Have you attended a meeting at work and felt like somehow, you didn’t quite belong? Or landed a promotion that you didn’t feel you deserve? I know I have, and you may have as well as a working woman who’s ever experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work. This is an issue that has always affected women, and also does racial minorities as well as minority groups.
It doesn’t matter how competent, qualified or driven you are. We’ve all felt this way, at one point or another in our careers. According to this Behavioral Science Research Institute’s study, around 70 percent of people have experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work.
Impostor syndrome, also known as “fraud syndrome”, occurs when we don’t feel like our successes are deserved. Instead, we tend to attribute our achievements to external circumstances, like timing, coincidence or sheer luck. Most people affected by it worry they’ll be exposed as a fraud, and are likely to experience strong anxiety, fear and distress as a result.
I started feeling the Imposter Syndrome as early as my college years. I never quite could shake the feeling that I didn’t deserve to be in those upper-level Accounting and Finance classes, or that I could actually graduate as an honor student. Even as I walked across the stage on Graduation Day after completing my Master’s degree, there was a sense that I had only been fortunate to have gotten that far. This sense of sheer luck rather than deserving accomplishment followed me in my career as I would unconsciously sabotage my progress at times for fear to be discovered as a fraud.
Ridding yourself of the Impostor Syndromeis hard! After all, it’s a mindset buried under years of faulty self-belief about who you are, what you’re able to accomplish, and what you really deserve in life. Yet, you can fight it and use it instead as fuel to succeed at work again, this time on your own terms and with a smile on your face. As women, we carry so many societal and social expectations that it can easy for us to succumb to the pressures of feeling like a fraud in and outside of work.
Here are five ways you can fight it at work, and even beyond your career:
Acknowledge the problem
You’ve heard it before. You can’t solve a problem unless you acknowledge it first. Many of us have a hard time taking an honest look at ourselves, and recognizing that we do suffer from Impostor Syndrome. Instead, we use excuses to make ourselves feel better.
Where are you undervaluing yourself? Which of your successes are you attributing to luck or favorable circumstances? Do you think you’ve only gotten the promotion because the boss likes you? Or that you’ve been invited to this high-visibility infrastructure project at random? Do you feel like you don’t deserve to manage that project because you’re not experienced enough?
Pinpoint those areas where doubt is creeping in and your confidence is crumbling. Be honest about them, and write them down on paper to really identify the problem at hand.
Get Your Success Box Out!
One of the most powerful lessons that one of my mentors taught me is to always remember to get your Success Box out! You may be wondering: “What is this Success Box?” It’s made out of all your past accomplishments, everything you have ever done successfully in your life.
There’s something about reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve done, that restores your confidence back. Whether it’s the college degrees, the certifications, the positive feedback, the personal journey, whatever it is that shows that you’ve done it before, is proof that you can do it again! I suggest keeping an actual box where you write down on pieces of paper your recent successes and take it out every time you need that confidence boost!
Sharing is Caring!
Sharing your expertise and journey is also a great way to remind yourself of your competence and ability! Find someone who needs help in an area that you’re knowledgeable about, and engage them to see if you can help or mentor them. It may be a more junior employee, a family member or a friend in need.
I find that every time I can help someone else by sharing my expertise, I end up realizing how much I know and am capable of. I also learn through the process about myself, my strengths and other areas I can develop.
Consider also sharing your experience with the Impostor Syndrome with trusted friends, family members and colleagues. It’s also an empowering way to recognize the problem, and courageously face it by talking about it.
Ask yourself: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
The biggest culprit with the Impostor Syndrome is the resulting fear. Try reversing this angst by asking yourself this question: “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” I actually have a Post-It note on my desk with this question on it. Every time I feel the fear creeping up in me, I look at it and loudly ask myself the question, over and over again.
What would you do? Would you go for this exciting career opportunity abroad? Would you apply for the promotion or ask for that raise? Would you create that business? Ask yourself the question, and let the answers lead you towards the success you deserve!
Change your words!
A mentor of mine once told me: “Your words are your life!” In other terms, your language is a preview of who you are! It also tells others about how much you trust yourself. Phrases like “I think”, or “I feel” indicate a lack of assurance in your ow potential.
