by Solange Lopes | Nov 8, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
You know that woman who looks away every time the teacher, or another mom, starts talking about attending yet another school event or volunteering for school functions at 10:45am or any other time during “working hours”…Yes, that one…That was me, not too long ago…And I’m not ashamed to admit it…
I mean, yes, I did feel those pangs of motherly guilt every time I had to explain to my daughter that I may not be able to attend the Halloween morning parade on a weekday…Or that I may have to choose between volunteering for the walk-a-thon or the recital, because I couldn’t do both and keep my job and edges at the same time…
With a full-time career, a side hustle, two kids, and laundry that never seems to end, how can we, as working moms, manage to possibly attend school PTA events, or volunteer for the Christmas Bazaar (all of which happen on working days, AND during work hours)? And did I mention the pile of flyers every week or so from the kids’ school? And if you add to it soccer practice, piano recitals, birthday parties, and other kids’ social commitments, we might as well forego sleeping altogether…
Yet, as I looked over at my kids, I realized being a part of their education doesn’t just mean sending them off to school with matching socks and their breakfast semi-eaten every day…
It’s also being aware of and contributing to whatever institution is helping in shaping their view of the world…Which is all well and good and noble, but as working moms, we still have loads of other commitments , including our careers, to squeeze in somehow in those 24 hours….
So how, as a working mom, do you make time to attend and be a part of your kids’ school events, when your calendar is already overflowing and your to-do list is all over the place?
Take a Deep Breath, and Repeat After Me: “I Can’t Do It All”
Making peace with the fact that, as working moms and working parents in general, we can’t possibly do it all (and we wouldn’t want to, anyways), is the first step. I remember getting all the flyers from the kids’ school about events to attend and participate in, and progressively sweat my edges off as I attempted to reconcile my crazy calendar.
In between the guilt, the desire to do it all, and just running out of deodorant to control all that nervous sweat, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Hence the need to start with a healthy realization that you can’t do it all…And that’s ok…
It’s a Picking Game!
In line with not being able to do it all, try and pick those non-negotiable events you must attend or participate in.
Between making it to the fiftieth violin recital or not missing a single parent-teacher conference, try not missing the parent-teacher conference. If it matters for the future of your child, whether it’s a parent-teacher meeting or a fundraiser for a new tech lab, you may have to mark it as priority.
And if there are chances neither you nor your baby wound remember it next month, forgive yourself and hit the “skip” button….
Plan Ahead
It can be a challenge to drop everything and run to every possible school event your kids may have. But planning ahead can allow you to do more, minus the stress and headaches.
A good way to do this is to implement a family calendar that the entire family can update. I personally use Google calendar that I share with the rest of my tribe. This way, everyone can add their own events and update it.
Planning ahead will allow you to ask for days off or work from home days early enough, and save yourself some last-minute stress. Or make peace with missing that fiftieth violin recital…
How do you manage to attend your kids’ school events?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 26, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
When my daughter stepped away from an incoming soccer ball while playing as goalkeeper so she could straighten up her hair and keep from sweating, I realized two things:
1. She inherited my exercise-adverse genes.
2. She is my daughter.
Exercise has never been one of my favorite activities and I wasn’t surprised my baby shared the same trait. I’ve had to come to terms very early on myself with the fact that I kinda…ahem, hate exercise. The whole concept with visions of sweaty bods and huffing and puffing, makes me run to the closest bakery (or cheese shop, whatever’s nearest).
Yet as I (gracefully) age and pile on the responsibilities, laundry and those pounds that stick to your thighs, I’m learning to compromise. Plus the whole fitting into cute clothes, staying awake at work and trying to stay alive and healthy thing…
So for all the anti-exercise, super-busy-but-still-want-to-look-and-feel-good sisters (and dudes) out there, here are four tried-and-true ways to get your fitness on without all that “exercise” pressure:
- Trick your brain: This may sound unethical at best, but one’s gotta do what one’s gotta do. Which also means picking times and schedules that allow you to get your fitness on before your mind actually realizes what you’re doing. For me, it means taking the 5:45am boot camp class, or getting on the elliptical at the crack of dawn. Oh, and let’s not forget about the occasional shoe-shopping reward too! Extra benefit: everyone else is asleep (including the little people who live in your house), and you may actually get some time to yourself!
