by Solange Lopes | Feb 6, 2018 | Career |
You know that feeling that overtakes you every time you’re getting close to achieving a goal or objective? That sudden need to procrastinate, the urge to collect all possible negative thoughts about yourself and whatever project you’re working on at the moment? These are all signs that you’re about to sabotage yourself.
Many, if not most of our goals in life, career or business, get unfinished because we tend to sabotage ourselves in the process. We may set the most effective, realistic and functional goals, and still come up short. This is not for lack of skill, motivation or even aptitude. It’s simply because of self-destructive behaviors that keep us from taking action towards our goals and dreams.
I’ve struggled with procrastination quite a bit because I couldn’t recognize the self-sabotage behind my sudden drops in motivation and drive. It took me a while to recognize that one of the hardest battles I would have to wage would be against my own self, to stop destroying my own efforts. For many of us, it stems from a fear to succeed, which is often stronger than the fear of failure.
Here are a few ways to cut to the chase and stop sabotaging yourself in life and at work:
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START with understanding your self-sabotage patterns
Everyone has different patterns in life and at work. Often, we fail to recognize when we’re self-sabotaging, because it feels comfortable and routine to do so. For most of us, there are specific areas in which we often unconsciously ruin our own efforts.
Review the different areas of your life and work, and start identifying the ones in which you’re practicing self-sabotage. It may be in your finances, career, relationships or health. The fact that you’re sabotaging yourself in any of these areas means that you may be struggling with some form of anger, shame, or sense of not being worthy enough.
Interestingly enough, as much as I love writing, I realized that the fear of failure would paralyze my writing efforts and make me less productive. It became clear that I was scared of being rejected, or looking ridicule because of my writing. It was only when I could face this truth about myself that I was able to fight my negative patterns and progress in my writing.
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STOP delaying
One of the most prevalent effects of self-sabotage is constant delaying. You may find that you put off tasks to the next day, and let negative thoughts paralyze you into inaction. For instance, procrastinating before an important meeting, or leaving a crucial assignment to the last minute, is a clear sign of self-sabotage.
Instead, consider tackling your to-do’s as soon as you can, instead of postponing them to a later time. The more you impose this to yourself, despite the negative thoughts and patterns you may be subject to, the more you will fight your tendency to self-sabotage.
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START facing your feelings
For many of us, facing the feelings of unworthiness, shame or anger that lead us to self-sabotage is a no-no. Instead, we tend to suppress them, pretending they don’t exist. As a result, our negative and self-destructing behaviors continue, ruining our best efforts in the process.
It takes a lot of courage to admit to oneself our fears and failures. However, it’s the only way to address them and fight them successfully. I had to admit to myself, and others around me, that I was afraid to be ridiculed because of my love for writing, or for being an introvert. Yet, the minute I could face these fears, I was free to recognize and address these demons. Once you know your areas of improvement, no one can hold them against you.
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STOP dwelling on the past
So many of us are still prisoners of our past, especially when we feel like we’ve failed or haven’t measured up to some ideal we had for ourselves. Instead of focusing on the present, we stay in “If only” land, playing and replaying failed scenarios.
You can’t start over with a clean slate if you keep replaying the past. You have to be able to move on, and make peace with whatever has happened. A great trick is to write yourself a letter in which you forgive yourself for any and everything you’re still holding against yourself, or others. And move on, once and for all..
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START journaling
Journaling is a powerful way to spot those instances when your mind start bullying you and you fall into the self-sabotage trap. I find that expressing my thoughts in a free and unrestrained way, allows me to free myself of the mental and emotional baggage we all carry.
Just remember there are no rules to journaling. You can write freely and express yourself unabashedly. While it may be intimidating at first, it will help you release some of the negative thoughts and emotions you may be feeling. You’ll start seeing more clearly where your blocks are, so you can address them better.
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STOP comparing yourself to others
Comparison is really the thief of joy. It’s also one of the biggest ways in which we sabotage ourselves. Instead of being motivated to do better, we tend to feel unworthy or inadequate. By comparing, you limit your own beauty, effectiveness and potential.
Identify those areas in which you tend to compare yourself with others, and face them head on. If social media or certain relationships trigger you to compare yourself to others and feel less than, consider distancing yourself from them. Focus on YOU and the unique gifts and abilities YOU have been given.
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START speaking kindly to yourself
Faith comes by hearing. It also means that what you say to yourself, you tend to believe. Start speaking more kindly to yourself, and honoring the positive about you, instead of emphasizing the negative.
