Working from the same home you live in can easily blur the lines between work and life, especially as a working mom. While there are many arguments in favor of working from home, moving from your home life to your work life inside the home can actually constitute more a burden than a relief. This is why it’s so crucial for working moms, especially during this coronavirus pandemic, to set boundaries when working from home.
For working moms, working from home is not just about performing professional activities from the home. The reality is that it’s about compiling the already heavy burden of unpaid care to that of professional obligations, in the same environment and within the same time and space constraints. According to a report byOxfam,women and girls’ unpaid care is worth a whopping $10.8 trillion per year, which is the equivalent of three times the benefit of the technology industry. In the United States, women spend 37% more of their time on unpaid care work than men, according to this report by the Institute for Women’s Policy research. Globally, not one country is on target to achieve gender equality, and the biggest impact is felt by women.
At a time when working from home is becoming the new normal, it also threatens to perpetuate gender inequities from the office into the home. From a non-gender perspective, its impact on mental health on individuals in general, and on working moms in particular, can also be quite detrimental. This is the reason why it is so important for working women and moms to set firm boundaries when working remotely. Here are a few tips to get started:
- Have an honest conversation with yourself
Setting boundaries starts with an honest process of self-introspection. Very often, especially as working moms, it can be excruciatingly hard to decide on which boundaries to set, let alone implement them effectively. I know for me, taking some time out to clearly think about what I need most, and what boundaries I would need to put in place is a must.
What is important to you in this season? What is preventing you from devoting the time, space and energy to your priorities? What boundaries can you set in place to allow yourself to be and do more of what matters to you?
- Have honest conversations with others
The second step is to have honest conversations with others. By others, I mean those who are closest to you, and exert the most influence on your schedule and life in general. These would be your family members, your colleagues and managers. Communicating your needs and clarifying expectations coming from them can go a long way towards establishing mutually agreeable boundaries.
Can you honestly set some time to communicate to your spouse and children what you need in this season? Can you also set some time to discuss your needs and expectations with your work team and managers, and also hear about theirs?
- Create a communication code with kids
When working with kids, setting firm and clear boundaries can seem impossible to achieve. It’s one thing to tell the kids to keep out of your room while you’re having yet another Zoom meeting. It’s another to physically prevent them from barging into your home office asking for their butts to be wiped (this literally happened on one of my Zoom calls). This is where creating a communication code with kids comes in handy. It may be through physical or handwritten signs, or by agreeing on a given schedule. I set up a calendar with my kids and spouse so we can all know which times are “untouchable” for each one of us.
What communication code will you set up with your kids so yours and their needs can be met in a more efficient way?
- Protect your time and space
As a working mom, you may feel like when it comes to your time and space, it’s all fair game (at least until everyone goes to bed and you can finally breathe and binge on your favorite shows). Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way. Protecting your time and space is not only possible but it’s necessary when working from home. It’s also not selfish, but actually one of the best gifts you can offer your family when working remotely. By protecting your time and space, you are freer, both physically and mentally, to be more present outside of work because you’re not trying to do it all at once.
This may mean setting a separated workspace for you, even if that means a small corner of your bedroom. It may also mean setting a firm yet flexible schedule that includes a healthy morning routine (including some self-care and prepping for the day), and setting a strict time to put your pencil down and transition back to home life.
- Be flexible
Working moms know all too well that a plan is not a plan unless it includes some level of flexibility. Things happen, juice gets spilled, kids scrape their knees, and life hardly ever proceeds as planned, especially between our four walls at home. This also means being flexible when setting firm yet malleable boundaries. For me, it’s a matter of remembering that nothing will be perfect, and building a buffer in my schedule (especially considering my notorious tendencies for lateness).
All in all, working from home can be much more challenging than it looks. While it may offer some advantages such as instance childcare, or economic and time savings to some extent, it also presents a host of difficulties for working moms now saddled with both unpaid and paid labor. Setting firm yet flexible boundaries can help in this process.
How are you setting boundaries when working from home as a working mom?
The Corporate Sis.
