One of the most challenging parts of growth as an individual, and especially as a working woman and mom, is the part when you realize that not everybody will grow and go with you. It’s a daunting and saddening realization that can be heartbreaking at times. Yet, it’s the sometimes heart-wrenching reality of personal growth. The part when caring for yourself means letting go of people not mean to grow with you….
Very often, especially as women, we’re socialized into groups and relationships that are supposed to last a lifetime. These are the friendships from “back in the day”, the associations from “way back when”, that we’re too attached to release, even when it’s clear they are no longer working in our favor. So we stay and hang around, and suppress that little voice inside telling us it is time to move on. So we shrink a little more, and a little more, to fit into boxes we’ve outgrown, for the sake of not shaking the boat…Yet, despite all your best efforts, you find yourself stagnating, not just in that relationship, but in many if not all areas of your life.
Beyond weekly manicures and pedicures, self-care also means letting go of those not meant to grow with you. While being a complex process, this release process is all too often necessary. While certainly challenging, it doesn’t have to be a drastic or dramatic process. Often, it’s just a matter of re-classifying relationships in a way that truly reflects who you are and your process of growth, which may require a few steps:
- Trust yourself
How many times have you gotten this sense in your gut that things weren’t quite right? And how many times have you silenced your own instincts, preferring to trust the comfort of old habits?
The first step to releasing relationships that are no longer meant for us (or were never meant for us) is to trust ourselves. Our bodies will tell us when something is not quite right. We’ll sense it in our gut. The key is to trust ourselves.
- Release in peace
Letting go, be it of relationships, associations, or jobs, does not have to be a dramatic process. Being at peace as we release what is no longer meant for us helps us keep a clear mind and spirit as we move on to the next step in our lives, on purpose.
While there may be times when confrontation is unavoidable, as much as possible, keep your peace.
- More acceptance, less resistance
The difficulty in letting go of what or who is not meant to grow with us is often a matter of resistance. It’s hard to accept that we’ve been used to for so long, whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a career, is coming to an end. So we resist and struggle to maintain the status quo, instead of accepting things as they are.
Being accepting of what is does not mean being complacent and taking whatever comes at face value. It simply means believing you are provided for at all times, and something or someone leaving is only making room for better.
The Corporate Sis.
