I was at work, in my zone, checking box after box of deliverables when my cell phone rang. It was home. I couldn’t pick up; besides, I was in the flow and didn’t want to stop just yet. The phone kept ringing, over and over again. “It must be important”, I thought. I needed to take a biological break anyways, so I picked up, walking towards the ladies’ room by the corridor. The rest was a blur, as the news I received dealt me a physical blow so hard I had to sit on the carpeted floor for a few minutes.My grand-mother had just passed away, and I was hearing the news all the way from West Africa. Saying that I was devastated was an understatement. Memories kept flooding my mind, as I desperately fought to find a way to get it together in the office.
Like me, you may have faced a personal crisis at work. It may have been the loss of a loved one. Or the crushing end of a marriage. Or a friendship imploding. Whatever it may have been, a personal crisis can be amplified and made almost impossible to manage when you have to handle being at work throughout part or the entirety of the process.
Besides, personal challenges and crisis affect the way you see and think about work. When you experience loss, your career suddenly takes a backseat, and rightfully so. In Bridget Jones, Bridget leaves her job after finding out her boyfriend cheats on her (it also didn’t help that he was his boss). There are many scenarios, some of them in our favorite movies, when people change their whole careers after a personal crisis.
When personal crisis hits and everything seems to fall apart as the monthly report is due and the boss is breathing down your neck, you don’t have to fall apart. Here are a few ways to keep standing when the world is crashing down around you:
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Take a time-out
Dealing with your emotions and feelings when you’re going through a personal crisis is not a luxury, it’s a necessity! Whether you take a personal day or use your vacation or bereavement time, make sure to observe some time to grieve over whatever you may be experiencing!
Related: 3 ways to manage your emotions at work as a working woman
It may be time to mourn over the loss of a dear one, to get over a marriage crisis, or simply to absorb some delicate financial or health-related news. Whatever it may be, not taking the time to do so will end up having repercussions on your life and work in the short and long-term.
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Communicate!
As an introvert, I always find it challenging to communicate when facing a personal crisis, especially at work. However, we must understand that our relationships, whether personal or professional, do not necessarily understand what we may be going through.
This is why it’s so important to open the communication gates and allow those around you, to understand what you are facing. This is not about telling everyone your personal business, but rather opening lines of communication to facilitate a process that is already challenging for you.
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Consider your options
When facing a personal crisis at work, you must consider your available options. You may be able to take some time off, use bereavement time, or even access some mental health resources offered by your organization. However, if you don’t know about these or fail to consider them, you may be putting yourself at a disadvantage.
While it may be challenging to do so, consider consulting with your Human Resources department. You can also talk to co-workers and friends to evaluate your options.
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Focus on healing
As important as work may be to you, your healing and health, both physical and mental, takes precedence. Focus on your well-being, and recovering from whatever crisis you may be facing. If it requires taking some time off, then so be it.
Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs during this process. The more you can work at emerging from the crisis you may be facing, the better you can be in life and at work.
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Make a plan
Facing a personal crisis at work takes a toll on you. The longer the crisis remains unsolved, the more it affects you personally and professionally. As difficult as it may be, make a plan to deal with this crisis. This may mean having a plan to take some time off, using some of the resources offered by your organization, taking a loan out of your savings, or any other type of plan.
Committing to a few steps to turn the crisis you may be facing can go a long way towards healing and actually learning from the experience. If you can trust your co-workers and management, you may consider asking them to help you through your plan and keep you accountable.
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Stand up for yourself…
There are times when you may have to face a personal crisis at work alone. Your co-workers or management may not necessarily understand or empathize with what you may be going through. You may also be hesitant to share your process and experience with them. You may even face opposition or flat-out resentment from those you work with. This may be the case when you need to take some time off, go on a leave, or be more flexible in your schedule, as it may also impose additional demands on your team or department.
In these cases, as challenging as it may be, you may want to stand up for yourself and exercise your rights. Make sure to collaborate with your team as much as possible in the process. However, you must take care of yourself first, even if that means standing up to your team or organization for the sake of your well-being.
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But be kind to you!
Facing a personal crisis at work is painful. As much as you may want others to show compassion and kindness to you, you must be kind to yourself first. This also means assessing your needs as honestly as you can, and allowing yourself the time and space to heal.
All in all, we may all at some point or another, face a personal crisis at work. Life just happens, and sometimes everything falls apart. In these cases, the most important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, our health, sanity and well-being comes first.
Now your turn: Have you faced a personal crisis at work? How did you deal with it?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
