by Solange Lopes | May 31, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
I’ve been talking to a lot of my girlfriends lately, from all parts of the world, about our careers. The resounding echo I get from these conversations is pretty much the same. For many, if not most of us, we’re looking for more meaning in our work.
It’s not quite the grandiose mid-life crisis, filled with crazy shoe-shopping extravaganzas, trips to exotic locales or fantasies about the perfect man (ok I said fantasies). Neither is it the effervescent fever of the quarter-life, filled with question marks and existential queries of all kinds.
This crisis right here has us question the very meaning of our work. It has us asking ourselves questions like: “What’s my purpose?” “What’s my passion?” “”Heck, do I have a passion?” What am I here to do?”
In between shuttling the kids to and from school and activities, making last minute meal plans, trying to pray the laundry away, we stop and ask ourselves if we’re really fulfilling our purpose. Heck, do we even have a purpose, other than care for everyone else around, go above and beyond at work, home and everywhere in between?
As messages of female empowerment have never been more in our face than ever, it seems to be increasingly difficult to keep our power. We’re called on to slay as we climb the corporate ladder, build businesses, maintain successful relationships and friendships, and still find enough time to exercise, exfoliate and try the latest natural hair product out! Really?
What no one really talks about, at least not loud enough, is the fact that in the midst of what may be the biggest achievement century for women, we’re simply…exhausted! And a bit lost… Even more so as we don’t really have a chance to publicly admit it…
While we’re all about gender equality, female entrepreneurship and everything badass, fierce and slaying for women, many of us are lost. Yes, we’re slaying at work, at home and in business. We’ve got jobs (in the words of RHOA’s Phaedra Parks), kids, side hustles, meal plans, exercise routines, down to scheduled intimacy…
We’ve never been busier, but are we fulfilled? We’ve never been more positive, but are we intentional? We’ve never worn so many hats, but are we productive?
Maybe in this great rush to have it all, do it all and then some, maybe we’re skipping a few steps…That may be why after all the empowerment, the glass ceiling smashing, business dominating and all the slaying we can possibly muster, we’re still left wondering about what work really means to us….And how we can really, truly, achieve meaning through it? Not the meaning the world is looking for, but our own kind of unique, peculiar, flexible meaning….
Just scroll through the timelines of most of your girlfriends, mine included. Most likely, you’ll see gleaming pics of happy vacations, perfect family moments and extreme productivity. With the perfect Insta-worthy background too…
What you won’t see are the doubts, the moments in your car when all you want to do is scream because baby daughter got another late ticket at school, you forgot your left earring and you’d give up dessert forever to get a job you really love.
But you know, you’re an adult now, you’ve got to toughen it out and put on your brave face…So you dry your tears, post another positive affirmation on Instagram, and leave the daunting task of finding deeper meaning for your work to tomorrow….
After all it ain’t a crisis if no one knows about it, right?
Let me ask you this: do you agree that many women are trying to find deeper meaning in their work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
by Solange Lopes | May 23, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Summers can be challenging for working moms. The kids are out of school, the weather’s nice, and everything around is not exactly conducive to being stuck in the office all day long. I mean, let’s be real…
For many, if not most, the solution is to ask for a flexible schedule in the summer. Whether’s it’s working from home one (or a few) days aweek, compressing your hours into four (4) days instead of five (5), or shifting your schedule in a way that aligns with your family and personal life, being more flexible schedule-wise in the summer is always a plus.
Think about it: a flex schedule can not only make your life much easier in the summer, especially when it comes to picking up your kids early from camp (or just keep them entertained), or being able to enjoy more summer activities with your family. But it can also get you out of what I call that “summer office funk“, you know, when your productivity dips below sea level because your mind (and your body) just ain’t trying to be there…
But I know what you’re thinking…You may have thought about it before, and just vaguely dismissed it because you thought it wouldn’t be possible. Or that it wouldn’t really work for you or the type of work you’re doing…Well, think again…
While there definitely are instances (and jobs) where a flex schedule is not welcome or encouraged, or even practical at all, there are times when you can argue your flex schedule case and…win! I was in such a case once, and a fellow corporate sister at the time encouraged me to do the ask. I did, and it worked! So from me to you, here are a few steps you can take to ask to flex your schedule this summer:
Identify Your Schedule Priorities
Start by pinpointing your schedule priorities. What’s most important to you when it comes to your schedule? What schedule adjustments would make your life more stress-free and easier to manage?
Whether it’s fitting in some workout time, or even just saving some space in your schedule to get that side hustle off the ground, identifying your schedule priorities is key!
