by Solange Lopes | Mar 27, 2015 | Career |
Olivia Pope – Photo credit: hellogiggles.com
I love the idea of style, everywhere, anywhere, at all times. If it were up to me, we’d live in style, not just for some vain, purely materialistic purpose, but for the currency of well-being it brings to our lives. Even at work, even when the air-tight month end deadlines could make us care less about whether our right shoe matches the left, or whether we look like we’ve gotten dressed out of a suitcase. Even when it’s cool not to care about style, because we supposedly have more “substance” than that.
As many of us tread the professional waters of our professional lives, we try as much as we can to be mindful to match our shoes, comb our hair and generally look presentable. Some even make it a mission to look their absolute best, upping the ante when it comes to office style, creating new categories of office fashion pedigrees as they christen the most expensive must-haves when it comes to work fashion. Yet even in the midst of this whole “being careful about your appearance” culture, there are still some style mistakes some of us make without even realizing:
- Mistakenly thinking style is just about what you wear! Your office fashion may be on point, yet you may still lack in the way you present yourself to your managers and peers. Style is about knowing who you are, what looks best on you, what is appropriate for which circumstances, and generally how to carry yourself and adapt to your surroundings. So as you’re impatiently waiting on your tax refund to overhaul your work wardrobe, pause and think about who you really are, what you really want, especially out of a job or career, and let that guide your sense of style at work.
- Being inconsistent in your approach to style. Are you the woman who dons a Prada suit one day, only to show up in distressed jeans and a tee the next? Unless your company is uber-versatile when it comes to dress codes (or favors changing personalities), inconsistency in your approach to style can confuse others and hurt your image at work, especially if you’re in a position of leadership. So while you don’t have to wear the same suit in three different colors, flip-flopping between ultra-conservative and grunge, not so much!
- Forgetting about your direct surroundings! Style is not about pretty clothes (refer to item#1). If you’re decked out on the daily, and your cube looks like a remnant of World War II, we have a problem (well, you do!). Approach who you are, what you do and where you do it with neatness and…style!
- Producing sloppy work! Whether you’re aware of it, you’re building a brand at work! Producing sloppy work just shows you don’t care, and you don’t pay attention to the way your work is done, received and/or perceived. A big component of style is projecting positive results too…
- Dressing for the position you want, not for who you are! You’ve heard it, you should not dress for your current position but rather for the one you want. Yet, grabbing clothes and shoes off a mannequin, and putting on a persona to fit some self-assigned ideal, is not style, it’s impersonation. As much as you may want to dress for the position you want, don’t forget to infuse your style with your own essence. Wear that suit, but add a hip (but not too hip) necklace to it. You can still have swagger and succeed…
- Letting your looks precede you! There’s so much you can tell about yourself just by the way you carry yourself, the way you dress (or the way you choose not to dress), and the general way you present yourself to the world, especially the corporate world. Yet nothing beats showing the real you, even in a corporate world where most put on a facade and pretty much “fake the funk”. Now there’s a difference between faking it “till you make it, and purposely or not omitting to show the real you. Don’t let your style precede you, let it speak for the real “you”!
- Or having your style just show the most “blah” version of yourself! There’s a reason why you put on a suit to interview for a job, or scour the blogs (hopefully this one) to figure out what to wear to the office holiday party. You want to show yourself in the best light possible. Opting for work style options that are boring, “blah”, and don’t show who you are only works to cast a shadow on you. You don’t have to don sequins to the office, but you’re allowed to sparkle a little…
- Not respecting others’ style (or others): You may think your brand-spakin’ new Birkin bag just catapulted you into high society, yet that doesn’t give you permission to look down on anyone else’s Coach purse. Respect others; that includes who they are, the way they carry themselves, and the way they choose to dress or present themselves. That nerdy-looking gal with a bit of a grungy style may just be the next female Mark Zuckerberg, or may very well be the highly-sought after investor the whole company has been talking about. As my grandma would say, if you ain’t got anything positive to say (or contribute, or add to the Universe), you know…
- Refusing to let your style evolve: Working Girl was an awesome movie, and a great flashback into 90’s fashion and the era of padded shoulders. No offense here, but moving with the times is not only good for your wardrobe, it can also do wonders for your career. Don’t get me wrong, the office is not where you should be experimenting with the latest fashion trends (please stay away from distressed jeans and blue-streaked hair). Yet placing yourself out of the 90”s style wise may help you connect better with millennial colleagues, and even tap into new, more modern business opportunities…
- Last but not least, thinking you can get away without any sense of style whatsoever! There is no such a thing as bad or good style. Yet not having any sense of style attacks your very identity. It’s not just about what you wear, but the culture you bring in through the way you carry yourself. Not knowing who you are, what you bring to the plate, and what your particular, unique cultural sense of style is, can only hurt you. It’s ok to show who you are…
What other style mistakes have you, or others, made at work?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Mar 25, 2015 | Career
Ms. Marieme Faye, Financial Strategist and Wealth Consciousness Expert
Today, it’s my pleasure to introduce on the blog a lady dear to my heart, and an extraordinary woman I’m thankful to know! Our Sister of Impact this week is Financial Strategist and Wealth Consciousness Expert Marieme Faye, who is speaking to us about her coaching career, how to live an abundant life, and why you may be your biggest road block on your way to success!
