One of the dilemmas that many of us corporate sisters struggle with in the corporate jungle, is whether to fit in, make no waves, stay safe, or to stand out in all we are and all we possess of uniqueness. From our dress to our hair to the way we speak, there is no denying that more often we stand at the crossroads between conformity and originality.
I mean, let’s be real, we look different than what is considered to be the norm. We pull from a richness of cultural sources and influences that, whether we like it or not, are reflected in who we are and how we carry ourselves. And THAT, all of it is beautiful because it’s part of the fabric of our identities…And here we are, a double minority in the somewhat traditional mold of Corporate America, faced with an apparently narrow path to success on one hand, and our own larger-than-life uniqueness as a people and as individuals. And as we make our way through our respective professional careers, what with society’s limited exposure to and constrained view of Black women in the corporate world, we can’t help but wonder: “Should we fit in or stand out?”
It’s not a hypocritical question, neither is it an admission of guilt. Certainly, we are who we are; yet certainly, we need jobs, and paychecks, and a way to make it. And in order to reconcile the two, we need to face the tough questions…
For many years, I tried too hard to fit in, to the point of stifling my own personality. My hair was pressed too straight, my suits too dark and conservative…And no, for as long as I was able to sustain it without blowing up on the inside, that did not work out…Not for myself, and not for anyone around me. People can sense your lack of authenticity, even before you can realize it yourself.
By the time I realized that I was no longer myself, I also realized that there is no perfect answer to the question. That in one hand, there is a need to conform to some extent to a certain organizational image that we chose to subscribe to, whether deliberately or not…And on the other hand, our authentic selves are our best assets and should not under any circumstance be stifled. So nowadays, you can find me rocking my natural curls in the meeting room, while sporting classic outfits with my own brand of funky touch…
So, when it comes to fitting in or standing out for sisters in the corporate world, there is no right or wrong answer…As in real life, compromising without losing our authentic voice is key. Now how we each go about it is our choice…
Do you fit in or stand out…
