by Solange Lopes | Sep 18, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
I was finally able to shed my working mom, “go-to-bed at 9pm sharp” second skin to watch the Emmys this year. And boy was it worth it… In-between laughing at Jimmy Kimmel’s Trump jokes and distribution of peanut-better-and-jelly-sandwiches, and gasping for air at how very pregnant Kerry Washington got that non-pregnancy dress “handled” on the red carpet, I didn’t need the hubby’s usual elbow kicks to stay up…
At least long enough to have my very own “working-mom- staying-way-past-her-bedtime’s” very own Emmys highlights:
But really, before I even start rambling, how can Jimmy Kimmel keep a straight face?
Like, really, how? How do you walk around an entire room of celebrities, passing out juice boxes and PB&J sandwiches, and openly blame one of “The Apprentice” creators, Mark Burnett, for putting Trump on the TV map, without at least blushing? Beyond me…
Could Kerry Washington have handled it any better?
I mean, all of it, including the impeccable hair, the flawless complexion, and that impeccable belly perfectly fitted into that non-pregnancy dress I couldn’t even wear not being pregnant (minus the last annoying resilient five pounds from each pregnancy). Although I’m mourning the temporary absence of Scandal this season, that dress and adorable non-preggers look has me forgetting and forgiving…
Regina King won. And I just want to be her when I grow up…
Watching Regina King go up the stairs to the Emmys stage in that vision of a red gown, plus the happily stunned look on her face, priceless. She won best supporting actress in a limited series or movie for “American Crime“. So very proud to see a Black woman win, twice in a row, and spread some hopeful glitter for women everywhere…
Julia Louis-Dreyfus made me laugh and smile all at once…
Despite losing her dad two days before, Julia Louis-Dreyfus still managed to accept her seventh Emmy award (this one for outstanding lead actress in a comedy series) while making us laugh. As she apologized for the current political climate, she confirmed that the political satire show Veep (for which she received this Emmy) is actually more of a “sobering documentary” than the current politics we’re witnessing…
C0urtney B. Vance’s Emmys Love Letter raised a whole new bar for hubbies everywhere.
Unless you’re going to call me the “woman who rocks your chain” at the next Emmys, you’re in for a whole lot of shoes and purses…Just sayin’…So Courtney B. Vance, husbands everywhere are officially in serious trouble because of you…
Viola Davis and Julius Tennon take pink to a whole ‘nother level…
Victoria’s Secret PINK models ain’t got nothing on one of my fave actresses (and the first African-American actress to win the Emmy’s Best Lead Actress) and fellow Rhode Islander, Viola Davis and her hubby Julius Tennon. That pink bow-tie on Julius perfectly complemented Viola’s stunning dress. It takes a strong man to rock a pink bow-tie, and if Viola Davis were at your arm, wouldn’t you? But it’s all good, we’re all getting ready for How to Get Away with Murder next week anyhow…
Protect Leslie Jones, people!
Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones had me half-laughing, half-nodding, as she joked about her Twitter account hack. She went on stage with the accountants, and urged them to drop the protection of Emmy secrets, in favor of her own Twitter account which got hacked earlier this year. In between laughs, we’re reminded that Leslie Jones is not just a talented and hilarious actress, but also a beautiful sister…
And last but not least, where is Maggie Smith?
If anyone sees Downton Abbey‘s Maggie Smith, please tell her to retrieve her Emmy in the Emmys’ Lost & Found. In his opening monologue, Jimmy Kimmel threatened the perennial winner with taking back all her awards if she doesn’t personally show up to get them. So no surprise there when he came in person to grab her Emmy this year and send her a specific message to report to the Emmys’ Lost & Found…
It’s been real, but this working mom’s got to limit this late-night damage. Neither my kids nor my day job will be very forgiving in the morning…I hope by next year Emmys, there will be coffee strong enough to keep me going…
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 15, 2016 | Career
Dear TGIF Addict:
You know who you are. The one who wakes up with a renewed sense of energy on Friday mornings, wishing TGIF to everyone around as if Christmas came early. The one looking forward to Friday as soon as Sunday night rolls around…
You live for Fridays and have no shame to your career game. You endure work, grit your teeth through emails and meetings, and face your to-do list with fervent prayers.
But it’s not always been this way. There was a time you looked forward to building a successful career. When you showed up early to the office, spoke up in meetings, and was brimming with all kinds of fresh ideas.
