feedback – Photo credit: modeming.com
In most professional environments, there’s receiving feedback, and then there’s receiving feedback as a woman. Like getting diagnosed with a condition you actually understand and know how to remediate, versus being given some vague, ambiguous professional sentence you can’t actually put a finger on, never mind get a clear take-away from. Something that would include general, fuzzy words like “bossy”, “emotional”, or even “abrasive”.
I remember coming out of the first of what I called the “ambiguous” series of performance reviews I ever received. There I was, my performance review in hand, scratching my head, with a faint idea of what I was to do now, and a strong sense that this was more personal than professional. I was told to be less “emotional” and more “aggressive”, yet not so much so that I would become abrasive. And to take more initiative but not so much that it wouldn’t let others’ work shine too. Of course, being a woman of color with all the associated stereotypes only made matters more complicated. Ok…
Evidence clearly shows high-achieving men and women are described in a different manner in performance reviews. Regardless of the reviewer’s gender, women tend to receive more critical reviews than their male counterparts, and told to basically “tone it down”. Generally, women are criticized more for personality than actual performance. Among other words that were rarely found in men’s reviews, was the word “abrasive“. And apparently, men are not too fond of giving women feedback either.
As you start and progress through your career, what no one tells you about receiving feedback as a woman at work is very often, you’ll be left puzzled. Very often, you’ll walk of that room feeling blind-sided and a bit surprised, which should never happen during a performance review. And you may very well be tempted to start putting your personality and abilities in question…
Awareness is key to not only understanding this bias, but working around and against it at the same time. Don’t allow it to disarm or destabilize you, and while you’re at it, tell another woman…
Have you faced subtle or outward gender bias in your performance reviews?
The Corporate Sis.
