Have you ever looked at your schedule and felt an “Auntie Maxine” “Reclaiming my time” moment? Whether it was because your goals seemed too far-fetched or that you could not possibly see how you could accomplish them all, at one point or another, you might have felt the need for refreshing your schedule.
I’ve learnt over time to periodically take a good, hard look at my schedule, especially as a working mom. Not only do circumstances constantly change in my family, from school schedules to vacations and doctor’s appointments, but my growth and evolution as a working woman and mom also mean that the way I organize my time is bound to change. What were priorities last year or even last month, may now be relegated to the bottom of the to-do list, and vice-versa. Emergencies or new priorities may also come along, thus changing your whole outlook on your schedule. Overall, it’s just good practice to re-evaluate your schedule on a periodic basis, re-organize your priorities and refresh your use of time.
If you’ve been thinking about updating and refreshing your schedule, here are 7 ways you may consider:
Check in with yourself: Re-visit your why
It all starts with you, from your schedule to how you choose to live your life. It makes sense then check in with yourself first, more specifically with what motivates and drives you, that is your “why”. Has your “Why” changed over time? Have you changed in a way that no longer accommodates your current schedule? If so, what are your new priorities and how do you envision your new schedule?
Check in with your loved ones
We don’t build alone, whether in life or at work. Most likely, your schedule doesn’t just revolve around yourself, but also around your loved ones. Check in with them and have an honest conversation about where you see yourself spending your time, given your particular circumstances. However, beware of not building your schedule based exclusively on the needs of others, which may leave you drained and unfulfilled.
Use a time tracker
One of the best practices I was introduced to in one of the productivity masterminds I attended, is the use of a time-tracker. As its name indicates, it’s a document in which you track how and what you use your time on. Documenting your daily schedule goes a long way towards clarifying where your time goes, which in turn helps you re-adjust where needed.
Find what brings you joy
One of the aspects of the time trackers I used revolved around documenting the activities that brought me joy. Doing so helped me pinpoint those tasks that would bring my energy level up, in turn making me more productive, fulfilled and efficient. In the same way, practice documenting those activities that revitalize you and that you particularly enjoy. Not only will they point you towards a more efficient use of your time, they may also very well be directing you towards your purpose.
Identify time-stealers
Another time-tracking aspect that also proved to be instrumental in my personal and professional growth is the identification of time-stealers. These are activities or tasks that zap your energy, drain you and absorb way too much of your time. For me, these are the usual suspects, that is administrative tasks and social media. By pinpointing these, you will be able to decrease their impact or eliminate them altogether from your schedule, thus positively refreshing it going forward.
Use the power of technology
While there may be numerous inefficient uses of technology, there are some aspects of it that are particularly useful in refreshing your schedule. Automating and scheduling tasks are part of these. Using the power of technology to handle low-level tasks that do not require your expertise is a powerful way to free up some of your time and create a more efficient schedule.
Build margins
Last but not least, one thing I realized through my last productivity mastermind is that an effective schedule is also one that allows for realistic margins. For instance, when heading to a doctor’s appointment with the kids, I realized that I was expecting the whole process to just take the commuting time to and from the doctor’s office. What I would not take into account was the time to prep the kids, transition them into the car, as well as any necessary time cushion in case of traffic jams or other delays. As a result, my schedule would always feel too tight. Building margins and cushions in my time planning allowed me to relax, de-stress and have a more realistic schedule.
What other tips do you recommend to refresh your schedule?
40 is not the new 30, 40 is the new 40. For some women like Kourtney Kardashian, feeling anxious about turning the big 4-0 is par for the course ( see video excerpt below). For others, it’s a good thing, at least according to Tracee Ellis Ross, who unapologetically claims that not only did her career blossom at 40, she also feels in her prime at now nearly 50. For all the women who fear, negatively anticipate or flat-out dread this mid-life milestone, Ross’s testimony sends a glimmer of hope in an otherwise darker age-conscious society.