After my daughter was born in the summer a few years back, it was important for me to have Fridays as work-from-home days to spend more time with her. Besides, being able to do laundry while on conference calls also helps!
Find out and Understand What’s Appropriate to Ask for
After you’ve identified what your scheduling priorities are, now let’s consider your company culture. Understanding the various types of flexibility allowed by your workplace is paramount to making the right ask.
Start with your employee handbook in case there are some ground rules you need to know about. You can also ask around to other working moms (and dads) who may have used or are still using flextime in the summer. The point is to check what’s practicable and what’s not in your specific professional environment.
For me, it was a matter of asking around after my daughter was born. I got great feedback from the other working moms, which allowed me to present a better case for my own flex schedule. Which brings me to…
Present Your Case Smartly
The smarter you are about how you present your case when asking for flextime in the summer (or anytime really), the better! Remember that you must be able to demonstrate that a more flexible arrangement will not impede your productivity, and may even make you more productive…
So present your case in a way that shows the positives a flex schedule would have on your work first. You can cite reasons such as increased work-life balance, or the fact that you’d be available at any time of the workday….
Also consider offering a couple of flex schedule alternatives instead of just one. This way, you’re giving more choice to your employer while showing that you’re willing to be flexible. No pun intended…
Try It First
Set up a trial period with your employer to demonstrate that this new schedule will not reflect poorly on your performance. Set some goals with your manager, and work to reach them during this trial period.
The point is to demonstrate to your employer that you’re trustworthy, and are able to maintain your performance while on an adjusted schedule.
Don’t Drop the Communication
One of the most important aspects of striving on a flex schedule is maintaining the communication. After all, you’re not there in the office to communicate with your boss or team directly.
So make sure to keep your manager and team abreast of your progress. Also keep your involvement up via email and phone discussions. This is not a case of “far from the eyes, far from the mind”…
What’s your take on asking for flex time in the summer?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
by Solange Lopes | May 17, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Time to celebrate the working dads in our lives! Father’s Day is fast approaching, and if you’re looking for gift ideas for the dads in your life, we’re sharing our list of gift ideas for you!
While we’re all about giving working moms their props, the working dads in our lives deserve some praise too! That’s why we’ve compiled a list of practical, fun, and all around cool, gifts for dads! So let’s give the working men in our lives the gift of swag, smarts and fun:
Hover Camera Passport Drone
Give Dad the gift of becoming his own personal self-flying photographer with the Hover Camera Passport Drone! This flying camera captures breathtaking shots in 4K videos and 13MP photos, by following you mid-air. It’s portable, easy to fly and safe to maneuver. Simply tap the power button, release and voila!
Hover Camera Passport Drone – Photo credit: iTunes.com
Amazon Echo
Nothing like a hands-free speaker you can control with your voice to make Dad feel like a king! Amazon Echo can literally play music, make calls, provide information, send and receive messages, and so much more, just by speaking instructions to it…Kinda like his own personal assistant…
Amazon Echo – Photo credit: amazon.com
Yeti Cooler
Backyard barbecue or fishing trip? No problem. The Yeti cooler is perfect for the working dad who likes to get away on week-ends, or just chill in the backyard over the summer. It features up to 3 inches of permafrost insulation, and is virtually indestructible.
Yeti cooler – Photo credit: amazon.com
Wireless Stereo Headset
For the busy working dad on the go, this LG wireless stereo headset with bluetooth capacity is perfect! Whether to hit the gym, or just to take calls on quick errands, it guarantees outstanding audio quality while being super comfortable and practical for everyday use!
LG Wireless Headset – Photo credit: amazon.com
NBA Leather Sherpa Trucker Jacket
Combine a classic leather jacket with an NBA theme, and you’ve got the perfect Father’s Day gift. This leather sherpa trucker jacket is the result of a collaboration between the NBA and iconic brand Levi’s, and a nice compromise between sportswear and fashion.
NBA Leather Trucker Sherpa Jacket – Photo credit: elle.com
Nintendo Switch
Most men have a sweet spot for video games, and the dads in your lie may be no exception! One of the hottest items in the video gaming world right now is the portable Nintendo Switch. It’s super practical, has detachable Joy-Con controllers that allows for multiple players, or can be played individually as well.
Nintendo Switch – Photo credit: amazon.com
Pro Chef Knife
Get Dad a Chef’s gift this Father’s Day! The Wusthof classic 8-inch chef’s knife is a classic from a top brand used by the most famous chefs worldwide!
