Dear Working Mom is our periodic letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about the challenges, joys and everything in between for working moms…
Dear Working Mom,
Remember when Miranda admitted to Charlotte in the Sex and the City sequel movie that although she loves her son, motherhood isn’t enough for her, and that she misses her job? And Charlotte finally steps out of her “perfect wife and mother” golden picture frame, to reveal how much motherhood is wearing her thin. Every time I watch the movie, this particular scene has me bawling and let out a sigh of relief all at the same time. Hearing some of the dirtiest, most shameful secrets of real motherhood finally expressed in raw, inelegant words, felt like a weight lifted off the back of the myth of sacro-saint motherhood.
If you’ve ever felt the impossibly immense love of a mother for her children, and yet sensed the pull of your passion, your art, your work tugging at your heartstrings, you may understand what this is. This often forbidden truth that the beauty of motherhood is also laced with complex emotions, desires and instincts. That as working mothers, we can miss our kids when we’re at work, while simultaneously love our careers. That we can be filled with the most complete love and joy for our children and families, while still sensing the pull and void of something else. That motherhood is beautifully complicated, that it can be everything and not enough at the same time, engulfing us whole at times and pushing us to want more out of ourselves at once…
If you’ve found yourself in this complicated, grey area where guilt and love coexist, you’re not alone. If you’ve dropped your baby off at the baby sitter after maternity leave and cried in your car before heading off to work, yet found a sense of purpose as you started working again, you’re not alone. If you’ve struggled with defining your identity within and outside of the confines of motherhood, you’re not alone. Most likely, this dilemma of a dance between identities may just last a lifetime. And you may never get the soothing answer to your doubts, the solution to your struggle, or the remedy to your situation…
Yet what you may know, through it all, is that you tried your very best. That even though you missed out some milestones because you were at work, you still were there when it counted. Even though you let go of some promotions, left some jobs, and bowed out of some opportunities, it was all worth it. And although when you’re at work, you’re not home, and vice-versa, you strive to be the best you can where you are…
Because it’s true, sometimes motherhood is everything, and sometimes it’s not enough…And it’s ok…
With Love,
The Corporate Sis.
