by Solange Lopes | Oct 24, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
If you look at your calendar as a working woman, you may be tempted to take a dive and just swim in it. As working women, our schedules can be closer to Madness Land if we don’t stop and actually re-focus ourselves every now and again.
I know my biggest struggle when it comes to being productive and effective is managing my time effectively. As a mom, a wife, an entrepreneur, a sister and friend, wearing the many hats life throws at me can be quite the juggling act. When you must be everywhere all at once, setting priorities is crucial.
Here are 7 questions to ask yourself daily to manage your time effectively as a working woman:
-
What matters the most?
It’s one thing to make a to-do list, it’s another to determine what matters the most. However you decide to rank your priorities, decide what matters the most in order to accomplish your goals and objectives for the day. What has the most impact on your goals and success? That’s what you should zoom in on.
This may also mean making peace with not getting every little thing done, but focusing on what matters most.
-
What can I say no to today?
We may tend to want to include just about everything that may fit into our calendar. However, mastering the art of picking and choosing what to say no to is crucial to meeting your goals. Every day, ask yourself what you can say no to, so you can actually say yes to what matters and has the biggest impact on your success.
-
Why am I doing this?
Identifying the “why” behind your actions goes a long way towards setting your priorities in the right order. What is the motive behind what you do day in and day out? If the reason behind what you do is not tied to improving yours or someone else’s success, then it may be worth reconsidering whether it shoud be part of your to-do list.
-
How can I do this better and faster?
Managing your time effectively also means creating systems and processes that allow you to perform certain tasks faster and better. Can you look at the tasks and responsibilities that fill out the bulk of your time and devise ways to execute them faster and better?
-
When do I have to get this done by?
Deadlines are important, not just as gatekeepers of our time, but also as mechanisms to help us organize ourselves better. What is more urgent? What needs to be completed first? Putting yourself in a position to complete your tasks within their deadlines will not only make you more fulfilled and satisfied. It will also free up time to tackle other tasks on your to-do list.
-
How much help am I getting?
Managing your time more effectively also means getting the right kind of support around you. How are you being supported in the achievement of your goals? Who in your network is offering their help and support? Answering this question will help you find out about your support network, and learn to ask for help as well, so you can save time and focus on your strengths.
-
Is this going to matter in five years?
Whenever I face a seemingly impossible obstacle, I ask myself if it’s going to matter in five years. What’s the impact of your actions? Is this impact short-term or long-term? If it won’t matter in the future, you may have to either push it to the bottom of the list, or take it out of your to-do list entirely.
How do you manage your time more effectively?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 16, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
By Lauren Smith Brody
In honor of National Boss Day, The Corporate Sister is pleased to share this article by Lauren Smith Brody, author of “The Fifth Trimester”. In this article, Lauren Smith Brody has partnered with Total Wireless to share her tips for successful working moms.
Did you know that today (October 16) is National Boss’s Day? Here’s my take: The bosses who should be celebrated with the most cupcakes and flowers today are Boss Moms—working moms who do it all and get it done at all hours of the day, and with only a fraction of that time rewarded with an actual paycheck. In fact, according to a recent survey by Total Wireless, 95 percent of moms say that the most stressful part of being a working mom is the pressure to juggle work and family responsibilities to perfection. Do they always get it done without ever losing their cool? Au contraire, ma mere.
In my version of this national holiday, being a Boss Mom means you bless the mess, celebrate the journey that got you to where you are today and realize that a satisfied life is rarely a balanced one…but a happy one. That’s why I’m teaming up with Total Wireless to celebrate Boss Moms and how they do it all on National Boss’s day and beyond.
- LEARN THIS TERM: “MENTAL LOAD.” The mental load is the reason that I know how many eggs are in our fridge right now and how high the temperature has to be in order for my boys to be allowed to wear shorts to school (love that dress code). It is also the reason that I occasionally forget to sign a check that I put in the mail (thank you, payment apps for helping me out here). The mental load is the labor we do in our minds keeping track of 1,273,038 things even when we aren’t technically working or parenting. And that work deserves to be acknowledged.
- HOLD THE JUDGEMENT, PLEASE. Here’s something wonderful about 2017 (an otherwise complicated year, to say the least): We are officially no longer living in a society where it is socially appropriate for working moms to judge stay-at-home moms, and vice versa. I’ve interviewed hundreds of moms for my book and company, and the general consensus was this: We are all just doing our best to raise the next generation. And yet, so many mothers still admitted to judging themselves. Enough, I say! According to the same survey by Total Wireless, 95 percent of moms know that the journey to success hinges on having the confidence to make the necessary choices…and often those choices include sacrifice. Do not feel guilty. Instead, celebrate your accomplishments. It’s all part of the journey of satisfaction we’re modeling for our kids.
