by Solange Lopes | Apr 15, 2014 | Career |
Grieving at work – madamenoire.com
Happy Tuesday!
When Death knocks on the door of Life, there is not much any of us can do. As much as life goes on, and we all have to make do with the reality of the absence of a loved one, it’s still a process that is made easier and more difficult at the same time by the everyday occupations and distractions we all have to partake in, like…work!
As driven, corporate sisters, we also are emotional human beings, and dealing with the loss of a loved one and finding the strength to go back to work and keep carrying on with our professional responsibilities is at times beyond imaginable. And that is when we can even take time off, as bereavement leave is not necessarily required by the Fair Labor Standards Act or the Family Medical Leave Act.
As comforting as it may be to share our grief with co-workers and managers, not all workplaces may be open to it. Less friendly workplaces cast a negative light on so-called “excessive displays of emotion” at work, and expect the same level of professionalism from individuals who’ve just been through traumatic and life-altering circumstances. In addition, for many of us, the pressures of “keeping it together” to sustain our families or even just to save appearances and not disappoint, put us at risk of not processing our emotions properly and failing to grieve in a healing, redemptive manner.
Yet, as “unfriendly” or supportive as some corporate environments may be, we have to find ways to cope with grief while still upholding the highest of professional standards at work, and without losing our sanity in the process:
- Take time off if you can! If your workplace allows for time off, take the allotted time to grieve! I used to work with a successful corporate sister who would not allow herself to take more than the afternoon off when her dad passed, because there was so much work to do and she needed the distraction. However, what she failed to notice is that her lack of grieving turned into a full-blown depression a few months later. So even if you’re not sure how to process your pain, take the time off!
- Talk about it at work! As counter-intuitive as this may sound for some of us, even in less friendly workplaces, talking about your grief and experience can make a world of difference! In more supportive environments, your manager and co-workers may be able to provide comfort and alleviate some of your work burden. Even in less supportive workplaces, simply communicating your availability will help avoid painful misunderstandings.
- Be kind to yourself! In a corporate culture that is all about going, going, going, we often forget as corporate sisters to slow down and take care of ourselves first. Especially when our own sanity and ability to produce results depends so much on it…Exercise, meditate, drink water, even when all you want to do is curl up on the couch or get distracted with that next project at work. Nurture your body and soul, and find a quiet place and time in the midst of the craziness to call your own…Your mind and body will thank you, and so will your career…
Ever experienced grief in the workplace? How did you cope with it?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Mar 6, 2014 | Career
OKMYOUTFIT.COM
Happy Thursday!
Today, I would like to share with you an amazing website, along with its co-founders, that will revolutionize the way we think about fashion, as busy yet nonetheless stylish corporate sisters. While we do understand that appearance is certainly an important denominator in the professional, and specifically the corporate game, we often have a hard time combining our search for the right, work-appropriate yet stylish wardrobe, with our otherwise crammed schedules. So we pick up items on the fly, hoping that they will fit us, or make time for that one shopping spree a year, during which we absolutely go broke in the hopes of gathering THE perfect wardrobe. What is there actually were a cost-effective, time-saving alternative to the business of dressing, and dressing well, for work?
Diana Melencio and John Orekunrin are the co-founders of OKMYOUTFIT (OMO), a web service dedicated to helping busy professionals build their wardrobe by collaborating with expert stylists, thus having access to the professional fashion advice most people dream of. I’ve had the privilege of speaking to both Diana and John, and was sold on their ideas. I hope you will too, and will check out OKMYOUTFIT for yourself…
1. Diana/John, can you please tell us more about yourselves and how you came up with the idea for OKMYOUTFIT?
JO: Diana and I started OMO because we value the importance of looking good but lacked the fashion expertise and time to find clothes that suit our style. We saw that a lot of our friends share the same problem. So we created OMO as a solution.
Our original idea was to let anyone in the community provide their opinion on other members’ outfits, but we quickly realized that our users wanted expert style advice and not another rate-my-outfit site. So we brought on talented stylists and combined their expert style advice along with top brands to provide our users a truly bespoke personal styling and shopping experience.
2. In the busy world of professionals, how important do you think appearance is, and how do you see OKMYOUTFIT fitting into it?