Wusthof Chef’s Knife – Photo credit: amazon.com
Skincare Kit
Who doesn’t love a man who takes care of his skin? This Father’s Day, spoil the dads in your life with the Clinique Daily Age Care for Men kit. He’ll thank you, and you’ll love it!
Clinique for Men kit – Photo credit: sephora.com
FreshBooks Software
Encourage dad to be more on top of his business finances with the Freshbooks software! This small business accounting software makes billing so much easier and painless!
Freshbooks software – Photo credit: freshbooks.com
I hope this guide has something for the working dad in your life!
Cheers,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | May 14, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Welcome to episode #8 of the Working Girls Club podcast! In this episode, we’re all about working moms, and we’re discussing re-writing the rules around what it means to be a working mom in our day and age! As a working mom myself, I know the struggle is real, but so are the incredible rewards and the power to build our legacies and push the boundaries of what it means to be a working mama…Here’s to the badass, thriving, ambitious working moms who are taking over the world!
What you’ll learn/listen to/enjoy in this episode:
- How being a working mom today is so different than any other time before
- Why we owe it ourselves to shatter the ceilings around us and leave a legacy
- 6 rules to live, love and thrive by as a working mom today
- Plus: my review of ” A Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes and some deets on my first workshop
- Introducing a “Products and Recommendations” section on the podcast, where I discuss tools that I use and stand behind. Today’s recommendation is the Selz online content digital platform for all digital content creators and entrepreneurs out there!
Links:
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Any feedback you’d like to share? Please leave a note in the comments section below!
Also, leave me a review for the WGC podcast on iTunes!
Your ratings and reviews are not only greatly appreciated, but they also help the show rank better!
If you have any questions, please email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Finally, please don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes to get automatic updates!
Thanks so much for your support!
Until next time,
The Corporate Sis.
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by Solange Lopes | May 11, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
This post is part of a Working Mom series run by The Corporate Sister in honor of Mother’ Day.
Listen, if there ever were the equivalent of “Alcoholic Anonymous” for Chronically Late Working Moms, I’d be right there. On the front row, with that “guilty as charged” look all over my late face….Or I’d probably be running late to my “Chronically Late Anonymous” meeting too, trying to make up plausible excuses for being late to the late people meeting…All around too little too late…
via GIPHY
To be honest, motherhood didn’t really saddle me with my Chronically Late Syndrome. There was simply a transfer from horribly late teen, to seriously behind college student, to young women addicted to being late. And now, I was that mom who begged the school superintendent to spare her kids yet another late ticket because after all, the bell only rang 10 minutes ago…
As much as my case may warrant professional treatment, I’m far from being alone. Ask any working mom around if there’s one thing she’ll trade her favorite pair of heels, ice cream flavor and most flattering bra for, and you’ll most likely hear: Time! You know, that precious commodity that becomes even more precious than money or anti-aging cream after you give birth to one or a few little humans who seem to require all your extra time and energy.
I never thought I’d ever say I’d rather have extra time than my very own, very lavish personal shoe closet a la Carrie Bradshaw. But when you have to beg for a few minutes of silence as you focus on your bodily functions while sitting on the throne in the unwelcome company of little people asking for snacks, you know how crucial time is…
via GIPHY
After losing, wasting, and crying over spilled milk time over and over again (plus more than my share of missed doctors’ appointments, late fees and other time-related annoyances), I had to bow down to the gods of time management. After too many silently condemning looks from the kids’ teachers after we officially beat the lateness record for the entire grade, rushing out to the car without the car keys, and running so late I forgot about the buttons on my buttoned-down shirt, I decided it may be time for a change.
So for all my fellow Chronically Late Working Moms, or if you just want more time to hear your thoughts, here are some ways to actually create more time out of our busy schedules:
I know, this is a process, like getting over the fact we’ll never marry Denzel or have Gabrielle Union’s perfect skin! I was so conditioned to making to-do lists I started turning the kids into lists of deliverables with specific deadlines…There’s just something about laying down all these mini-goals and crossing them off the page with a loud sigh of victory and a delish chocolate reward…
But really, all these lists do is stress the heck out of us, taking us even further from Gabrielle Union’s perfect skin, so let’s ditch the to-do list! Besides, there’s always something to add to the list, which ends us never ending anyways.
That’s where the “Urgent/Not Urgent’ system comes in. Translation: if it’s not life-changing, life-altering, or doesn’t violate any law, it isn’t urgent and can wait.