- Think less time, more impact! Ok, after about a half-hour doing any kind of workout, my brain gets in overdrive mode. Which also means staring at the clock and looking for the nearest exit! What’s been working well for me lately, are the shorter, yet maximum impact, fitness routines now available. Think of kettlebell-based routines for instance, which can help you burn more calories in as little as 15 to 30 minutes!
- Do something fun! Who said all the steps you registered on your Fitbit while walking through Nordstrom during its annual sale don’t count as fitness? Do fun stuff, get out more, park your car further from the office! All of this counts as part of your fitness routine as well. Make it a habit, without thinking of it as “exercise”! Worst case scenario: you can always clean the house (major calorie burner)!
- Recruit supporting forces! Ok, if push comes to shove, you may have to get some allies! Join forces with some friends or co-workers to start a fitness routine together! It may be a simple walk around the block at lunchtime, or a group yoga class, as long as you motivate and keep each other accountable. Plus you can always get some Pinkberry afterwards…
What do you do to get your fitness even when you hate exercise? Please share your tips and tricks below.
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 20, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Our Coffee Break feature offers brief and to-the-point discussions of everyday issues faced by women professionals and entrepreneurs. You know, the kinda stuff you talk about with your work bestie on your coffee break….
So I was listening to Myleik Teele’s podcast #MyTaughtYou earlier, and one of her listeners asked about dating a nice but not ambitious guy. If you don’t know who Myleik is, she’s like the big sister you never knew you had (check her out here), in more straightforward and to the point.
It got me thinking about the rest of us, ambitious corporate or entrepreneur sisters. When you have ambition the size of a skyscraper and the drive to match, can you really date (or marry) someone who’s kinda lower on the ambition scale?
My $0.05: This is one of those tough questions that make you weigh the pros and cons, and end up giving you a major headache plus some pregnancy cravings. Listen, if ambition is high on your list of qualities that you enjoy in a partner, it’s going to be challenging to deal with someone who doesn’t have much.
But if the other stuff, like the support, kindness, romance, etc, ranks higher, you may be able to compromise and manage. At the end of the day, it’s less about what he wants and how he behaves, than who you ultimately are comfortable and happy being with in the long run. All of you, the ambitious, go-getter part and all!
I’ve seen super-ambitious women marry less ambitious guys because they brought a sense of balance to the relationship. Two go-getters can make a relationship pretty heavy at times! Yet I also have girlfriends who are turned off by anything less than successful, driven men. And it works for them too.
So what’s your take on it? Would you date a guy who has no or limited ambition?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 13, 2016 | Career, Working Mom & Woman Tips
Work, work, work! Sometimes all there seems to be for working women is a whole lot of work. Work at work, work at home, work in our relationships, work in our businesses! And while a lot of credit should go to all these working women warriors who get so much done in so little time, there’s something to say about working smarter instead of working harder. That’s where technology, and more specifically, apps come in. Because you know, if it exists, there’s got to be an app for it…
I have to say, as moderately technology-savvy (which is an improvement in my book) as I am, I love my apps. Especially when they can help make work, life and everything around, easier to manage, track and enjoy too…
And since I’m always on the lookout for new apps to take something or another off my plate, here are 7 of my latest favorite, mom-approved, working-woman-vouched, apps to add the “easy” factor to work, life and everything in between:
This one app is a staple in my list of absolute must-have apps. If you like lists, and remembering things, and storing articles, this app will be your go-to. This is where you can save quick notes, images, audios, and sync them across all your devices at once. You can also make use of references, and its strong search feature, which allows you to retrieve information you need in record time! It’s perfect if you run a business on the side or full-time, or if you just like to keep your information in one safe place right at your fingertips.
ShopSavvy
You know the feeling of buying an item full price from store A, and seeing it in store B at…half the price (after the return period at Store A of course). Well, this app will save you some of that price comparison struggle, by allowing you to track sales at your favorite stores. Its uniques barcode feature will also let you scan whatever item you want to buy, and find out if you can snag it somewhere else at a bargain! And voila….
So you and BFF went for tapas, and now she kinda owes you 30 bucks, but asking for it would be kinda awkward…Well, now you can split the check, and avoid all the confusion (especially if the tapas were accompanied by some pretty colorful margaritas) with this app.
I have to say, after becoming a mama, my good ol’ times of grabbing a book and lounging on the couch are far and few in between. If you don’t have as much time to browse through your literature favorites, but still want to enjoy a book or two on the go, Audible is for you! You can listen while driving, running errands or cleaning the house (now who says you can’t do chores and get smarter at the same time?)….