I remember hearing all about turning 40 and how it changes everything. There is more of a fear of turning 40 than there ever was about turning 30 or 20. At 30 or 20, you still have a foot, a curl, or a toe, into youth. Yet, upon turning 40, there is no doubt about the fact that you’re officially stepping into adulthood. My closest friends and I would joke about turning 40 as much, or actually more, than we did about the year 2000 becoming reality. When our turn started looming on the horizon, we held on to 39 for dear life. Yet, what we didn’t realize then, was that 40 is a magnificent age, one to look forward to more than it is to fear.
However, despite the apparent downsides of aging for women, reaching certain birthday milestones is one of the most beautiful blessings life can afford us. As such, they should be celebrated, and the lessons learnt along the way acknowledged and shared. In honor of this, here are 40 lessons on turning 40 as a working woman:
It all starts with you!
One of the most important lessons as you age is that everything starts with you, from your interactions to the daily choices you make. This is exactly why working on yourself is the single most important thing you can do for you and everyone else around you.
Mindset is everything!
I wish I realized earlier how crucial mindset is to our lives. Once you realize your thoughts create your reality, you also understand how important it is to create as positive and fruitful a mindset as you can. Quiet time, meditation, prayer and self-care become a daily necessity rather than an occasional indulgence.
It was never about the money, but about the purpose!
While purpose may seem to be a very trendy concept these days, it reveals itself as one of our most important life foundations. Without purpose, we cannot flourish, grow or develop to our optimal level. Discovering and living our purpose beats any amount of money or level of fame we may reach.
You can have it all, on purpose!
Speaking of purpose, you can really have it all, according to your unique purpose in life. Being aligned with the purpose that is ultimately yours allows you to expand into the fullest, best version of yourself; which also means that whatever your “all” or the fullness of your potential is, is always accessible for you, on purpose.
Enjoy the journey, not just the destination
According to society, you should have such and such milestones achieved by the time you turn 20, 30, and so on. There seems to be a never-ending list of to-do’s, year by year, decade by decade. However, as time goes by, you start realizing that it’s really more about the journey than the destination. The point is to enjoy the path.
Self-care is never optional
You can’t pour from an empty cup, which is why self-care is never optional. Whether it’s some time to yourself, reading a book, or getting a pedicure, you must invest in your self-care.
You can always change your mind
It’s never too late to change your mind, go on a different path or do something differently. You can always change your mind and build the life you’ve always wanted, whether it means starting a new career, exiting fruitless relationships, or moving out of town.
Failure is opportunity
Failure is an opportunity to learn and move forward, not a death sentence. You can’t learn and grow unless you’re making mistakes. Growth is imperfectly perfect.
Life works out for you
If you’ve made it to this point, it’s proof that life is working out for you. Even the least desirable of circumstances always carry a lesson to your benefit. Keep your mind on that!
No one is responsible for your happiness.
No one is responsible for your happiness. Not your parents, not your spouse, not your colleagues, and certainly not your boss. You are. This one single realization can change how you perceive just about everything in life. So go on and be happy!
You are the CEO of your life
There comes a time when you realize you are in charge of your life and your circumstances. It also means you can decide the kind of relationships you’d like to engage in and those you’d rather exit, without any guilt.
Stop low-balling yourself
You may have underestimated yourself before, failed to negotiate what you were really worth, or settled for way less than you deserved, at work and in life. This is a reminder that it’s time to stop low-balling yourself and start asking for what you know you deserve.
Be open to change
Change, good, positive, fulfilling change is good. It’s the difference between quiet, lethal complacency and a life that makes you jump out of bed in the morning. Pick the latter.
Believe the best in others
Too much energy is spent on negative relationships and interactions, in and outside of work. Instead, choose to believe the best in others. You will do yourself a favor.
Be ok with releasing people and places that are no longer for you
Letting go can be a blessing. Know when it’s time to release people and places you’ve outgrown, from that toxic job to that oppressive neighborhood.
Gratitude is the new rich
Nothing calls in more abundance than a deep, authentic sense of gratitude. Practice appreciating who you are, what you have and where you are, on the way to where you’re going. It will do wonders for you.
