It’s the beginning of a new year, and you may be wondering which direction to take your career in in the next few months. As a matter of fact, this may very well be the question you ask yourself at the beginning of every year. As much as you may be excited (or not) at the prospect of a clean slate of time ahead of you, you may not be sure of the best way to strategize your career going forward. As a working woman and mom, you may not even have the time to devote to thinking about it as you juggle all the plates you have balancing in the air. Career strategy? How about a strategy to get through last week’s laundry?
The reality is, not having a career strategy in the long run, may leave you without a sense of purpose in your career, along with the feeling that you’re somehow stagnating professionally. In the worst case scenario, it may end up hurting your overall career prospects. This is even more significant as a working woman who may already be at a professional disadvantage as compared to your male counterparts as a result of the various gender-based biases experienced by women in the workplace, from the gender pay gap to the glass ceiling or concrete wall for women of color, to cite a few.
If you’re reading this and nodding along, you certainly are not alone. It took me decades to understand the importance of strategy as a crucial component of our careers, especially as working women and moms. I remember once when I was still in the corporate trenches, one of my mentors telling me: “It’s as if they put all the men in one room, and told them the rules of a game we were never told about.” By “we”, she meant professional women in general. Years later, I realized the rules of the game she was referring to, were really ways to strategize one’s career. Yet, I could not help wonder at the time: “How about the value of hard work? How about endlessly proving yourself by going above and beyond? Wasn’t that supposed to be the only career strategy?” Right? Wrong…
For many women like myself, hard work, endless dedication and unending service are often confused with an actual career strategy. Actually, it’s a mindset that has been tacitly imposed on women for the longest time, falsely rewarding us with the praise of self-sacrifice and devotion in and out of the workplace. So much so that working hard at work and working hard at home became the norm, until it wasn’t, that is…
With the advent of the work revolution during and after the COVID 19 pandemic, many women have been redefining the meaning of work in their lives and careers. From the “Great Breakup” to the “she-cession”, women have begun and continued abdicating the heavy crown of thorns that is underpaid, inequitable work and unpaid household labor, in favor of increased equity on the work and home fronts. Many women are choosing to start their own businesses as an alternative to underpaid careers riddled with gender bias and inequities. Others are opting for flexible schedules allowing them to strive in all their roles and capacities. Others yet again are stepping completely out of the career path, choosing to refocus on themselves and their families.
What this also means as women’s work is being reinvented, is that women’s career strategies also have to be reinvented accordingly. It’s no longer about emulating a masculine model of work, founded on a patriarchal system relying on women’s free labor and on the paradigm of trading time for elusive and unsustainable success. Nor is it about abandoning purposeful ambition in favor of choosing the safe harbor of inaction and passivity. Instead, it’s about aligning our career strategies with the priorities and values guiding us as women in and outside of the workplace.
Here are three steps that may help:
Outlining your priorities
Have you been operating on everyone else’s priorities and timetable but your own? I know I did too…Too often, it’s all about what’s urgent at work, what needs to get done on the home front, and everything else in between. As a result, it’s easy to have an entire career and life based off of priorities that are not yours.
What are your work priorities? What areas of your career are most important to you? What are your personal and collective priorities? How can these be aligned in a way so as to feed off of and serve each other?
As I started outlining my own career and personal priorities, I realized flexibility in my various roles as mother, partner, and professional, as well as being able to practice my writing and teaching craft, are at the top of my list. This has led me to orient myself toward a career that offers me a flexible environment, and encourages me to practice my craft.
Eliminate or delegate unpaid or invisible labor
One of the biggest obstacles to women’s careers is the “extra” fluff that gets in the way of the true, purposeful work. From excessive and unwarranted amounts of invisible and unpaid service work, to the unseen mental and household load, there are too many silent and frustrating obstacles in the path of women’s work.
Part of devising a successful career strategy as a working woman is addressing these obstacles. Reducing or streamlining the amount of service work is one way to do so, whether through less volunteering or bringing increased attention to the need to share the service load in the workplace. Having honest conversations followed by intentional action at home to help share the household labor and mental load can also go a long way. Underneath it all, ridding yourself of the guilt of not doing it all is also essential.
Applying the rule of 80/20
The rule of 80/20, also known as the Pareto rule, essentially dictates that 80% of our efforts produce 20% of our results. While this rule is most often used in business, it can be extended to any area of work or life. From a career perspective, it is a call to focus on the 20% of inputs that will produce the most, and best, results.