Too simplistic! Maybe, but it at least allows you to sort in between what must be done now and what, like that pile of laundry from last Tuesday, can wait…
via GIPHY
Ever heard about the 80/20 rule? Aka the Pareto principle? This seemingly complex concept only states that 80% of our results come from 20% of our work. Just like 80% of the world’s wealth is distributed among 20% of the population…Now it’s just a matter of finding them and marrying them, but I digress…
So ask yourself this question: “ What’s the #1 thing you can do that will have the most impact?”
Ok, do that first.
Then what’s the #2 thing you can do with the most impact. Then do that next.
As a general rule, start with the toughest task. Some may argue that it’s pretty discouraging, but at the same time, it allows for more progress and peace of mind. How’s that for efficiency?
via GIPHY
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Invest in rest and exercise
Ok, I have to admit, I’m the first one to which this rule applies. When it comes to rest and exercise, I’m a case study in need for improvement to happen.
But here’s the thing, the same way you invest your money in stocks, bonds or real estate, investing your money in actually taking care of that body and mind of yours can reap the best rewards over time. And no, I’m not talking about investing your haard-earned cash on the latest waterproof mascara and HD foundation at Sephora. Although, you know…
So I’m learning to actually set aside time for rest (think: go to bed early instead of watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta on repeat, so you can get up early), and exercise. The more you put in, the more you reap in terms of energy, clarity, and efficiency. Which also means the more you can do with your time…
via GIPHY
You’ve heard this before: “No is a complete sentence”. Some folks will never get it, but you actually don’t have to save the world, answer every phone call, and text everyone back. You can just say “No”, and save yourself some time to invest in YOU. Yup, just like that…
via GIPHY
So tell me, how will you be creating more time as a working mom?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Apr 26, 2017 | Start Your Business, Working Mom & Woman Tips
This post is part of a Working Mom series run by The Corporate Sister in honor of Mother’ Day.
So you thought this entrepreneur thing would be all glitz and glam? That you’d finally get a full 8 hours of sleep while running your empire and keeping up with your weekly facials? The life of a successful, thriving mompreneur sporting slick hair, an impeccable manicure and the latest Louboutins…
Fast-forward into the (real) entrepreneurial world, and here you are, broken nails, hanging over the dinner casserole as you’re about to drop your cell phone in the pan while yelling at your nightmarish customer… Did you just get that mental picture? Yes, it’s that of a successful mompreneur juggling kids, dinnertime, broken nails, and a hopefully growing empire…
Truth is, I no longer want to hear about entrepreneurship as this safe haven for all our childhood dreams…Especially as a tired mom who can’t seem to convince my youngest to abide to daily showering for cleanliness’s sake, or get my primer to actually keep the doggone makeup on for more than a couple hours…
The reality is that for most mompreneurs out there, glitz and glam are as elusive as shaving every week (especially in the winter). Unless you’ve reached mogul status, in which case you still have to bribe your kids not to pull your fancy earrings or drop tapioca pudding in your Victoria’s Secret fine bra, you’re struggling…
You’re struggling to get everybody in and out of the shower with clean teeth and semi-clean bodies (trust me, there is no foolproof way of checking every one of the little body crevices). You’re struggling to type the next blog post while dear daughter is painting your toe nails with kiddie nail polish. And you’re struggling to finish that client project when everyone else in the house is snoring, and your eyes are arguing with you to shut down once and for all (and you know the suckers will win)…
Nothing against “dad-preneurs”, or “male-preneurs” everywhere, but there’s something about putting together two life missions like motherhood and entrepreneurship/following your calling/heeding the call that makes it a unique and oh so demanding combination…It’s not like you can clock out at 5pm, shut off that”work” compartment and go have “family time”…
If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re breathing entrepreneurship. And if you’re a mom, you’re breathing motherhood…If you’re both, you’re constantly catching your breath as you’re running from one demand to the other…No bathroom breaks here…
What I’ve learnt about being an air-deprived mompreneur with toes painted with kiddie nail polish can be summarized in three easy bullet points (because there’s no time for more, really):
Let’s start with a quick reality check…There’s something about entrepreneurship that has this “never finished” quality. Which means the whole glamorous side of it, including sitting at a well-organized desk, surrounded by positive affirmations and healthy lemon water? Not so much. It’s the stuff of well-lit Instagram posts that aim to convince you that being a mompreneur is so seductive…
Instead, what you really may deal with may range from not having time to shower, and taking client calls while holding the baby in one arm and stirring the dinner pot with the other. Because entrepreneurship is not just a job, it’s a lifestyle, unlike traditional 9-to-5 that can be left behind after hours. And for moms, it happens to add onto an already packed schedule.