Start observing how you talk to yourself, whether through your own mental chatter or through the words you use about yourself. You’ll start noticing how unloving you can be towards yourself. We all are. Begin to consciously turn negative thoughts and words into more positive chatter, and watch the difference.
How do you stop self-sabotage in your life and work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 31, 2018 | Career
10 Practical Tips to navigate office politics as a working woman
One of the biggest obstacles that many a working woman faces in her career is navigating office politics. The subtle yet very much existing bias against working women, combined with the wage gap and other gender inequalities in the workplace, make it challenging to master the politics of office life.
This is especially prevalent for working women as many of us tend to feel uncomfortable in confrontational situations, political maneuvering or quid pro quo behavior. Yet, being in an office also means having to deal with office politics. It means having to operate within the political fray that makes up a large part of corporate and business environment because work politics are simply inevitable. Personal and work-oriented goals collide in the workplace, as people seek promotion and compete for limited positions and resources.
10 Practical Tips to navigate office politics as a working woman-2
As a working woman, navigating office politics has been one of my greatest struggles, especially as an introvert. Between complicated inter-personal dynamics, energy-charged business meetings, and other political challenges at work, I was often left at a loss and confused. It took many years, conversations, lessons learnt and research to even begin to understand how to start making a dent in this imposing obstacle for working women.
If you’re reading this, and are wondering what steps you can take to navigate your particular office or business’ office politics, here are a few practical tips to get started:
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Start with your mindset
I often say that it all starts with our mindsets. What you picture in your mind has an interesting way to manifest. For this very reason, it’s crucial to begin the work within, more specifically in your mindset.
Examine your mindset as honestly as possible, and question the particular beliefs that you hold about yourself and as related to your work, career or business. What are those disruptive beliefs that create fear when it comes to your career or business? Are you challenged by inter-personal dynamics and confrontation, and if so, why? How can you get more comfortable dealing with inter-personal dynamics at work? Asking yourself these questions, and exploring avenues to strengthen your mindset and re-frame your view of office politics as positive and productive can make all the difference in the world.
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Get clear about your motives and goals
One of the reasons why many of us may shy away from office politics is that we’re not clear about what we want. In order to stand your ground in the political jungle prevailing in most offices and business, you must be clear about your motives and goals.
What are your objectives when it comes to your career? What goals do you have in mind for a specific project? What motives drive you as related to your work? Understand these will help you gain the clarity you need to face the professional political landscape.
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Understand the personalities and motives of others
As important as understanding your motives and goals, is understanding those of others around you. It can be challenging to read, let alone control, the complex situations arising in the context of office politics. Considering the mix of personalities and motivations that are most often part of office environments, it can be easy to get lost in the shuffle.
Learn to observe the personalities of those around you, before making any premature assumption or having an early reaction. In addition, try to understand their motives. What does their personality tell you about who they are? What could their motives be as related to a particular project, assignment, or to the team, department or company in general? The more information you can get along these lines, the better you’ll be able to strategically prepare, plan, and create options to manage political situations.
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Advocate for yourself
A large part of successfully navigating office politics is being able to advocate for yourself. This doesn’t mean adopting a defensive stance, or even promoting yourself at all times. Yet, it means placing yourself in positions where you’re able to demonstrate what you bring to the table.
Don’t hesitate to share results you’ve achieved, and to show the benefits that you can bring to a given project, assignment, team or even company. Even better than tooting your own horn, it’s crucial to strategically understand what would constitute a benefit to others, and present it as your unique competitive advantage. This will take you from uncomfortable “bragging” to strategic “serving”.
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Make strategic alliances
In order to successfully navigate office politics, you must learn to recognize the political organization chart. This is not just your formal organizational chart. Rather, it’s about identifying the real office power players around you. Who really has authority around you? Who’s respected and listened to? Who mentors others?
Make strategic alliances with those whose influence you admire and who can help you in your career growth. Build relationships that are mutually beneficial while absorbing as much knowledge as possible.
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Leverage informal networks
In addition to understanding who the power players are and building strategic alliances, you must also get familiar with the social networks at hand. What are the groups or cliques in existence around you? Who gets along with whom? Where are the interpersonal conflicts?
Deciphering the social networks around you can also help you navigate the influences at play. It will also save you from unfortunate faux-pas in your career.
