So the other day, as we were discussing prospective plans for Father’s Day, I got to asking Dear Hubby a few questions about being a working dad.

“Honey, how does it feel to be a working dad?”

“What do you mean? I work and I’m a dad!”

“Yeah, but, do you feel like you’re stretched thin between your commitments at work and at home? Do you ever feel like you’re in over your head and you just need a break to breathe sometimes?”

“Uuuuhhh… you mean, me or you?”

As you can tell, our conversation didn’t go very far…The more I kept asking what I thought were more and more probing, deep questions about the “human state of being a working dad”, the more Dear Hubby kept looking at me in total bewilderment. And the more passionate I got about transferring my own emotions and frustrations as a working mom onto him, the quieter he got…Hindsight being 20/20, I bet you my morning coffee he must’ve tuned me out by about the second question…

It soon became hilariously obvious that I was transposing my own reality as a professional mom onto this poor guy, who was just trying to have his coffee in peace, and maybe down another piece of organic waffle swimming in full-fat Aunt Jemima syrup…

It’s tough being a working dad (the non-laundry-adverse kind) in a world of working moms…On one hand, you’re praised for loading the laundry machine and earning a decent paycheck (albeit not at the same time), and on the other, you’re scrutinized for not having it as tough as the moms out there. Never mind when you get to work, and have to tread carefully with your female colleagues and bosses not to get caught under that glass ceiling that’s about to get smashed any day now…

Of course, the statistics are here to prove the facts we all know. According to the Pew Research Center, even in homes where both parents work, and where quality time and discipline are shared equally between these, scheduling and sick days still fall on the mother. Additionally, “working moms are more likely than dads to say parenting has interfered with their career progress”. Yet, what’s interesting to see through these stats, is that all in all, both working parents feel the pinch of time spent with the kids, with over 50% of working dads wishing they’s have more time with their little ones.

All humor and stats aside though, as I looked over at my husband, I felt a pinch of inner guilt as I considered all the times I came home from work and let the poor dude have it…About how hard it is to be the only woman in the room…Or how tough women have it, from carrying a baby 9 months to buying all these stretch mark oils to the gender gap and not even being able to wear flats at work once in a  while…All the while he was cooking dinner, giving the kids a bath, and pouring me some Pinot Noir…

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a mea culpa for working moms towards the dads in their lives…Neither is it an absolution from doing the laundry, washing the dishes, or changing diapers in their favorite suit and tie…What this is, is a recognition that somewhere in between the confidence gap, the gender gap, and all these gaps society has created for women in and out of work, there are also those amazing spaces filled by loving, hard-working, and non-laundry-adverse working men out there…

I should know…I was raised by a  single mom, with no dad in sight for the majority of my life…Until I had babies of my own, I didn’t know what a man who’d participate at work and at home, remotely looked like. As a very early feminist and advocate for women, I followed in my mom’s footsteps, and decided to do it on my own. All of it, the work stuff, the house stuff, the bills stuff, the kids stuff, all of it…

Except life has an interesting way of making you look outside of yourself, and in the midst of that struggle you’re in, make you acknowledge you’re not alone in the battle for clean underwear and sleep equality…So for all the non-laundry-adverse, bath-giving, Pinot-Noir-pouring, loving working dads out there, here’s a heartfelt confession and a sweet token of appreciation…

Which you may redeem for a no-laundry pass this week only (please note that it expires on Father’s Day, after which you’d be solely responsible for clean underwear —or the lack thereof)….

PS: Here’s to my favorite working dad in the world, the hubby Walter!

Love,

The Corporate Sis.