What are your most valuable skills that produce your best results at work? Are you most gifted at writing, public speaking, networking, research, analysis, or any other area? Can you capitalize on those skills to guide and direct you towards the areas and projects that you would be most successful at and prioritize those? Conversely, can you steer away from those areas and projects that do not use your best inputs and as a result do not produce your best outcomes?
Applying the rule of 80/20 in my career and life has been, and still is, much of a work in progress. While it’s been challenging to focus more on my most impactful skills and best outcomes, as opposed to desperately trying to do it all, it’s certainly paying off. One of the greatest side effects is the lessened amount of stress going into managing work and life. The greatest benefit yet is in being aligned with my purpose, and using what I have to do the work I’m supposed to do.
All in all, the right career strategy can be one of the most important tools for working women and moms to thrive in and outside of work. Devising a powerful strategy is about being aligned with one’s vision and values, setting the appropriate priorities, focusing on the best returns and reducing invisible and unaligned work. While it’s certainly not an easy feat, and very much a work in progress, it’s also one of the most profitable career and life investments.
How are you strategizing your career at the beginning of the year?
Most people who know me well know I’m serious about money. I’m an accountant by trade, who also happens to teach accounting, which also means finances are often on my mind. Truthfully, I always had an inkling for it, not just when it became my main field of study and work. I believe I can trace it to my upbringing, being raised in a single parent family home by a single mother who taught me the importance of managing what you have, and managing it well. It later morphed into a desire to never go without, a search for the tangible, palpable security the little girl in me had not been able to find growing up without a father’s presence…This is why it’s so important for me to have a financial sense of direction, especially at the beginning of the year. This year, I am going one step further than setting up my usual financial plan and budget, and actually am setting on the path to creating a financial mission statement for myself and my family…
And this is not at random…As a Black woman, mother, wife, professional, among so many other hats I, like other women, wear, I am all too aware of the financial disparities and challenges faced by women. These challenges not only affect women’s levels of financial literacy, but also their financial well-being, and access to financial support and tools to acquire, develop and generate wealth.
According to the 2022 Survey of Household Economics and Decision-Making, women are 79% less likely to pay their bills on time than their male counterparts (84%). They are also shown to be 52% less likely than men to have sufficient emergency savings to cover three months of expenses than men (at 56%). Lastly, the survey reveals women are 15% more likely to have upped their debt and credit card usage, as opposed to only 12% of men. While the gender wage gap certainly contributes to these statics, increasing childcare costs and the effects of inflation are also notable contributing factors that put women at constant financial risk.
Research also shows there is an acute gender gap in financial literacy explained by household specialization. This occurs when men specialize in financial decisions for the household, while women get confined to other household functions. As a matter of fact, the UBS 2019 Global Investor Watch found that globally, only 23% of women handle long-term financial planning decisions. A majority of women worldwide (57%) keep deferring critical financial decisions to their spouses, with millennial women surprisingly displaying this behavior.
All these reasons (and more) make it not only necessary, but absolutely indispensable for women in particular, to build a solid financial house in order to protect themselves and their families. This is where a financial mission statement goes a step further than a simple financial plan or budget.
A financial mission statement, or wealth mission statement, articulates your unique financial vision, in alignment with your own values, goals and principles, to help you define the steps you need to take to thrive financially. In this sense, it’s not just about following a series of popular, albeit financial guru-approved, rules and regulations. It’s about diving deep into what financially matters to you as a woman, mother, wife, sister and friend, and devise your own path towards the objectives that are uniquely ours.
If, like myself, you are yearning for finances that reflect who you are and what you deem important, here are a few steps that may help to build your financial mission statement:
Articulate your financial vision
Vision is everything. One of my favorite Bible verses is Proverbs 29:18, “Without vision, the people perish.” Often, especially when it comes to finances, we as women tend to adhere to other people’s visions, whether it’s our spouse’s, families’, or whatever financial authority is trending at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big Suze Orman fan. However, what I’ve come to understand, is there is a BIG difference between being inspired by someone’s advice, and having one’s own vision.
What is your financial vision? What do you see, in the eye of your mind, happening for you and your family financially in the next year and beyond? Where do you financially see yourself and your loved ones in the next year, the next five or even ten years? Not just in terms of owning the rarest Birkin bag (which can serve as an investment piece, but that’s a discussion for another day), but in terms of your financial house of spending, savings, and investments?
These are crucial questions that do not just enlist your ability to dream about an abundant future. They are also questions that prompt your sub-conscious to envision a financial future reflective of your personality, history, and desires, but also of your self-perceived limitations and traumas.
Lay down your financial values, goals and principles
What do you value when it comes to your finances? What are you household and family values in terms of money? Where is it important for you to spend, save or invest?