Instead, change your words to reflect a more confident personality. Use language that conveys the fact that you believe in yourself, your competence and your ideas.
Watch this YouTube video as a recap:
Now your turn: How do you fight Impostor Syndrome at work?
Whether you have a side hustle or a full-blown business, you may be running into challenges when it comes to managing your small business finances. From keeping track of your expenses to deciding how much to pay yourself, dealing with money in your small business can be quite the challenge.
It’s well-known that one of the major obstacles to succeeding in business for anyone is money. This is even worse for women, who face significant challenges ranging from not being taken seriously to the lack of access to investors.
Learning to manage my own business finances has been a process. Even as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), I had to set up some new financial habits and processes in order to effectively manage the money in my small business.
Track your business expenses by separating them from your personal expenses
Managing your business finances starts with tracking them properly. As working women, we handle so many responsibilities at once that we can be tempted to mix our personal and business expenses. In order to understand where your money is going, you must sort out which expenses are associated with your business.
What to do: Instead of dipping into your personal bank account, open a business account. Pay all your business bills from this account, as this will allow you to effectively track your expenses.
Pay your business bills on time
As you do with your personal bills, take care of your business expenses as readily as possible. This is especially important if you’re just starting a business and you, like many other women, don’t have access to large sources of funding. Don’t allow credit card late fees and tax penalties to ruin your business’ financial stability.
What to do: Set reminders to pay your bills on time and avoid late fees. Set aside some time to go over your finances on a weekly basis to ensure that you’re staying on top of your expenses.
Set money aside for your taxes
One question that many women entrepreneurs ask is how to manage their money, once they start making a profit. One of the first priorities when it comes to utilizing the profit you make in your business is to set money aside for your taxes.
What to do: Take into account your marginal tax rate and tentatively calculate the tax you may owe. Set money aside towards these tax payments as soon as you can. This will eliminate the stress many business owners face at tax time.
Decide what you will reinvest in your business
Another concern of women entrepreneurs is how much to re-invest in their businesses, especially when they do not have access to large sources of funding.
What to do: Depending on the extent of your expenses as well as the money you set aside for taxes, determine how much you will need to re-invest in your business.
Don’t forget to pay yourself!
While you should set money aside for taxes, business expenses as well as to re-invest in your business, you should also not forget yourself. Consider paying yourself out of the profits that your business is making as well. How much you should pay yourself will depend on your outstanding expenses as well as your current needs.
What to do: Carefully evaluate how much you need to set aside for taxes, expenses as well as business re-investment. Based on this, decide how much you can afford to pay yourself.
Learn more about small business accounting
One of your greatest business powers is in understanding your business’ accounting. Whether you choose to take classes, or hire an accountant, commit to learning more about how your money works for you in your business.
What to do: Make the commitment to understand the basics of accounting as related to your business. Start by taking available classes or consult with accountants and bookkeepers, for instance.
Minimize your expenses
It costs money to start and run a business. It took me a few months into my business to realize that some expenses were unnecessary or could be combined. As a result, I saved a large amount of money, which I was able to put back in the business and pay myself too in the process.
What to do: Comb through your expenses periodically and assess whether they are necessary.
I closed the last page of Believe Bigger: Discover the Path to Your Life Purpose, and just stood there in the middle of my kitchen, a smile on my face, (happy) tears streaming down my face. My perspective on Purpose, Faith and Life in general would never be the same. Not after reading this book…
There are very few books that will make a lifelong impact on you. Marshawn Evans Daniels’ Believe Bigger masterpiece is one of them. It’s like a gentle nudge from God to understand your significance, purpose and the path to get there. It’s also one of the strongest calls to reclaiming your life, gifts and awaken that greatness that is within each and every one of us, you may ever come across.
First off, let me tell you about Marshawn (I’m calling her Marshawn as I consider her to be my spiritual sister). Marshawn Evans Daniels is a reinvention strategist who mentors women around the world to live bolder in business, faith and life.I have been following her on social media for quite some time and have always been in awe of her impact on women like myself. Her message around women turning pain into purpose, and mess into magnificent life missions, has touched me personally in all areas of my life. I have been honored to be part of her book launch team for Believe Bigger, and what a blessing it has been!
