As much as many of us look forward to the holidays, there’s no denying that they can also be quite the stressful financial time, especially for working moms. As the imbalance in the sharing of household responsibilities persists throughout the pandemic and beyond, working moms tend to bear the glorious, yet exhausting, burden of managing and orchestrating the holidays. This also comes at the cost of much financial stress and instability, especially coming out of the global health crisis created by the pandemic. Considering the heavy impact of the pandemic on working moms, saving money becomes not only important, but necessary…
As a working mom myself, as well as an accountant by trade, managing my financial resources, especially during the holidays, is always important. While there are a number of budgeting and cost-saving tools out there, one of these, that has particularly attracted my attention is Fluz. At a time when demands on your money are so pressing and numerous, this app is reinventing the concept of cash back. Beyond one-off incentives and small rewards, Fluz offers its users the opportunity to leverage each and every purchase by earning money back instantly. This is so good that as you purchase a gift card, you can earn cash back on it even before you use it! In addition, this app also creates countless opportunities to use one’s network to earn even more!
Here is how it works:
Step 1: Pick the stores you want to shop at!
You can pick from a variety of stores including everyday favorites like CVS, Dunkin’ Donuts, and Domino’s, or family favorites like Nike, Baby Gap, or food and entertainment spots like 99 Restaurants or Applebee’s. Or you can also use the Fluz app to earn cash back on some of your more seasonal needs from stores such as 1-800-Flowers, or 1-800-Baskets. There is literally a store for all your needs that you can shop at using the Fluz app!
Step 2: Pay with your Fluz app.
Once you pick the store of your choice, then you can whip open your Fluz app, select said store, and enter your checkout amount so you can pay and get a gift card code in exchange.
Step 3: Present your barcode.
All you have to do then is present the code to the store cashier or paste it during the online checkout process! Easy enough?
Step 4: Instantly earn your cash back!
As you make your purchases as described above, you instantly earn cash back. No need to wait to actually redeem your gift card! You earn money back right when you pay and obtain your gift card code…
The best part? This doesn’t just stop with you. The more the merrier, actually…You can invite your network of friends, family, associates, and colleagues to join in the fun (and savings) simply by sharing your referral code online.
Let’s begin right here, as I invite you to join in the fun by using my referral code: THECORPORATESISTER12
Log in to the Fluz app here, enter my referral code and start earning cash back. And you can do the same by inviting your network to join in as well!
Being a working mom is hard. Being a working mom during and in the slow aftermath of a global health crisis and pandemic is beyond hard. Things were already challenging before the pandemic, from working in and outside of the home, wearing too many hats to remember, and dealing with pressure both at work and at home. After over 18 months of remote working and homeschooling children, managing the home and career front, and struggling to keep their sanity intact in the face of school and daycare closings along with a pressing lack of childcare, working mothers are tapped out. About two million women have left the workforce entirely already as a result of the pandemic.
However, most working moms do not recognize or acknowledge burnout until it reaches a critical point. Yet, it is a valid and recognized health condition, which has actually been added as a syndrome to the International Classification of Diseases by the World Health Organization (WHO). The WHO defines it as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed”. Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, author of “Mommy Burnout”, adds: “The pandemic has revealed how closely tied mental health and stress are and I think a lot of people have hit their breaking point and they just can’t get by anymore.”, on a CNBC interview.
Burnout manifests itself as a host of signs, including:
Feelings of exhaustion
Feeling unproductive
Depersonalization (feeling cynical, disconnected and unmotivated)
Insufficient or poor self-care
Poor sleep
Concentration problems
Mood instability
Feeling isolated
Physical symptoms such as headaches, chest tightness, and stomachaches
If you recognize any of these signs in yourself or someone you know, here are a few tips to cope:
Acknowledge the problem
Be honest with yourself and others. When burnout occurs, the temptation may be to isolate and disconnect from others. Instead, consider reaching out to friends, family and using therapy as a way to cope.
Seek help
Burnout is a clear indication that you need help. Whether it’s asking your partner to pitch in more with household chores and parenting responsibilities, hiring a housekeeper, or requesting a more flexible schedule at work, tap into your network to get some help.
