10 Practical Tips to navigate office politics as a working woman
One of the biggest obstacles that many a working woman faces in her career is navigating office politics. The subtle yet very much existing bias against working women, combined with the wage gap and other gender inequalities in the workplace, make it challenging to master the politics of office life.
This is especially prevalent for working women as many of us tend to feel uncomfortable in confrontational situations, political maneuvering or quid pro quo behavior. Yet, being in an office also means having to deal with office politics. It means having to operate within the political fray that makes up a large part of corporate and business environment because work politics are simply inevitable. Personal and work-oriented goals collide in the workplace, as people seek promotion and compete for limited positions and resources.
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As a working woman, navigating office politics has been one of my greatest struggles, especially as an introvert. Between complicated inter-personal dynamics, energy-charged business meetings, and other political challenges at work, I was often left at a loss and confused. It took many years, conversations, lessons learnt and research to even begin to understand how to start making a dent in this imposing obstacle for working women.
If you’re reading this, and are wondering what steps you can take to navigate your particular office or business’ office politics, here are a few practical tips to get started:
Start with your mindset
I often say that it all starts with our mindsets. What you picture in your mind has an interesting way to manifest. For this very reason, it’s crucial to begin the work within, more specifically in your mindset.
Examine your mindset as honestly as possible, and question the particular beliefs that you hold about yourself and as related to your work, career or business. What are those disruptive beliefs that create fear when it comes to your career or business? Are you challenged by inter-personal dynamics and confrontation, and if so, why? How can you get more comfortable dealing with inter-personal dynamics at work? Asking yourself these questions, and exploring avenues to strengthen your mindset and re-frame your view of office politics as positive and productive can make all the difference in the world.
Get clear about your motives and goals
One of the reasons why many of us may shy away from office politics is that we’re not clear about what we want. In order to stand your ground in the political jungle prevailing in most offices and business, you must be clear about your motives and goals.
What are your objectives when it comes to your career? What goals do you have in mind for a specific project? What motives drive you as related to your work? Understand these will help you gain the clarity you need to face the professional political landscape.
Understand the personalities and motives of others
As important as understanding your motives and goals, is understanding those of others around you. It can be challenging to read, let alone control, the complex situations arising in the context of office politics. Considering the mix of personalities and motivations that are most often part of office environments, it can be easy to get lost in the shuffle.
Learn to observe the personalities of those around you, before making any premature assumption or having an early reaction. In addition, try to understand their motives. What does their personality tell you about who they are? What could their motives be as related to a particular project, assignment, or to the team, department or company in general? The more information you can get along these lines, the better you’ll be able to strategically prepare, plan, and create options to manage political situations.
Advocate for yourself
A large part of successfully navigating office politics is being able to advocate for yourself. This doesn’t mean adopting a defensive stance, or even promoting yourself at all times. Yet, it means placing yourself in positions where you’re able to demonstrate what you bring to the table.
Don’t hesitate to share results you’ve achieved, and to show the benefits that you can bring to a given project, assignment, team or even company. Even better than tooting your own horn, it’s crucial to strategically understand what would constitute a benefit to others, and present it as your unique competitive advantage. This will take you from uncomfortable “bragging” to strategic “serving”.
Make strategic alliances
In order to successfully navigate office politics, you must learn to recognize the political organization chart. This is not just your formal organizational chart. Rather, it’s about identifying the real office power players around you. Who really has authority around you? Who’s respected and listened to? Who mentors others?
Make strategic alliances with those whose influence you admire and who can help you in your career growth. Build relationships that are mutually beneficial while absorbing as much knowledge as possible.
Leverage informal networks
In addition to understanding who the power players are and building strategic alliances, you must also get familiar with the social networks at hand. What are the groups or cliques in existence around you? Who gets along with whom? Where are the interpersonal conflicts?
Deciphering the social networks around you can also help you navigate the influences at play. It will also save you from unfortunate faux-pas in your career.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer
This expression perfectly applies to office politics. Understanding the power players, as well as the informal networks, will help you distance yourself from those who use others for their own purpose. While you should be courteous at all times, you should also be careful of what you share with them.
Understand what motivates them, and steer clear of their negative politicking.
Go above mentorship, seek sponsors
While mentors can pour wisdom, advice and knowledge into you, sponsors can actually advocate for you. These are the people, usually in leadership positions, who will intercede for you and invite you into rooms you wouldn’t normally have access to.
Navigating office politics successfully will require you to have sponsors that support you as you manage the political atmosphere at play.
Use emotions as your personal compass
Working women are often falsely described as being too “emotional” to successfully navigate office politics. What is most often seen as a success impediment for women at work, is actually a strength. As working women, we can actually leverage our emotional quotient and use it as a compass to be politically savvy at work.
This includes being attuned to our emotions to identify the type of people and environments you’re dealing with. This will help you plan, prepare and adjust how you navigate office politics.
Adopt a successful behavior
Look around you and identify successful behaviors you can model. Learn to understand your organization’s culture, as well as what works in it. As a working woman, be a model of integrity by limiting how much you deal with gossip, being positive, and rising above conflicts.