Defining what you value as an individual, and together as a family, is a crucial step in refining your sense of financial purpose and direction. For me, tithing and investing in my children’s education are priorities, based on my own sense of values, but also my story and my mindset. What are financial priorities for you and your family?
Decide on your financial actions for the next year
What financial actions will you be taking based on your vision, values and principles? What goals will those actions lead you to? What are the steps that will get you there?
Reflecting on your financial vision and laying down your financial values, goals and principles, are the prelude to deciding on your financial actions for the future. Usually, these decisions come first, at the expensive cost of proper alignment with one’s authentic vision, purpose and values. It is then no wonder that most of our financial goals end up being abandoned after only a few weeks or months…
All in all, building a financial mission statement is a powerful exercise in laying a solid financial foundation against which to pursue goals well aligned with our unique vision and values. It also provides us with the opportunity to reflect on our core principles and what guides us in general, and question some of our core beliefs as well. For me, it’s been a revelatory process of self-discovery and self-realignment, a journey of sorts into the paradigms I’ve been upholding about money. After all, it’s deeper than money, it’s about who we are, what we believe in and where we are going…
Have you ever built your own financial mission statement?
Every year, the resolution frenzy takes over, as people all around the world make a list, however much realistic (or not), of goals they plan to accomplish during the new year. And yes, I was “people” for the longest time (and I still am)…
Making a list of changes, however unrealistic, at the beginning of the year, somehow feels like a relief when faced with the unpredictable newness of another turn around the sun. It feels good to etch ideals of achievement, goals and behaviors on a virgin slate of time… As if laying these down on paper, or even uttering them in the atmosphere of a still pregnant future, would make them magically turn into reality…
For many years, as an overachieving perfectionist, a mom, wife, professional, I would partake in the same resolution ritual, peppered with slight variations in form, loud empowering affirmations and frail temporary faith here and there. Yet every year, it would be the same walk down the hallway of resolution shame, barely hanging on by a thread of watered down excuses… until the following year, that is…
At the end of last year, I finally, and quite ungracefully bowed out of the annual resolution dance, less out of an urge to do better and more out of sheer exhaustion. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired… The same goals and strategies that have been hammered on us from year to year, from “waking up earlier” to “getting more organized”, not to mention “making it to the gym this year”, no longer worked for this mama juggling work, kids, home and everything in between…Especially not in the post-COVID era of scarce childcare resources and non-existent parental support…
I needed something else to keep me going…I had just completed a terminal degree that left me running out of steam, while raising a teenager and a tween, and pursuing an academic career I am passionate about. I was out of resolutions, out of stamina, and in serious need of something stronger than black coffee with a spritz of lemon juice and a touch of cinnamon. I needed a mission, beginning with a mission statement…
In his acclaimed book, “The 7 habits of highly effective people”, Stephen Covey discusses the importance of building our own mission statements, whether personal, team or family-oriented. He delves into the power of mission statements when discussing the second habit entitled “Begin with the end in mind”, out of the 7 habits defined in the book.
According to Stephen Covey, a mission statement is about “ defining the personal, moral and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself.” The way I see it, a mission statement is the clear, concise expression of one’s purpose, priorities, along with the actions to live a purposeful, fulfilling, and successful life. It’s a compass of sorts to keep us on the path that is right for us…
As I stepped into the New Year, the idea of a compass, a sense of direction in an otherwise increasingly directionless world, sounded so much more appealing than a set of empty, albeit widely popular, resolutions. As a mom, career woman, wife, along with the other hats I, like so many other women, wear day in and out, it took me decades to realize that popular strategies and mainstream advice do not work for me. As a matter of fact, from talking to so many other women, they hardly work for many, if not most, working women and moms. Hitting the gym three to four times a week, as much of a sound resolution as it may be, is not as practicable for a mom struggling to barely make it to work after dropping off the kids to school and daycare. Neither does the 5am club be much of an option for an exhausted working mom in dire need of sleep. Instead, a sense of direction, a compass that could be adapted to my own purpose, life, circumstances and chaotic kitchen, may just be what the doctor ordered…
So this year, I’m skipping the resolutions, and embracing my own mission. My own mission statement, to be more exact…One as unique as my purpose, priorities, and goals…If like myself, you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of making (and breaking) the same popular resolutions, here are three steps I can suggest to begin the process, inspired from Stephen Covey’s mission statement builder:
Hone in on your Vision
Who do I want to be? What may sound like such a simplistic question holds so many answers as to the direction to take in a new year. Even if the vision is not yet clear, just delineating the character we may envision for ourselves can get us started in the process of framing our mission. This includes digging into what we are passionate about, what drives us, what we can imagine ourselves doing without the time and resource constraints we usually face, especially as working women and moms. It’s visualizing our life’s journey, and using it as the start of the mapping of our own personal missions.
