In this podcast episode, I’m chatting about dismantling the myth that confidence is solely associated with male and patriarchal attributes such as assertiveness, boldness, and even aggressiveness. Instead, I discuss my own journey of steering away from the conventional definition of confidence, and re-defining my own brand of “quiet” confidence as a working woman and mom.
This episode covers research concepts such as the confidence bias and the confidence gap, digging into how these affect the perception of confidence for and by working women and moms.
In this episode, I discuss re-defining confidence as working women and moms by 1) confronting our own confidence bias, 2) discovering our own “zone of confidence”, and 3) embodying what confidence means for and to us as working women.
Listen in!
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
Do you dread networking as a working woman? Do you lack the motivation, and frankly the time to event think about networking? Do you think networking is out of your reach?
I was there. As a busy working woman and mom, and an introvert to boot, networking felt like an impossible mountain to climb in my career…until I redefined networking for myself, and by extension, for many, if not most women around me.The reality is, as working women and moms, we have our own way of networking. As a matter of fact, while as women, we are said to network less than their male counterparts, we actually have the potential to be master networkers. When I realized this, it became easier for me to think of networking differently, and start networking on my own terms. And this is exactly what I discuss in this e-book…
From the need for preparation to drafting your own elevator pitch, not to mention how to successfully network and building your power network in your own way, this e-book will help you navigate through the complexities of networking for working women, including introverted women. Most importantly, it will teach you to build networking into the fabric of your days, your career and by extension, your life! This will change how you think about networking not just at work, but in any area of your life…
If you’ve ever struggled with networking like I did, or want to redefine networking for yourself as a working woman, this ebook is for you! Share it with one of two of your girlfriends and watch the idea, and the reality, of networking, go from impossible and dreadful, to an enjoyable process you can engage in on your own terms…
Oh…and if you enjoy it, please leave me a review and keep sharing it!
It’s the beginning of a new year, and you may be wondering which direction to take your career in in the next few months. As a matter of fact, this may very well be the question you ask yourself at the beginning of every year. As much as you may be excited (or not) at the prospect of a clean slate of time ahead of you, you may not be sure of the best way to strategize your career going forward. As a working woman and mom, you may not even have the time to devote to thinking about it as you juggle all the plates you have balancing in the air. Career strategy? How about a strategy to get through last week’s laundry?
The reality is, not having a career strategy in the long run, may leave you without a sense of purpose in your career, along with the feeling that you’re somehow stagnating professionally. In the worst case scenario, it may end up hurting your overall career prospects. This is even more significant as a working woman who may already be at a professional disadvantage as compared to your male counterparts as a result of the various gender-based biases experienced by women in the workplace, from the gender pay gap to the glass ceiling or concrete wall for women of color, to cite a few.
If you’re reading this and nodding along, you certainly are not alone. It took me decades to understand the importance of strategy as a crucial component of our careers, especially as working women and moms. I remember once when I was still in the corporate trenches, one of my mentors telling me: “It’s as if they put all the men in one room, and told them the rules of a game we were never told about.” By “we”, she meant professional women in general. Years later, I realized the rules of the game she was referring to, were really ways to strategize one’s career. Yet, I could not help wonder at the time: “How about the value of hard work? How about endlessly proving yourself by going above and beyond? Wasn’t that supposed to be the only career strategy?” Right? Wrong…
For many women like myself, hard work, endless dedication and unending service are often confused with an actual career strategy. Actually, it’s a mindset that has been tacitly imposed on women for the longest time, falsely rewarding us with the praise of self-sacrifice and devotion in and out of the workplace. So much so that working hard at work and working hard at home became the norm, until it wasn’t, that is…
With the advent of the work revolution during and after the COVID 19 pandemic, many women have been redefining the meaning of work in their lives and careers. From the “Great Breakup” to the “she-cession”, women have begun and continued abdicating the heavy crown of thorns that is underpaid, inequitable work and unpaid household labor, in favor of increased equity on the work and home fronts. Many women are choosing to start their own businesses as an alternative to underpaid careers riddled with gender bias and inequities. Others are opting for flexible schedules allowing them to strive in all their roles and capacities. Others yet again are stepping completely out of the career path, choosing to refocus on themselves and their families.