- SKIP SOMETHING. Want to know the best feeling in the world (better than the candle-lit bubble bath you’ve been meaning to take for three years now)? Open up your calendar and delete one thing from next week. Here, I’ll even give you your excuse: “I’m looking ahead and realizing I’ve overscheduled myself for next week. Let’s please cancel/move our lunch/meeting/obligation/endeavor/commitment.” Another option if it’s something you can’t miss entirely: Downgrade an in-person meet-up to a phone call. Everyone’s more efficient that way, and you can order groceries online at the same time if needed.
- CALL YOUR OWN BOSS MOM. Better yet, FaceTime her (because you know she won’t mind if you’re not wearing any makeup…or if you have to leave her staring at the ceiling while you attend to the 2-year-old’s bloody nose). Whether your mom worked out of the home or not, the list of skills you learned from her is surely long and mighty. (The same survey I reference above found more than half of working women consider their own moms the ultimate “total boss.”) Did she teach you to drive (thus ensuring you can do that last conference call of the day while in the privacy of your own car)? Did she force you and your sister to “work it out between you two” (and give you team-building skills that you use to this day?). It’s vital to acknowledge that stuff, not just because it makes her feel appreciated…but because it makes you realize how much wisdom you’re imparting to your own kids that they’ll use one day. Oh, tell your mom that part too!
This National Boss’s Day, join me and Total Wireless in celebrating working moms for everything they’ve accomplished—including the choices and sacrifices they’ve made to get where they are today.
With great coverage on America’s largest and most dependable 4G LTE† network, Total Wireless gives you the confidence to plan and celebrate the ‘total boss’ mom in your life—all from the palm of your hand with your smartphone. Learn more at TotalWireless.com.
Lauren Smith Brody, author of “The Fifth Trimester”
Lauren Smith Brody is the founder of The Fifth Trimester movement to help businesses and families improve workplace culture together; she is the author of the best-selling book, The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby. Prior to launching her own business, Lauren had a 16-year career in magazine publishing, most recently as the executive editor of Glamour magazine. She’s partnering with Total Wireless to share her Total Boss Mom strategies—hectic schedule, two little boys, messy home, and all. Check out TotalWireless.com to learn more about the latest phones and the best deal in wireless.
*The 30-Day cycle for Shared Data Family Plans begins on the day the first line/device is activated. Any line(s)/device(s) activated later in the first 30-Day cycle will receive only the number of days remaining in that cycle. A month equals 30 days.
†To get 4G LTE speed where available you must have a 4G LTE capable device and a 4G LTE SIM card. Actual availability, coverage and speed may vary. LTE is a trademark of ETSI. Please always refer to the latest terms and conditions of service at TotalWireless.com.
This survey was commissioned by Total Wireless and conducted by Survata, an independent research firm in San Francisco. Survata interviewed 1,069 online respondents between September 29, 2017 and October 4, 2017. For further information, visit www.survata.com.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 21, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
The Awakened Family by Shefali Tsabari
There are few books that have made me think about my family history and the way I parent my children more than “The Awakened Family” by Dr. Shefali Tsabari. As a working mom of two, it’s so easy to get wrapped in the busyness of every day and avoid consciously thinking about parenting. Although there’s so much advice out there around the “right” way to be a parent, how to discipline our children, what to do and not to do, there’s no set formula for raising balanced, fulfilled kids.
The truth is, when it comes to parenting, many of us learn as we go. As much as we may like to pretend we know what we’re doing, most of us face, at some point or another of our parenting journey, the ultimate question: “Am I doing this right?”
The premise of “The Awakened Family” is that as conscious parents, we must focus on ushering our children into their destiny and allowing them to be their own persons, rather than seeking to impose our own will and desires on our kids. Dr. Tsabari encourages us to distinguish between the parenting habits we’ve acquired from our culture, experience or social conditioning while growing up, and parenting that actually helps our children be more of who they are.
I’m a world citizen born and raised in Senegal (West Africa) with African and European influences, who now resides in America and is married to a Cape Verdian man. Quite the cultural melting pot! If you now add to the mix kids born in America in a household that speaks Wolof, Creole, French and English, plus the mainstream Spanish because: Despacito and the need to get your hair pressed pin straight, we’re in International Land!
That’s also what Dr. Tsabari talks about in her book, as she recounts her own experience as an Indian woman who studied and later settled in the US. Faced with the impact of her own culture on her understanding and interpretation of life and parenting, she made the conscious decision, with the support of her parents, to stop allowing external influences from her upbringing and prior experiences to determine her destiny and how she raises her child.