Set boundaries
Learn the art of saying no, or at least taking the time to consider requests coming your way. You don’t have to do it all or say yes to every demand on your time, space or energy.
Create some boundaries between your various tasks, as well as between your personal and professional spheres.
Schedule some time for yourself
This may be easier said than done, but it’s absolutely crucial to set some time for yourself to tend to your own self-care. Whether it’s waking up a bit earlier to read and journal, or saving some time for yourself in the middle or at the end of the day, carving some time out of your busy schedule can help relieve a lot of stress.
Create a routine
A lot of stress is created by blurring the lines between work and life, as well as parenting and other areas of our lives. Instead, consider setting up a flexible, predictable routine that separates your work and personal lives.
Stop multitasking
Research has extensively proven that multitasking is not effective, and can actually be counter-productive. Instead, consider switching your approach to focus on one task at a time.
Lower the bar on expectations
Last but not least, consider lowering the bar on your high personal and professional expectations. Instead, focus on building simpler habits such as meditating and getting adequate rest.
How have you been coping with burnout as a working mom?
For most working women and moms, having a flexible schedule is a blessing. It can also quickly turn into a curse if, and when, not managed well. Trying to fit in everything that could possibly fit into your schedule, or on the other hand, underestimating what needs to be done and wasting precious time, can both wreak havoc on your time, energy and self-esteem. As a result, flexibility can be a trap for so many working women and moms, who can end up overworked, frustrated and exhausted from it.
As much emphasis is being put on affording working mothers a more flexible schedule, what is not talked about as much is what it can cost the latter. On one hand, due to subjective work and gender-related negative perceptions about remote work and flexible schedules, the lessened face-to-face time has been shown to hurt working women’s advancement and promotion prospects in the workplace. On the other hand, while a more flexible schedule allows working moms the latitude to handle their various responsibilities, it also requires them to carefully plan ahead and manage their newfound flexibility. The latter is a significant challenge for many working moms who often feel a need to overcompensate for it, and don’t always have the tools to efficiently use it.
Managing the blessed trap of flexibility is an exercise in discipline, focus, but also self-awareness. Here are three tips that can help:
Set “sacred” areas for work, life and relationships
Flexibility can give us the impression that we have all the time in the world to get everything done. This is when the various areas, priorities and demands of our life and work can get mixed up in a feverish mishmash of to-do’s. As a result, while we may end up genuinely doing a lot, we may also miss out on the most important tasks and priorities, and work ourselves right past what truly matters, both personally and professionally.
This is why it is so important to set “sacred” areas and times for work, life and relationships. Professionally, it may be a matter of defining what our most important work is, and dedicate the best and most time to it. Personally, it’s a matter of also understanding what our non-negotiables are, including family time, rest and entertainment too.
Define flexible yet clear boundaries
The advantage of having a flexible schedule is that we get to organize it ourselves without too many outside impositions. The drawback of a flexible schedule is also that we get to organize it ourselves, and as such may overlook the crucial boundaries needed to maintain our sanity, productivity and efficiency. We’ve all seen examples of overworked mothers during the pandemic go from one personal to professional task without missing a beat until all hours of day and night, yet while totally dismissing the all-too necessary boundaries between work and life.
Establishing clear yet flexible boundaries adapted to our sometimes unpredictable schedules as working moms is not just a life-saver. It’s also a precious opportunity to understand, delineate and continually work on the time, energy and productivity that go into both our personal and professional lives.
Resist the temptation to over-commit
One of the constant temptations brought on by a flexible schedule is that to overcommit. As we have flexibility to structure our schedules ourselves, we also often fall prey to the “yes” syndrome, acquiescing to every and all demand and request on our time.
This is where learning and practicing the art of saying “no” comes in handy. While it is a challenge for many working moms accustomed to serving as sources of support and help in so many personal and professional capacities, it’s also absolutely necessary to distinguish between what we have the bandwidth to do and what we cannot fit in to our schedule. This avoids many a frustration, disagreement, or mismanaged task due to lack of time, energy or sheer capacity. To alleviate the discomfort that can be created by the prospect of declining a request or demand, asking for some time to think about it can help.
