How to work with a backstabber

You know him or her. The dreaded, despised but put up with for way too long office backstabber. The one who steals your ideas and takes credit for them later at the weekly status meeting. Or piggy backs on your contributions to inflate theirs, withholding critical information from you and magically “forgetting” to include  you in Senior Management meetings. Yes, that one…

I’ve worked with a few of those. The ones who smile in your face, innocently chatting you up on the way to the cafeteria, right before they send out an email to the team with the spreadsheet you prepared (initialed with their names, of course). And as obvious as it is that working with such individuals can be a large source of stress and significant cause of inefficiencies, it remains dealing with a backstabbing co-worker still happens more than it should.

Every time I experienced this situation, the first thing I was tempted to do was walk straight to the offending co-worker’s cube, and give him a piece of my hot mind. Which I did, in a few instances. And almost immediately regretted. All I managed to do then was stir the pot, and motivate the backstabber to keep re-enacting their behavior in the hopes of making me lose my cool.

After weeks of “forgotten” meeting invites, stolen ideas and materials, not to mention the duplicated work and wasted budget time, it was time to come up with a “smart”, non-aggressive approach to beat the offender at their own game.

1. Prepare ahead of time. The backstabber likes to take advantage of last-minute opportunities to steal your ideas and sweep the rug right from under your professional feet. Do not give them the opportunity. Be over-prepared. Ensure you have prepared for each meeting ahead of time, and have personally communicated related materials and ideas to your team and management before communicating them to him/her. Take credit for your work before they can take credit for it!
2. Take the initiative. Do not wait for someone else to get credit for your research or work. Take the initiative early. Send out the meeting’s agenda, propose a discussion or meeting to discuss your ideas, speak up on your behalf early!
3. Back yourself up! Initial and date your work to create a trail of evidence you can resort to in case the backstabber wants to lay claim of it. Sign off on your supporting documentation, keep an email trail, preserve evidence of communication and work showing your contributions. It will help you demonstrate your participation in the project or assignment at hand.
4. Be courteous! It may sound counter-intuitive; however, showing kindness and courtesy goes a long way at work. Compliment team members (including the backstabber) on their work, and offer your help whenever needed. This will help alleviate any doubts when the backstabber proceeds to spread gossip about you, or wants to discredit your work.

As you climb the corporate ladder and assume new responsibilities at work, you will become the target of backstabbers. It’s just to be expected. Prepare yourself, and maintain your professional cool at all times.

Above all, let your work speak for itself, and refrain from perpetuating the backstabber’s behavior or engaging in any office gossip about or around them.

Oh, and take a coffee break every now and then…

With Love,

The Corporate Sis.