DM: What you wear and how you present yourself is the first statement you make when you enter a room, so appearance is very important. An outfit that give you confidence and helps sets the tone can mean the difference in an interview or an important meeting.
JO: Busy professionals have the means but, as the term implies, often lack the time and fashion knowledge to put together their best look. OKMYOUTFIT partners busy professionals with stylists so they can get the best looks without the work.
3. Can you describe to us what the services you are offering consist in, and what some of your most competitive rates are?
We provide three different options for our users.
- Professional feedback: This option allows users to get professional feedback on an outfit or item they already own. This feature is great if you are looking for ideas on how to pair items you have in your closet. You can also use it while shopping for items on your own. The response time is fast (within 30 mins) and at a very friendly price of $5.
- Search for an item: The second option allows you to hire a stylist to help you find a specific item (i.e bag, jacket, shoes) to complete your look. Our talented stylists will go to work and find 5 different options of the item you are looking for. Our stylists also provide style tips to go along with your request so you’ll know the best way to style your new find! The price for this service is just $10.
- Head-to-toe look: This option is great for users looking for a complete outfit. The stylist will go to work and help you find 5 items to complete a look for you based on your request. Our stylist pulls from top brands to create a truly bespoke shopping experience for you. They do the hard work of finding amazing pieces to help you look your best. This service is available for just $40.
4. From your experience in the corporate world, what are three most important lessons/principles would you have for corporate sisters?
If we had 3 important lessons for corporate sister, they would be:
- The old adage, dress for the job you want to have not the job you already have. When I was a junior analyst, I still wore suits because that’s what all the portfolio managers and senior executives wore at the firm. I found that I was given far more respect and allowed to sit in on meetings than my fellow analysts that wore less formal attire.
- Don’t underestimate the power of how what you wear affects how you are perceived. For example, if you wear a suit – it will speak to the formality of the setting or authority you have. Whereas wearing a pair of jeans tells the room that it is a casual and collegial setting.
- As a corporate sister rises in ranks, don’t be intimidated when you are surrounded by your male counterparts. Negotiate and discuss with them head-on, without succumbing to emotions. Your words are heard more clearly.
5. What lessons from the corporate world did you apply as you transitioned to entrepreneurship?
DM: Set goals and priorities each week, each day. Something I learned from the “morning call”, which sets the goals and messaging for sales and trading group in an investment firm everyday.
6. What is your vision for OKMYOUTFIT, and how do you plan to achieve it?
JO: Our vision is to help busy professionals everywhere discover their best look. We believe looking your best helps you achieve everyday confidence. We want to provide a seamless styling and personal shopping experience that helps you look your best without the work.
Please check out OKMYOUTFIT, register on the site, get your invitation and embark on a great, cost-effective and efficient fashion experience that will make you reconsider your entire work wardrobe and beyond. For those of you in the New York area, please stop by the
OKMYOUTFIT event with Elie Tahari on March 12!
OKMYOUTFIT.COM
by Solange Lopes | Feb 21, 2014 | Career
Yesterday, we wrote about those things no one tells you about starting a new job, including being borderline romantically involved with IT…After your first day or week or so at your new job, and after all the welcoming smiles, luch invites, the warm-up period is officially over. Now it’s time to get in the flow of things, and actually…work! What? Whoever invented the concept…
When it comes to starting anything, be it a new job, new exercise program, or new habit, the two most common schools of thought are, either you start strong and learn to consistently pace yourself, or start slow and go for the marathon pace.
Well, I recently started taking kickboxing classes, and as with most high-intensity sports disciplines, you’ve got to pick the right approach for you. So I decided to start strong and fight from the start. Why? Well, why not…
Why not establish a competitive advantage from the start, in sports as well as in your career. Your professional reputation is your personal brand, and to build a great one, the best, you’ve got to start at the beginning…And you’ve got to start strong, at least I believe so:
Actively start building your network! Go around and introduce yourself, and respond positively to those who come to introduce themselves. Stop by the big wigs’ offices every now and then to say hi. And don’t forget to offer your help, and ask for them to keep you in mind when interesting projects come along.