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Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer
This expression perfectly applies to office politics. Understanding the power players, as well as the informal networks, will help you distance yourself from those who use others for their own purpose. While you should be courteous at all times, you should also be careful of what you share with them.
Understand what motivates them, and steer clear of their negative politicking.
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Go above mentorship, seek sponsors
While mentors can pour wisdom, advice and knowledge into you, sponsors can actually advocate for you. These are the people, usually in leadership positions, who will intercede for you and invite you into rooms you wouldn’t normally have access to.
Navigating office politics successfully will require you to have sponsors that support you as you manage the political atmosphere at play.
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Use emotions as your personal compass
Working women are often falsely described as being too “emotional” to successfully navigate office politics. What is most often seen as a success impediment for women at work, is actually a strength. As working women, we can actually leverage our emotional quotient and use it as a compass to be politically savvy at work.
This includes being attuned to our emotions to identify the type of people and environments you’re dealing with. This will help you plan, prepare and adjust how you navigate office politics.
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Adopt a successful behavior
Look around you and identify successful behaviors you can model. Learn to understand your organization’s culture, as well as what works in it. As a working woman, be a model of integrity by limiting how much you deal with gossip, being positive, and rising above conflicts.
Most importantly, always remain professional, and adopt an organizational, rather than a personal, perspective.
What other tips do you have to navigate office politics as a working woman?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 16, 2018 | Start Your Business
If you ask many, if not most business owners, what the hardest part of running their business is, one of the most common answers you’ll get is around productivity. It’s not surprising, considering that running a business, or even a side hustle, requires keeping so many balls up in the air. Unlike a regular 9-to-5, we must set our own schedules, answer to ourselves, and in the beginning juggle the different aspects of running all the facets of the business, from accounting to marketing.
One of the biggest struggles I’ve had in my side hustle first, and business later, was to be and keep being productive. I would be appalled at how fast time would fly, and at how little I would accomplish in a day, as compared to the monumental task list I’d have going. It seemed I would never be done, yet the tasks would keep piling up on my list. “How could I ever get it all done?“, was the question I would constantly ask myself.
In order to be more productive, it’s crucial to find ways to make better use of the little time we have. Here are 12 tips for small business owners to improve their productivity:
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Prioritize
Running a business or even simply being involved with a business also means having a long list of to-do’s. From getting clients to answering emails, there are a gazillion things to attend to in a business. However, you cannot possibly attend to them all. Which also means that you must prioritize your tasks and rank them by order of impact.
To Do: Identify the activities that are most impactful to your business. These may include income-producing activities, as well as content and client outreach activities, for instance. Prioritize these and ensure that you do spend an adequate amount of time on them.
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Identify the income-producing activities
As passionate as you may be about your business, it’s still important for you to make money in it. A business that doesn’t make any money, or doesn’t have any money-making potential, is a hobby. While your business may not automatically make enough money right from the start, you must pinpoint those activities that have the potential to bring income to it.
To Do: List all the business activities that are income-producing, and devise ways to fit these in your schedule on a daily basis. Focus on these and devote time to them.
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Identify the least desirable activities, and tackle them first or delegate them
There will be many activities in your business that you will not be particularly attracted to. Those are the tasks that make you want to get a root canal instead of devoting yourself to them. Pay particular attention to these, and make a conscious decision to either tackle them first or delegate them to someone competent enough to handle them.
To Do: Go through your list of to-do’s and pinpoint the tasks that you are reluctant to tackle. Decide whether to work on them first thing in the morning, or to delegate them.
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Focus on one task
As business women especially, we may be inclined to multitask. However, studies have proven that multi-tasking reduces our productivity and efficiency. Learning to focus on one task makes us more effective, especially within our businesses.
To Do: Pick one single activity to focus on at a time, and do not switch your focus until you’re done. Establish a system of rewards for completing each task so you can motivate yourself even more.
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Time yourself
There are so many things to address in a business that it can be easy to lose track of time. Make it a habit of timing yourself from activity to activity. Use tools like the Tomato Timer, based on the Pomodoro time management technique, for instance. Assessing how much time it takes you to finish given tasks will give you a better idea of how efficient you really are. It’s also a great basis to improve your productivity.
To Do: Use a timer method of your choice to keep track of how you spend your time in your business. Start keeping weekly timesheets and assessing your time management. Track your progress and reward yourself as you go.