In the same way, she advises us as parents to take a good hard look at how our own upbringing, cultural values and generational traditions, are standing in the way of our being able to parent consciously. We often repeat the same parenting patterns we’ve seen in our childhood, forgetting (or denying) some (or all) of the damaging effects these may have had on us. This is not to diminish the precious cultural values we’ve received in any way. Rather, it is to awaken us to the fact that each child is different, and must be raised as a way to enhance their strengths and qualities, rather than reject what may not agree with what we’ve been taught or exposed to.
Similarly, we also often allow outside circumstances and the weight of our personal lives and experiences, to affect the way we relate to our kids. We forget that we tend to project onto them our feelings and beliefs, without taking into account that they are their own people with their own dreams, destinies, tastes and preferences. Instead, we may unknowingly impose our worldview on them under the premise of absolute parental authority.
Reading Dr. Tsabari’s books, I was reminded of all those times when I repeated some of the parenting patterns I experienced as a child. While these were certainly valuable, they may not apply to the human beings I am given the privilege and responsibility to raise. Instead of looking at them as individual personalities in-forming, I may at times have projected onto them my own behaviors, thoughts, patterns, and wishes.
How many times do we stop and ask ourselves if the way we raise our children is for their greater good? How many times do we stop and collaborate with them to better understand them, rather than constantly telling them what to do? And how often do we stop and consider that their misbehaving and rebelling may actually be calls to pay attention to who they are, rather than who we want them to be? Most importantly, how often do we question ourselves as parents, and try to grow first before casting judgment on our children?
In her book, Dr. Tsabari explores our need to better understand ourselves and be more in touch with who we are as parents first. Children can very easily catch up on our vibes, even when we pretend to be someone we’re not. As such, we must first master ourselves, independently of the influences that may have shaped us. It’s only then that we can mirror to our children the values we try so hard to instill in them, but often fail to do so because they don’t see us living what we preach.
All in all, this book has changed the way I look at parenting, especially as a multicultural woman. I highly recommend it to all parents and anyone else looking to be more conscious of the way they parent.
What other books would you recommend?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Aug 31, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Transitioning for the lazy, carefree and unstructured days of summer with late nights and later mornings, to back to school, can be a serious challenge. Especially when you’re the chronicall late mom in your whole neighborhood country…
Every year in my household, we all have to go through what feels like a complete back-to-school brainwash. Getting back in the groove of going to bed, rising early, and getting ready in the morning, is a process! It’s like your brain goes through summer withdrawal, and refuses to consider anything remotely connected to schedules, order or alarm clocks for that matter…
For years, we’ve had to go through painful back-to-school transitions, filled with morning crisis, late school tickets, and leaving my brain on consignment between home, school and work… After a few traumatic starts to the school season, we’ve finally started learning… the hard way! The last thing you want is to have tired, stressed out and frazzled kids head back to school with limited focus and lots of resistance. Oh and parents looking for their phones while they’re speaking on it…
Here are 6 tips to go from the crazy days of summer to the structured schedule of back-to-school, as painlessly as possible:
1. Set goals with the kids
It helps to start with having a conversation about the upcoming change in schedule and structure ahead of time. Kids of school age will better adapt to the back-to-school transition when they know what to expect.
Starting a few weeks before school to talk to them about returning to school, and the changes that will happen may help make the transition smoother.
2. Start with fire drills
I don’t know about you, but in my neck of the woods, we need fire drills to get through certain transitions like back-to-school. A couple of weeks before school starts, try to set earlier bedtimes.
Start changing the routine progressively over the few weeks before school starts. It will help make it easier for both kids and parents.
3. Prepare the night before
I’m a veteran of what I call “working mom chronic lateness”. I’m from a long line of chronically late working moms. For years, my mornings have been the perfect image of chaos, complete rushing around trying to find backpacks, lunches, and matching socks.
The antidote to morning craziness? Preparing the night before. Trust me, it took me years of frantically scrambling in the morning to finally get it. From laying clothes out (down to the socks, because these little things will play with your fuzzy mind in the morning) to preparing backpacks and important documents the night before, getting ready ahead of time will make a world of difference.
4. Set a drop-off and pick-up zone in the house
If you’ve ever driven back home twice in the same morning because you forgot the kids’ lunch form, your cell phone and the baby’s left shoe, you know how important it is to have a pick-up and drop-off zone in the house. That’s the area where you drop off anything that you must take with you in the morning.