Listen, you gotta keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind! That’s where Mint comes in, for busy working women who still want to keep track of their money! You can use it to organize your finances, pull your bank accounts, credit card bills, expenses and investments, all onto one easy to navigate platform.
This female-focused app offers more than 100 workouts designed by Nike master trainers themselves. And if like me, you’re ready to use any excuse not to work out, this app is for you! All you need is your smartphone, sneakers and a picture of that dress you’ve been saving since last year….
I’m not a big fan of unclean public bathrooms (who is?), and unfortunately, after babies, your bladder isn’t as tolerant as it used to be. Hence the need to find suitable bathrooms in unfamiliar areas! Which is exactly where this funny, but oh so useful app, comes in! SitorSquat not only shows you bathrooms in the area, but also rates them by order of ahem…cleanliness!
What other apps have made your life easier?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 12, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
It’s 7:30pm, and I’m half-lying on my daughter’s’ desk, as the hubby’s tirelessly explaining to her the concept of breaking 38 into various sets of tens and single digits. Didn’t get it? No worries, it took me a while too…If you’re a working parent (and yes, from the cubicle to the kitchen, we all are), you may be shaking your head as you read this…
Let’s be real…As much as we’re invested in our kids’ schooling, there’s that moment between the time you get home and realize dinner’s not ready (or existing for that matter), and when you’re faced with your kids’ mountain of homework. And it’s not like you remember fourth grade arithmetics, or can keep from yawning long enough to even read the topic at hand…And you know you’d rather get a root canal than admit that you have no clue what the heck their homework’s about….
I would know…As the Zero Patience Queen, some of my biggest parenting lessons have jumped at me, held me by the neck and slapped me around right around homework time. From admitting that I don’t know everything (yes, I have), to refraining from begging my baby to please understand additions before I have to pull my ‘fro off, the (homework) struggle is real. Thank God for the hubby and the power of prayer, or my edges would be resting peacefully in the Working Mom Hair’s cemetery…
There’s been quite a bit of a debate over whether parents should help kids with homework, and I do agree that parents shouldn’t do the work for their kids, or preventing them from achieving their learning milestones on their own. However, I still believe being available as a support and resource (without doing the work for them) counts mentally, emotionally and spiritually for both parents and children.
After countless evenings spent trying to remember old math concepts, and practicing silent inner meditation, here are some of the most precious lessons I’ve learnt from long homework sessions right after long days at work, applied arithmetics, and lots of love in between:
It’s Bonding Time.
If you’re a working mom (or dad) who’s ever felt those pangs of guilt when leaving your child at daycare or school to head to work, then homework time may be a great opportunity to bond while supporting your child.
I learnt at my own expense that, when it comes to homework time, it’s not just another task to cross off the family’s to-do list. It’s a good opportunity to check in on your child’s progress while still giving them enough space to do their own work (and enjoy their accomplishments). It can be as simple as being available to answer questions, or point your child to the right resources or thinking process.
Make it a collaborative process.
I remember the transition from having my babies “graduate” from daycare to preschool, and then to “real school, with actual homework, lunch bags to unpack, and a whole set of other logistical expectations to meet. And I remember the first days of coming home from work after 8+ hours at work, and answering my baby’s homework questions as I tried to hurry and empty my bladder in our now public home bathroom (yes, it gets that deep)….
Truth is, when it comes to adjusting and developing good school habits, including homework completion, it’s a learning process for both parents and children. Of course, we make it look like we’ve got it all handled, but I’d bet you even Olivia Pope would have some adjusting to do here…
After both Dear Daughter and I suffered from not being adjusted well enough to our daily routines, it took some discipline and both of us setting up a “homework ritual” to get us through the initial hurdles. Together, we’ve implemented our “3-Step system”, whereby she completes and reviews her homework (that’s Step 1), gets to ask any questions she has to help her through it (Step 2), before I or dear hubby take a look and point her to anything she may have to correct (Step 3).
Patience is a muscle.