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Communicate with your team
If you work with a team, or even just collaborators, make sure that your communication is effective. It can be challenging to keep the lines of communication clear and open when running or growing a business. Use collaboration tools like Asana, Slack, or Google Docs, to streamline and clarify your communication.
To Do: Make it a habit to communicate frequently with your team. If you haven’t already, pick a collaboration tool to use within your team.
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Lessen meetings
One of the biggest time-wasters in businesses is unproductive meetings. Learn to reduce the necessity of meetings by communicating more effectively and clarifying directions. Instead of constant meetings, opt for mini-huddles to keep in touch. Use technology to stay connected with your team without spending unnecessary time in meetings.
To Do: Reduce the amount of meetings you’re involved in. If it can be said in an email, it does not require a meeting.
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Take breaks and exercise
Businesses require a lot out of us. Which also means that we can deplete ourselves in the process of creating, running and growing our businesses. This is why it’s crucial to replenish our reserves, whether mental, physical or spiritual. Make it a habit to exercise regularly and take breaks throughout your day. Having a spiritual practice also goes a long way in keeping you focused and productive.
To Do: Schedule time for exercise and breaks as you would business commitments. Learn to honor this time to care for yourself and come back re-energized.
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Automate it
Thanks to technology, there are many tasks on your business to-do list that you can automate. From bank transfers to scheduling your social media posts, learn to streamline your activities by automating them whenever possible and effective.
To Do: Identify those tasks on your to-do list that can be efficiently and productively automated. Use the appropriate tools in order to run your business as smoothly and as effectively as possible.
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Say NO
No is a complete sentence. It’s also one of the most potent success tools in business. Learn to recognize those requests and demands on your time that are not aligned with your business purpose, and say no to them. Saying no is a muscle you must learn to develop if you want to be successful as a business owner.
To Do: Get in the habit of saying no to at least one request per day, that is not aligned with your business purpose.
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Break up with social media
Social media has too many business owners and entrepreneurs flaunting false artifices on social media, instead of actually building and growing their enterprise. While social media is a powerful business and marketing tool, it can also constitute a huge distraction. Learn to schedule your social media activities around your business needs and stick to this schedule.
To Do: Use tools such as Buffer to schedule your social media posts. You may also schedule some specific time intervals to maintain your social media involvement, instead of being on it all day.
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Schedule email time
Email is a close contender to social media when it comes to being a huge business distraction. Schedule your email time as you would any other commitment, and stick to it. Make sure to maintain a clean inbox, and declutter your email subscriptions regularly.
To Do: Set some time on your daily schedule devoted exclusively to email. Keep away from email outside of this time. Get rid of any email subscriptions that are not aligned with your personal or business purpose as well. Anything you haven’t opened or read in the past six months is obviously not needed, so get rid of it.
How do you keep productive in your business?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Jan 11, 2018 | Start Your Business
While there’s a lot of noise around starting a business and entrepreneurship in general, no much gets said about the emotional side of starting a business. However, the very act of launching a business is first and foremost an emotional process. It requires faith and a level of mental stability that many of us may not necessarily have.
Very few entrepreneurs admit to the emotional roller-coaster that starting and running a business really is. In the age of “following your dreams” and the hyper-mediatized temptation of social media hustling, it can be easy to imagine that entrepreneurship is easy. After all, it’s just a matter of “following your passion and the money will come”, right? Wrong…
While entrepreneurship requires being adequately prepared with the appropriate tools and strategies, the emotional part of being an entrepreneur is often under-estimated. From sheer excitement, motivation to loneliness, sadness and even depression in many cases, many are the emotions that entrepreneurs face.
Here are a few ways to deal with the emotional side of entrepreneurship:
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Have realistic expectations
Many entrepreneurs are also perfectionists. Which also means that many of us set very high and quite unrealistic expectations for ourselves and entrepreneurial journey. While these can provide a temporary high, they can also bring a certain level of disappointment in people.
Many entrepreneurs fail to care for themselves. As a result, the accumulated stress and fatigue end up affecting their emotional state. In our hustling, super-by society, self-care is very often underrated. Instead of stopping to reflect and observe a pause in order to replenish our mental, emotional, and spiritual. We tend to push, over-exhaust ourselves and in turn be even less effective at what you do.
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Get a coach or accountability partner
Entrepreneurship can be a lonely and challenging process. It’s also a very emotional process, as it awakens parts of ourselves that we may have buried for a long time. From dealing with fear to facing emotions ranging from guilt to extreme excitement, there are many emotional pitfalls to the entrepreneurial journey. It’s exactly the reason why it’s so important to find a coach or accountability partner.