What this also means as women’s work is being reinvented, is that women’s career strategies also have to be reinvented accordingly. It’s no longer about emulating a masculine model of work, founded on a patriarchal system relying on women’s free labor and on the paradigm of trading time for elusive and unsustainable success. Nor is it about abandoning purposeful ambition in favor of choosing the safe harbor of inaction and passivity. Instead, it’s about aligning our career strategies with the priorities and values guiding us as women in and outside of the workplace.
Here are three steps that may help:
Outlining your priorities
Have you been operating on everyone else’s priorities and timetable but your own? I know I did too…Too often, it’s all about what’s urgent at work, what needs to get done on the home front, and everything else in between. As a result, it’s easy to have an entire career and life based off of priorities that are not yours.
What are your work priorities? What areas of your career are most important to you? What are your personal and collective priorities? How can these be aligned in a way so as to feed off of and serve each other?
As I started outlining my own career and personal priorities, I realized flexibility in my various roles as mother, partner, and professional, as well as being able to practice my writing and teaching craft, are at the top of my list. This has led me to orient myself toward a career that offers me a flexible environment, and encourages me to practice my craft.
Eliminate or delegate unpaid or invisible labor
One of the biggest obstacles to women’s careers is the “extra” fluff that gets in the way of the true, purposeful work. From excessive and unwarranted amounts of invisible and unpaid service work, to the unseen mental and household load, there are too many silent and frustrating obstacles in the path of women’s work.
Part of devising a successful career strategy as a working woman is addressing these obstacles. Reducing or streamlining the amount of service work is one way to do so, whether through less volunteering or bringing increased attention to the need to share the service load in the workplace. Having honest conversations followed by intentional action at home to help share the household labor and mental load can also go a long way. Underneath it all, ridding yourself of the guilt of not doing it all is also essential.
Applying the rule of 80/20
The rule of 80/20, also known as the Pareto rule, essentially dictates that 80% of our efforts produce 20% of our results. While this rule is most often used in business, it can be extended to any area of work or life. From a career perspective, it is a call to focus on the 20% of inputs that will produce the most, and best, results.
What are your most valuable skills that produce your best results at work? Are you most gifted at writing, public speaking, networking, research, analysis, or any other area? Can you capitalize on those skills to guide and direct you towards the areas and projects that you would be most successful at and prioritize those? Conversely, can you steer away from those areas and projects that do not use your best inputs and as a result do not produce your best outcomes?
Applying the rule of 80/20 in my career and life has been, and still is, much of a work in progress. While it’s been challenging to focus more on my most impactful skills and best outcomes, as opposed to desperately trying to do it all, it’s certainly paying off. One of the greatest side effects is the lessened amount of stress going into managing work and life. The greatest benefit yet is in being aligned with my purpose, and using what I have to do the work I’m supposed to do.
All in all, the right career strategy can be one of the most important tools for working women and moms to thrive in and outside of work. Devising a powerful strategy is about being aligned with one’s vision and values, setting the appropriate priorities, focusing on the best returns and reducing invisible and unaligned work. While it’s certainly not an easy feat, and very much a work in progress, it’s also one of the most profitable career and life investments.
How are you strategizing your career at the beginning of the year?
In this podcast episode, I discuss making peace with ambition as working women and moms. For the longest time, ambition has been a double-edged sword for working women and moms. However, in this post-COVID pandemic area, women are redefining ambition for themselves…
Listen in!
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
As I started my career as a young professional woman, I was barely aware that I could negotiate my salary, let alone anything else. As I became a mother, it didn’t occur to me until a long time that I could negotiate for benefits including flexibility and other family-friendly benefits. While I was too preoccupied with being accepted and valued at work, I did not think I had the room, the authority or the permission
In today’s fast-paced work environment, achieving a work-life balance is crucial, especially for working momsjuggling both career and family responsibilities. This is where negotiating flexible schedules and family-friendly policies can significantly improve working moms’ quality of life. For many, the traditional 9-to-5 work model may not align with the demands of parenting, self-care, social relations and life in general.
According to the U.S. Labor Bureau of Statistics, 73% of moms with children under 18 years of age were employed in 2022. Among these, many working mothers are also the breadwinners in their households, as confirmed by data from the Center for American Progress. With such an overwhelming number of mothers in the workforce, the need for family-friendly policies cannot be overstated. As a matter of fact, research clearly shows family friendly policies such as dependent care and leave benefits have a significant positive and moderating effect on work-family conflict created by work demand.