Define success on your own terms
Society has defined success for women in many ways, most of which were inadequate and unfulfilling. Be willing to define your own brand of success, whether it’s raising a happy family, building a prosperous business, or climbing the corporate ladder.
Ask for what you want
The worst thing anyone can say to you is no. So go ahead and ask for what you want, all of it!
It’s ok to evolve
“You’ve changed!”. You’ll hear this a lot as you grow and evolve. Keep evolving anyways!
Favor experiences over money
Financial security is certainly necessary. However, experiences that change your life make you appreciate the world in a way that money never could.
Nurture your relationships
You cannot make it alone. Relationships are an integral part of life and success, however you may define success. Take time to nurture those relationships that matter to you the most. In the end, they will count more than prestige or economic prosperity.
NO is a full sentence
Being your best self will require you to say no more often than you say yes. You don’t have to justify yourself either. Simply saying no should be enough.
Be ok with spending time alone
Being comfortable with your own company is the greatest gift you can offer yourself. As time passes, I come to understand more and more that the most important relationship I will ever have, after God, is with myself.
You are enough: Value yourself
If you don’t value yourself, no one else will. Embrace all that you are, and value who you are and what you bring to the table. It’s how you teach others to treat you.
Follow your instincts
Your instincts are a gift. They can tell you what no other person, report, or statistic can. Trust them.
Never stop learning
Learning is not only the secret to constant growth and evolution. It’s also one of the best tricks to staying young in spirit and mind, and continue growing into the best version of yourself.
Do less but do it better
You don’t have to fill your schedule with a gazillion to-do’s. Instead, learning to focus on what really matters, what brings you joy and fulfillment, helps you do less, but do it so much better!
Build a career you love
You will spend much, if not most of your life, at work. Build a career you love so you don’t have to run from it on Friday!
When you learn, teach
Keep the door of opportunity open for others by giving back through teaching, whether formally or informally. Serve as a mentor, use your resources to help someone else, be an inspiration. When you learn, teach!
Offer opportunity to others
Along with teaching others, offer opportunities to grow and develop to others, whether formally or informally. Create a business and jobs, promote career advancement, and ultimately, expand yourself so you can help others expand.
Forget nice, be kind instead
Being nice is seeking to please through action or words, at the cost of falling out of alignment with yourself. Instead, be kind, speak your truth in love, and remain authentic to who you are, even if it feels lonely at times.
Treat yourself the way you would like others to treat you
If you would like others to treat you a certain way, check in with yourself that you’re also treating yourself with the same consideration and kindness you expect.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
If it’s not going to matter in the next five minutes, days, weeks or years, don’t sweat it! Learning to let go o is one of the most precious tools you will ever have to live your best life.
Faith it
Don’t just face it, but faith it! Believe that whatever happens, you will always come out better in the end. And you will…
Remember where you came from
It’s one thing to know where you want to go in life, it’s another to remember where you came from. This is not just about the place you came from, but everything you bring to the table in terms of experiences, skills, and lessons. You are the expert of your own experience!
Forgive yourself
Be willing to forgive yourself for any perceived failures or mistakes. Once you understand that there are really no mistakes, that everything is meant to put you on the right path for you, it gets easier to be less harsh on yourself. You’re doing the best you can!
Forgive others
Along with forgiving yourself, forgive others as well. Unforgiveness is too heavy a burden to carry, so let it go!
Be present
Give yourself the gift of being fully present in whatever circumstance you may be in, and experience the fullness of your life. Put the phone down, drop the to-do list, and enjoy every moment!
The goal is freedom
The goal is to create a life of freedom and fulfillment. At the end of the day, is what you’re spending your time on creating more or less freedom and joy? Now that is the real question…
Celebrate!
Don’t forget to celebrate yourself and others. We’re all doing the best we can with what we have at our disposal, so enjoy the process!
