“How do I even begin to find my purpose?”
“I don’t know what my purpose is.“
“I don’t even have time to sit somewhere for a minute, never mind think about finding my purpose.”
Whenever I start talking about purpose with a fellow working mom or working woman, I get one of these answers, or a variant thereof. Despite all the talks about purpose, many working women and working moms find themselves confused about the whole concept of finding and applying one’s purpose, especially in the midst of unending to-do lists and obligations, whether personal or professional. I remember being quite confused myself as I was transitioning careers, and desperately seeking a sense of purpose in the chaos of change and uncertainty. However, the more I tortured myself with the hard questions, the less it seemed I was finding my way. It wasn’t until I focused on where I was on the way to wherever I was heading at the time, that I was able to make some semblance of progress.
Unlike the many theories being shared from social media to magazines, it doesn’t necessarily take a drastic change at first to find and apply one’s purpose. Most often, it begins with re-assessing oneself, looking at where one currently is and what opportunities are present, and use what one has to expand and grow into the next best level:
- Re-assess yourself
What are your values, beliefs, gifts and talents, both natural and acquired through school or life experience? So often, we drift through life and work not fully aware of WHO we are, especially as working women and working moms who spend so much of our time tending to others’ needs at the risk of forgetting about ourselves. I remember stopping at one point, soon after having my second child, asking myself: “But…who am I now?” So many things had changed and shifted, from my daily schedule to my body and even my thoughts, that I was no longer sure that I even knew myself, hence the need to stop and re-assess, not just once, but periodically throughout my journey. Have you taken the time to stop and re-assess, as a working mom, what your values, beliefs, talents and gifts are, and how you can best use them in your personal and professional life?
- Use the opportunities in front of you
As an overwhelmed working mom and woman a few years back (and a few times a year now), I would mentally stop myself from growing and evolving, both personally and professionally. If you asked me back then, I didn’t have the right connections, the right background, the right education, the right look, the right “anything” really, to get ahead. What I did not consider was the plethora of opportunities in front of me, in my daily professional and personal life, that I could use to put into practice the very values, beliefs, gifts and talents that could serve me well. These were opportunities like this blog, or the networks I was part of, or the countless lessons my job at the time was paying me to learn, in areas such as management, people skills, writing, and so much more. Are you discounting the opportunities in front of and around you, that could serve your growth and evolution well? Are you waiting for the right time, the right degree, the right partner, the right “something” before you put yourself out there? If so, you may have to stop waiting and start leveraging the opportunities that are right in front of you, such as your current job, network, talents and gifts.
- Expand!
You know that feeling of restlessness you may experience in the first hour you get to work, or as you perform the same repetitive tasks day in and day out? It’s not just frustrating, it’s also a warning sign that you’re stagnating into an occupation, a lifestyle, or a relationship that you may well have outgrown. It’s a sign that there is more out there, and that you’re deserving to expand and grow into your next level. Does it mean you should up and quit your job? Or that you should start over today? For some, it might. For most, it’s a sign that it’s time to expand, whether it’s into an extra project at work, another department or company, a new business model, or a side venture that will push you to your next level.
All in all, finding purpose in what you do as a working mom and a working woman, is less a matter of applying some magic, drastic change formula, than of starting where you are and using what you have. What are your values, beliefs, gifts and talents today, at your current personal and professional station? How can you use the opportunities that are in front of and around you to leverage your abilities and personality? Is it time to expand and stop stagnating? If so, what is the smallest step you can take in the direction of growth and expansion?
Let me know in the comments…
The Corporate Sis.
Hello TCS,
Happy 2020!I have not struggled with finding my purpose. What I have waisted a lot of time on is inconsistency. My relationships have made me forget my priorities. Now, it is time to focus and roll out this disease to please. I may be exaggerating when I say disease because I have said no often. The problem is with men,I get passive.