Dear Working Mom is our weekly love letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about motherhood, life, work and everything in between…
Dear Working Mom,
You’ve been giving of your time and energy as long as you can remember. As a matter of fact, as long as anyone can remember…Subtly, and at times not so subtly, your time has been taken for granted. It’s been assumed that because you carry the load so well, it must not be that heavy. That you can handle the household chores, the kids’ education and care, your elders’ care, your career or business, and so much more, concurrently and well…Even with your partner at home, your load has become increasingly larger and larger, taking up every minute of the day, and most of the time not even allowing you a minute to yourself, to your dreams, to your personal ambitions, to the essence of who you are…
You may find yourself operating in catch-up mode most of the time, repeatedly picking back up what you had to drop to attend to unplanned emergencies, to the kids, or the house…Before you know it, that dream of writing the book, starting your own business, or opening that boutique, has faded in the background of punctual obligations and commitments. Meanwhile, it seems your partner’s time is too valuable to be at the mercy of the same unforgiving demands and requests of family and personal life…It’s made you question your own sense of worth and self-esteem, yet you’ve just kept plugging right along…
And you’re certainly not making this up either…Just in the past few months, according to a study by the Washington University in St Louis, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, working moms have had to reduce their hours by about 5%. As a result, moms also tend to work less hours than dads during this period, and will be more likely to quit their jobs and suffer from mental health consequences. You’ve known the heavy burden you carry is not good for you. You’ve known it for a long time, and may have even started growing resentful because of it…. You may even have started giving voice to your concerns, and started a conversation or two with your partner. There may even have been some progress made, but it may still not be enough…
Could it be that you may have to acknowledge, to yourself first, that your time is as valuable as your partner’s, or anyone else’s for that matter? That the self-sacrificial and worthlessness messages that you, along so many other working moms, have received from society, may have been flawed from the start? That it may start with believing you deserve more, and daring to have the difficult conversations, the challenges to the status quo, and to make the necessary changes to make room for you too?
Your time is valuable. Your time is worth being considered. Your time matters. Just as much as your partner’s…
The Corporate Sis.