Have you ever cried at work, whether hidden in a bathroom stall or flat out in front of your boss? Have you ever expressed your anger in an explosive way you wish you could take back? Or have you witnessed a co-worker or friend in similar situations? You may have experienced any of these situations which may have required you to manage your emotions at work, whether you or someone else was involved.
As working women, we’re often saddled with the reputation of being “too emotional”. Popular opinion has it that women at work wear their emotions on their sleeves, and for this reason, may not be able to aspire to or hold positions of leadership. As a working woman, I know the importance of managing our emotions at work. From speaking with fellow working women, I also know that many have experienced, either personally or through a relationship, the negative effects of emotions at work.
In the traditional sense, emotions have been heralded as not belonging in the workplace. You’re not supposed to show your emotions at work. Neither are you supposed to talk about them. However, considering that emotions are natural mechanisms of survival as embedded in our biological make-up, how realistic is it to be expected to show no to little emotion at work?
Truth is, both men and women react to emotional stimuli, albeit in different ways. While men tend to explode, women tend to cry. However, as explained by neurologist William Frey, women tend to also carry in their systems a hormone that makes them more prone to crying, also known as prolactin. Yet, women are blamed more at work for expressing their emotions and as such tend to be more emotionally constrained.
What are we then do to as working women to manage our emotions at work? While ignoring your emotions at work is counter-productive, there are ways to manage them so that they help and don’t hinder your career:
Know your emotional patterns
Being aware of how you emotionally react is the first step to effectively managing your emotions. What triggers you in and outside of work? How do you tend to react in certain situations? Who are the people who make you react in a more emotional way?
Learning to be mindful of your own emotional triggers and reactions can go a long way towards helping you manage them. It will also help you anticipate highly stressful and emotion-inducing situations or contexts so you can choose the most suitable reaction for yourself. For instance, faced with a colleaugue’s or boss’s demeaning remarks, knowing that this is a trigger will help you decide to step away and grab a coffee in order to calm yourself down first. Even in situations where you may cry or get upset, prepare to discuss the behavior that made you react this way and seek an amicable resolution rather than letting it fester.
Do not ignore your emotions
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is totally ignoring your emotions. Burying deep-seated feelings or delaying emotional responses may worsen them in the long run. Acknowledge that you’re experiencing certain emotional reactions and work to understand their roots and origins first. What is it about a certain setting, context or person that creates certain strong emotions in you? Does it relate to a time or experience that you may not have dealt with previously?
It requires strength to recognize your emotions, when you may be tempted to ignore them. Instead, acknowledge them, and consider sharing them with someone you trust as a way of release. You can use this knowledge to devise the best way to react rather than being taken by surprise and reacting out of character.
Develop habits that help you balance out your emotions
Experiencing a host of different emtions at work, or anywhere else for that matter, is normal. Additioanlly ,considering the large amount of time we spend at work, it can be hard to avoid our emotions. It’s important then to develop habits and rituals to balance out the impact of some of the storng emotions we may feel at work. Habits such as exercising, meditation, prayer can help instill more happiness and stability in your day-to-day, so as to bring more emotional balance overall.
Having outlets for your talents, skills and interests outside of work can greatly contribute to helping you manage your emotions without denying them. It will also expose you to different environments and various personalities which in turn will teach you the resilience and experience needed to handle other situations at work.
Overall, you must demystify the importance of emotions at work and learn to use these as actual compasses and indicators rather than enemies to be avoided at all costs.
Now your turn: How do you deal with your emotions at work?
Last-Minute Gift Guide for the Fierce Working Women In Your Life
Please note I may receive a commission if you purchase the items below.
‘Tis the season for gifting! When it comes to the fierce, kickass, unstoppable working women around you, finding gifts that truly represent who they are (and that they can actually use) can be tricky. After all, keeping up with an ambitious woman’s excellent taste, as well as her busy career, is not for the faint of hearts.
If you’re wondering what to run out and get that relentless, hard-working woman in your life, you can get inspired by some of our ideas. Something tells me she’ll adore these practical yet stylish office tools, these brilliant office supplies, and one-of-a-kind signature accessories.
