Me: “But why?”

Co-worker/friend: ” She just doesn’t like you. I’m sorry.”

That was the beginning of a conversation that would end in S. quitting her job a few months later. The woman she was working with at the time did not like her. As simple as that. And because the same woman was close to her manager, her life would become hell.From private remarks on the quality of her work, to furtive accusatory glances in the cafeteria, not to mention the public disparaging comments, work had become a “no-woman” zone for her. And since it was more important for her to be mentally healthy and happy, she left.

Such is the story of countless women who end up jumping from one job to another because of unhealthy work relationships preventing them from unlocking their best at work, or combining their personal and professional life effectively. 

After all, you’ve heard it before: “It’s not what you know, but who you know..” Ok, although you need a minimum of knowledge and qualifications not to mess up the monthly financial reporting, your relationships at work do play a huge role in your career as well. After all, you do spend upwards of 8 hours with the same people who may play a part in your career advancement…or in your career taking a few steps back…

In my career, I’ve worked with the most  encouraging, positive and upbeat people who have managed to motivate me and make me want to go further, faster and higher in my career. And just like everyone else, I’ve had the not so pleasurable experience of working alongside some of the most interesting (and not in a good way) professional characters. From backstabbing co-workers to unsupportive managers, you name it. And at the end of it all, it’s obvious how much relationships can shape, in some way or another, one’s career and life perspective.

Hindsight being 20/20 (even for half-blind glasses wearers like myself), we’ve all been at the receiving end of some pretty disastrous, or at least not as satisfying work relationships. Here are some tips I’ve dug deep into the sea of my career relationships to improve connections at work and make them work for you:

1. Connect More: This may sound counter-intuitive, especially if you’ve been involved in not-so positive work relationships. Yet the best way to improve work relationships is to connect more with co-workers and superiors. A team member of mine used to organize “connect sessions” at the beginning of each year to reconnect with his team, as well as other teams, and share goals. How about making it a point to connect more regularly with yours and other teams at work? It may be in organizing individual sessions with mentors, yours or other teams. Or you may choose to have a periodic meet-and-greet out of the office with your colleagues? It may also be as simple as having more open, genuine exchanges with people at work extending beyond just work…
2. Model the behavior you would expect: We often expect to be treated in a certain way, while not noticing that others may never have been actually exposed to what a healthy and supportive workplace looks like. How about modeling the behavior you would like displayed in your team or work environment? Show attention and respect to your colleagues, by being more punctual, answering to texts and emails within 24 hours, complimenting them on a job well done or simply curbing the gossip.
3. Get more personal: Let your co-workers see another side of you, a more personal, deeper side of you that allows you to connect with them better. 

How do you improve your work relationships?

Love,

Solange.