After the glum first reality check, let’s add that it does get easier. The biggest hurdle as to being a mompreneur is setting a more or less flexible schedule to adhere to on a daily basis. And that requires time to fine-tune all your obligations, appointments and to-do’s into a somewhat harmonized day, all the while managing to get decent sleep and comb your hair every now and again…
The part when it gets easier is when you get better at planning your days, making room for the unexpected, and making peace with not hitting all your goals all the time. Oh, and rewarding yourself too for all those times you make it to the finish line with the same shoes on each foot…
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You get better all around!
Did I mention being a mompreneur is a lifestyle all in itself? Which also means it requires you to integrate all the different parts of your life into a coherent whole, while making sure everyone’s fed, bathed, dressed and not left behind…
The great thing about going through the hardships of being a mompreneur is that these teach you invaluable tools to manage chaos. This means you get mentally tougher, you execute better, and you learn to discern the priorities from the not-so-important stuff.
Does it all come at once? Certainly not. It’s going to be a long-term trial-and-error type of thing. But in the end, or as you joyfully spring somewhere towards the light at the end of the tunnel, it all becomes clearer. What matters, what does not, and what really needs to go…And that’s the gift!
What has been your reality as a mompreneur?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Apr 25, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
When the “Take Your Daughter to Work” Day (celebrated on the fourth Thursday of April) was founded back in 1993, the point of it all was to promote gender equality. While it expanded to include sons 10 years later, there’s something about the very fact that we can show our daughters what it means to be a working woman that shouldn’t be overlooked. Or treated lightly…
I mean, it’s one thing saying to dear daughter that she can become anything she puts her mind to. It’s another to actually show her. And not just in terms of what Mommy or Daddy does, but in terms of what it possible, beyond Mom’s Feng shui cubicle or Dad’s dusty desk…
If you’re getting ready to dust off your desk and make your cubicle/office baby-daughter-ready, then here are 5 lessons you may want to consider sharing with baby girl on ‘Take Your Daughter to Work” Day:
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Girls (and women) can do all kinds of work
I have to say, my first impulse to take Dear Daughter to work can be summed up in two words: Girl Power! I do want her to see that girls, and women, are represented in workplaces. Not just through the glorious (and slightly disorganized) examples of her own mom and dad, but by observing other women at work as well.
This means not just taking Dear Daughter around you own department or group, but also giving her a tour of the company, especially around female leadership. It’s important for our daughters to see that women can fill many positions and roles at work, from CEO to janitor, and to let them form their own images of what the working world looks like…
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There’s no such a thing as perfect balance
After all the initial Girl Power moments, comes the much-needed reality check lesson. I have to admit, one of my big first reality checks coming into adulthood “working mode” was that there isn’t any balance whatsoever as a working woman. Not just because we have kids or significant others or a social life, but because having a career is an automatic one-way into no-balance land. Between being our best selves at work, slaying our life goals, returning calls and paying the mortgage on time, working life is a juggling act.
So one of the most important lessons I’ve always wanted to pass on to Dear Daughter is to not expect the whole work thing to be nice and neat and organized. Which means teaching our daughters that the chaos of early mornings, unexpected traffic jams, and dealing with crisis at work is normal. And can actually be fun if we take it all as a challenge, as opposed to insurmountable obstacles…
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Work can look like a lot of different things
This is the part that I’d call “job diversity”. Ok, maybe this is not the optimal term, but it works for now…And it consists in carefully imprinting in Baby Daughter the idea that work is not just what Mommy (or Daddy) does. It’s not just what the well-dressed CEO sitting at the clean desk overlooking the Bay area does either.
It’s also what the lady janitor does so well when she cleans the toilets. Or what the lady at the building entrance does when registering guests inside the offices…
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Work can change
One of the most frequent misconceptions we may unwillingly transmit to our children is that work is static. That Mommy or Daddy goes to the same job every day, gets money for it that they can in turn use to buy them toys or pay for the tokens at Chuck-e Cheese. Pretty basic, right?
Except what this does is stick our kids into the idea that work is this humongous prison all adults go lock themselves in every day. Wrong! Instead, why not use Take Your Daughter to Work day as an incentive to realize that work does change. This can be done by having them talk to other women (and men) at work who had different careers and positions throughout their careers.
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You have to find the work that makes you happy!
Last but not least, work is what should give you the same feeling as when you complete a difficult puzzle, or help a friend in need, or run through that obstacle course you never thought you could even begin. Work is fulfilling, satisfying, challenging. Work makes you happy, and on edge, and full, whatever that looks like…
What lessons would you teach your daughter on Take Your Daughter to Work Day?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