Rifle Paper Floral Weekly Planner Desk
Rifle Paper Weekly Desk Planner – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
This weekly planner desk featuring 52 tear-off sheets is the perfect desk accessory and reminder in one! The honeydew floral style is elegant and chic, and you can even use it as a mouse pad! Click HERE to check it out!
This clear drawer desk organizer is perfect to store all your office supplies in one place. From the two file organizers on the left, to the iPad holder and charger in the back, you can get everything you need in the office in one place. Click HERE.
This stylish gold polka dot organizer includes enough space for your budget, your yearly and weekly goals, as well as monthly and weekly calendars, among other practical things. The details, from the gold elastic bands to the gold corners, are just perfect. Click HERE.
Kate Spade Cameron Street Agenda – Photo credit: amazon.com
Kate Spade Cameron Street Agenda
Get clarity and intention with this stylish and practical Kate Spade agenda. Featuring 17 month fillers, laminated dividers and 14k gold plated hardware, this agenda means business! Click HERE.
Like A Boss Mouse Pad – Photo credit: amazon.com
Like A Boss Mouse Pad
Stay inspired and productive with this colorful, optimized for comfort Like a Boss mouse pad. Not only is it a conversation starter, but it’s also designed for extreme comfort with a soft rubber base. It also allows for precision tracking. Click HERE.
kate spade new york Acrylic Stapler – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Kate Spade New York Acrylic Stapler
Thou shalt staple in style! This acrylic stapler is a great addition to your office supplies. And the inscription reading “Keep It Together” is all you need to keep you motivated. Click HERE.
The “nerd” woman in your life will love this Sloane stationary “geek chic” notebook. This embossed, soft-cover notebook will keep you on track and in productivity. Click HERE.
kate spade new york Journal – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Kate Spade New York Journal
This cloth-covered, hard cover journal with gold foil accents is the chic companion to any kickass working woman in your life. Click HERE.
This genuine leather laptop sleeve features an exclusive padded lining and front zip pocket for extra storage. The Rebecca Minkoff signature details are as stylish as they are elegant. Click HERE.
Glitter iPhone Case – Photo credit: amazon.com
Glitter iPhone Case
This is the perfect phone companion for any fabulous working woman who wants some bling in her life. Click HERE.
These headphones are as stylish as they’re comfortable and efficient. The memory foam cushions are molded to fit your ears, while the stain-resistant leather is both practical and a magnet for compliments. Click HERE.
Wireless Bluetooth Headphones – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Wireless Bluetooth Headphones
These wireless bluetooth headphones are as simple as they are efficient. Whether you use them alone or share them with a friend, the built-in sensitive microphones will ensure perfect sound. Click HERE.
Michael Kors Rose Gold Watch – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Michael Kors Rose Gold Watch
This rose gold watch will keep her on time and fabulous! Click HERE.
Mint Boss Lady Mug – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Mint Boss Lady Mug
For any Boss Lady in your life! This mug will remind her to keep thriving in all areas of her life! Click HERE.
Chic and stylish are two words to define this adorable mug! The working woman in your life will get a kick out of it (as well as out of the coffee she’ll be sipping out of it)! Click HERE.
Real Lightweight Leather and Ponte Jacket – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Real Lightweight Leather and Ponte Jacket
Nothing like a statement leather jacket to give the working woman in your life a pep in your step! This moto-inspired jacket is perfect with any workwear or weekend wear. Click HERE.
Tweed Jacket With Trim – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Tweed Jacket With Trim
A classic tweed jacket like this one will be a perfect addition to any professional woman’s workwear. Click HERE.
Successful Women Speak Differently: 9 Habits That Build Confidence, Courage, and Influence – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Successful Women Speak Differently: 9 Habits That Build Confidence, Courage, and Influence
Give her the gift of confidence, courage and influence with this amazing book by best-selling author and life strategist Valorie Burton. Click HERE.
