by Solange Lopes | Dec 28, 2016 | Career
You know that lull between Christmas and New Year, when you don’t exactly know who you are, where you are, or what your name really is? Yes, that time after all the holiday shopping, eggnog drinking, and gift paper tearing…
You may be back in the office, staring blankly at your computer screen, wondering what your purpose in life really is. Or hitting the stores to return that ugly sweater your great-aunt gave you (again) this year (bless her heart)…
Whatever you may be doing during this awkward time between Christmas and the New Year, there’s always that weird sense that you’re stuck between old and new. Between deja vu and what’s to come…
But other than eating your fill of leftover desserts and contemplating your future fit self next year, there are a few things you can actually do for your career:
Reflect on your career wins and losses.
These few days are a great opportunity to put your reflecting cap on and just think for a minute about the career year you’ve just had. Yes, even if using your brain is the last thing you want to do right now…
What wins have you scored this year? How did your career advance? But also, what losses did you have to face? Where did you mess up this year?
Or just chunk it out…
Does thinking of your career wins and losses feel like sugar-free coffee right now? Then just skip the whole reality check episode, and break the year down.
Look at different areas of your life, whether it’s career, family, business, learning, etc, and evaluate them separately. End result: you avoid being overwhelmed, and get to have some perspective too!
Give yourself a pat on the back!
You’ve made it through the year at work, so celebrate your wins, however small they may be! You may have scored a promotion, or finished a project, or even been nominated for an award, so pop the cookie jar and acknowledge yourself for once…
Even if nothing special happened, you completed a whole year of assignments, meetings and traffic jams…Give yourself a high-five!
Skip the resolutions!
You know what’s most depressing about resolutions? It’s the whole process of making them, knowing you’ll be breaking them shortly…
So this year, do yourself a favor and skip the painful career resolutions….
Instead, set desires!
If you haven’t read Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map yet, you need to to get your own copy! In this brilliant book, she explains how aligning our life with our true desires is the key to feeling fulfilled…
And who doesn’t want to feel fulfilled, right? So grab a glass of bubbly and start jotting down those desires, and use them to direct your career decisions…
Do the doodle thing…
Did I mention ditching the to-do list already? Instead, grab the kids’ crayons and start doodling…
Draw, jot down thoughts, doodle, let your creativity spring up without trying to edit or make anything perfect. According to Jayne Morris, author of “Burnout to brilliance: Strategies for Sustainable Success“, this works particularly well as “your creative brain transcends your logical mind.”
Use this time to map out the next year using a mind map. Just draw a circle representing yourself in the middle, with lines coming out of the circle for each major area of your life (family, friends, work, etc). Add some keywords representing what you want for next year, and voila!
Breathe!
Whether you have time off from work or not, make sure to take some time for yourself. It could be simply scheduling a massage, or even spending some quiet time meditating.
Whatever you do, just set aside some time to get quiet and do a mini mental retreat.
How are you using the time between Christmas and New Year?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 26, 2016 | Find Your Purpose |
As I write this post, we’re a few days away from 2017, and for so many of us, that means reflecting back on the past year. I have to say, 2016 has been quite the year, from everything that’s happened around, to the many lessons I’ve personally learnt this year. As they say, it’s been the best of times, it’s been the worst of times…But overall, it’s been a great teacher, and a time many of us may look back on with a tingle in our throat, a pep in our step, and a bit of wisdom in our back pockets…
Among the many lessons of 2016, here are the 7 that marked me the most, and that I’m packing up with me as I move into the New Year:
Hello Again History, You’re Back Already!
via GIPHY
You know that teacher from middle school you never quite forgot, who made you practice your homework mistakes over and over again until every single one of your dreams was filled with scribbled pages? Yeah, that one…
Well, that’s history for you, and every year, it kinda makes you scribble the same lessons you failed to learn over time . Or brings you new ones to grapple with, as you continuously figure out how to handle this thing called Life.