1. Dear Marieme, welcome to the blog! Can you tell us a bit about you and what you do?
Thank you for being an inspiring and empowering voice for women! I am honored to be a guest on your blog.
I was born and raised in Sénégal, West Africa. I am my mother’s oldest child; I have six siblings and five half-siblings from my father’s side. I am a loving sister, a daughter and the lucky aunt of five amazing nieces and nephews.
I am the woman who failed a “million” times on my way to self- empowerment, personal success and living my life’s purpose. Failures make a woman wise and experienced; they are stepping-stones to worthy achievements.
I am a Financial Strategist & Wealth Consciousness Expert with Wealthy Women Academy & Richésse Financial who loves speaking, mentoring and coaching others to live up to their true potential, to be happy “now” and create lasting wealth in their life and business.
2. What has led you to a coaching career, and what do you love about this career path?
One word: Life.
A few years ago, my dad sent me to Boston to go to school. I later found out that his underlying reason was to “get rid of me” as his new bride could not stand my presence in their life. I was my family’s advocate and did my best to protect my mother and siblings after my parents’ divorce. My new stepmother didn’t like the fact that I still had a soft place on my father’s heart; she made sure that he sent me far away.
I found myself living in a foreign country where people spoke a language that I had to master in order to integrate myself in my new environment as well as excel in school. I had to learn to live in the midst of strangers, I felt exiled from my loved ones and all the comfort, lifestyle and culture I knew. That was getting way out of my comfort zone!
Life was stressful. I felt lonely, untrained to live in my new environment and completely irresponsible with money (my father allowed me to spend his money but he never got a chance to teach me how to manage it, save it or invest it).
On top of that, I inherited my mom and six siblings as my dad “abandoned” us to our own fate and decided he would no longer send me money or help my mom financially other then giving her a mediocre divorce settlement that was only used to buy food.
My mom depended solely on me to help her start her new life. Our cultural tradition states the oldest child must take care of the family’s needs when necessary, my siblings were too young to help out, so the burden of providing and taking care of my family fell on my shoulders. I became a head of household. My life was never the same from that point on.
I joined the workforce and worked really hard to take care of my basic needs and send the bulk of my money to my mom so she could raise my siblings decently.
I lost “myself” in the process. I felt like a zombie, waking up every day doing the same thing over and over again. Life lacked purpose and I was heartbroken.
Because of my pain of being away from the people I loved the most, the heavy obligation I felt providing for my family working harder than anyone I knew, adapting to my new environment, waking up every day to go to jobs I hated and blaming my dad for my life’s misery; I was a “human bomb” ready to explode and give up on this life because it didn’t make sense anymore, it didn’t matter, it was useless and so was I…so I thought until I discovered the world of personal development.
A world filled with people who not only took responsibility for their life’s’ creations but were committed to pay the price to create the best version of themselves and be of service to humanity. I felt alive again. I attended events, seminars, retreats, spent time, money and energy in the pursuit of “discovering myself” and “what my purpose in life was”. I hired my first coach and found myself on a new path, a path that was filled with hope, growth, Ahas moments, expansion, LIFE as well a sprinkle of breakdowns and breakthroughs along the way. I was fascinated by all the amazing things I was learning and found joy in helping others positively transform their lives, evolve, grow, discover their true divine self and live up to their true potential.
