by Solange Lopes | Aug 2, 2016 | Career
“It takes a village to grow your career.”
This quote, extracted from my e-book “The Corporate Sister’s Guide to Taking Back Control of Your Career“, embodies one of the realizations I made later rather than sooner in my life and career. If you’ve ever wondered why you may not be further ahead in your career, business, or even in life altogether, take a good, long, hard look around you. More specifically at your friends…
Who do you surround yourself with? Who do you spend the majority of your free time with? And who do you (or do you not) share your dreams and aspirations with? Because, believe it or not, and as much as you’d like to separate your work from your friendships and personal life, it’s just a fact that your friends end up shaping your happiness, creativity and…career!
After all, we’re social beings, right? The people we know, and and hang around us, affect us, whether we like it or not. According to this 2014 study, friends can greatly influence each other’s choices. And that applies to our careers as well…
When it comes to the types of friends that will help your further your career, I tend to agree with Michelle Obama when she says this:
“We should always have three friends in our lives: one who walks ahead, who we look up to and follow; one who walks beside us, who is with us every step of our journey; and then, one who we reach back for and bring along after we’ve cleared the way”.
In my career, and through my experience with other corporate sisters, this is what it has meant over the years, in terms of the friends who can help you further your career:
The Girlfriend Who Inspires and Motivates You
That’s the friend you can call when your career seems to be heading straight to hell, with no layover or pit stop. I’m not talking about a crutch or a permanent shoulder to cry on, but rather a confidante who can help you get that pep back in your step.
It’s also the friend who herself is motivated, inspired and understands what it is to strive for more in your career and life. She’ll listen to your dreams and craziest ambitions without belittling them or making you feel like you’re being unrealistic. She’ll make you see possibility where you only have a vague inkling for something. And in her own life and career, she’ll model that hunger and ambition for herself and for other women.
The Girlfriend Who Shares Your Journey
You know that woman who’s been there by your side since you were sporting neon-colored skirts and had your straight bangs on? Yes, that one…The one who’s seen you through your ups and downs, having the jitters before marriage, struggling with pregnancy, and putting the kids’ diapers on the wrong way…
That’s the girlfriend who’s walking besides you and shares your journey as you both go through life and career. Granted, you may not always have kept in touch with that girl from high school or college, but you can certainly build new memories with new friends.
This woman will ground you and remind you of the little things to be grateful for, and the big things to look forward to. In the middle of the madness, she’ll be like your anchor, sharing the good times, struggles and a good glass of wine too…
The Girlfriend Who Looks Up to You
Now, this is not be in any ay condescending…But just as you need friends to inspire and mentor you, you also need to be able to give back…This is the woman you can help through the same struggles you’ve faced, the one you can give some advice to on getting that promotion, or adjusting to corporate politics…
It’s the woman you can guide through the doors you cross (and open), and the one who reminds you you’re not just doing all this work just for yourself. That others behind you are also benefiting from your dedication and success…
Do you have these three women friends in your life? Is it time to re-evaluate who surrounds you?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Aug 1, 2016 | Career
If there’s one thing Soraya’s known for, it’s her hard-working attitude. She’d be the first one in the office, and the last one out. She’d eat at her desk, taking on more than everyone else, volunteering for every project, and adding on to her to-do list over and over again. Until she hit a brick wall…She realized she wasn’t happy at work, and to top it off, her colleague got the promotion she had been working so hard for…
For the longest time, like Soraya, I thought working hard, keeping my head down and logging in hours at work was the formula to succeed at work. So every time I’d face a failure, I’d blame it on myself, the circumstances, the environment, the other people…And every time I’d achieve a victory, or pass a milestone, I wouldn’t stop long enough to appreciate it and build on it for the future.
So many of us wonder why we’re not where we want to be in our careers. Why this or that other person has risen higher than us in Big Corporate. Or why it’s so hard for us to make it to the next level. So we start questioning ourselves, others, the system, politics, etc…
There are certainly many reasons that can prevent one from being successful at work. And yes, a number of these reasons may or may not involve external factors and circumstances. However, one of the most overlooked aspects of career success for many, if not most of us, is mindset.
As I came to find out later rather than sooner, our thought patterns, belief systems and mindsets do define our reality. This applies to our careers as much, if not more, than it applies to our entire lives. After all, don’t we spend the majority of our time at work? Isn’t it where many of our interpersonal relationships get defined, and where so many of us get a (false) sense of worth? Which in turn can lead to perceiving ourselves and others in a way that doesn’t allow us to bring our full potential to the table. So we may end up shrinking, backing away, or just settling…
Out of all the negative mindsets that can affect our career, these are the most challenging I’ve had to deal with (and am still dealing with):
“I’m Not Enough”
The confidence gap is real! Despite all the progress we’ve made as women, we’re still nearly absent at the top of the corporate game. Yes, we’re earning more degrees than ever before in the US, constitute half of the workforce, and are even closing the management gap. Yet, we’re still confronted with a debilitating lack of self-assurance, as shown by overwhelming evidence.
I can’t count how many times this “I’m not enough” mindset has kept me from striving at work. This constant feeling that all things being equal, I didn’t deserve the promotion, or wasn’t qualified enough for the job.
It’s not until we’re willing to face this self-limiting mindset that we can finally express our full potential. One of my favorite mantras is a very simple one: “I’m enough!”. In life as well as at work, holding this belief can make a world of difference between actively claiming success, and letting it pass us by.