How are you managing the traps of flexibility as a working mom?
Working mothers are hitting a wall during and as we slowly emerge from this pandemic. Millions among them are exiting the doors of their hard-earned careers for lack of adequate childcare and support. Many more are silently caving under the pressure of wearing too many hats while still having to uphold the very fabric of our families and societal structures. In the midst of all this pressure, the very concept of mothering has been made incredibly more complex than ever, what with the forced necessity to homeschool children while in quarantine, the instability of schools, educational institutions and governments, and the ever-looming threat of economic precariousness, political volatility, and health scares…
The beautiful gift that is mothering has become fraught with uncertainty, pressures and distractions of all kinds, from social media debates on the validity of vaccines to the need to do it all for our children, families and careers without ever skipping a beat…The result? Working mothers are exhausted. Not from the exhaustion that requires a day (or a month) off, or a nice vacation in a far-away tropical location with exotic beaches and strong cocktails…Rather, working moms are in dire need of a simplified, more balanced, less mentally, physically and emotionally tyrannical idea of what parenting ought to be in the 21st century…An idea that demands re-imagining the concept of motherhood down to its essential basics, rather than up to unattainable ideals of performance.
How do we re-imagine, then, a simpler idea of working motherhood than the one we’ve been grappling with for the past 18 months, and frankly, for years before that?
The first step here is admitting to ourselves that we’ve pushed ourselves, often through no or little fault of our own, way past the brink of over-exhaustion. In sometimes desperate attempts to prove we can have it all, so many of us have, consciously or not, subscribed to an elusive idea of performative motherhood anchored in perfectionism, guilt and laced with heavy hints of imposter syndrome.
The second step is to realize at the end of the day that although we can have it all, we can’t have it all at the same time…That everything is a trade-off… That some seasons might have us trade our purpose and fulfillment for our families, while others may have us stepping on the gas of our calling as our little ones learn to fly off the nest on their own…That all in all, even as we may count some as losses and others as gains, nothing is wasted in the building of the unique mothers birthed and grown out of our unique experiences and callings…
Last but not least, simplifying the idea of modern motherhood requires us to make peace with and embrace the uncertainty and change that are not only at the core of motherhood, but has also been our reality for the past 18 months. Understanding that change is the only constant, especially as working moms navigating a precarious global health crisis, not only helps us keep our sanity; but also helps us model a nimbler, more flexible and adaptable way of working and living.
Are you re-inventing a simplified approach to work and life?
If you are a working mom yourself, the mental load involved in running a household and caring for children is no surprise to you by now. Truth is, many working moms feel quite alone carrying this invisible load, as their partner and society at large are often blissfully unaware, or unwilling to acknowledge, the strain they are under on a near-constant basis.
What does this invisible mental load look like? On any day, it may go from having to remember the kids’ doctor appointments, activities, grocery lists, clean (or not so clean) laundry, to having to improvise when a child is sick or an emergency presents itself. This is on top of holding a full-time job, trying to advance one’s career, caring for family and relatives, and attempting to be a decent human being overall. No wonder so many working moms end up feeling drained, exhausted, and resentful at the end of the day…
This mental load is also part of the reason why many working moms are not able to achieve their full potential, losing the race towards their purpose before it even starts. It also certainly has contributed to the working mom exodus we’ve witnessed during the COVID-19 pandemic. The unequal distribution of this mental load, along with its physical baggage of household chores, childcare and elderly care, is no longer sustainable in families increasingly relying on two incomes. Neither is it sustainable in a society where women constitute half or more of the population, and play a crucial role at all levels, including socially, economically, and politically.