With a background in Finance, I worked in the financial industry throughout the years. My career although not soul satisfying, awakened a desire in me to serve others on a deeper level. As I was consulting with families and individuals on their finances, I could not bear the thought of people living in poverty, unfulfilled, unhappy and not using their God given gifts and talents. Strategies and advices were easy to come up with but some people struggled with implementation because of whom they were, what they were feeling and how they were living their lives. This was one of the catalysts that led me to be a professional coach and mentor in the realm of money, wealth, personal success and personal fulfillment.
Life is meant to be joyful and fully experienced; we as human beings are meant to grow, shine, prosper and be happy. Children demonstrate this very well; observe them. Their innocence, authenticity and joie de vivre make them very inspiring.
Every event, every experience, every heartache, every pain I felt, every joyful moment, every challenge I overcame and every victory I had led me to my current career and made me who I am today.
I love seeing the light in people’s eyes when they have breakthroughs, I love witnessing their transformation and I am always honored to be of their journey and evolution.
That was a long answer! 🙂
Photo credit: spiritualinspiration.tumblr.com
3. For others aspiring to the same career, what advice do you have?
Go for it! Follow your heart; your desires are your “compass” to your life’s calling and purpose. Spend some time asking yourself soul-stirring questions like:
What do I really want to do for the rest of my life?
What brings me joy?
What fulfills me?
What do I love doing so much that I “could” do it for free all day?
What gets me so excited that I can’t wait for the sun to rise again in the morning so I can do it all over again?
How do I want to serve others?
In what shape and form do I want to do it?
What/ how would that look like, sound like, feel like?
These types of questions will give your “clues” as to what your life’s purpose is. The answer will definitely come from your heart and the good news is that you already know what it is. You might just need to quiet your mind so you can hear the whispers of your soul. Meditation can help, start with five to ten minutes of silence and quiet a day.
I will also have you consider that you are already a coach in some area of your life. I have always been a coach and a mentor to my family and friends for as long as I can remember. I have always been naturally good at solving other people’s problems. I just wasn’t being compensated for it. Now I am getting paid to do what I love, to serve others.
Take some time to think about it, figure out what you are naturally good at, write down the experiences that have changed you, describe the pain that you have been through and how you overcame your life’s challenges, most importantly pay attention to your desires because they will guide you to your life’s purpose. If you want to accelerate your results, hire a coach who resonates with you.
4. As a woman in the coaching business, and especially as a woman of color, what obstacles have you or do you still face to flourish in your field?
The greatest obstacle to my own success and personal growth was “me” and will always be me. I get to play small or big. Only I can choose to allow my fears, doubts, worries, and other people’s opinions to stop me or use them as fuel for success.
There was a time when I thought that I was “limited” and was not given opportunities to flourish because I was a black woman and to top things a black African woman who speaks several languages and had an accent. In the city I live, I was surrounded by brilliant women and in their midst I could not “see” my own worth or even stand in my personal power as the brilliant loving and smart woman I am. I doubted myself a million times, questioned my value a billion times. I gave up on myself and on my dreams several times throughout my career for a moment…the whispers of my soul were always louder than my own limitations and I just knew that my purpose was bigger than me. I knew that I was born to be who I am today and there are specific people that I am here to serve. It became personal, it was like following a divine commandment that I could not say “no” to.
You must learn to know yourself, know who you are, know your worth, know your value so that you can have the Courage to keep going when you feel like you have nothing left in you. That is why I use daily tools and mind
shifting exercises to coach my clients to own their true power, be self- empowered and have the confidence and faith to just do what must be done to reach their goals.
Some people will discourage you, some will prosecute you; the more it happens the more I know that I am on the right path. I have mainly worked in a male dominated industry throughout my career, but I never let it put me down because my job on earth is bigger than any obstacle, challenge, trial and prosecution that I face.
The more I evolve, the stronger I become, the less the challenges, obstacles and critics affect me. Know yourself, know your worth, know your “WHY” and you will overcome your perceived barriers and limitations.