As a woman, a believer and an entrepreneur who made a challenging, sometimes heart-wrenching leap into my purpose in faith, her message rocked me to my core. It spoke to every single fiber of self-doubt, regret, lack of confidence, that I have ever experienced as a timid child raised in a single-parent home, an introvert, and recovering success addict and people-pleaser. As I followed her own story going through being misunderstood and mislabeled as a “problem child”, to the demise of her wedding days before it even happened, and her stepping into her purpose to help women unleash their potential, I couldn’t help but see my own. Literally, anyone reading this book can see themselves in Marshawn’s story of facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles and overcoming through faith, resilience and the ultimate power of God.
Through her five stages of divine reinvention, which she details so perfectly in the book, Marshawn Evans Daniel takes you on a personal journey of introspection around your purpose in life and how to get there.
“Spiritual growth comes from perspective” – Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels
What Believe Bigger gives you is this much-needed perspective of faith and self-belief that many, if not most women, miss. As we’re given flawed messages of inadequacy from childhood on, from our relationships to our careers and businesses, we tend to start believing that we may not have a purpose after all. We stop thinking that we do have a bigger vision, and instead settle for the ordinary when we carry the extraordinary inside of us.
“Dreams are not just to be longed after, dreams are meant to be lived.” Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels
Yet, in Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels doesn’t just speak about potential and dreams. She has actually crafted an entire Purpose Map, clearly depicting the path to leading a life of purpose. She actually provides a tangible step-by-step approach to recognize your gifts and harness them to fulfill God’s plan for your life, move others forward and improve their lives in the process.
“Gifts align us with the best parts of ourselves that bring the best in others”. Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels
Through the pages of Believe Bigger, you get to understand that every struggle, every difficulty, every heartbreaking moment is simply providing you gift-giving lessons so you have more IMPACT in all areas of life. This is not a survival, quick-tips kind of book. What it is, is a manual to thrive and not just survive, to have significance and not just success.
“God has called every woman to lead. A life of influence and impact is the very center of feminine purpose.” Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels
Realizing that leadership is my birthright, along with every other woman, totally changed my perspective. Which also means that sitting in the back of the room, silencing our voices, or busying our lives with non-impactful activities, is not what we’re supposed to accept. Instead, you not only have the right, but the responsibility, to step into the glorious significance of being the woman you have been created to be.
But it all starts with believing bigger….
Thank you Marshawn, for an amazing, life-changing, revolutionary book!
While you may love it when money piles up in your bank account, managing it to last and grow despite the onslaught of expenses you may face is challenging. If you add to it quite the busy schedule, keeping up with family, friends and the (not so) occasional social media binge, and you’re easily financially in over your head…
However, keeping track of your budget doesn’t have to make you wish for a root canal instead. Actually, successfully handling your finances in general may be right within your smartphone’s reach. As a Certified Public Accountant and a budget-conscious shoe-lover, managing money has always been on my radar. However, after marriage, a couple of kids, a busy career and business, I’ve had to find ways to streamline my money management process, while still paying close attention to my coins. That’s where my smartphone comes in.
Here are 7 of my most favorite apps to help you manage your money, minus the stress, overdraft charges and financial diets:
I can’t rave enough about my favorite digital saver friend. If you tend to “forget” to save, or just need more motivation to do so, this app will change your life! It basically monitors your spending habits, and puts away money for you in a savings account based on your financial patterns. It’s so refreshing to log into Digit and realize how much money you’ve saved, without even really trying!
Mint
You may have seen this app listed just about…everywhere! The simple reason for this is that Mint is simply one of the best, and most intuitive, budget apps out there! It helps you stay on top of your bills, all in one place. What I really like about it is that it’s personalized for you, and even allows you to get your own free credit score.
Acorns
Not sure how to invest? The Acorns app helps you save more by rounding up your expenses, and sending the extra change to an investment fund. It’s a great (and mindless) way to save and invest, especially when you have no time to do so.
Pocket Guard
Sometimes you just need someone to tell you how much you can spend without breaking the bank! The Pocket Guard app does just that. It will show you how much money you can actually use, after taking account of your bills, savings and spending goals.
YNAB
The YNAB app is your budgeting friend. It will import your transactions for your bank account, and helps you categorize every dollar you spend. This is more for the committed savers among us. While it does require an investment of $83.99 a year or $6.99 a month, after an initial free trial, it will help you deal with your money in a productive and efficient way.
