Have you ever introduced yourself by saying something along the lines of “I’m a doctor”, or “I’m a professor”, or whatever your profession may be? Is your job title one of the first things you utter when introducing yourself? Do you have a hard time talking about yourself outside of your job?If you’ve answered any of these questions with a resounding “yes”, or have nodded at any of these, chances are you may have been using your career to define you. And so many working women, and men for that matter.
For the longest time, I extracted much of my value from my career and professional credentials. As a Black woman especially, it seems having a viable and successful career, despite the odds you may be facing, may give you added credibility. It’s hard to enter any networking room without letting your career or professional credits precede you. As much as it may be necessary in some settings, it may also prompt us to define ourselves, not by who we are, but by what we do. This became even more obvious to me as I transitioned careers and had the hardest time detaching myself from what I used to do. I literally had to train my mind to think of myself in a different way, to the point of having to ask myself who I had become in the process of getting so absorbed in my career.
The danger is we often get so imbibed with our work that we fail to keep in touch with ourselves as we grow and evolve. This gets us even further stuck into routines and processes that may not be beneficial for us, since we have lost touch with what our current needs, skills, talents and abilities truly are. As a result, we deprive ourselves of fruitful and beneficial opportunities to create the work and life of our dreams.
In a world that’s obsessed with titles and external appearances on glossy Instagram pages, how can one manage not to let his/her career, as successful as it may be? Does it mean that we would abdicate success in our careers, or miss out on opportunities? Actually not. As a matter of fact, it can actually boost your career. The clearer you are about who you are, even as you grow and evolve, the more you’re able to pour into your career, in a more intentional and successful way.
Here are 7 ways not to let your career define you:
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Re-evaluate your mindset about your career
Much of our mindsets about our careers and the work we do is inherited. Your parents may have passed on some of their beliefs about work. Or it may have been your family and friends, or even your current or past co-workers. These beliefs may have pushed you to define yourself according to your career. In certain cultures for instance, as in many African cultures, many parents direct their children towards prestigious careers such as engineering, medicine, or other similar professions…
This is why it’s so important to re-evaluate and change your mindset about work, and your career in general. Yes, you need to pay the bills and care for yourself and your family. However, you also need, and deserve, to maximize your potential and be fulfilled at work. Which brings us to…
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Learn to decipher your Purpose
There has been a lot of talk recently about purpose and life mission. It seems everywhere you turn, there’s a new slogan about following your purpose and being purposeful. However, the prospect of finding and applying something as big as your purpose can be daunting, and quite frankly, discouraging. It’s much simpler to do the “normal” thing, have a cushy job, climb the corporate or business ladder, pay your bills, and live a regular life.
There was a moment in my own career when I asked myself the question: “Is this it? Is this all there is?” Not that I was ungrateful for the many blessings I had professionally. Yet, as you may have experienced, there was a yearning in me to do more and stretch my potential further, as far as it could go. I just didn’t know how.
The key to learning to decipher one’s Purpose (it’s a process) is to learn to recognize who you are and what you are made of. This often starts with your passions and desires. What do you love to do? What natural skills and talents do you have? What sets you on fire? For me, it was recognizing that I’ve always had a talent and passion for writing. Through this, I uncovered a desire to teach and share as well.
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Understand that your purpose can take different forms at different times of your life
What I came to understand is that Purpose can take many different forms at different points in your life. While your ultimate purpose may be to serve women, for instance, in this season, you may have to stay committed to reaching the top of your industry. In the next season, purpose may take you into business creation and expansion.
The point is, while it’s important to understand your purpose, it’s also crucial not to define yourself by where you’re at on the way to where you’re going.
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Align your career with your purpose
Yes, this is easier said than done. While we often look at the Oprahs of this world, living and working in the fullness of their purpose, it can be a tad bit more challenging when it comes to our lives. After all, we don’t wake up like Beyonce, don’t have Soul Sundays like Oprah, and definitely need our lives fixed by Iyanla. Yet who said aligning our careers with our purpose meant emulating Oprah’s work? Or being as accomplished as Beyonce right away?
As a matter of fact, it may just be as simple as starting with some subtle changes to our schedules and work. Passionate about writing? Start freelancing on the side. In love with fashion design? Consider volunteering on the side or even as part of your 9-to-5 if possible. Eyeing a top position in a discipline you don’t consider yourself qualified for? Consider internal rotations at your company, informational interviews or getting a mentor in this field.
The point is, aligning your career with your purpose is not an overnight process. However, you can begin with a few small steps, from hustling on the side, to volunteering for projects at work, and even sharing your interests and passions. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step…
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Cultivate authentic relationships
One of the reasons why we may tend to define ourselves by the work we do is sometimes because we lack the authentic and genuine support to help us become the best version of ourselves. You’ve heard the saying, you’re the sum of the five people you surround yourself with. The less authentic and the more superficial your relationships, the more you’ll tend to not show up as your most authentic self.
As a result, you may be looking for any external foundation to define yourself, such as your career. The right circle and networks will push you to become the best version of yourself, which in turn will allow you to do your best work intentionally. Yet, it all starts with you!
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Don’t limit yourself
Many of us remain stuck in the box of our careers. If we’ve started a career in a certain field, we feel compelled to stay in the same field for fear of losing the experience and credentials we’ve built over time. I know I was in the same situation. After almost a decade in the corporate world, transitioning careers seemed impossible because I had defined myself this way for so long.
Limiting yourself to your past and current experiences as well as to defining yourself in a certain professional light will keep you from your personal best. Learn to see the many opportunities around you to apply your skills and talents, whether acquired or natural. Besides, you may not realize how much you’re able to re-purpose your experience, even at the personal level, to further professional and personal pursuits.
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Be open to opportunities
Along the same lines, being open to new opportunities, as foreign as they may seem, will also keep you out of a restrictive “career box”. In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes explains how she committed to opening herself to new experiences by simply saying yes to these opportunities. In turn, she was able to tap into her potential and accomplish exploits, as well as achieve progress, she otherwise wouldn’t have been able to.
For me, it’s a matter of being willing to take risks and embrace challenges I may not always be comfortable with. The point is not for you to leave your job tomorrow. Rather, it’s about starting out by looking for ways to say yes to more opportunities to express your interests and passions, be of service, and ultimately achieve your dreams.
Now your turn: Have you allowed your career to define you?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