In the Company of Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Makers, Artists, and Entrepreneurs – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
In the Company of Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Makers, Artists, and Entrepreneurs
Offer her the gift of inspiration with this chef-d’oeuvre featuring over 100 exceptional women sharing business advice about following your passion. Click HERE.
The Motivation Manifesto – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
The Motivation Manifesto
Give her the gift of motivation with this best-selling exceptional book by renowned high-performance coach Brendon Burchard. It will be a great way to inspire her to own her personal freedom. Click HERE.
Brasilla Small Duffel Bag – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Brasilla Small Duffel Bag
Inspire her to keep in shape with this Nike Brasilla small duffel bag. This water-resistant and stylish bag will be her favorite go-to as she rushes out to the gym. Click HERE.
Diablo Small Duffel Limited Edition – Photo credit: www.amazon.com
Diablo Small Duffel Limited Edition
Perfect for the busy working woman on the go, this small duffel bag is great for any gym run. Click HERE.
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Scandal’s 6th season just wrapped up a few days ago, and it’s just been announced that the show will end at Season 7 next year. I mean, saying that it’s bittersweet is an understatement…
Who’s going to give me all kinds of fashion goals and awaken my swagger onThursday nights again? And how can I ever get over the Olivia-President Fitzgerald romance being cut short? How am I supposed to handle all this “getting ready to say goodbye” stuff? I can barely make it through the airport, any airport, without crying with strangers about other strangers leaving them, as everyone’s looking at me wondering why this Black woman is hugging it out with the Polish family she’s never seen until two minutes ago…But I digress…
This is deeper than just spiritually parting ways with the confusing, sweet evil of Poppa Pope, while holding dear Mama’s Pope words in the season finale that so many Black women can identify with:
No, this is like hanging around with your girl crush for six whole TV seasons, and seeing yourself, for once, in a light you’re not often allowed to thrive in. It’s staring at your alter ego in her fierce face, as you rise in power inside all the while mumbling powerful affirmations like “It’s handled” of “No one takes Olivia Pope”.
But you already knew the revolution Olivia Pope has created for Black women everywhere. What you may not have suspected is how much it was (and still is) needed.
As a Black working woman in a world that may disqualify me from the get-go, sometimes, many times, all I need to handle the fear, the barriers, the opposition is an Olivia. Not as a fictional TV character inspired by a somewhat distant reality, but as a symbol of what CAN be.
When you can’t see in the eye of your mind what’s possible, you’re tempted to feed in to the negative rhetoric of society. To see yourself as the “angry Black woman”, the catty Black woman on reality TV, or the powerless Black woman and single mom on welfare. Because that’s what society and the media feed us, right?
But then… enter Black women like Olivia Pope, written into life by Black women like Shonda Rhimes, as Black women like you and I sit at the edge of our own stories and face all of our power. Not just the power to make it, to survive, to carry everyone on our shoulders, but the power to be at the top of our games, to be outrageously, ridiculously successful, to write the rules, our own rules, and never once apologize for it.
You know how they say “you’re pretty for a Black girl”, or “you did well for yourself for a Black women”? And everyone nods and pretends not to notice the invisible wall there…Well, Olivia handled that wall, she crushed it and then came back to show us what that looks like when Black women can rise to such outrageous heights History has to rewrite its own narrative…
This is not about beating the odds anymore. It’s about smashing them, grinding them to a pulp, and molding them like Play-doh into the most fabulous staircase to success. Bam!
“How does it feel to be the most powerful person in the world?” Cyrus asked Olivia in the last episode of Season 6. Notice he said “the most powerful person”, not the “most powerful woman”. And for once, it’s a woman, a Black woman, who has all that power, as she sits on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with a bottle of red wine and the outrageous sparkle of victory in her eyes…
So yes, I’m already mourning the end of “Scandal” and my Thursday night powerful pow-wows with my girl crush over some red wine and crazy tweets….So I’m preparing to do what we do when we have one last summer with the bestie, one last season with the girl crush, we get the wine ready and keep the best for last….
What about you? What are your thoughts on Scandal ending?