Then Life happened, with its mix of circumstances, bad bosses, great kids, pregnancies, deferred dreams, and other disruptive, albeit normal things. Maybe even somewhere in the middle of it all, you remembered your first passion and set out to hustle on the side towards it. Or you figured out the cubicle lifestyle was never for you.
Whatever it was, at some point or another, you started wishing your career away. Watching precious time pass by as you waitedfor Friday. Squandering precious talent as you dreamt of 5pm.
This is your wake-up call from the Universe! And this one ain’t got no snooze button. Stop wishing your career away! You have way too much talent, way too precious of a unique perspective, to bury it under some random cubicle desk as you wait for 5pm, for next Friday, for the winning Powerball numbers…
Find work that stimulates and grows you. And if you can’t find it right away, (side) hustle your way towards it. Whatever you choose to do, honor that part of you that’s still striving, vibrant and becoming!
Yes, bills have to get paid, shoes bought and (some shred of) sanity saved. But if that’s costing you ( and the rest of us) your precious impact to this world, you may want to reconsider that cable channel package or Louboutin sale.
However you choose to do it, refuse to lose your enthusiasm, give up your spunk and finish the (last) bag of Doritos while you wait for Friday…
Sincerely,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 7, 2016 | Career
After working as a news co-anchor on Baltimore WJZ-TV, Oprah was demoted to a lower position on morning TV. Years later, she went on to dominate daytime TV for all of 25 years, and now has her own network. After failing to make the 1968 Olympic Skating figure, Vera Wang became a senior fashion editor at Vogue where she was passed over for the editor-in-chief position after 15 years. Harry Potter’s author J. K. Rowling faced 12 rejections before selling the book for only $4,000.
You may have read these success stories of women who’ve turned failure into success. Yet, the part we don’t often see is that these very women were also, at one point in their career, “stuck”. That like the rest of us who sometimes don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, as we’re faced with rejection, or simply as we’re coasting through our careers.
One of my mentors once told me that you can approach everything as it’s an opportunity, or as if opportunity is nowhere. It changed my way of thinking, especially about my own life and career.
As uncomfortable and discouraging as it may be, a career rut can synonymous with an opportunity to reposition ourselves. If you consider that it can be the gateway to a transformation in your career, then you can gain the patience, insight and determination to turn it into success.
You may be reading this wondering what kind of woo-woo ideology this is. Especially when it comes to work. Yet, there are many instances in my own career when I was “stuck”, when this simple principle helped me place whatever situation I was in a better, more productive context.
Here are three ways you can literally trick your mind to get out of a career rut:
Own your failures
Sara Blakely, the billionaire inventor of Spanx, says her father used to ask her and her brother to recount their failures at the end of each day. This, she says, has taught her the invaluable asset that failure is.
Instead of seeing failure as an insurmountable obstacle in your career and life, own them instead. Recognize where you’ve fallen short, so you can address your weaknesses and leverage them
Learn from failing
Redefine failure in a new way, by learning from what didn’t go so well. Use these failures to re-define your career by pivoting where needed. Where can you adjust your performance to reach your goals better? How can you improve your results by targeting exactly those areas where you fell short.
As awkward as it may be, keeping a record of your failures or shortcomings at work can help you develop a winning strategy. For instance, I used to collect all the review notes I’d get from my managers to create a list of areas where I needed to pay special attention, and what I exactly needed to do in each area. End result: guaranteed progress!
Take simple steps to transform your career
Do something each day to transform your career, especially when you’re hitting a career rut. It could be as simple as keeping a “Not to do” list to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Or identifying those very things that make you feel like you’re in a career rut, and pivoting from where you are to get closer to where you want to be.
Do you use this mindset tip to break out of a career rut?
PS: Want to read more about reaching your career? Join our “Recharge Your Career” Month challenge.
To Your Career Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 2, 2016 | Career
This is our weekly career and lifestyle news update, where we round up exciting news of the last week and we let you have it…ahem, news-wise that is…
Think of it as your career gossiping section on steroids…
And while you’re at it, follow us on Facebook, Twitter,IG, and Pinterest!