Gas Buddy
If you commute quite a bit, then the Gas Buddy app will help you track the cheapest gas stations nearby. All you have to do is put in your location, and wait for the least inexpensive gas stations around you.
Honeyfi
For the couples around, the Honeyfi app is a collaborative tool that will help you and your partner stay on the same wavelength when it comes to your finances. It allows you to create a household budget, as well as link your individual and household accounts to the app.
Bonus:
Joy
Want to spend and save with joy? That’s what the Joy app can help you do. It uses a psychology-based approach to assist you in saving money. This in turn allows you to build a more positive, and happier, relationship with your money.
Which are your favorite financial apps for working women?
Our Woman of Impact feature presents women who are breaking barriers in their careers, businesses and lives. These women are inspiring us to do our best work and live our best lives. Today’s feature focuses on HR Business Partner and Career Strategist Dorianne StFleur.
I’ve been inspired by Dorianne’s work and her contribution to women’s careers. Dorianne is a career coach & salary strategist for women in Corporate America. She helps women leverage their unique strengths to increase their income and climb the corporate ladder, without sacrificing their impact. Dorianne is a sought-after speaker, writer and HR expert and her work has been featured in many online publications, such as Black Enterprise, BuzzFeed, Forbes, Huffington Post and The Muse. To learn more about Dorianne, head over to yourcareergirl.com.
Hi Dorianne!Tell us a bit about yourself and what you do.
I’m an HR Business Partner, and I’ve been in HR since 2010, both in Finance and Technology. Currently, I’m in Advertising Technology. Basically, I do everything after someone is hired, from performance and talent management, to compensation, career development topics, or if you’re having an issue with your boss, or co-workers, etc. My role is to partner with the employee and manager as well.
I’m also a Career Strategist, and Executive Coach. I help women who are trying to tap into, and align their purpose with their career. I give them the tools and resources they need to have the career of their dreams. We spend so much time at work, and to the extent we can do something that is fulfilling during that time, that is my goal.
What inspired you to go into HR?
That is a funny story. I started my career in Operations, for about five years. I got to a point where I was doing well, yet wanted to do something different. I was a manager, I was sent to Salt Lake City, Utah with my team, and got to do so many amazing things. It was great, but it wasn’t something that was utilizing all my skills. I wanted to go to school for Psychology originally.
In talking to my manager, and being in tune with my strengths and purpose, I had taken some courses at New York University on “Intro to Management”. It just really piqued my interest. I knew nothing of HR before. After taking that course, I realized there’s a lot of strategy, relationships, coaching, etc involved in HR. Through internal mobility within the same company, I was able to transfer to a generalist position on the HR team. Once I got there, I realized this was what I wanted to be doing. I was doing a lot of things to help employees while developing and honing my own skills. Since then, I’ve been in HR. It’s a place I really enjoy and continue to grow in.
How about starting your own business? Did you always want to have your own business, or did your current career inspire you?
My career definitely inspired my business. I’d never thought of myself as being an entrepreneur. I was never one of those people who grew up knowing I was going to own my business. I was totally fine having a 9-to-5, as long as it was something I enjoyed doing.
Luckily for me, I’d mostly been in situations where I’d done well, been promoted and got all the recognition. Friends and family would ask me for advice. They would ask me to write their resumes, help them with mock interviews, etc. It just organically happened, and about a year and a half ago, I decided to make it official and turn it into a business where I’d be strategic about the people I’m helping and have a broader reach. That’s how Your Career Girl was born.
How do you find the time and energy to balance your career and business, as well as being a mom?
It’s very challenging. I have really long days. I wake up at 5 or 5:30am, my husband and I tag team to get my daughter ready in the morning. My husband’s schedule is flexible, so he can do pick-ups and drop-offs, as well as any emergency. I’m in the City at work, so we just make it work.
In the evenings, I spend time with my family, and then late nights, I’m working. I’ve gotten a lot better at prioritizing things. During the week, it’s basically work and business time, but on the weekends, it’s family time, and I’m always doing something with my family and spending one-on-one time with my daughter. I don’t have it down to a science, some things do fall through the cracks. Some weeks I do really well with self-care, other weeks I don’t. It’s a give and take, and I’m more about work-life integration anyways. It really just depends.