One of the most polarizing elections in my lifetime took place in the US this year, in the midst of social upheaval, police violence and world instability. Tensions and issues reminiscent of times most of us would want to forget about have been sprouting everywhere. I mean, it’s becoming seriously painful to watch or read the news…
From Brexit back in June to the 2016 US elections, the backlash between police and civilians, the loss of iconic figures like Mohamed Ali, Gwen Ifill, Prince, David Bowie and most recently George Michael (who can forget “Faith”), there’s been quite the onslaught of bad news.
But there’s also been quite the onslaught of lessons from History, among which:
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When good people stay silent, good things easily get bad, and bad things even worse;
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History tends to repeat itself when we fail to learn the lesson;
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That just talking about things only starts the process of Change, doing something about them really effects real change.
Speaking of which…
Change Starts With Me…
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Ok, I must admit, I can easily get on the “Poor Me” bandwagon…With the whole tissue, romantic movies and glass of wine setup on a rainy Friday night…Except while it can be particularly effective at cleaning your lenses and giving you your fill of self-pity for the month, it doesn’t exactly get you a pay raise or help you lose those last five pounds…
In the midst of picking up my face off the floor in life and business this year (and others too), I’m finally getting to stick to my forehead the fact that change, real change, starts with me. As in getting up an hour or two earlier to follow my dreams, instead of crying over the same 24 hours Beyonce uses to run the world…
Or keeping consistent with my daily meditation and gratitude practice to actually see results in my reality…
Or controlling my reactions to what happens to me, instead of letting myself drown in my own schedule…
I mean, just doing something, anything in the right direction…
If YouDon’t Know What You Want, You’re Probably Not Going to Get it!
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People tend to respond well to people who know what they want. Well, I kinda like to have my options…
I like being able to buy the shoe, eat the dessert, and have my cake wine with it too! Thirty-something years later, I’m learning to let go of all the “all-in-one ” package and instead focus on what I really desire. Like, really know it, with the same certainty I’m fighting my premature laugh lines and occasional facial hair…
I mean, who likes tough choices? Don’t we want it all after all? But it’s not so much that we can’t have it all, as we fail to understand that having some also means losing some.
And that once you make up your mind to be your own best self, to live your own best life in the most authentic way (and actually work towards it), you’re most likely going to get it! The only thing is knowing it, going for it, and kinda letting everything else be what it will be…
Check Your Circle, Or Your Circle Will Check You!
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Success is a whole, and that includes your relationships too…As in your girl squad, your family, basically everyone you surround yourself with. You might think that your life and dreams are totally separate from your girl drama, but the reality is, they’re directly linked…
This year, many of my personal relationships have gone through upheavals and changes. The more I tried, the more upheavals and changes happened. And the more I listened to great influencers and entrepreneurs, the likes of Oprah and Lisa Nichols, the more I realized how profoundly affected we are by people around us.
That we can’t take everyone with us on our path…That we must make room for those who support us, “get” us, help us get better…And that sometimes that means letting go of those who are not good for us, wishing them well and keep moving forward…
And speaking of change…
Growth Hurts!
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Listen, my body kinda stopped growing a while back…And throughout it, I didn’t really notice how much the whole growth process can really hurt. How much every time you decide to get a little better, it’s going to require something a little less comfortable, a little less easy, and many times, a whole lot more painful…
Like resisting the temptation to throw your alarm clock against the wall when it rings at 4am to remind you to go chase your dreams…
Or when you have to pick the friends who help you grow and let go of those who don’t…
Or when you have to keep doing your own thing when the rest of the world’s screaming at you to give up and be normal…
Or when you’ve messed up so bad and have to eat your pride for breakfast and fix it…
That’s growth, and most of the time, at least before you see any results, it seriously sucks…
Growth comes with change, and one of the ways change manifests itself is through opposition and unpleasant stuff…But when it hurts and you don’t really understand what’s happening, it probably means you’re growing…
Your Mind is Your Greatest Asset!
