“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5
There was a point in my career when I was drafting my notice to quit my third job in less than two years.
That was at a point when my career had taken a serious nosedive into no-career-woman’s-land. A couple of years before, I had left a comfortable but zero-potential, zero-advancement, and zero-inspiration position at a major company. I wanted more, so I took a bet on a brand-new position in a brand-new group in a brand-new industry for me.
The salary was great, the perks awesome, but before I knew it, I was the only woman in the department, living in planes, eating out of hotel rooms, and kissing my kids good-bye every other week-end. After months of stress and close to a mental breakdown, I quit!
A year and change later, here I was, sitting at yet another crowded desk, drafting yet another two-week-notice…
In between drinking too much coffee, losing my mind and compulsively shopping for shoes online, I knew if I wanted to enjoy and thrive in my career again, I had to let go! Let go of the painful baggage, the baggage of failure, rejection, missed opportunities, destructive relationships, bad coffees and icky snack machines…
A lot happens in women’s careers over time. A lot that many of us often don’t have the courage, desire, or guts to discuss out loud. But a lot that somehow, some way, we carry deep inside of us like an unwanted child never to be born. Those are the wounds so many women at work are afflicted with, and learn to nurture over time with the ointment of steely resolve, unbreakable commitment, and sometimes, hurtful bitterness. That’s the price we pay for changing the rules, a price we must let go of the tag if we want to ever enjoy what we’ve worked so hard to finally earn…
I remember reading back in May 2014 (and even writing about a post about it), about ex-NY Times Editor and first-woman ever appointed in this position, Jill Abramson. She had allegedly been fired after finding out her pay and pension benefits were significantly less than the male editor whom she had replaced at the time. I recall thinking: “Wow, is this what happens when women break barriers and accomplish the almost impossible? Must be so hard to move on from something like this!”
Especially when such women are the guideposts for so many other women fighting the same war. Nearly two years after her very public separation from the NY Times, Ms. Abramson is now serving in a new role as political columnist for the Guardian US. Yet, I still can’t help wondering: “What toll must it have taken on her?”
In general, female CEOs get fired more often than male CEOs. And without even rising to the top executive levels, women can get fired for pretty much anything, from wearing flats to sporting “controversial” hairstyles, to being six months pregnant. And the list goes on and on…How do we, as women at work, move on from such challenging and at times downright depressing career circumstances, to keeping on keeping’ on and striving to win at work again?
The answer is as simple as it is complex: We forgive, we let go, and we move on! Whichever way works for each one of us to get over the offenses, the discrimination, the push-backs, setbacks and failures…Whether it’s getting up at the crack of dawn to meditate, buying the damn shoe, or eating the red velvet cupcake…Whichever way we know how to put down that heavy work baggage and keep it from leaking into our minds, our sense of self-worth, and ultimately our hearts…
That’s what I had to force myself to do.
- To stop breathing, living, talking about the disappointments, and instead focus on the opportunities, the new beginnings.
- To stop holding anyone else but myself accountable for my career, and ultimately my life. To be thankful for every career moment, the good, the great, the bad, and the downright ugly.
- To know that each step in your career teaches you how to be better, stronger, and more resilient.
- And to finally acknowledge that those moments you wish you could erase may just have been the ones that prepared you for your ultimate successes!
How did you manage to let go after career setbacks and disappointments?
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To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