Protecting working moms and their potential then requires equalizing the mental load between household partners. This is no easy feat, as the structural, societal, political and economical structures we’ve been socialized in, and are still living, heavily contribute in perpetuating it. In some instances, crises such as the COVID-19 pandemic tend to even accentuate it. There is no doubt then that equalizing the mental load between partners is more of a process of undoing archaic systems, beliefs and behaviors ingrained in individuals, communities and organizations for centuries. These are antiquated systems even we, as working moms, still adhere to and often unconsciously co-sign and perpetuate to our own detriment. However, it’s also a process that can reap so much fruitful progress, finally opening the door to working moms’ potential, and changing the narrative for so many little girls and boys watching their own mothers for cues for the future.
Here are a few ways to get started:
Acknowledge your own invisible mental load and beliefs
Many, if not most working moms do not acknowledge their invisible mental load until it’s almost too late and they’re too angry to get past it. Don’t get me wrong, in most instances, the anger is justified. So is the sheer exhaustion and pain hiding behind it. This is where acknowledging in an honest, concrete and pragmatic way the actual weight, impact and effect of this load come into play.
It’s hard to understand the true extent and impact of it until one takes a good, hard look at what life really is like on a day-to-day basis. It may be a matter of making a list of all the demands on one’s time on a day-to-day basis, and concretely make an honest assessment. The latter also requires honestly assessing the role one plays in carrying, even hoarding this mental load, as we often unconsciously subject ourselves to it for fear of stepping away from the “norm” as we’ve always known it.
Have an honest conversation with your partner
This may be the most challenging part by far in this process of equalizing the invisible mental load in one’s partnership. Making someone else see and perceive the heaviness of your experience, especially the parts of it that are not readily apparent to others, is no easy feat. Considering how traditional gender roles have been constructed over time, it can be even harder to challenge the status quo and preconceived notions.
Implement a process
The most effective way to tackle equalizing the invisible mental load as partners is to implement a proactive, concrete plan. Just talking about it is barely enough. Instead, getting deep into the nitty-gritty of daily tasks, concerns and questions is crucial. This may be a matter of designating who’s responsible for making and keeping appointments, who makes the phone calls, or who picks up and drops off on what days…Ideally, the distribution of tasks and responsibilities would align with each partner’s areas of strength and what they enjoy doing, so they can actually keep doing it for as long as possible.
Check in and recalibrate periodically
Processes are not infallible. Processes that challenge what most of us have been accustomed to from infancy are even less infallible. So many working moms report attempting to equalize the invisible mental load with their partners, only for things to return to the unsustainable normal it was before. This is why it’s so important to check in with each other, and re-calibrate as often as possible.
All in all, equalizing the invisible mental load for working moms is not only necessary, but it should be a priority for working moms, partnerships, and society in general to thrive. As life gets increasingly complex, it’s becoming a matter of survival for families, and an imperative in raising well-balanced children.
Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, dealing with motherhood, career, and lifestyle topics…
Dear Working Mom,
You may have considered the next step in your career for quite some time now. You may have asked yourself a thousand different questions, and imagined a thousand different scenarios. How would this change affect your family? How would the kids react? Would you still be able to keep the same schedule? Who would pick up the kids? What would you be missing out on? So many questions swirling in your head, mixed in with the anticipation and fear of moving to the next level of your career…
You’re certainly not alone…Right there along with you, are countless women playing the chess game of working motherhood. One in which career and life decisions carry more than their weight of implications, ramifications and consequences. For a working mom, a career decision is not just a career decision. It’s a family choice, a community perspective, with deeper and more impactful ramifications than one could imagine, from smaller logistical consequences such as picking up and dropping off the kids to school, to larger outcomes such as the choice to have a baby or the survival of a marriage.
Yes, taking the next step in your career as a working mom is a heavy decision, even with the world’s accolades and the support of your closest ones. The quiet, compulsive voice of motherhood guilt, rendered louder by years of societal conditioning, still raises its discouraging tone at every turn. So does the silent judgment of those unable or unwilling to accept your growth and progress…
Yet, your battle is not with the decision at hand. Neither is it with the opportunity in front of you. Your battle, the real battle, is with the voice of guilt threatening to overtake the purpose and vision set aside for you. It is with the silent judgment of those who deny you the power to expand into the fullest version of yourself. Most importantly, it is with the version of yourself that still believes in the guilt, the judgment, the inadequacy that were never yours to carry.
