by Solange Lopes | Dec 9, 2013 | Career |
This is an old post that I wrote a long time ago, but I find is still relevant, maybe now more than ever…
Ever wonder what the most agile of gymnasts and successful career women and men have in common? Well, more than you may ever think…
As I navigate through my own career, and discuss, or plainly hear or read about accounts from other men and women alike around their own careers, it has become evident that making it at work is no longer a matter of just doing your job, even if excelling at it and/or being the smartest, most diligent employee in the room. No wonder so many PhD’s are baristas at Starbucks, albeit incredibly talented baristas, while still holding their Law or Natural History degrees…For our generation of millenials, and even back a few generations, the name of the game is no longer “Fake it ‘til you make it”, but rather “Fake it, dodge it, climb over it, slide under it, somersault across it, do a handstand, back flip, center split around it, all at the same time”, and you still won’t be guaranteed to make it to the now-glorious podium of career success and longevity…Yup, you read right, maintaining a career, especially in the corporate jungle anywhere, has become a feat of Olympian proportions, and if you ever thought that quirky brain of yours or rock-solid work ethics passed down in your family from generation to generation of working folks will save you, well…think again…
Modern career-building is not an exercise for the faint of hearts, mind you…Most of the geniuses I’ve come across during my high school and college years have now either remained geniuses in genius-oriented careers, like computer programming, financial modeling, or you know Einstein-type gigs, disappeared from the professional horizons, or simply, like many among us, are still struggling to swim upstream in the terrible professional currents of our days…And those, the upstream, struggling, out-of-breath, out-of-time and out-of-success professional swimmers, are among the most numerous, the geniuses constituting, as always, the minorities of minorities…Now one other thing that is self-evident, is that those who’ve made it, are making it, or are showing some serious promise of making it, are not the A students, the studious college pals who forfeited nights of binge drinking and devious hanging out to study for their finals in 3 weeks…Nope…Those, at least many of those, are the average Joe’s, the normal “achievers”, you know, your B or C students who weren’t exactly the top of the lot, but who turned out pretty successful in the real world…
So what do these successful workplace heroes know more than the rest of us? And even more importantly, what separates REAL life from REAL school? What special wiring do some of us have that allow them to climb the career ladder, while others just can’t seem to get past the first few rungs? Well, as many of us are finding out, more than a jungle, the real world is a gym, one where agility and flexibility rule, while stiffness gets you, well…a stiff shove back down the line. Truth is, politics reign everywhere, most of all in the workplace; and while doing your job is important, understanding and managing workplace politics is crucial. As everywhere, there are important people, important values, and important “stuff” in general that you’re supposed to know at the very least, and put into practice at best…Now of course, not all of this “stuff” is good “stuff”, and by no means should we turn into hypocrites applying principles and doctrines that are straight up wrong, or that we do not believe in at all…Yet around some of that stuff that is not bad, not dishonest, and not totally out of our leagues, we should learn to become agile acrobats and skilled contortionists, folding and unfolding our cards as the game unfolds…
And what does that exactly mean, in basic, non-political, career lingo for Dummies? Well, for one, we need to open our eyes and look, not just at the furniture and the calendar for happy hours, but at strategic “stuff” like the chain of authority, who the high-ups are, what they know, how they behave and how you, yes you, are to use all the acrobatic skills you’ve ever learnt since kindergarten to get your work noticed, find the right mentor, learn the right lessons and be at the right place at the right time.
Now that’s not the stuff of textbooks or learning seminars…That’s the stuff of REAL life, where you’ve got to play the right cards at the right time…Or else, you can also opt out of the race altogether, and go get happy somewhere else, become your own boss, or maybe get adopted by the Donald…Otherwise, if you’re still suiting up to hit your corporate gig, well, you may want to start considering some serious gym education…
Just sayin’….
Are you flexible in your career success pursuit?
Love Always,
by Solange Lopes | Dec 4, 2013 | Career |
Photo: urbanbellemag.com
For many, a healthy marriage and a successful career may not sound like they could go hand in hand. After all, how does one reconcile the sometimes strenuous demands of a corporate career without endangering the fragile equilibrium of matrimony and family? How can we muster enough dedication and commitment to keep pushing forward in our careers while still achieving the proverbial work-life balance? And last but not least, how do you manage to find the TIME to do both, all the while trying to put in extra hours and plan the occasional date with the hubby?
So it may seem strange to argue that actually working on your marriage may just give an added boost to your career. Yet it is very much true…Most married corporate sisters I’ve talked to over the years have admitted that as hard as it is to juggle career and family, the added stability of a healthy marriage has allowed them to be more effective at work. Besides, knowing that in the midst of their struggles and victories in the corporate jungle, they can always count on a supportive partner to lift them up in times of need,or just listen to them griping about that horrible boss, makes a world of difference.