When I first started crafting my mission statement, reflecting on my vision and who I want to be turned out to be quite the interesting exercise. I had anticipated struggling with even beginning to lay down my vision in words. Yet, in the absence of distracting lofty goals and resolutions, it became simpler and so much more enjoyable for me to see in the eye of my mind, through the things I enjoy doing and the childhood dreams I still have, what my vision is.
What is your vision of who you want to be? What if time, resources, and other constraints were no object? What if you cleaned the crowded slate of popular goals and commonly accepted objectives to re-focus on what truly matters to you?
Identify your values and principles
What are your values and principles? What would you like to make a priority going forward? Who are the people who influence you? What are the physical, social, emotional, mental and spiritual activities that you value the most?
Delving into what I value the most was surprisingly refreshing, as opposed to setting far-fetched objectives that raise the already high level of pressure we’re under. It also brought light to many of the things I have been doing that are not in alignment with my values and principles. In a way, it confirmed the sense of direction I had started getting from defining my vision in the first step.
Focus on future contributions and achievements
What can you do going forward to contribute to those around you? How can you use your gifts and talents to do so? When are you at your best to do so? To complete the sense of direction you have started getting from honing in on your vision and defining your values and principles, you can begin focusing on future contributions.
Getting to this third and last part was not quite as laborious as I thought it would be. Armed with a clearer vision and sense of my own values, I was inspired to see how these could serve those I love deeply, and the world at large. I was encouraged by documenting my own gifts and talents, and the concrete ways these could be of service.
What struck me through this process is that actual achievements and contributions only came after refining my vision, values and principles. Unlike the traditional, and popular way of setting goals, this process first led me on a foundational self-introspection journey, before laying any goals down. It did not leave me to fend for myself against far-fetched, misaligned objectives, almost setting me up for unavoidable failure. Instead, it provided direction and guidance.
As I went through each one of these steps to build my own mission statement, I experienced a sense of relief and clarity that resolutions and goals never provided me. For once, I felt in my lane, aligned with the vision that was mine, the values that I believe in, and the contributions I feel inspired to make with the strengths and desires I have. For once, I did not feel like I had to meet some elusive ideal of excellence that was not in line with my authentic self. I felt like I did not just set a destination with no idea as to how I could possibly get there. Instead, I had some sort of a map, or at least the foundation of it, that would lead me back to the only destination worth getting to: myself.
“You don’t need to take that certification, you’re a mom now, just take care of your kids…”
I remember these words like it was yesterday. While they were intended to be well-meaning coming from one of my loved ones, they cut like a knife. I had been trying to get my Certified Public Accounting license for a few months now, and had failed miserably after the first few attempts. I was on the verge of giving up….Had it not been for my wonderfully supportive husband, I probably would have…
This story is not unique. It’s the story of so many ambitious moms trying hard to juggle motherhood, career and everything in between. On one hand, they have so much merit going after their dreams and purpose while taking care of their families, often at the expense of their own well-being. On the other, they are often discouraged to do so, and even criticized and humiliated in the process.
Despite a growing number of working mothers in the U.S. workforce, even after the pandemic, research confirms the discrimination and negative stereotypes against working moms still persist at the hiring stage and beyond. Yet, working moms are still just as ambitious as women without children. They are also returning to work in greater numbers after the pandemic and using the advantage of remote and flexible work, as well as leveraging digital technology, to juggle work and family life. This is in addition to the general ambition bias against women in general, and working moms in particular. Women, and mothers in particular, are often slammed for being ambitious and stepping out of the traditional roles of wife and mother. Actually, being a working mom has been proven to benefit children.
What’s a working mom to do to face the double-edged sword of ambition?
Here are a few steps that can help:
Clarify your values:
Clarifying your values and priorities is the first step to fight this double-edged sword. What is truly important to you? What impact do you want to make on your family, community and the world at large? What do you want your legacy to be? Who do you truly want to be? These are some of the questions that will help you clarify your values and priorities, and help you move in the direction of what truly matters to your authentic self.
Assume your choice:
Even after clarifying what my values and priorities were, I was still in denial for a long time. It is important to assume your choice as an ambition working mother, especially when faced with opposition from the outer world. Accepting yourself and your career as well as your life choices is absolutely imperative when it comes to fighting the stigma of ambition as a working mom.
Create your own brand of motherhood:
Last but not least, clarifying your values and priorities and assuming your choice will lead you to create your own brand of motherhood. What kind of mother do you see yourself being? How do you mother best?