From enabling moms to pick up their children from school, attend doctor’s appointments, or simply spend more quality time with their families, flexible schedules and family-friendly policies allow working mothers to better integrate work and family life. They also help relieve moms of sometimes overwhelming stress from juggling work and family responsibilities, thus also promoting mental well-being. Lastly, they also tend to increase job satisfaction and loyalty, leading to a more committed and productive workforce. This is not to mention promoting gender equality as well, thus contributing to closing the gender gap in the workplace, allowing mothers to progress in their careers while still nurturing their families.
If you’re a working mom looking to negotiate a more flexible work arrangement, here are a few tips that may help:
1. Know Your Needs and Boundaries
Before initiating negotiations, it’s crucial to have a clear understanding of your needs and boundaries.
What type of flexibility do you need? (e.g., remote work, adjusted hours)
How will this benefit both you and your employer?
What are your non-negotiable boundaries?
Having a firm grasp of your requirements will make your negotiation more effective.
2. Research your Company Policies
Familiarize yourself with your company’s policies regarding flexible work arrangements. Some organizations already have guidelines in place you may consult online or through their human resources department. Understanding these policies can help you navigate the negotiation process more effectively.
3. Prepare a Compelling Proposal
Create a well-thought-out proposal that outlines the benefits of a flexible schedule. Consider how it will positively impact your productivity, work-life balance, and job satisfaction. Use data and examples to support your case.
4. Highlight Your Performance
Emphasize your track record of delivering results. Make it clear that your request for flexibility won’t compromise your ability to meet work objectives. Demonstrate your commitment to maintaining or even enhancing your performance.
5. Suggest Solutions to Potential Concerns
Anticipate and address any potential concerns your employer may have. For instance, if your request is for remote work, propose solutions for maintaining effective communication and collaboration with your team. Show that you’ve thought through the practicalities.
6. Initiate the Conversation Professionally
Arrange a meeting with your supervisor to discuss your proposal. Approach the conversation professionally and non-confrontationally. Express your desire to find a solution that benefits both you and the organization.
7. Be open!
During the negotiation, actively listen to your employer’s perspective. Be open to compromises or adjustments based on their feedback. Flexibility should be a two-way street.
8. Propose a Trial Period
To ease your employer’s concerns, propose a trial period for the flexible schedule. This allows both parties to test the arrangement and make adjustments if necessary. It also provides an opportunity to demonstrate its effectiveness.
9. Be Aware of your Legal Rights
Familiarize yourself with local labor laws and regulations regarding flexible work arrangements. Knowing your rights can help ensure that your negotiated agreement aligns with legal standards and protections.
10. Document the Agreement
Once you and your employer reach an agreement, make sure it’s documented in writing. Include all the terms and conditions of your flexible schedule, ensuring clarity for both parties.
In addition to flexible schedules, you may also negotiate family-friendly policies to better support you as a working mom. Here are some tips as you prepare to get to the negotiation table:
1. Know the Available Benefits
Research the family-friendly benefits offered by your organization. These may include maternity and paternity leave, childcare support, lactation rooms, or flexible spending accounts for dependent care.
2. Highlight the Benefits for the Company
When negotiating family-friendly policies, emphasize how these benefits can positively impact the company. For example, shorter maternity leave may lead to quicker return to work and reduced turnover.
3. Connect with your Peers
Talk to colleagues who have successfully negotiated family-friendly policies. They can offer insights, share their experiences, and provide guidance on the negotiation process.
4. Align with the Company Culture
Frame your request in a way that aligns with your company’s values and culture. Emphasize how these policies can contribute to a more inclusive and supportive workplace.
5. Consider a Personal Support System
If possible, involve HR or a mentor in the negotiation process. Having a support system can help ensure that your needs are heard and addressed effectively.
6. Negotiate Flexibility Within Policies
While some family-friendly policies may be standard, there may be room for negotiation within these policies. For example, if your company offers childcare support, negotiate the flexibility to choose the childcare provider that best suits your family’s needs.
7. Stay Informed About any potential Changes
Be aware of any changes or updates to family-friendly policies within your organization. This can help you stay current and take advantage of new opportunities.
8. Document Policy Agreements
Just like with flexible schedules, ensure that any agreements related to family-friendly policies are documented in writing. This creates a clear record of what was negotiated and agreed upon.
Negotiating flexible schedules and family-friendly policies as a working With effective strategies, you can navigate the negotiation process effectively and create a work environment that supports your needs as both a dedicated professional and a loving parent.
Are you negotiating family-friendly policies and flexible work arrangements as a working mom?