Photo credit: todaybestquotes.com
5. How have you overcome these obstacles/challenges?
I believe that the only real limitations are the ones you “impose” on yourself mostly subconsciously. Yes, there are things that you may never have control over; gladly surrender to them God or to your higher power.
My best advice to overcome challenges is to truly really deeply know yourself, so that you will know how to deal with those challenges when they show up.
By knowing yourself I mean, know who you are, know who you are not, know your values, know your principles, know what you like and dislike, know your boundaries, know what makes you passionate, know your relationship with your creator or higher power, know your habits, know your strengths and your weaknesses, know what you care and don’t care about.
To paraphrase Jack Canfield; Events are always neutral, your reactions and actions to the events will determine their outcome and impact in your life. Thus your reactions and actions towards your challenges will determine their outcome and impact in your life.
Challenges don’t ever completely go away. As you evolve and grow you will have new challenges to overcome. As you work on yourself and stand in your personal power; you will see the challenges as opportunities to strengthen
yourself and reach new levels of growth and greatness in your life. Your response to challenges will be different as you change your perspective and know that you have the ability to use empowering tools and resources. A coach/mentor can help you guide you in this process.
A few months ago, a friend of mine implied that I had 3 things going against me, she said:
– you are a woman
– you are black
– you are from a foreign country and speak with an accent
For a moment, I believed her. I felt discouraged, hurt, hopeless- disempowered. I told my coach what she said and how I felt. Thomas replied: yes, you have those 3 things going for you:
– you are a woman
– you are black
– you are from a foreign country and speak with a beautiful accent
obstacles – Photo credit http://www.idlehearts.com
Remember, no one can take your power; you may lose control of it for a moment but it is always yours. And you have the right to have it!
6. Last but not least, from your coaching experience, what advice do you have for women at work to help them reach their goals and achieve their dreams?
Make Peace with your work and your current situation NOW, especially when you hate your job and feel disconnected from your purpose. Be grateful for the paychecks you receive as they fund your dreams and provide for you and your family.
Let your desires guide you, follow your heart and use your “dislike” about your current situation as fuel to push you towards achieving your goals.
If you love your work, excel at it, give it your best every single day and show gratitude for it.
If you don’t love what you do, you can choose to stop doing it cold turkey Or you can still do your best, show gratitude for your paychecks and make plans to leave your job.
Reorganize your finances and save 3-6 months of income or whatever amount makes you feel comfortable based on your cash flow and business profit if any.
Put your “quit date” on your calendar and prepare yourself mentally to leave when the time comes.
If you have a business or want to start one; work on your business a few hours a week, part time.
Follow your dreams in your spare time, don’t wait for that “someday”, that date in the future when you will finally give yourself permission to be yourself, do what you love and have the courage to pursue your dreams. Someday never comes…Start now.
The more you do what you love, the more successful and fulfilled you will be and the happier you feel overall.
Time doesn’t wait for you and it is your most precious asset; use it wisely!
Thank you Marieme!
by Solange Lopes | Mar 23, 2015 | Career |
Hushbook app – Photo credit: stylecaster.com
It’s spring cleaning time, and one are you may want to spruce up and remove unnecessary distractions and time-wasters from is your social media world, and more specifically your Facebook newsfeed…And of course, there’s an app for that!
It’s called Hushbook , and what it does is basically help you filter down your newsfeed to what you really want to see. The end result: less annoying or unnecessary updates, and hopefully less time wasted…
My $0.05: Where do I sign up…
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Mar 22, 2015 | Career |
Photo credit: http://www.thisisyourconscience.com
Yes, we know, as much as we may be chanting “gender equality” slogans, celebrating National Women’s Month, the reality is we may not attain it globally until…2058! In the meantime, women are still working in largely male-dominated cultures, and having to deal with discrimination attacks and litigations of all kinds. In the midst of the confusion, discrimination and other workplace conflicts, many a woman decide to up and quit…
According to ThinkProgress, women of color make up a third of all working women, yet their presence is scarce in Corporate America. Women overall make up only 19.2% of board positions at S&P 500 companies. This explains the growing exodus of professional women out of Corporate America. The question, however, remains: faced with so many pressures and obstacles, should we stay, or should we pack up, leave our conflicted offices, and leave happy ever after (or unfulfilled ever after?)