As a woman of color, what challenges would you say you face in your career and business?
In the technology space I’m in right now, the biggest obstacle I’m having is having that support network. Looking around to see people that look like you is challenging, especially in the tech industry. Being able to look at senior management and not seeing Black women or women of color who look like you can be really daunting.
Sometimes, it’s really discouraging, as you ask yourself if there’s really room for you to grow, and if you can go to the next level. This is why I share all these inspirational and motivational tools with my client base, because I know it can be difficult when you don’t see people who look like you, or when you don’t have that support system, or when there is not a group of women at your work that you can go have lunch with and bounce things off of.
In my business, I’m happy to say that there are so many other women of color who are entrepreneurs. There are so many women out there trying to empower others and use their gifts to build businesses. What I do find is that it’s definitely harder to get that traction. When I think of top career coaches and top career sites, they’re mostly run by white women. When I think about Black women who have just as great things to say if not better, they don’t have the visibility, the network, or funding.
Where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 10 years?
By then, hopefully I’ll have one or two more children (laughs). My goal is also to see Your Career Girl expand to such a level that it’s not feasible for me to have my 9-to-5. I greatly enjoy my job, but I also can see myself devoting my time to Your Career Girl, speaking on stage impacting thousands and thousands of women all over the world.
I have ideas for apps, and a lot of things that can bring about this idea of career development to optimal levels. I’m thinking of really scaling and growing my business in the next 5 to 10 years.
What resources or tools do you go to help you be your most productive?
For productivity and efficiency, I read a lot of articles. I also listen to a lot of podcasts, but they tend to pile up. I use Medium a lot, as well as Feedly. I’m on the Muse a lot as well, which provides lots of tips on career management.
I’m also a believer in “Less is More”. I try to pare things down and tend to edit my to-do list down, and find what I can focus on for better impact. I’m also flexible, and am fluid about the tools I use.
What is the biggest mistake you see women make in the workplace?
Women’s biggest mistake in the workplace, is not negotiating. Not just money, but not negotiating for work arrangements, for more vacation days, for transition when coming back from maternity leave. Of course, for salary as well. We tend to say ok to a lot, while men will ask why when they’re offered anything, and negotiate for themselves for just about everything.
Most of the time, women are not asking the right questions and negotiating for themselves. They end up leaving a lot of money and benefits on the table.
I remember after my maternity leave, I was determined to breast-feed for at least six months. I made sure I blocked off my schedule for that. I was not going to be one of these people who did not do that because of other pressures. It’s harder for us to set those boundaries, especially for women of color.
What advice would you give your 20 year-old self?
I’d definitely say to be confident. The worst they can say is no. There are so many things I could have done when I think about how many opportunities I missed out on, how many networking events I didn’t go to, how many things I didn’t raise my hand for. I was worried I didn’t look the part or didn’t’ have any experience, or other negative talk that would go on in my head. It still happens, but I’m now able to shoot down the negativity, and talk back to myself. I’d love to have told my 20-year old self: “You’ve got this! Go in there, own the room, fake it ‘til you make it!”
What would you recommend for something who would want to follow the same path as you?
You have to be really clear on your why. Why do you want to be in HR? Why do you want to start your business? I know my why, so I’m able to power through at work and in my business when it gets tough.
Whatever you want to do in your career, the first thing I recommend to my clients, is: “You need to know why this is something that’s important to you”. Not just a surface reason, but what’s really at the core. When you’re really clear about it, then you’ll know whether it’s something you really want to do, or if it’s something other people want for you. You’ll also be able to power through when times get tough.
What music do you have on repeat these days?
Right now, I’m listening to a lot of gospel. I also listen to a lot of Beyonce, R&B, and pop in general.
What services do you offer and where can we find you?
You can find me at yourcareergirl.com. I offer one-time strategy sessions, as well as ongoing private one-on-one coaching. I also offer online courses, and I also have a free Facebook accountability group, called the Career Success Circle, where we motivate each other and setting goals to take our careers to the next level.
Thank you Dorianne for all these precious gems! For more info on Dorianne, please head to yourcareergirl.com!