“Look at Her/Him/Them”
If there’s one place the green-eyed monster reigns supreme, it’s at work. That co-worker who nabbed the promotion before us. Or that big opportunity being handed to your colleague. It’s so easy falling prey to comparing our careers, and ultimately our lives to others’.
As Iyanla Vanzant puts it so well, every time “we compare ourselves to each other, we commit violence against ourselves.” Understanding we have different paths, and that one’s career is unique, makes all the difference.
“I’ve failed, so I’m a Failure”
Failing is hard, especially at work. Yet, it’s from our mistakes and failures that we learn the most important lessons about life and work. Believing that failing on this project, getting a bad review or dropping the ball on a deadline, makes us a failure, creates a snowball effect that’s hard to stop.
I’ve had to remind myself time and time over, that I couldn’t allow myself to remain in a place of failure. It’s OK to fail, what’s not OK is to stay there and start believing you’re a failure.
Have you dealt with any of these mindsets at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jul 29, 2016 | Career
This is our weekly career and lifestyle news update, where we round up exciting news of the last week and we let you have it…ahem, news-wise that is…
Think of it as your career gossiping section on steroids…
And while you’re at it, follow us on Facebook, Twitter,IG, and Pinterest!
Here we go…
Happy Friday!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jul 25, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Mornings can be rough.
I’d know… I set up my alarm for 4am every night, only to play a game of catch-and-release with the snooze button until about 5am. At which point I engage in a tough back-and-forth with myself, discussing the pros and cons of leaving the sweet refuge of my blanket to face the harsh realities of this world. Then starts the mad dash to take a shower, get breakfast and lunch bags ready, before (gently) admonishing the small creatures of the house to roll out of bed and act like humans…
For women everywhere, the lapse of time between the moment we open our eyes to the time we finally walk out the door, looking somewhat human, without forgetting any little creature or dropping the other shoe, IS a journey in and of itself. And for most of us, how we start our day very often defines how we go through it (which also very often explains sugar binges and chocolate highs..)…
Yet, there are plenty of women out there who do this day in and day out, without (apparently) resorting to massive amounts of sugar or excessive online shopping (don’t judge me). From doing a bit of research and looking around, I’ve learnt one or two things from some of these successful and uber-productive women on hacking my morning routine (and cutting down on the sugar and online shopping):
Make Sleep and Exercise a Priority
Listen, if you don’t care for yourself, you can’t care for anyone else. Period. Running on empty batteries is running on no batteries. It took me a while to understand this, as my over-inflated, Superwoman ego was bent on doing it all, no matter what. Except your body can only do so much, and your mind may betray you the minute a German chocolate cake shows up…
In her latest book “Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom and Wonder“, Arianna Huffington talks about practicing daily rituals. When speaking to Soul Cycle, she explains how her daily ritual starts “the night before, with a good night’s sleep”.
Meanwhile, First Lady Michelle Obama gets up as early as 4:30 am to exercise. In this 2009 interview with Oprah, she puts it in unequivocal terms: “If I had to get up to take care of my kids, I’d get up to do that. But when it comes to yourself, then it’s suddenly, ‘Oh, I can’t get up at 4:30.’ So I had to change that. If I don’t exercise, I won’t feel good. I’ll get depressed.”
And is it any surprise that Vogue Editor-in-chief Anna Wintour starts her day at 5:45 am with a game of tennis?
Ok, time to dig out my sneakers…
Find Creative Ways to Spend Some Time With Family
Even more than money, time’s a commodity. Especially when it comes to spending time with family…
In the research for her “I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make The Most of Their Time” book, author Laura Vanderkam found out many busy families choose to have family breakfasts instead of dinners. All in all, they focused on how they could find ways throughout their days to create family memories.
For celebrities like J. Lo and Kim Kardashian, it means starting their busy day with their twins. For others, it may mean leaving early and saving dinner time for family time. Whatever works best…
“Good Enough” Is the New Perfect
The biggest morning hack of all is letting go of the need to be perfect. Whether it’s foregoing blow-drying your hair like designer Tory Burch, or getting an extra half-hour of sleep like Oprah (so you can do even more afterwards), understanding that what you can do is “good enough” is one giant step towards turning your mornings into success.
What are some of the morning hacks you use?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jul 22, 2016 | Career
This is our weekly career and lifestyle news update, where we round up exciting news of the last week and we let you have it…ahem, news-wise that is…
Think of it as your career gossiping section on steroids…
And while you’re at it, follow us on Facebook, Twitter,IG, and Pinterest!
Here we go…
- In recent news, the Internet was buzzing with “plagiarism this” and “plagiarism that” after Melania Trump’s speech at the RNC convention. Let’s look at how it can affect your career;
- Finally taking that summer vacation? Ellevate Network confirms taking time off helps you thrive at work;
- Wanna double your salary? Read this…now!
- Uncomfortable networking event alert? Business Insider suggests 17 icebreakers to ahem…
break smash the networking ice;
- if you’re a note-taking freak like myself, you must check out Corporette’s busy woman’s guide to Evernote (my absolute fave) and other note-taking apps;
- No time to hit the gym? These 15 jobs can keep you in shape;
- Ever wondered what the difference is between sick days and personal days? The Muse tells you everything you need to know about personal days;
- So you made a bad career move? Here are 5 moves to help you recover;
- This linen jacket is your new summer go-to.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
