious” group being composed of Latinos and Black.

We own #Black Twitter, ready to hashtag any cultural issues we deem critical at the moment. As Black millenials, we’re graduating in larger numbers than any generation before us, we’re no exactly into religion, and we are unapologetically queer. Hispanic millenials have been garnering a whole new political and cultural power unseen before in the U.S. So as much as we know we’re running this and re-shaping the mold of society. Yet at work and in life, what’s the real deal when it comes to minority millenials?

1. We are more committed to equality and fairness: Definitely, this is the era of equality. From gender equality, to breaking, heck no, smashing the glass ceiling, to marriage equality, we are all about fairness, everywhere, for everyone.Faced with the recent events of Ferguson and New York, Black millenials are emerging as the “Movement Generation”. Don’t mess with us!

2. Yet, we don’t really understand racism, at least not in the same way our parents did! Across the board, we oppose affirmative action.According to an MTV survey, while 90% of us want be treated on an equal foot, 88% are not for affirmative action. And less than half of minorities surveyed (46%) admit to being raised in a household where race was discussed. We don’t believe race is an obstacle to success, as proven by President Obama’s election.

3. We’re lacking in the STEM fields: African-americans received only 7% of STEM bachelor degrees in 2009. The advent of organizations like “Girls Who Code” is changing this for the better though.

4. We can teach you a thing or two at work: Reverse mentoring is in! We understand social media and emerging technologies better than most. And while we can certainly use career mentoring ourselves, we tend to gravitate more towards personal rather than formal connections.

5. We are hustlers: Poppa Pope was right when telling Olivia Pope “We have to work twice as hard as them” to make it. “Them” being non-minorities. No matter our level of education, we are hustlers, and we are dope at it. Like the Mia Loves, Gabrielle Turnquests, and so many others of our generations.

6. We are entrepreneurs at heart! Whether it’s because we’ve quickly realized we don’t fit in the traditional work mold, or because we want to create work that really matters, millenials tend to be born-entrepreneurs. 67% of millenials say their goal is to start their own business, according to a Bentley University survey. For minority millenials, this has translated in numerous “natural haircare” businesses and an ensuing natural hair revolution, as well as business innovations of many kinds.

7. Last but not least, we are humanists! 51% of Millenials surveyed admit to preferring speaking in person, over texting and phone calls. We like flexibility, and prize our independence, happiness and fulfillment. And as Black millenials, we’re not too fond of mainstream media which tends to under-represent us. We’re…what’s that word again, human…

As minority millenials, despite all the negative stereotyping around, we are at work in our society. In a different, more empowered, definitely less conventional, but we’re at work, and making a difference!

The Corporate Sis.

The 411: Weekly News Update

Believe signs t Macy's Herald Square in NY - Photo: fontsinuse.com

Believe signs t Macy’s Herald Square in NY – Photo: fontsinuse.com

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Happy Sunday! I hope everyone is having a wonderful week-end. Dear hubby, the kids and I came down to New York for the week-end to visit our in-laws and show the little ones all the City decorations. Seeing all the Christmas lights, ornaments, and feeling the contagious excitement of the City turned us all back into giggly, wonder-filled eyed children. New York is really magic, and as we’re getting ready to say good-bye, here’s a quick snap at the news that made this week:

  • The Root reports thousands of protesters walked in the “Justice for All” march in Washington DC on Saturday to protest the deaths of unarmed Black men at the hands of police, while Black Enterprise writes about congressional staffers walking out of their jobs on Thursday to show support against the injustice of the recent Grand Jury decisions around the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner. Here in New York, during our visit, we witnessed thousands marching to protest police violence, as reported by the New York Times. It’s time for change, good, positive change, people;
  • Speaking of Human Rights, last Wednesday, december 10th, was Human Rights Day: MAKERS shares with us this inspirational video about Malika Saada Saar’s organization’s work to make women’s lives easier;
  • As an “emotions” expert myself, I was oh so glad to read this Business Insider article confirming people who are good at recognizing emotions make more money;
  • For all the creatives out there, Fast Company provides tips as to what we need to do to preserve our work (great tips);
  • If you can’t skip the office holiday party this year, Stylecaster lists 10 things you should never do while grooving with your co-workers (please avoid #9);
  • Speaking of office holiday parties, Daily Worth is right on the money with these tips on how to get through work with a hangover (yes, it happens, people!);
  • Getting ready to start the New Year on an ambitious note? The Muse offers three tips to apply for the job when you don’t meet the requirements;
  • Dice advises you as to how to explain your technical skills to HR, while Youtern gives you 4 ways to stay motivated during the holiday job search;
  • This TribLive article just made me beam all the way to my heels, as it finally acknowledges according to a French study (of course it had to be French), women in high heels have power over men (silent clap);
  • Upworthy writes about one of my favorite successful woman giving simple advice to women in business (Don’t give a sh*t), and I couldn’t agree more;
  • As we’re getting ready to bid farewell to 2014, Huffington Post reminds us of the 29 best moments for women in 2014;
  • Want to be more productive? The Week tells you to focus on happiness (yup, be happy!).

Happy Sunday 🙂

The Corporate Sister.

Why It’s OK to Feel Like A Loser at Work (And What to Do About It)

Photo: bet.com

Photo: bet.com

We’ve all felt like a loser at work, at some point or another. Whether because we seriously messed up, a colleague got promoted over us, or we spilled coffee on our semi-clean shirts (in top of the baby milk and lipstick stain from last month). Feeling like a loser sucks, and feeling like a loser at work, where you do have to put somewhat of a front, sucks even more…

Yet it’s simply hard, if not nearly impossible to avoid. In order to make progress, you will have to fail. And in order to be successful, you have to learn to fail well; but it’s all about accepting to feel like a loser and pick up your self-esteem off the floor with as much dignity (and style) as possible. When you’re a strong, ambitious, no-nonsense woman or man at work, that’s (almost) equivalent to skipping dessert…

Remember Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, admitting she’d dated every loser around her before landing Mr. Right (may I add, Mr. Very Right)? Or Michael Jordan admitting to missing over 9,000 shots in his career? This is not  to inspire you to go out there and fail some more, but rather to acknowledge failure, and feeling like you can’t possibly pick your face up off you cubicle floor, is part of the game of success. I’ve dated losers, failed more times than I care to admit when sitting for my license, taken a step back in my career after having kids, and this is my second blog venture, and so forth and so on: Failure and I have had a few run-ins, and we’re just now getting to be on civil terms. You too should get acquainted with it, and learn to fail well so you can succeed even better:

1. Kick the fear of failure to the curb! Even worse than failing, is the failure to fail, which catapults you to failure even faster. Recognize you will fail, just as you will have bad hair days or make a lousy meal (you know you have). Don’t be afraid of the ridicule or the sour experience. Confront it heads on, reapply your lipstick and move on!

2. Nix the loser attitude! Feeling like a loser (temporarily) is one thing, having the attitude to match is another. As much as you may feel like crawling under your desk and missing the quarterly reporting deadline, don’t! Take a minute (or two), compose yourself and get back to work with a professional attitude. That’s just what you do (and then go buy yourself a pint of Dulce de Leche ice cream)…

3. Now re-calibrate your performance! Losses are there to show us where we’ve gotten off track. Use them! Analyze your mistakes, fix them if possible, and apply the lesson to your next performance. Doesn’t Beyonce herself watch every single one of her performances after the fact to improve on them? Be your career’s Queen Bee…

Did you ever feel like a loser at work? What did you do about it?

The Corporate Sis.