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I believe a lot of things to be amazing assets in our lives….Like hard work, and credentials, and weather-proof 12-hour foundation…But this year, I’ve also learnt the amazing power of our minds and thoughts.
You know what they say, that what you think creates your reality. That you can set your mind to do anything. I mean, it’s printed on cute Starbucks cups, and you hear the likes of Oprah, the Dalai Lama and your local pastor say it all the time…Except all of this mind goodness stuff seems to happen to them, the Oprahs and Dalai Lamas of this world, and not exactly to the rest of us all the time…
So this year finally I decided to give it a serious try…As in actually getting up fifteen minutes earlier, and getting quiet before the rest of the world awakens and starts asking you for juice and bread with Nutella…
As in making my own vision board, after reading from just about everyone else who did the same thing…
Or writing down five to 10 things every day I’m actually grateful for (even when I wake up cursing against whoever invented alarm clocks/work/time).
For once, I just shut off my mind and did it, one simple thing at a time…One morning after the other, one picture on my vision board after the other, one gratitude page after another…
And I noticed the weirdest thing, a shift, mental at first, then events, people and circumstances starting to align. And then I’d stop, and the shift would stop or even reverse itself…and then I’d start again and watch things align themselves all over again.
Whoever said your mind isn’t incredibly powerful?
Not Quitting Is Winning!
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Ok, patience is not my strong suit…And frankly, sometimes, it’s just easier to quit, throw up your hands, and just move on to the next thing…Except this whole “adulting” thing doesn’t exactly reward you for giving up…
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you owe it to yourself to quit. Like when your sanity’s at stake, or your motives are clearly wrong. But there are times, and those are the most important, when the real victory is in not quitting. In keepin’ on keepin’ on, even when it seems absolutely nothing, nada, ziltsch, is happening…
2016 taught me just that…To just keep on keepin’ on, to push through, to show up, even when the sh…hits the fan and nothing looks right. To keep creating, building and writing when you hear crickets. To keep learning when you thought you were done with that chapter of your life. To keep showing up when all you want is crawl back under the covers…
So yes, 2016, it’s been real. Sometimes, a bit too real…But all in all, it’s been the best of times, and it’s been the worst of times…
What have you learnt in 2016?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 23, 2016 | Career
This is our weekly career and lifestyle news roundup, where we round up exciting news of the last week and we let you have it…ahem, news-wise that is…
Think of it as your career gossiping section on steroids…
And while you’re at it, follow us on Facebook, Twitter,IG, and Pinterest!
Here we go…
- Making career resolutions this year? Forbes Woman mentions this one career resolution to make in 2017;
- Is 2017 your year to go from Corporate to entrepreneurship? Ellevate Network suggests 5 tips to make a successful transition;
- Want to jumpstart your career in 2017? Forbes lists the best 15 websites to consult now;
- Fast Company lists the 10 best business books of 2016;
- Looking for a new job in the new year? Recruiter suggests you follow these three simple, but powerful, steps;
- Career resolutions this upcoming year? Ellevate Network lists 12 you should keep;
- Worried about uncomfortable conversations this holiday season? Business Insider has a few tips to avoid them;
- Starbucks fans alert! Refinery29 reveals my fave coffee chain is giving away free coffee for the next 10 days!;
- Planning for New Year’s Eve? Serious Eats lists 19 sparkling cocktail recipes for the festivities;
- Check out one of my articles featured on Ellevate Network and the HuffPost!
Happy Holidays!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 20, 2016 | Career
“Yay, it’s time for my performance review”, said no one ever.
Regardless, it’s about that time of year, when you sit down with your manager and hash out your contributions to the team/department/company, results, and upcoming goals. Yup, it’s performance review time! And whether you love your job or have to drag yourself out of bed every morning, you still kinda have to go through it in most companies.