Here we go…
- Getting out in the morning on time, especially now with all the “back-to-school” buzz? Levo has some great tips;
- Want to leave work at a reasonable time? This free tool might just be what you need…
- Women are know for their “soft skills” at work. Ellevate Network confirms how valuable they are for your career;
- Ready to start your business? Black Enterprise offers 5 tips to become a master mompreneur;
- Ready to quit that job you absolutely hate? The Muse lists 2 things you must do before pulling the plug;
- Are you a first-time entrepreneur? Here are 4 things Forbes says you should know about;
- Going for an interview? Here is exactly what not to do;
- Like Etsy? Corporette lists 7 fabulous Etsy shops featuring great workwear;
- H&M wants your innovative green ideas...oh, and did we mention there’s $1 million for grabs?
- Last but not least, here are 5 tips to transition your work wardrobe from Summer to Fall.
PS: Ellevate Network, a great place for career women to network, is running a 20% promo on their membership! Take advantage!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 1, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Today my youngest (and probably last baby, did I say probably?) starts school. And even as the hardcore independent career woman and feminist I consider myself to be, it feels weird, to say the least.
As I dropped him off to his last day at daycare yesterday, my heart sank a little. I sat outside in my car for a minute, unable to turn the wheel and back up to drive towards work. I could relive the very day I dropped each one of my babies to daycare for the first time, to start on their journey towards independence. And to continue mine towards making peace with semi-constant worry and mommy guilt, even in the midst of so much joy and anticipation…
You think you’ve made peace with a lot of emotions as your kids grow, and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of new beginnings all over again. As they pack their first backpack, say good-bye to go to class, get their first report card…
Even though there’s still quite some ways for women to go in today’s world, we’re able to make so many choices in our lives. Choices to go after our own careers and dreams, pick our partners, live more of the lives we choose…Yet as you become a parent, most of these choices start being influenced in some way or another by the huge joy and responsibility to raise children.
In her masterpiece “The Awakened Family“, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Shefali Tsabary tells us that “many of us are unable to [raise children who are highly resilient and emotionally connected] because we are blinded by modern misconceptions of parenting and our own inner limitations”. The part of Dr. Tsabary’s message that struck me the most as I was watching her on Oprah’s Soul Sunday is that we must develop ourselves in order to help develop our children into the people they’re meant to be. Which also means that not only is it ok for us to go after our dreams and reach our higher selves, it also tremendously serves our children.
So we can turn all that mommy guilt as we drop off the kids to daycare or school, miss some milestones because we’re at work, or miss work because we’re taking in our childrens’ milestones, into the fire that propels us further and further in our lives and careers:
Their milestones are proof we’re growing too!
Now that I’m done crying behind my glasses after dropping off the little one to Pre-K, I can take a minute to stop and consider how much I’ve also grown as a parent and a woman. What we don’t often realize as parents is that many a times, our children help us grow more than we actually help them!
After raving about how my babies are growing too fast, it occurred to me that each one of their milestones has helped me develop as a person. That just having them inspires us to stretch and reach more of our potential. That every time they take a step, start school, get a great grade, or get bruised somehow by life, we learn something new by teaching them things we never even knew we knew.
Make the kids part of your growth!
For most of us, having kids changes our lives. For some, it can send our careers down the abyss, as this 2015 Women in the Workplace study reveals that “motherhood triggers assumptions that women are less competent and less committed to their careers”.
For others, it can mean renewed focus, energy and success. A research commissioned by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis has demonstrated that parents tend to be more productive. More parents develop skills and traits that make them better employees, while it’s noted that some parents are more ambitious after kids.
I’ve found that making the kids part of our growth as individuals, is a huge motivator to turn all the mommy guilt we may experience into more fuel for our fire. Over time, I’ve learnt to talk more to my babies about work, responsibility and learning as I experience it. To share with them more of my experiences, and let go of the guilt of not always being there in favor of the energy of shared growth…
It’s OK to let go!
This one is a “toughie”! Letting go is hard (I’m a Cancerian after all, we cling hard!). And letting go of the little human beings we’ve helped bring into this world, changed poopy diapers, and dropped off for their first day at school, is on a whole other “hard scale”…
I’ve clung to my own brand of career mommy guilt for as long as I could, until realizing it’s letting go that ultimately allows us to be more present. That it’s ok to show our kids that chasing your dreams is a part of life. That to be fully present, we must be filled with as much of our own fire as we can muster…
So here’s to my last baby going to school, to dropping (some of) that heavy mommy guilt, and instead turning it into more of that internal fire that makes us go over and beyond…
How are your turning your Mommy guilt into Mommy Fire?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