I’ve asked myself the question many times. Most times, I didn’t exactly have the choice or the luxury of choosing for that matter. Many a times as well, I’ve found myself at the receptive end of a corporate sister’s angry, sad, even desperate professional cry for help. Do I stay or do I go?
And as I’ve replied many a times, both to myself and others:” If you’re ready to leave and never look back, then go ahead. But if there’s some fight left in you, then stay…”
So what are you going to do?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Mar 13, 2015 | Career |
(Photo: iStock by Getty Images, #StarStock image for the #UnfinishedBusiness movie)
Hello everyone! Today our guest contributor Stephanie Samuel is recounting a business travel experience that taught her quite a bit about confidence at work as a woman. Thank you Stephanie!
Business trips are a privilege that many often dream about. It is often embellished – on TV in the Jackson Hewitt “Where’s Janet” commercial and on the big screen in comedic movies such as the new film Unfinished Business – as an opportunity for ridiculously over- the-top jaunts.
Those images of all-expenses-paid excursions to The Big Easy or the home of Oktoberfest are alluring. Yet the truth is, besides the fact you’ll probably spend more time in a hotel or conference center than exploring the sights (sorry to burst your bubble), business trips can really test you ability to deal with high-pressure situations.
I’ve traveled to seven states to interview newsmakers, make connections and represent my publication. During these trips, I feel a rush comparable to skydiving. Just as the skydiver is excited to push him or herself to the physical limit, I also feel the excitement to produce great work.
Yet I must confess the pressure sometimes brings out the anxieties and insecurities I have as a black woman working in a male-dominated industry. (A recent American Society of News Editors survey revealed men make up two-thirds of U.S. newsrooms).
An example that comes to mind happened during a trip to Tennessee. I was there in part to interview the executive producer and the writer behind an upcoming movie. It was a major film that focused on a conversional subject that our readers were following closely.These were important interviews, to say the least.
I had the interview’s time and location scheduled, my questions written up, and my outfit laid out days ahead. Then, the unthinkable happened – I lost my purse and just like that, the whole interview was in jeopardy. I immediately called the necessary people, rescheduled the interview times, all the while apologizing profusely. Yet, I still I felt like there was egg on my face.
As I arrived to the media room on schedule for my new interview time, I learned a male colleague who was scheduled to use the space before me had also arrived late. Although his tardy interview was now delayed just like mine, he kept his cool. He seemingly laughed the whole thing off as minor scheduling error.
To be clear, I harbor no hard feelings towards this gentleman. Yet I was definitely shocked at the difference in reactions to what was basically the same situation. Why was he so calm while I was panicked?
Former Wall Street Journal managing editor and Condé Nast Editor-in-Chief Joanne Lipman explained in a recent article titled “Women at Work: A Guide for Men”, that women continually feel the pressure to prove their competence and earn respect in the workplace even as they climb the corporate ladder. Men, on other hand, don’t have the same pressure because they assume they are owed respect by nature of their employment.
Fiscal Times writer Drew Gannon wrote in the article “How Men and Women Differ in the Workplace” that while women tend to enjoy challenges more than their male counterparts, men are more confident even when unprepared.
Gannon quoted George Washington University Law Professor Charles Craver’s essay “The Impact of Gender on Bargaining Interactions”, stating “Males tend to convey more confidence than women in performance-oriented settings.”
Craver’s essay continues “Even when minimally prepared, men believe they can ‘wing it’ and get through successfully.On the other hand, no matter how thoroughly prepared women are, they tend to feel unprepared.”
When I reflect on the incident, I now realize I was trying to prove my competency. I was also trying to break free of the stereotypes of the African-American always running on CP (colored-people) time, and the emotional, scatterbrained woman.
So how can women better flourish under pressure?
It is tempting to oversimplify the answer in a punchy phrase. (Be confident! Believe in yourself! Lean in!) In that particular incident, I needed more confidence. Most importantly, I needed to unpack cultural depictions of women and African-Americans that had followed me on my trip.
Similarly I think every woman must develop a process to better handle pressure and trust her own instincts and abilities.
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Stephanie Samuel is a reporter with over nine years of experience. She has written for various publications including the AFRO-American, the Prince George’s Sentinel, and The Christian Post. You can follow her on Twitter @stephlivinlive