As fun (not) as it may be for you, it’s generally not all that great for your manager either. Generally-speaking, the whole process can be seriously awkward for both parties (in addition to upping your chocolate consumption for the period). As much as more companies are ditching the whole performance review thing, most are still doing it, which means you’re still on the hook here.
Which also means you may have to seriously consider preparing for it. Hence these 7 slightly unconventional steps to prepping yourself for a stellar performance review (even if you’d rather get a root canal than sitting on the other side of the table):
Dig Out Your (Interview) Prep Toolkit !
In many ways, a performance review is like a job interview. Except in this case, you already have a job, and you’re trying to keep it, upgrade it, or move it in a new direction. Either way, every time you sit at one end of the performance review table, your job’s future is on the line.
Which also means you have to prep for the conversation like a pro!
Put yourself back in interview prep mode, and go back to the same type of resources you’d consult for an upcoming interview. This means digging out your company manual and getting a quick refresher on the organization’s internal practices when it comes to reviews. Check that you’re using the right self-evaluation templates and following the guidelines as closely as possible. And don’t forget to look the part too! You want to project a confident image, so dress accordingly. You can skip out on the interview suit this time, but don’t show up in your casual Friday jeans either!
Also, read up on the department’s and company’s recent events and performance. This will help you place your own performance in the context of what’s happening around (in addition to making you appear extra committed and motivated).
Prep Your Elevator Pitch!
Elevator pitches are not just for networking events or when you run into the company’s CEO in the elevator (literally). Believe it or not, your elevator pitch also comes in handy during your performance review. Reiterating what you’re good at, and what makes you unique as a contributor in your team, department and in the company at large, is KEY!
Read more on how to craft an unforgettable elevator pitch!
Get Comfortable with the Spotlight
One of the most challenging obstacles faced by many women (and men) at performance review time is being comfortable with talking about themselves. You know that cringing feeling you get when you hear the sound of your own voice being replayed? Yes, something kinda like that…
So what we usually do is shrink back and miss out on telling the world (in this case your manager) why we’re so awesome (which we are!)…Instead of outlining our strong points and qualities (as well as recognizing our shortcomings) and letting ourselves be ourselves in the spotlight…
Still hesitating? Give yourself the pep talk, like “girl, you did a great job producing that report”. Or sharing this insight at the meeting, or training your new colleague. Start by writing down your accomplishments, and practice saying them out loud.
Be Your Own Devil’s Advocate
So there’s that part about any performance review that’s about what you’re not exactly doing right…Or the stuff you could improve. Or that time you dropped the ball.
And that’s absolutely normal. Any review has to balance out the “good” and the ” not so good”. Except no one really wants to hear about what they’re not doing so well…
Prepare yourself ahead of time by being your own devil’s advocate. Honestly asses s the times when you may have missed something, overlooked details or simply messed up. The trick here is to present these not as big mishaps, but as learning opportunities to strengthen your performance in the future.
Instead of saying “I totally ruined this report”, say: “this experience with this particular project has taught me to pay attention to accurate report writing in the future.”
Focus on the Positive
A key to a successful performance review process is to keep it positive. No need to dwell on that terrible email you sent to the wrong person, or how annoyed you were at not getting a raise the last three years in a row.
Not sure you can keep spinning on your positive side? Then ask yourself the question: “What did/could I learn from this?”
Every time you look for the lesson, something positive comes out. So when you run out of positive energy, pop the question in your head.
Make Peace with the Outcome
The last thing you want to do is go in to your performance review meeting with big expectations and come out disappointed. So mentally make peace with the outcome, whatever it may be, before even stepping in the room.
Focus on what you can control, i.e. your attitude, how you present your accomplishments and shortcomings, as well as your plans for the future. As for the rest, it’s out of your control…
Prepare to Follow Up
One of the most powerful things you can do after a performance review is follow up. Even more powerful, prepare ahead yourself to follow up …
As part of your performance review prep, include some questions to ask your manager about how you can most effectively follow up with him/her.