Last but not least, the most important lesson the whole “homework” process has taught me over time is that patience, especially when it comes to parenting, is a muscle. Which also means you must exercise it, develop it, or watch it shrink in frustration as you desperately try to remember some random Pythagorean muscle…
And I’m so happy to report that our homework sessions have gone from tense and chocolate-filled, to fun and empowering times for both of us, Pythagorean concepts and all…
How do you handle the kids’ homework as a working parent?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 6, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
When I was approached by the fabulous Adore Me brand to write a post on my very own version of a Netflix and Chill night at home, I was excited to share my homebody , comfort-addict experience. So here’s my very own take on “turning in” when “turning up” isn’t exactly in the cards, or the stilettos, for the night…
Let’s be honest…How many times have you turned down an invite to hang out with the girls, or go for drinks after-hours, to rush home, slip into your favorite lounge wear, pour yourself a cup of tea glass of wine (or vodka), and turn on your favorite show or movie?
Seriously, you know you did…Well, I know I did still do every now and then more often than I’d like to admit…At the risk of sounding totally boring, there are just times when “turning in” beats “turning up” any day. Like when you can’t find a babysitter for the kids (all your little nieces and cousins have now turned 21 and will purposely not pick up your phone calls), your hair’s just not up to par (major component of a successful night out), or you just don’t feel like glamming up and hitting the town (the perennial“I have nothing to wear” dilemma)…
After many an attempt at avoiding the inevitable (aka trying hard to keep up only to finally crash in bed, painful heels, false lashes on and everything), I fabricated my own version of “turning up”.
Except the whole thing happens on my couch, minus-the-bunion-inducing-high-heels and other hazards of hitting the town. With the benefit of getting that warm corner of the couch with all the bread crumbs and other unidentified objects to the left, and not screaming inside when the kids wake you up at 6am sharp the next morning…
For me, it usually happens on Thursday nights ( Thursdays ARE the new Fridays, people) , when I’m ready to wind down and start my pre-week-end celebration in Shondaland, including my absolute favorite shows Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder. I tried picking just one, but they’re like shoes, you have to get them all at once (blame Shonda)…
My perfect Netflix and Chill night is usually with the hubby, in some stylish, yet ultra-comfy loungewear I can relax in (and still feel like I haven’t given up on style for the rest of my life). Like this cozy Colby Set from Adore Me, or this Lauren Black Pajama Set that have “cozy chic” written all over them.
All the while snacking on some (unlimited) white cheddar kettle popcorn, wrapped in my deliciously warm African Fulani blanket (similar to this one on Etsy) that I may or may not share with the hubby (some things are un-shareable, even in marriage)…
While it usually ends up with me falling asleep and frantically searching for my glasses in between the pillows three hours later, I get to spend quality time with me, myself and I, oh and the hubby too…
That is, until my reformed party animal’s toes are strong enough for another night out in the town, high stilettos, false lashes and hair on fleek and all…
Now your turn? What’s your version of a perfect Netflix and Chill night at home?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 1, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Photo credit: thecubiclechick.com
As a working parent, it’s tough to keep track of your life and career’s accomplishments, losses, and goals over time. You may be thinking of ways to improve your personal and professional life, but getting down to these and keeping track of it all can be quite the challenge. That’s why I was so excited when I came across the 2016 Working Parent Workbook by career and lifestyle expert, and my personal blogging and business inspiration, The Cubicle Chick aka Danyelle Little.
This thorough and to the point workbook is like your own personal accountability partner. Except you can carry it around with you everywhere you go and keep track of where you’re at in your life and career, even on the go. Think of it as your own personal reminder that you’re making progress on your path…
I love the simplicity of this straightforward workbook. It has just the right amount of content, and is just the right size to help you pinpoint your critical success points and roadblocks, without making you feel overwhelmed and frankly, over it all. Through simple yet extremely pertinent instructions and guidelines, it pushes you to think about what you’ve achieved so far, what you’ve failed to accomplish and where you’re headed.
I particularly love the fact that it includes a specific section about self-care, as many a working parent, especially working moms, neglect this way too often. As a working mom and entrepreneur, I really feel it’s a great tool to strategically reach my goals, without the extra fluff and overwhelm. I mean, I had to really be honest when facing my own roadblocks as well as acknowledging my strengths and weaknesses while going through the workbook, which made me see my career and business much more clearly.
All in all, I absolutely love the Fall 2016 Working Parent Workbook and recommend it to all working parents. Better yet, get an extra copy for your crazy busy sister or brother friend this Fall.
The only suggestion I’d have is another version of this workbook for managing the kids’ schedule (wink wink Danyelle :)).
PS: You can order your copy HERE!
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