Learn, learn, learn! Put on your learning cap and get to digest as much new information as you can. New processes, new people, new titles, new systems…While everything is new and can be quite overwhelming at first, use these first few days and weeks to get acquainted to all the new stuff. Ask as many questions as you can think of, and don’t be shy! The expectation is that you will have questions, so ask away…
Polish your work! Some may think that errors are more acceptable in the beginning, as you’re getting accustomed to the business, company and your department. While some level of learning curve is to be expected, I also believe that as you build your brand and reputation in a new company, showing your best work at first puts you a step ahead of the competition.
As my kickboxing trainer puts it so well: Ready….Fight!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 10, 2014 | Career
blindie.com
Happy Monday! Need a boost to start the week?
There’s one thing that Dear Hubby has been telling me for years since I entered the corporate workforce, that I never pay much attention to. Yet lately as I’ve faced some of my most important, and most life-altering career challenges, I’ve realized that after all, he was right all along.
As corporate sisters, it’s no secret that we tend to not toot our horns as much as our male counterparts in the professional sphere. Generally being dubbed as caretakers and nurtures, many times we tend to give credit to others, or to the team, for our hard work. As we are striving to change the corporate landscape to make more room for women, and especially for minority women, we must teach ourselves to value our work and contributions, even before others do, and even if others don’t…And this is why it is crucial to remember that for a host of different reasons (some funnier and more obvious than others), YOU are the smartest woman in the room:
- Chances are, YOU may be the ONLY woman in the room, and probably the only minority woman in the room: According to the Catalyst, although women’s representation among senior executives grew between 2013 and 2014 from 16.7% to 21.7%, in many a corporate setting, women, and minority women in particular, are still standing alone among their male counterparts.
- Your emotional EQ ranks you higher than you think: While men are better at compartmentalizing their emotions, women tend to have an edge when it comes to perceiving emotions around them and tuning into these. Although this may be perceived as weaknesses, it also empowers women to sense the emotional energy in any room and directly attune their response to it. It is also a crucial factor when it comes to identifying needs of stakeholders and customers alike, and tailor their responses in uniquely effective ways.
- Last but not least, we make others feel like the smartest people in the room: Great leaders do not present themselves as the smartest people in the room, although they may very well be. Instead, women leaders try to inspire through collaborating with and helping others. As a corporate sister, your empathy, collaborative spirit and efforts to inspire others are never wasted, as they definitely show your leadership.
Do you feel like the smartest woman in the room?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 6, 2014 | Career
blackenterprise.com
I bought my first car, a 1999 Toyota Camry that I baptized “Bertha”, from one of the most astute car salesmen I’ve ever met. I’m using the word “astute” now, but believe me, I had other much less flattering words for him during and after the purchase of my beloved “Bertha”. I was fresh out of college, buying my first car alone and without any guidance, so I could travel to all those regional audit assignments. End result: a whopping 16% interest rate on top of an outrageous price for a used car. In other words, I could have driven a luxury car for that price…Anyhoo…
I am not a born salesperson, never was good at it, and frankly never had much of a desire to be good at it. Yet, after years in the corporate world, I am realizing that this terrible salesman left me with something more than an acutely sour taste in my mouth (and gaping hole in my then-young professional savings): he taught me that like in car sales, corporate success is measured by how well you can sell yourself and what you have to offer. And if you have to inflate your value and fake it ’til you make it, well, it may be worth it to close the deal…
- Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate! In car sales as in the corporate world, negotiation is a big part of success. Whether you are promoting your work in preparation for a future raise or promotion, or are seeking additional resources (time, people, money) to accomplish your goals, you are always in negotiation. And that is how you should enter every meeting room, and treat every professional encounter, as mundane as they may seem.
- Resort to Emotions! This one may sound counter-intuitive, especially in the corporate world where women especially are urged to put emotions aside, right? Wrong. We are all human, and we all have emotions. Emotions happen to actually be the vessel through which many a deals are closed. By triggering pleasant emotions in others, or even unpleasant ones that elicit positive outcomes, we can negotiate better results.
- Don’t feel guilty! As women, we tend to feel guilty when we allow ourselves to negotiate for a raise or better benefits at work. However, it is expected that we should negotiate, especially at work, and failing to do so may actually project the wrong kind of impression.
What car salesman techniques to you use at work?