What other steps do you follow to prepare for your performance review?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 19, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Dove Love Your Hair Campaign
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dove™.
Throughout this campaign, I continue my own conversation as a mom with my daughter on being positive about her hair. Dove™is on a mission to empower moms to be leaders in their daughter’s hair confidence journey by teaching them to love their own. Dove Hair will be hosting a website where people can personalize their mother/daughter photo with creative text and images for sharing on their social networks.
The first time my baby girl came to me and asked me why she had “puffy” hair and not long, straight hair like her friend Jaliah, I didn’t know what to answer. I hadn’t planned on being asked that question so soon, she was only six years old…But she could already tell in her little beautiful mind, that the world could be different depending on whether your hair was “puffy” or pin straight…
In the next few minutes, I pondered all kinds of answers I could give her. Or how I could possibly change the topic and make her forget about it all…Then I remembered how important my own hair journey, as a Black African woman, had been, and in many respects, still was.
From those evenings back in the day when my mother would heat up the hot comb on the stove and mistakenly burn the edges of my ears trying to straighten my curly hair. To those day-long appointments at the local hair salon, waiting in line to get my hair relaxed, straightened and flat-ironed to achieve that coveted pin-straight look. To finally, that fateful day when, three months pregnant with my second baby, I left a crowded hair salon and gave up on ever trying to change the texture of my hair again. In between these, I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl with coarse, wildly curly hair, and if I wanted her to be true to the reflection she saw in the mirror, I had to be true to my own reflection…
What is beautiful hair? That’s the question so many women and young girls ask themselves daily. And that ‘s the question society has been trying to impose answers to women for so long…Dove™found that 8 in 10 women feel pressured to wear their hair a certain way. Yet, 82% of girls learn about caring for themselves from their mothers.Which also means that, as moms, we can help make a difference. We can show our daughters to love their hair, love themselves, and feel confident about the true, authentic image they project to the world…
There’s something about letting go of the need to look a certain way that replaces the need to be accepted, with the simple reality of accepting yourself. As is. Although the start of my natural transition was a bit like jumping off a cliff without a parachute, not knowing what to do with this newfound hair freedom that threatened to hijack everything I knew about society’s norms and my own, it was also a great exercise in self-discovery…
I quickly discovered that wearing my own hair curly, wild and free made me feel at home, like my best self. Those rebellious waves coming to the surface felt like a comfortable pair of slippers I had never taken off. So when I saw the same rebellious, stubborn waves popping on my baby’s full head of “puffy”, wild hair, I felt home. And I wanted her to feel home in her own hair too…Home in her own wild kinks and coils and curls. Home in who she was and was to become…I wanted her to learn the simple truths that it took me a few decades to learn, the ease to be home in your own hair…
So when that day she asked me about her “puffy” hair, and I didn’t know what to answer at first, I simply took a deep breath and remembered. I remembered why I decided to feel at home in my own hair. And how she walked me home without even knowing it…And I decided to tell her, that day and every day after that, whether she asks or not…
I’m still deciding, day after day, to tell her how beautiful her kinks and coils and crazy curls are. How she inspired me to love my own kinks and coils, just because of who she was. And how we’re all beautiful in our own, special, unique, free way…And that’s why I’m so excited to be part of the Dove™Love Your Hair campaign, to share my journey and tell my baby why I care with this custom Dove™animated message.
That’s why I encourage myself as a mom, and I’m encouraging you as a mom as well, to start, continue, deepen the conversation with your daughter(s) about their own hair. To instill in them the confidence we sometimes find so hard to instill in ourselves. And to have fun in the process…
Tell her why you love her hair. Make it a memorable experience by going to the Dove™ website HERE, and creating your own Dove™ Love Your Hair animated message with your baby.
How are you encouraging your daughter to love her own hair and be confident in who she is?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dove™.
