Picture this: Bob’s giving a presentation, and is doing a particularly terrible job at it. As he steps into the men’s bathroom during a break, Bill pats him on the shoulder and tells him: “ You’re doing a terrible job, dude. Looks like you’re trying to take off, so much your hands are all over the place. Stop gesturing so much!” Bob takes Bills advice, goes back into the conference room, and does a much better presentation. Now picture the same conversation in the ladies’ room between Mary and Sondra. What do you think Mary would think upon receiving the same piece of advice from Sondra?”
This simple, but compelling example, was given by Pepsico CEO Indra Nooyi at the Women in the World Summit in New York last April 2016. As you can imagine, the remainder of her address had to do with how women receive and give feedback at work.
As women in the workplace, we tend to give less feedback to each other, and be much less receptive to it when we get it from another woman. Which in turn makes for a less supportive work environment where women tend not to support each other.
As I listened to Indra Nooyi’s comments, I could hear many of the same complaints by other fellow women at work, myself included. I could also understand the wrenching feeling of loneliness that stems from it. Yet, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with amazing, supportive women who’ve mentored me through challenging times in my career. And having been on both sides of the spectrum, I’m relieved to say that when feedback is given and received proactively and efficiently between women at work, it can result in outstanding results for both the giver and the receiver.
Unfortunately, it seems this is more the exception than the rule. Especially when it appears women tend to get different feedback than men in the workplace. According to new research, women tend to be described in performance reviews in vague terms such as “supportive”, “helpful” and “collaborative”; while men’s reviews were twice as likely to include words related to their assertiveness, such as “innovate”, “tackle” and “drive”. Men also received 3 times as much feedback about specific business outcomes, and twice as many references related to their technical expertise. Women were also described as more “aggressive”, while men are promoted for taking “personal initiative”.
What’s the solution then, when performance reviews are already gender-biased as it is, and it seems feedback from women to their fellow peers still has a long way to go? As Indra Nooyi suggests in her address, we must change the approach we have when it comes to receiving and giving feedback at work.
From my opinion and from speaking to other women around me, here are a few ways we could at least get started:
Be more proactive about giving and receiving feedback to and from other women.
In order to better the way we approach feedback, we must first get used to more of it. Receiving more of it, giving away more of it, as well as seeking out more of it. It could be as simple as asking our peers for regular feedback, as well as our managers and bosses. If we happen to be in predominantly male groups/teams, we may want to seek out more mentoring relationships with other women outside of our group or company entirely. The more we get used to it, the better we’ll become at it.
Addressing our biases when it comes to feedback.
As Indra Nooyi pointed out in her comments, we tend to react differently when the feedback comes from a man than from a woman. While we could try and understand the psycholological reasons behind this, we can also start with acknowledging how giving and receiving feedback makes us feel.
Following up on feedback and learning from the results.
The most important step when it comes to feedback is actually implementing it, and learning from it. What can we learn from giving and receiving feedback to and from other women? Can we identify ourselves with it, recognize we share the same struggles and victories, and actually do better?
In closing, let’s take a listen to Indra Nooyi’s comments:
Do you think women are less receptive to feedback when it comes from other women?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