In my own experience, I’ve found that a marriage, just like a career, takes work, dedication, commitment, and TIME…And it is necessary to allocate to it the right amount of effort and yes, TIME, in order for it to be a solid foundation for the rest of our lives, including our careers, for many different reasons:
Your partner is your partner, even after you’re done burning the midnight oil on that year-end project…And when you get home in need of much rest, guess who might just be there to give you a foot rub…Yup, not that year-end project…
Your biological clock is still ticking, despite all the embryo freezing technology and arguments about women’s fertility. It’s just nature’s course, and if it having babies is part of your life plan, a good marriage may just help…
You need the support system! As “independent woman” as we may all want to believe we are, it doesn’t hurt to use some support every now and then, or every day…Besides, having another pair of hands to pick up the groceries, shuttle the kids to soccer practice or just remember to turn the heat off, may just allow you to finish that report and submit it on time…
It’s better to take risks when you have a partner to fall back on than when you don’t…Successful careers take more than work and dedication, they also require a certain amount of gut and risk. And when you can jump off some bridge with someone by your side holding your hand, you should definitely work on not letting that hand go….
At the end of the day, being in a healthy marriage will make you happier than having a good job. It’s not just what a large body of research has found, it’s just what my grandmother will tell you after 60 years of marriage and a brilliant career…
Last but not least, divorce is way too expensive! As challenging as marriage coupled with a career can be at times, it may just not be worth starting over financially, professionally and emotionally again. Work on what you have, and it may just be what you need after all…
Do you think working on your marriage will boost your career?
The Corporate Sister.
by | Dec 3, 2013 | Career |
As corporate sisters trying to make it in the corporate jungle, we may at times be over-invested in our careers. As we try to make a difference and carve paths where few of us have tread, we may tend to take work with us wherever we go. It’s in our thoughts, all over our words, even in the way we interact with each other…
Many times, we are unable to just leave work at work. We feel that there is too much to do, too much to prove, maybe too much to fear? We store good and bad experiences alike in some cozy corner of our minds, playing and re-playing, over and over again, the victories and mishaps of the day. In the mirrors of our overcrowded psyches, molehills are turned into professional mountains, seemingly insurmountable, just as our stress levels peak higher and higher…
Here we are, at 10pm, fretting over our Blackberrys attempting to resolve issues that are better handled with calm first thing in the morning. Or over-extending ourselves in ways that are detrimental to our health, and ultimately to our careers. Or yet again, setting up patterns and expectations that we may not be able to satisfy in the long run.
Yes, it is certainly important to go above and beyond in our careers. And we can certainly agree that excelling at one’s job does require a certain measure of dedication and commitment. However, failing to balance out the different areas of our lives is a sure deterrent to our professional advancement.
One of the most precious pieces of advice my dear mother, herself a veteran of the corporate sisterhood, once told me, was this: “As a woman, and as a professional Black woman, the world will not be kind to you. But you’ve always got to remember to drop your career at the doorstep before you come home. You can always pick it up in the morning.”
Do you leave work at work?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 21, 2013 | Career
Many are the career sins that we all commit on an almost daily basis. From overt arrogance to destructive ruthlessness, to excessive pride and lashed out anger on the job, there are definitely more than 7 career sins out there…
Yet for corporate sisters, and all women in general thriving in the corporate jungle, there is THIS one sin that we seem to repeatedly commit.
You can catch us committing this sin in meetings, when we unconsciously deny ourselves the right to contribute otherwise innovative ideas. Or as we’re presented with new projects and endeavors that could make us noticed throughout the company, and we just remain quiet. Better yet, many of us are caught red-handed and guilty, as we share our brilliant ideas with others and allow them to take credit for our work.
It’s the sin of SILENCE, and it may just be our biggest corporate downfall…
Are you guilty?
The Corporate Sister.
by | Nov 21, 2013 | Career
One question that you’ll often hear at interviews, and which frankly should be the topic of entire college courses, is the following:” Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?” Basic translation for corporate sisters like you and I: You need a plan!
The corporate jungle is just that, a jungle. Here, and for many a corporate sister, there are limited road signs, speed bumps or GPS on how to take your career to the next level. Some of us do get on the right path through hard work and dedication, others luck out and find the right mentor or sponsor (we’ll discuss later how these can propel your career to the next level), while for the rest of us, we’re not always sure whether to keep straight or bifurcate at the next exit…
In corporate as in many other areas of life, we need a P-L-A-N, if only to better re-adjust it as we go…
Throughout my years in the corporate jungle, and after weighing the pros and cons of even having a career plan, I’ve found for my own unconventional reasons, that I needed one:
1. A career plan just gives you a general direction. It need not be ultra-specific, or detailed to the T. However, you do need to have a meeting with yourself at some point and ask the much dreaded question: “Where the heck am I going?”
2. A plan DOES create growth space. Contrary to popular belief, having a plan does allow you space to grow. By delineating where you’re headed (or at least where you think you’re headed), it gives you the time and freedom that you would otherwise dedicate to keeping afloat every day. Now that you’ve charted your potential career trajectory, you have more time and clarity to think about other avenues you may be taking to reach your life goals.
3. Last but not least, a plan, and I mean, any plan, can lead to a BETTER plan. So even if you are not sure of your initial plan, or have no idea what you want for that matter, laying down the foundation may lead you to your BEST, ultimate life plan.
Do you have a career plan?
This is an old post that I wrote a long time ago, but I find is still relevant, maybe now more than ever…
