“I’m probably gonna mess this project too!”
Carla said it jokingly, but it came out all wrong. She had been assigned this high-profile audit, and while she was highly capable and one of the most competent managers on the team, she painfully doubted herself. And led everyone else to doubt her too…Jokes or not, it was apparent she didn’t believe in her own ability to ace this assignment. How could others trust her to do so, and lead them effectively in the process?
Carla’s story is not uncommon in Big Corporate. Many of us, at some point or another, have had to deal with our own insecurities in the workplace. Am I good enough? Are they better than I am? Can I get the promotion? Can I deliver on this? All these questions have run across our busy minds a few times over in the course of our careers. Yet, the real question is: “Are our insecurities to blame for our lack of success at work?”
In the best case scenarios, we drag ourselves down the corporate mud, like Carla. We tend to downplay our own achievements and question ourselves, in private or even worse, publicly. In the worst case scenarios, that can lead to demeaning others who may feel threatening, belittling them, or stirring rumors and spreading gossip.
Insecurity at work will make you act out of fear, sit in the back of the room, and keep quiet when you have thousands of amazing ideas brewing in that genius brain of yours. Out of insecurity, we often give up our power to direct our own careers and lives. And as much as we think we can hide in the back, or make ourselves invisible, or joke about messing up another project, everyone can smell it…
For the longest time as a black woman at work with an African accent, I hid at the back of the room. Too afraid to raise my voice, or contribute my opinion. Making up stories in my mind about others being more successful, better suited for this Big Corporate life. Or just plain mean and ill-intentioned towards me. The whole time, I was hiding away from my own insecurities and fears. Until I realized it was never about the work, the people, or the politics, but about the fear that didn’t allow me to stand up front and reclaim my own power.
So the next time your insecurities loom near and threaten to take over your career, here are a few ways to stand up front and reclaim the power that never really left you:
- Stand/sit up front! It starts with physically putting yourself in a position of power. Stop hiding in the back of the room. As scary as it may seem, sitting up front at a meeting, and making yourself visible and heard at work in general, tricks your brain into believing you are adequate. I’ll always remember one of my absolute favorite managers moving me from a cubicle in the back of the office, to one closest to the team and upper management. By doing this, she increased my visibility, and empowered me to sit where I could be seen and heard. That alone boosted my confidence level a hundred-fold, and advanced my carer more than I thought it’d be possible then. As people, we need to be seen and heard. And if it’s a challenge for you to assert your presence, simply start by physically positioning yourself in a visible place. There’s a reason why they say: “Location, location, location!”
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone’s career and life follows a unique path. There are no two careers that are equal. Honor your path, your accomplishments, and all the things you’ve learnt along the way. No one can honor your journey if you’re not honoring it first. Comparing yourself to others’ results, accomplishments, appearance, etc, robs you of the time and energy to focus on your own. Let it go.
- Repeat empowering affirmations. One thing that has tremendously helped me in changing my mindset for success, is the consistent practice of repeating empowering affirmations. Faith comes by hearing, and we tend to believe more of what we say to ourselves. Before tackling an important meeting, call, or even when I start feeling my insecurities rising, I repeat affirmations like: “I am enough.” “I lack of nothing.” “I am competent.”
- Share your struggle with a trusted advisor. Insecurities are tough to face alone. Especially at work. Don’t keep your struggle to yourself. There are people around you who’ve dealt with the same issues you have, and would be happy to provide you with valuable advice. Find a trusted person, advisor or mentor, and share your insecurities. Ask them how they manage to get to the level they’re at, and how they fight their own insecurities.
- Exercise! Ok, this one took me a while to get into. There’s nothing about sweating or wearing sneakers that excites me. Except the mental benefits from exercising do trickle down into your work, and change your professional mindset as well as endurance. Take care of your body as much as you do your mind, and watch yourself soar to new levels (in addition to looking amazing in that dress)!
- Find empowering role models. I love to watch and study successful women. Success begets success. There’s a reason why some people reach certain levels, and others tend to stagnate. Find empowering role models to look up to and emulate. Talk to them if you can, read about them, research what they do differently, how they think, so you too can also start believing in your own unique, extraordinary potential.
- Give others what you’d want them to give you. The Universe has an interesting way of giving back. It’s no until you start giving away what you want that, interestingly enough, you start getting it too. Be an encourager, a motivator, a leader. Help others with their own insecurities, and watch yours fade away. The more you give, the more you have to give.
Are your insecurities ruining your own career? Share your journey with us….
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
