How to fight the Mommy Bias as a working mom

As working moms, it can be challenging not to face the “mommy bias” at work, especially when we have to make special arrangements in our careers and businesses. Early pickups, flexible work arrangements, or impromptu family-related emergencies, are all par for the course when it comes to being a working mom. This may also resulting in a mommy bias at work when co-workers and even managers begin resenting the flexibility or circumstances of a working parent.

As a working mom, I often felt scared of asking for flexibility at work. While I was fortunate to work with understanding co-workers and managers when it came to having work-life integration, there was always a fear of the “mommy bias”. What if leaving on time or early would keep me from getting a promotion? What if my colleagues would think I’m a slacker? Speaking to other working moms, I realized that in certain environments, the “mommy bias” could lead to women being ignored, resented, or flat-out punished for being parents.

As much as we may think that our society has progressed and mentalities have evolved, the truth remains that the traditional role of moms caring for their babies at home is still largely upheld. This underlying bias is real, although often denied. More often than not, women with children or expecting babies, are deemed to be less competent. It is assumed that taking care of a household and family is incompatible with excelling at work, which results in many women being taken off the leadership track or simply relegated to lower-profile assignments.

As archaic as it may sound, this reality is prevalent for many, if not most working moms. However, there are ways you can fight it in your workplace or business.

Here are some tips to fight the “mommy bias” at work:

Be strategic!

Since you already know the reality of the working mom bias and how it can affect your career, you need to be as strategic as possible about your career, especially as you approach maternity leave. Before leaving to give birth, make sure to have a conversation with your manager and team to ensure that there is a clear understanding that this new phase of your life does not alter your career.

Have a plan in place for your return to work, and as much as possible, work to have your manager and team commit to it. It’s important that all parties understand what is on the table, and prepare accordingly.

Keep showing your ongoing interest and commitment in your work

Even after having children, post-maternity leave and an ongoing basis, keep showing how committed you are to your work. While there exists an assumption that working moms may be less effective at their jobs, do not let it derail you from your career goals.

Set up regular meetings with your team and management to reiterate your commitment to your work, and set clear goals for your career. The last thing you want to do is be discouraged and throw in the towel.

Be prepared to fight for opportunities!

Along with showing your commitment, you also want to motivate yourself to fight for the career opportunities you deserve. Many working moms are unfortunately at a disadvantage when it comes to being considered for high-profile assignments or positions. However, this shouldn’t keep you from defending the work you have done, demonstrating excellence and arguing your case.

Don’t let the fact that you may be overlooked at times deter you from seeking the right opportunities for your career. Instead, use it as fuel to do your best work.

Take it easy on yourself

As much as you should be prepared to fight this mommy bias at work, you also have to keep in mind that you have a lot on your plate. It’s challenging to deal with children, the household, your relationship, and be a beaming light of hope at work. Can you do it with flying colors? Yes, certainly.

However, you should be mindful of prioritizing your self-care and checking in with yourself as often as you can. Being a committed employee does not mean sacrificing yourself in order to keep everyone comfortable. Decide how much you’re able to give and what you need to keep yourself at the top of your game and happy.