Dear Working Mom,
Don’t be afraid to take the next step, to move forward and grow in your purpose. Your work matters. While it may mean that some things may have to change, even that some hard choices may have to be made, when growth is possible and feasible, don’t let it slide. Not out of fear, not out of guilt, not out of judgment…
Not out of anything that may rob your children, your family, your community, from witnessing what is possible for women who dare to take the next step, against all odds.
What is the next step in your work, and are you afraid to take it? Share your story with us. Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com
Disclaimed: Please note this is a sponsored post. I may be compensated if you use the links in this post to make a purchase. Thank you for reading!
If you’re a working mom, and have ever gotten home after work, and stood in front of the fridge wondering what in the world of nutritious and tasty meals you could whip up in about 30 minutes, you’re certainly not alone…I’ve certainly been there, especially considering that I’m not the most creative or skilled cook out there…
I remember running to pick up the kids after work, only to face terrible traffic with cranky little ones in the back of the car, sometimes running to extracurricular activities and sports before getting home. This was all to get home just a short couple of hours or less before bed time, and squeeze family time, dinner, bath and bed time in a record amount of time. As African immigrants whose traditional recipes tend to be quite elaborate, cooking can be quite time-consuming.
According to this U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics survey, women tend to handle the bulk of grocery shopping and cooking in the household. As a matter of fact, mothers are the household members usually in charge of meal preparation, compared to only 19% of men preparing meals. On average, moms spend 68 minutes a day cooking meals, as compared to 23 minutes for dads. This pattern is consistent among both households with children and childless couples.
As working moms, getting good food on the table on a daily basis while juggling work, house chores, administrative tasks and healthy relationships, not to mention our own self-care, is certainly an exercise in flexibility, resilience and creativity. Even for the most efficient of moms and parents our there, daily meal freshness is not always possible, as we can be tempted to batch otherwise healthy meals to save time and maintain some level of a sane schedule. As a result, mealtime can often turn into a stressful time, instead of allowing for the fun of togetherness and healthy nutrition. Considering how limited the time we spend together as working families is, reclaiming meal time is essential.
This is where Yumble Kids comes in. Created by Joanna Parker, a mom of three who, like the rest of us, understands the pressure of spending hours every day planning and cooking healthy and delicious meals for our kids. Like so many among us, she understood perfection as a mom is not only impossible, but unnecessary. So she came up with a solution. Nutritious, delicious and ready-to-heat and eat meal choices requiring zero cooking but making possible lots more quality family time…
To do this, Yumble strives to deliver meals right to your doorstep that combine the freshness of regionally-sourced ingredients, the sustainability of 100% recyclable packaging, and the balance of healthy and yummy recipes…All this freshly delivered in a refrigerated box with a fun and engaging packaging…Speaking of fun, Yumble also goes above and beyond by sending out kid-approved activity extras, such as table topics and sticker sheets so the whole family can be entertained…
The best part? All the meal subscriptions are flexible, so you can order when you need to, and cancel or snooze too. The prices are quite reasonable, ranging from $7.99 a meal for 6 meals a week, to $5.99 a meal for 12 meals a week. You basically select a plan based on the number of meals desired, and your kids can choose from the weekly menu. The food is cooked and delivered to your doorstep every week. All you have to do? Refrigerate and heat for 90 to 120 seconds before serving.
I have to say, my kids loved the options available, and so did I. Who here does not eat their kids’ food, seriously? Our favorites as a family include the Creamy Mac and Trees (mac’n cheese and broccoli), the Vegetarian Bean Burrito and the Cheesy Veggie Casserole.
Overall, we enjoyed the delicious and nutritious meals, and the break it gave us from having to come up with good, healthy and fresh food every day. While as a family, we will still be cooking at home and bonding over our traditional African recipes, mostly on weekends and holidays when we have more time, we definitely welcome the yummy break and extra quality meal time during otherwise packed weekdays…