This includes backpacks, important forms, shoes, and pretty much anything that may skip your mind in the morning. I’m looking for one where you can also park your brain, but apparently it may still be in production…
5. Set an early time
No, you will not get up right on time and magically get ready in 15 minutes! No matter how much your tired brain tries to convince you that you can sleep for 5 more minutes, don’t do it! Instead, set your alarm extra early to give yourself enough time, in case your lens refuses to connect with your left eye, or the right side of your hair insists on remaining frizzy….
6. Give kids time hints
Give the kids a break! It’s hard to understand the concept of time, or that we only have about 7 minutes to get the hair done (I’m talking about kinky-curly-resistant-to-any-brush hair), swallow the cold breakfast and get strapped up in the car.
I used to start yelling like a sergeant general about 10 minutes before the bell rang (at school, while we were still home). Instead, give the kids hints about how much time they have left throughout the morning. This gives them a better sense of time, plus some hints as to when Mom is going to start losing it now…
How to do you help your kids transition from summer to back-to-school?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jul 26, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
It's that time of the year again! Back-to-school season is in full swing, and with it what I like to call the "backpack fever". The other day, my little one pointed out the fact that his backpack's zipper was broken, so here we go!
In my household, it's a tradition to shop for new backpacks at the start of the year (or dust off the old backpack if it will be surviving another school year). We make it a family affair and love to browse fun, sturdy and reasonably-priced backpack options with the kids.
As a recovering nerd and eternal school lover myself, it takes me back to those days back home in Senegal when getting a new backpack for the school year had me partying for days.
I was raised by a struggling single mom at the time, and getting a new backpack was the closest thing to luxury back then. It's still one of my fondest memories of growing up.
Fast-forward decades later, and the whole "choosing a backpack" ritual is still very much close to mine and the kids' hearts. While I try to remind them that they're very fortunate to have so many options to pick from, I also enjoy the process to celebrate new school beginnings with them. Along with officially claiming freedom from the busy-ness of summer!
This is why I've curated a list of my favorite backpacks that take me back to being a kid and that your kids (and mine) will love:
My daughter is a huge fan of Wonder Woman, and so am I! This DC Comics Wonder Woman backpack is perfect to inspire the power girl in any school girl! It's $29.99.
This fun and colorful LEGO backpack will make your little master builder grin from ear to ear! I know mine will, and I personally love the practical knob-styled pockets and classic brick shopping. It's priced at $28!
With the
coming out in a couple of days, this
hits perfect timing! The water bottle pocket, padded straps and other extras make this a great choice for kids!
Who doesn't love cute monsters to take to school? This adorable backpack with monsters makes is fun to carry books to school. Oh and there's also the coordinated Monster pencil case, and Monster lunch box too…
Minecraft fans alert! This Minecraft backpack brings one of the most popular games to your kids' school routine, and they'll love it!
Got Pokémon? This cheery backpack just makes me smile! I love the roomy design, large front pocket and cute details.
If you're a Star Wars fan, you may hide out and occasionally borrow this backpack from your kids. The futuristic details are great, and it's roomy enough to accommodate all their school stuff too!
This dinosaur backpack is just great for any little paleontologist in the making (shoutout to my little nephew Khalifa)! It's a fun, roomy and just original pick for your future little scientist!
This Marvel Comics Super Hero Backpackis perfect for your little superhero, and includes a nice side space for their little water bottles too! I know mine is already hooked..
Why settle on one superhero when you can have the whole collection?
Unicorns have officially made their back-to-school debut! This fun unicorn backpack is for the unique, trailblazing girl who likes to dream big and…in color!
Which ones are your favorites? What do you look for in back-to-school backpacks?
The Corporate Sis
by Solange Lopes | Jun 20, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
In working mom (and dad) parenting lingo, summertime almost always rhymes with summer camps. Which camp to send your kid to? How to get your kid into a camp? And most importantly, which camp is right for your kids?
I remember being overwhelmed at the thought of researching camps, picking one that’s right for baby daughter, and actually trusting my own decision. The first time we sent baby daughter to camp was as close to a parenting disaster as you could imagine. In my (slightly) late working mom tradition, I signed her up late, didn’t exactly do all my due diligence before enrolling her, and started the whole first camp experience as a bone fide disaster. The result? We had to pull dear daughter out after a couple of weeks, and learn the hard way that the process of picking camps is not as unstructured as I had tackled it initially.
Since your mess is your message, I’ve since used my mistakes to learn a thing or two about picking the right camp for your kids:
Investigate, Investigate, Investigate!