These are people who will challenge, motivate and inspire you, especially during those moments when you feel low. They are also those who will help you dig yourself out of the pit of emotional highs and lows that come with any entrepreneurial journeys.
I’ve mentioned earlier that entrepreneurship can be a pretty lonely experience. It’s also one that many around you may not necessarily understand. After all, not everyone has an entrepreneur’s mindset, or understands the demands of creating a business.
This is why it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who can and are willing to support you. It also means that we owe it to ourselves to place some distance between us and those who may not be good for you during this part of your journey.
How do you deal with the emotional side of entrepreneurship?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 10, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
When it comes to productivity, it’s one thing to desire to be more productive. It’s an entirely different thing to identify the reasons why you’re not being as productive as you could. For many of us, especially as working women, optimal productivity is still a myth. We try to fit in as much as we can on our already packed schedules, and claim to be so “busy” all the time. Yet how much of the “Busy-ness” is really bearing fruits? How productive are we really being? Most importantly, what are the triggers that lead us down the familiar path of “busy but not productive”?
In my own career, business and life experience, it took me years to understand that new good habits could not stand if I did not identify the old, negative patterns. Which brought me to re-consider three major areas in our work and lives that trigger us to be un-productive:
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Negative Mindsets:
Do you notice how most times, when you get ready to tackle a challenging, uncomfortable, or unpleasant task, you tend to procrastinate? Do you listen to your thoughts as you get distracted and un-focused? Do you even know which thoughts and mindsets cause you to lose focus and send productivity down the drain?
One of the major obstacles to being efficient and productive can be traced to our powerful mindsets. The same mental patterns that motivate, inspire and push us to be our best selves are also those that block us from it. They are the thought patterns that tell us that we’re inadequate, that we cannot do it, that we’re not well connected, qualified, or equipped. Those are thought patterns that may have been passed down from generations, through families, friend circles, even work and business networks.
Knowing what these thought patterns are put us in the strong position to be able to recognize them. Once you recognize your triggers, you can better act to stop them, or at least limit their negative impact.
To Do: Start watching your thoughts for patterns that push you into lack of focus or unproductive work. Recognize these thoughts and learn to move away from them, or situations that may expose you to them. Work on improving your mindset through positive affirmations, inspiring relationships, books and learning tools.
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Productivity-sucking People:
In one of this TV show episodes, Steve Harvey confessed that twice a year, he goes through his list of friends, family and acquaintances, and does a thorough cleansing. Whoever does not help get better no longer has a place in his circle. The first time I heard this tip from Harvey, I cringed. As a person who’s very attached to my friends, family and even acquaintances, I couldn’t fathom the fact that people in your circle and network may hinder your growth and productivity. It took me a few years to experience it in my own work and life, and understand what Harvey was really talking about.
As uncomfortable a reality as it may be, there are “energy vampires” around us who can literally suck the best out of us. These may be negative co-workers, unsupportive friends or family members, or emotionally needy people who take of our resources without feeding us mentally or emotionally in return. These are the people who we may not realize are stunting our growth and making us less productive.
To Do: Identify the “energy vampires” in your life, and reflect on ways to limit their negative impact. This can be a challenging, even painful process. However, it is often one of the most potent blocks to optimal productivity.
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High-investment, low-return Things And Activities:
This is the era of things that can possess us, rather than us possessing them. From social media to instant messaging, not to mention the lure of wealth and power, it can be easy to allow things around us to rob us of our productivity. How many times have you spent hours on Instagram watching others win while you wait? How many times have you spent too much time accumulating things that cost you too much time, money and energy to maintain?
I used to have a pretty sizeable shoe habit. Which also meant I would spend money on accumulating footwear I didn’t have enough room to store. This is without counting with the money and related credit card interest that could have been invested or saved. These “things” were literally cost me time to manage and store adequately, and money that could be put elsewhere.
Did you notice that some of the biggest entrepreneurs, the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, have a limited wardrobe? The reason behind this is that they devote as little time as possible to things with little to no return, and more time to building legacies. What if we also could stop allowing things from keeping us unfocused and unproductive?
To Do: Look around you. Identify those things and possessions that cost you excessive time, money and energy. Start thinking of ways to minimize their impact and re-allocating your time to your most important projects.
How do you face these productivity blocks in your daily life?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