Most importantly, always remain professional, and adopt an organizational, rather than a personal, perspective.
What other tips do you have to navigate office politics as a working woman?
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While there’s a lot of noise around starting a business and entrepreneurship in general, no much gets said about the emotional side of starting a business. However, the very act of launching a business is first and foremost an emotional process. It requires faith and a level of mental stability that many of us may not necessarily have.
Very few entrepreneurs admit to the emotional roller-coaster that starting and running a business really is. In the age of “following your dreams” and the hyper-mediatized temptation of social media hustling, it can be easy to imagine that entrepreneurship is easy. After all, it’s just a matter of “following your passion and the money will come”, right? Wrong…
While entrepreneurship requires being adequately prepared with the appropriate tools and strategies, the emotional part of being an entrepreneur is often under-estimated. From sheer excitement, motivation to loneliness, sadness and even depression in many cases, many are the emotions that entrepreneurs face.
Here are a few ways to deal with the emotional side of entrepreneurship:
Have realistic expectations
Many entrepreneurs are also perfectionists. Which also means that many of us set very high and quite unrealistic expectations for ourselves and entrepreneurial journey. While these can provide a temporary high, they can also bring a certain level of disappointment in people.
Take time for self-care
Many entrepreneurs fail to care for themselves. As a result, the accumulated stress and fatigue end up affecting their emotional state. In our hustling, super-by society, self-care is very often underrated. Instead of stopping to reflect and observe a pause in order to replenish our mental, emotional, and spiritual. We tend to push, over-exhaust ourselves and in turn be even less effective at what you do.
Get a coach or accountability partner
Entrepreneurship can be a lonely and challenging process. It’s also a very emotional process, as it awakens parts of ourselves that we may have buried for a long time. From dealing with fear to facing emotions ranging from guilt to extreme excitement, there are many emotional pitfalls to the entrepreneurial journey. It’s exactly the reason why it’s so important to find a coach or accountability partner.
These are people who will challenge, motivate and inspire you, especially during those moments when you feel low. They are also those who will help you dig yourself out of the pit of emotional highs and lows that come with any entrepreneurial journeys.
Have a supportive circle
I’ve mentioned earlier that entrepreneurship can be a pretty lonely experience. It’s also one that many around you may not necessarily understand. After all, not everyone has an entrepreneur’s mindset, or understands the demands of creating a business.
This is why it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who can and are willing to support you. It also means that we owe it to ourselves to place some distance between us and those who may not be good for you during this part of your journey.
How do you deal with the emotional side of entrepreneurship?
The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year. They can also be the most stressful, aggravating, and a direct path to financial ruin, in addition to awakening all your past family feuds and your need to hit the gym, but I digress. For many, it can also be a time of grief or nostalgia over far-away family, people they’ve lost, or financially dire situations.
As an immigrant, while it’s a time of joy and family bonding, I’m always reminded of the part of my family that is not with me. The parents, siblings, and dear friends scattered all over the world who don’t get to celebrate with me unless we happen to be in the same geographical area. The loved ones we’re fortunate to see on social media or on Facetime, but can’t hug close. Yet, we still have to find peace with it all…
Sometimes, navigating the highs and lows of the holidays is just a matter of finding peace in the midst of it all. Here are a few ways to create a little more of that, and a lot less of the not-so-good stuff:
Get organized
The holidays are usually a busy time of year. This also means that you will be overwhelmed with so much to do and not enough time to accomplish it all. I used to wait until the last minute to rush and try to get everything done. Something about the adrenaline rush…
Yet, I’ve learnt to actually come prepared and have a plan to tackle the holidays. Whether it’s making a list ahead of time, schedule your shopping activities, or pre-make some meals, find ways to get organized and minimize the stress.
Take care of you
Take some time to unwind and rest over the holidays. Many of us usher in a new year with loads of stress instead of peace and tranquility, simply because we won’t take a break!
As much as we may have a to-do list filled to the brim, it’s ok to stop and observe a pause! This may mean leaving some emails unanswered, skipping social media and not worrying about the house being in tip-top shape. Instead, you will have a chance to recharge your batteries and come back fresher and more energized than ever!
Do something for someone else
I’ve learnt over time that the best way to solve my own problems is to help someone else. There’s something about coming to others’ aid that fills us with peace. At a time when we’re so hurried and stressed out, helping others may just be what we need.
Whether it’s a simple phone call to a relative, volunteering at a local shelter, or offering a total stranger a cup of coffee, try doing something for someone else. Anything.
Let it go!
Do you notice how the holidays can seem to awaken a host of difficult feelings we may have buried inside forever? It may be a sign that it’s time to let go of those challenging emotions and feelings that cost us so much of our peace of mind.
Whether it’s bitterness, resentment, anger or simply confusion, let it go. Opt instead for not having all the answers, and focusing on what makes your soul smile. It’s a win-win.
Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know
As you let go of the internal turmoil that may plague you, also consider forgiving yourself. We don’t often realize how much we hold ourselves hostage to our own expectations as well as those of others. The end result is as debilitating as it is damaging to our peace and progress.
Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know, didn’t do well, or failed at. Turn these into lessons instead, and make peace with where you are on the way to where you’re going.
What will people think? This question has single-handedly stopped many a destiny, aborted many a dream and reduced the lives of most to an existence well below their potential. For the longest time, it was also the crutch I kept leaning on to remain in my comfort zone. Caring about what people think, this disease that’s been passed on from generation to generation, especially among women, has destroyed careers, halted businesses and instilled doubts in the most promising futures. For the longest time, it was also the crutch I kept leaning on to remain in my comfort zone.
I grew up in Senegal, West Africa. Where I come from, you don’t just act how you want to act. You think about others, about the community first. It was that way back in the days because the community came first, before personal interests. As time went by though, this concern for the communal slowly turned into excessive care about appearances. And that’s the way it has become pretty much anywhere around the world, especially with the predominance of social media. It’s all about the way our lives, our work, our families, the arch of your brows or the shine of your highlighting powder, is going to appear to the world. What they’re going to think about you eating lobster on a Thursday night, or jet-setting in St Tropez on your last dime. How many likes or comments you’ll get, as a reflection of your own self-worth and validation.
At the age of social media, rented private jets and made up scenery for Instagram pics, not caring about what people think is close to achieving miracles. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve created countless memes and images around being free to do what we want and living life on our own terms. Yet, we seek approval on these same memes we post day in and day out. So what is one to do, to disentangle oneself from the prison of others’ opinions, without drifting into exile or shunning social media forever?
Cultivate the fierce art of loving yourself
In a world where selfishness is being masked as loving ourselves, we’ve lost the art of real self-love. The ability to unconditionally hold ourselves in high esteem, without doubting our divine worth, assignment and purpose. Instead, we tend to allow the wind of circumstances and events to dictate who we are at any moment.
Stop second-guessing yourself, and start appreciating yourself, even as you make mistakes and are not as successful as you think you should be. Let your sense of worth dictate how you allow others to treat you, and the path you take in this life. And don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.
Practice going against the grain
Care is a muscle. The more you exert pressure on it, the stronger it will be. Practice going against others’ opinions to strengthen your resolve to stop caring about what people think. This is not about disagreeing with everyone about everything, but rather having the courage of your own convictions in a world that constantly demands that you conform.
Be your own person. Stand alone if you have to. Let go of the need to say yes, the urge to please and agree with others so you can be accepted. The more you have to seek acceptance within yourself, the more likely you will stop caring what people think of you.
Spend time alone
The noise of other people’s opinions very often clouds our judgment. Energy is contagious, so are behaviors and opinions. By removing yourself from the noise around, it’s easier to make space for your own opinions and convictions.
Don’t be afraid to spend time alone. If anything, welcome it as an opportunity to explore your innermost thoughts and desires. The more grounded you get in who you truly are, the less likely it will be for you to succumb to others’ opinions.
Detach yourself from the need to be liked
I used to have what I’d call the “disease to please”, this urge to be appreciated by everyone around me. In turn, I would jump through hoops and desperately try to cater to the needs, desires and whims of people around. While it wouldn’t make me happy, I’d still do it for the fleeting comfort of being liked.
Not everyone has to like you. As a matter of fact, many, if not most people, you meet, may not like you at all. And that’s ok. You have neither the time, nor the energy to cater to a gazillion friendships and other relationships. Take it as a blessing, which frees you up to build strong relationships with those who are meant to be in your life.
Open yourself up to criticism
Unless you’re ready to be talked about and criticized, you’re not ready to be successful. What stands in the way of many people who can’t seem to achieve the success they crave is their refusal to be criticized. Unless you do absolutely nothing, you will be talked about, most of the time in rather unflattering terms. Which also means that you’re doing something that’s making people talk.
Don’t fear criticism. As a matter of fact, you should welcome and celebrate it as a sign that you’re making a difference. Keep in mind that not all criticism is negative. Learn from some of the most constructive remarks you get along the way, and use them as tools to continuously improve.
Learn to master your emotions
The more you tend to care about what other people think, the more you maybe tempted to react emotionally in response. Having control over your emotions allows you to step away from the pressure of others’ opinions, and be able to look at yourself in a more objective way.
Understand that while your emotions are valid, they’re also fleeting. Emotions may be great indicators of where we stand at the moment, but they shouldn’t be trusted to be acted upon. Practice distancing yourself from your emotions, and not reacting to them, while still allowing yourself to feel.
Be compassionate
Last but not least, having compassion for others is a great way not to feel threatened by their opinions about you. Understanding that most people don’t even like or appreciate themselves, and as such are incapable of liking you, helps put some perspective in this. Everyone is faced with their own journey, and has to tackle many a challenge to get there.
Be compassionate with the people who may judge you. They’re probably also judging themselves. What people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
What other tips do you have to stop caring about what people think about you?