Whether you choose to ask around, or do your online search, properly investigating is one of the first steps to picking the right summer camp for your kids. Inquiring from parents of children the same age as yours or with similar interests can help. When performing your search, make sure to check for the following three things:
- Accreditation: Are the camps you’re considering accredited? Make sure to check if the camp is accredited by the American Camp Association (ACA). This accreditation ensures the health and safety of your child through a benchmark of over 250 guidelines, rules and regulations.
- Camp activities: Does the camp provide activities that your child wants or needs? Are the activities offered varied or restricted to a narrow program? Which activities are mandatory?
- Camp logistics: What dates is the camp in session? Where is it located, and can you access it easily? What are the costs involved? Does it accommodate any special needs your child may have?
Make It A Visit!
Visiting a camp before enrolling your child(ren) is the best way to have a confirmation for all your doubts and questions. Most camps will accommodate a tour at a mutually convenient time. The earlier you can visit, the better.
Include Your Child in the Decision!
Last but not least, consider including your child(ren) in the decision. After all, they will be the ones spending most of their summer at the camp! Gently ask him/her what type of camp he/she would be most interested in. Give her/him the option of choosing between a couple of camp options as well. Not only will this give her/him some investment and responsibility in the camp he/she ends up going to, but it will also be enlightening (and interesting) to know what they think.
In summary, make sure to at least include the following tips in your camp search:
-
Investigate!
-
Make A Visit!
-
Include your child in the decision!
How did you go about picking a camp for your child?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 13, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
“It’s summer, and the kids are out of school!”, said no working mom ever. Let’s be real, as soon as school’s out, a host of issues present themselves. As in, which camp to pick for the kids? How to secure childcare if camps don’t pan out, or in between camp seasons? How to keep the kids entertained while we’re working? How to stretch the budget to accommodate vacations, staycations, and other summer treats?
While most of what we see on social media in the summer smells of tropical vacation getaways, perfect family moments and adorable family summer escapades, the reality is that for most working moms out there, summer spells packed schedules, busy families, tighter budgets, and some occasional headaches…
The reality is, it’s tough out there for working moms (and dads) in the summer. Unless you’re that super-organized working mom who’s got her family’s summer schedule downpacked, you may be like the rest of us, scrambling to find great camps, fun activities, and get everyone fed, bathed and happy all summer long.
From my own experience of “summer scrambling” as a working mom, and from taking advice from the amazing moms role models around me, here are 5 pieces of working mom summer wisdom:
-
Plan Ahead, a little bit at a time
Ok, I’ll never be that mom who plans her family’s entire summer months ahead of time, down to the smallest details. I made peace with that (something about that adrenaline rush). However, what I’ve learnt to do is to plan a little bit at a time. Which means selecting a camp for the kids , while still allowing some room for spontaneous weekend escapades or staycations. Not everything can be planned ahead of time, but planning the most important aspects of your family’s summer vacation a little at a time can go a long way.
-
Unpack your kids’ schedule.
Seriously, if the kids are going to sports camp, taking music classes, dance lessons, and having a private tutor while still keeping up with soccer practice and voice rehearsals, chances are their schedules are a tad too much packed. Many times, as working moms (and dads), we overdo the whole “keeping the kids busy” thing. While we mean well, we end up overloading their schedules and driving ourselves insane rushing from activity to activity. So lay it off a bit and cancel one, two or maybe even three activities…How about just letting these kids use their imagination, while you sit down somewhere for a minute and relax!
Related: How to entertain the kids in the summer when you work full-time
-
Flex your work schedule!
The pressure of keeping your work on point during the summer month, while still spending time with your family and entertaining the kids can sometimes be just too much! Asking for a flex schedule can help relieve some of that pressure, while allowing you to enjoy the summer more!
Related: How to ask for a flex schedule as a working mom in the summer
Summers are fun, but they’re also messy. Plans fall through, schedules get messed up, and organization sometimes turns into the messiest of chaos. I’ve learnt over time to just let it be. Juggling the stress of work and entertaining the kids during the summer months can be daunting if you don’t just let the mess slide…
-
The grass is not always greener at other working moms’!
It’s no secret that one of the biggest pitfalls that parents, and working moms in particular, fall into is comparison. We’re browsing social media,, desperately attempting to keep up with the Jones’ Punta Cana vacation. Or trying to enroll the kids in as many activities as our co-workers or neighbors. Before you know it, we’re engaged in an all-out competition with other working parents, and we’re exhausted! Resist the temptation to compare and compete. Instead, look at what works for your family and do just that!
Last but not least, just enjoy it! Spend time with your family, even if it’s just to sit together in the backyard or share a meal together. Let go fo the pressure to have the perfect summer vacation, and just take advantage of every moment!
What other tips do you have as a working mom to ace your summer vacation?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
