This post is an excerpt from my e-book “Girl, Take Back Your Career: 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Power at Work“.
Very often, we think that what we must do in order to succeed in our careers boils down to one single, powerful and highly celebrated word: Work! Work hard, work overtime, work until you no longer need to be introduced. Work yourself to the bone, work, work, work! And that’s exactly what we do, setting out to “pay our dues” (or hefty student loans), struggle, work late nights, early mornings, through lunch and through the most fun parts of our lives…
Which is all good, until we hit a wall and the hard work no longer pays off. When a switch seems to have gone off, and we’re not quite sure which switch it is, and how to turn it back on, or even if we should for that matter…Or in simpler terms, when we’re “stuck”…
That’s how I, like so many other women in my generation, generations before and surely future generations, come to feel at some point or another in our lives and careers: “stuck”. It’s that “stuck” switch that comes on, apparently all on its own, in the middle of our careers and lives, and leaves us wondering what to do next.
My girlfriends and I talk every day on Whatsapp, and the same word very often comes into our conversations: “Stuck”. We’ve known each other since high school, and are all in our thirties now. While we’ve taken different career paths and are spread all across the globe (from Paris to Senegal, through Italy and Colombia), the resounding message from all of us is pretty much the same: “We feel stuck”!
There are many reasons why we can feel “stuck’ in our careers, from lack of balance to negative office politics, to our own personal choices. Yet whatever the situation we may be in, it almost always requires some sort of a mindset change to get through to the other side of the “stuck” switch, whatever that may be.
For some, the “other side” is simply a new attitude or perspective. For others, it may be a new job, an entirely new career, or some time off seeking their own truths somewhere between Bali and the Himalayas. But in the “in-between” time, we must recognize and learn how to manage that mindset change.
It’s very rare in our college curriculums, or corporate trainings to have the topic of “mindset” discussed or even referred to. Most often, we’re way too focused on work, results, and deliverables. Or on who’s doing what, how office politics affect us and why the glass ceiling is not breaking, falling apart or disintegrating any faster…Besides, who has time for mindset and other woo-woo concepts when there’s already so much work to do?
The problem is, work, as dedicated, devoted and even perfect as it may be, is not always enough. Actually, it rarely is. I mean, how many times have you seen talented, extremely hard-working people put in countless hours in the office, only to reap very limited rewards, if any? And how many more times have you witnessed less hard-working (and frankly less talented people, no shade intended) make it to the top of their fields? Not to mention the crazy number of women stuck in between, struggling to make their careers’ ends meet, only to make two steps forward and five back every other day…
There are a number of qualitative factors that come into play in our careers, and that cannot necessarily be translated into quantifiable terms like the amount of hours worked, the results produced, or any other kind of productivity metrics. It’s the intangible stuff that fills up the empty corners of our careers, those that work alone cannot fill. Things like relationships, politics, exposure, and other less palpable factors we don’t always realize the importance of as we navigate throughout our careers, especially as women. Yet the most important of it all, as I’ve come to realize at my own expense, is your mindset.
The same mindset that allows us to see our worth independently from the actual amount of work we’re able to produce (or coffee we can gulp down). And not to have that worth attached to a position, a string of accomplishments, or to a specific career path.
So many of us women at work believe we’re only valuable because we have a great job, because we’re recognized at work, or because we finally snatched that promotion. Conversely, even more of us are paralyzed, not just at work but also in our lives, by the fact that we’re not recognized at work, are unable to grow through the corporate ranks, or can’t seem to score that promotion or raise.
Most importantly, it’s a mindset that allows us to believe in developing our own talents and abilities, as opposed to constantly striving to appear smart and competent, whatever the amount of sacrificial work and attitude it may take. This is the “growth” mindset that Stanford University researcher Carol Dweck describes in her hit book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success“, and contrasts with what she calls the “fixed mindset”:
“In a fixed mindset, students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that’s that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don’t necessarily think everyone’s the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it.”
Basically, Dweck’s research has proven that your success really depends on whether you believe your abilities can be developed, or are fixed and already pre-determined. And really, how many of us women bet on what we believe to be our limited abilities while men bet on their potential instead?
How many times do we see women refrain from applying to a given position because they don’t believe they have all the required qualifications, while a man with the same credentials will go fo it, betting on his potential to learn along the way instead?
I love that one of the most treasured career values over at leading airline company Southwest, is known as “the warrior spirit”. In a November 2013 interview published in Forbes magazine, Ms. Hardage, the airline’s Chief Communications Officer at the time, describes it as “being fearless”. What a powerful concept!
Imagine walking into work with that pep in your step, that renewed energy and determination, that “warrior spirit”…instead of the frequent sense of overwhelm and busyness that haunt so many of us, if not most, every time we think about work. And what if it were as easy as… changing our minds?
The biggest lesson I’ve learnt, mostly from my failures and setbacks, is that career success is first and foremost a mindset. One that some may acquire from their upbringing, or prior experience maybe. One that others may struggle with at first, not having been exposed to it or taught about it. But what I also learnt is that career success is not a mindset reserved to a select few, as I initially believed…Like the Mikes of this world…
Let me tell you about Mike, whom I met when I first started in Big Corporate and remained in my career memories for a long while after…
Mike did not need to network; he was the network. The second Mike would step in the meeting room, he’d manage to get to know everyone, from the staff auditor to the partner on the job. By the time he left the meeting, he’d know what everyone was working on, and be recommended on most of the high-profile audits for the year. Mike was the epitome of Big Corporate savvy.
He knew how and when to speak up, could approach a partner as easily as he’d befriend the staff on the team, and could network his way into a promotion, strategic move or stellar recommendation like nobody’s business. In other words, Mike was the opposite of me back then.
As an introvert starting out in Big Corporate, the extent of my corporate battleground was the furthest left corner of my desk. I was perfectly fine tucked in to my own little corner, doing my job, handing in my assignments, and moving right along… Although I was ambitious, I just didn’t know then that I needed more than the resolve to work hard, or a new job whenever things would not work out my way.
What I needed was a new career mindset, one that I could get from stretching and developing my current mindset, however challenging that may be.
AT THE END of the day, mindset is a muscle. One that you can develop, and even change, in the course of your career and life. Your success at work doesn’t depend on what others do, or whatever circumstances pop in your life, or however you may think you may be, but rather on the “growth” perspective and mindset you adopt through it all.
Want to read more? Get my e-book “Girl, Take Back Your Career: 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Power at Work“, available on Amazon!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