The reality is, ambition truly is a double-edged sword for working moms, both on the professional and on the personal and community front. Yet it is one that moms can use to improve themselves, inspire their family and create a new brand of motherhood for themselves.
How do you fight the double-edged sword of ambition as a working mom?
I remember discussing my very first paid speaking engagement and being unable to even utter a price when asked. Not only did I not know what to ask for, I also did not even have the courage and personal power to determine what I was worth. As a baby entrepreneur, I had to learn what negotiation meant for women in general and women entrepreneurs in particular, and it went beyond just setting a price or rate.
In the world of entrepreneurship, negotiation is a critical skill that can spell the difference between success and stagnation. For women entrepreneurs, navigating this terrain comes with its own unique challenges. Women entrepreneurs often face distinct hurdles in their pursuit of success. Gender biases, stereotypes, and historical imbalances can all play a role in negotiations. However, with the right strategies and mindset, these obstacles can be transformed into opportunities.
1. Cultivate Confidence
Confidence is the bedrock of successful negotiation. Self-assured entrepreneurs are more likely to secure favorable deals. As a woman entrepreneur, believe in your abilities, your business, and your vision. Cultivate self-confidence through continuous learning, networking, and acknowledging your achievements.
2. Master Your Pitch
Your ability to pitch your business idea or product effectively is paramount. Craft a compelling narrative that highlights your unique value proposition. Emphasize how your solution addresses a specific problem or need in the market. Practice your pitch until it flows naturally and persuasively.
3. Research Thoroughly
In negotiation, knowledge is power. Conduct comprehensive research on your potential partners, investors, or clients. Understand their needs, preferences, and pain points. Having data-driven insights at your fingertips will bolster your negotiating position.
4. Embrace Collaborative Negotiation
Strive for win-win outcomes in negotiations. Collaborative negotiation fosters long-term relationships and builds trust. Seek mutually beneficial solutions that align with the interests of all parties involved. This approach not only enhances your reputation but also opens doors to future opportunities.
5. Network Strategically
Networking is an invaluable resource for women entrepreneurs. Attend industry events, join entrepreneurial groups, and connect with mentors and like-minded peers. Building a strong network can provide support, advice, and potential collaborators or investors.
6. Overcome Fear of Rejection
Rejection is an inherent part of entrepreneurship and negotiation. Don’t let the fear of rejection deter you. Every ‘no’ brings you one step closer to a ‘yes.’ Embrace rejection as a learning opportunity and a chance to refine your pitch and approach.
7. Build Resilience
Entrepreneurship can be a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows. Cultivate resilience to weather setbacks and uncertainties. Learn from failures, adapt to changing circumstances, and persevere. Resilience is a key trait of successful entrepreneurs.
8. Develop Active Listening Skills
Effective negotiation requires active listening. Pay close attention to the concerns, needs, and objectives of the other party. By understanding their perspective, you can tailor your proposals to better meet their expectations, increasing the likelihood of a successful outcome.
9. Leverage Your Unique Strengths
Women often bring distinctive qualities to negotiations, such as empathy, intuition, and relationship-building skills. Embrace these strengths as assets that can enhance your negotiation strategies. Show empathy by understanding the needs of your negotiation counterpart, and use your intuition to gauge the dynamics of the negotiation.
10. Practice Negotiation Scenarios
Role-playing negotiation scenarios can sharpen your skills and boost your confidence. Engage in mock negotiations with mentors, peers, or advisors to refine your approach. This practice will help you anticipate challenges and adapt to various negotiation styles.
11. Seek Professional Guidance
Consider seeking the advice of negotiation experts or consultants, especially for high-stakes negotiations. They can provide invaluable insights and strategies to help you secure favorable deals.
12. Be Prepared to Walk Away
Sometimes, the best negotiation tactic is the willingness to walk away from a deal that doesn’t align with your business objectives. Knowing your limits and being ready to decline an unfavorable offer can strengthen your position and lead to better opportunities.
13. Document Agreements
Once a negotiation is successful, ensure that all agreements are documented in writing. Having clear, written contracts helps prevent misunderstandings and disputes down the road.
Negotiation is a core skill for women entrepreneurs aiming to thrive in the world of business. By cultivating confidence, mastering the art of pitching, and embracing a collaborative approach, women entrepreneurs can overcome gender-related challenges and secure the deals and partnerships that drive their businesses forward. Remember that every negotiation is an opportunity for growth, learning, and building a brighter future for your entrepreneurial endeavors.
What challenges are you facing when it comes to negotiating as a woman entrepreneur?
