by Solange Lopes | Aug 7, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Happy Thursday!
Hard to believe that summer, with its vacation time, week-ends outdoors, and relaxed schedules, is almost over. And with the end of it, comes again the pressure of schedules, organization, tighter schedules, otherwise known as…back to school!
As busy corporate mamas, and as much as we may be reticent to admit it, the transition is mostly hard on us. Just as we start getting accustomed to easing up on the lunch packing, homework checking and general schedule policing of the school year, here it all comes back, all at once…And of course, work doesn’t slow down to allow us some time to catch our breath either.
1. Expect some chaos! Or a lot of it…Transitions are naturally chaotic, especially when they require you to get your act together before you’ve had your first cup of coffee! Before starting the planning process, take a deep breath and forgive yourself in advance for not making the school bus on time every day…
2. Start NOW! No need for endless planning, or painful delaying of the inevitable. Start tackling the back to school list now, order the kids’ uniforms During your lunch break, grab supplies as you go food-shopping…Just start!
3. Keep the focus on education! Some household habits should never change, regardless of the season or time period, especially when it comes to education. Continuously fostering strong reading habits, frequent visits to the library and museum, and educational extra curricular activities, helps both the kids and the adults keep a sense of continuity. Education is a priority!
How do you manage back to school stress and working? Please share some your tips.
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jul 23, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Your kids are ruining your career – onemagusa.com
I am a mom of two, and for the longest time, I heard the same old proverbial warnings: “Make sure you finish school before having kids”, or “You know once you have kids, it’s over!”. Or even better, “Work hard before kids because afterwards it’s all downhill from there!”. Basically, before I even conceived the very idea of conceiving a child, the message was clear: “Kids will ruin your career, and oh, maybe even your entire life.”
I was reading this article from Politico yesterday, in which Ruth Porat, CFO at prestigious Morgan Stanley and also dubbed as “the most powerful woman on Wall Street”, was featured. When you hear of women like Ruth Porat, you don’t exactly picture the traditional mommy thing. No pun intended here. I am not a traditional mommy, and frankly never aspired to be. Yet what struck me (and even made me go awww) as I read the article is that Ms. Porat keeps a note from her kids on her desk telling her how proud they are of her and the work she does. I know, awww!!! Clearly, her kids did not ruin her career…
Yet so many of us women at work seem to think that we have to choose between a great family and a great career. It’s not even like we could strike in the middle, and have an average family and an unbelievable career. Or an average career and a great family life. It’s an all-or-nothing game, hence the disheartening number of women in high management positions, and the sprint-race speed at which women exit corporate ranks to stay home as they start having kids. Again, makes it really look like as much as we love them, kids really ruin your career.
So how come the Ruth Porat of this world could achieve the supernatural feat of having kids AND kicking a… in the career department? Luck, favor, spiritual incantations? In her interview with Politico, Ms. Porat seems to think a healthy mix of career and family is the answer, rather than delaying one in favor of the other.
I would add that reminding yourself as you tuck the kids in bed tonight, that as mighty as they may seem, they can’t possibly ruin your career (or the one you think you had, deep inside that career-oriented head of yours). Actually, they may just be the the best people you’ll ever have to negotiate basic cleanliness contracts with…
Just sayin’….
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 28, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Teaching your kids about work – docs911.blogspot.com
Happy happy Saturday! Yes, it’s the start of the week-end, even for some of us who still have to make it to the office, even for a couple of hours today…The weather’s beautiful, you can take the kids out, spend more time with them than during the week, and maybe teach them one thing or two… Or three…
As corporate sisters, we most often deal with the guilt of not spending enough time with our children, versus committed to our careers. So when we get to spend quality time with them, we definitely want to make it count! Yet, with all the guilt we carry day in and day out, how thin we stretch ourselves, not to mention the weight of all the modern responsibilities that somehow have become ours, what are we really teaching our kids about work?
This week, Matt Lauer got under fire for his “sexist” question to General Motors CEO Mary Barra about being a mom and CEO at the same time. I was actually less struck by the question he asked than how he mentioned she had revealed in an interview that her kids told her they’re going to hold her accountable for one job, that of being a mom. Her kids’ answer prompted me to ask myself: “What message are we conveying to our kids about work and success in the workplace?” Do our kids realize the sacrifices and tough choices we have to make, and still hold us accountable for being better parents than professionals? And if so, are we meeting their expectations?
Teaching our kids about the importance of success and a solid work ethic is one thing. Teaching them about the precarious balance between effective parenting and fulfillment in our careers is an entirely different one. The challenge is in consolidating both experiences, while still being able to draw a healthy demarcation line between the two.
When we strive at work, meet our professional goals, and are recognized for our achievements as corporate sisters, are we teaching our children, especially our daughters, that it is what matters most? Or when we willingly sacrifice career success for the well-being our families, are we conveying the message that career success is vain and unfulfilling? And when we manage to balance both, is our difficult balancing act testifying more to our strengths or our weaknesses as parents?
Whether we commit to striving for career success or not, one of the most important questions may really be, at the end of the day, what are we teaching our children about what work means to us as women, corporate sisters, and most importantly, mothers? What legacy are we leaving behind, and are we at peace with it?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | May 19, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
aubreydaniels.com
Happy Monday!
As unusual as this may sound, there are Monday mornings when some of us are just like “Thank God it’s Monday!” Whereas most may begrudgingly drag our feet to work on Monday mornings, some of us may actually look forward to plopping ourselves on our straight-backed chairs, grabbing a hot cup of coffee and breakfast from the cafeteria and actually being able to think for a minute or so with limited interruptions.
Yes, some of us corporate sisters ( and I’m pretty sure corporate bros as well), do entertain these oh so professionally morbid thoughts of returning to work at the end of frazzled, kids’ activities-filled, chore-laden week-ends. But some of us actually look forward to the work week…
I personally confess that after hours of shuttling my toddler and pre-schooler to birthday parties, rushing home to throw a few loads of laundry in the washer, “un-sticking” gum from the living room’s floors, all the while struggling to carve out one hour to make it to the gym looking like I just escaped from a mental asylum, I was ready for work this morning. Ready for my uncomfortable straight-backed, crumble-filled, chair, my cup of freshly brewed “Dark Magic” coffee, and this amazing, miraculous thing called Silence at the beginning of my day…
Weird? Yeah. Selfish? Hell yeah. But it feels so good…
Thank God it’s Monday!
Don’t judge me, you over there, with your scrambled eggs and bacon breakfast…
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 5, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Career choices – atlantablackstar.com
Being a corporate sister is not easy, far from it…And being a corporate mama, as I like to call it, complicates matters even further. I remember being a young associate at one of the Big 4 Accounting firms, working until all hours of the night or day during busy season, going out for drinks with the team on Thursdays after work, and still showing up all perky on Friday mornings after only a few hours of sleep. Those were the days when you went hard or went home…The days when building your career was not just a matter of being excellent on the job, but also having the time, stamina and availability to be an all-around team player. For most of us in “Public” as we used to (and still) call it, that meant working week-ends, hanging out with the team, and basically not having much of a life outside of work…
Fast-forward a few years, and for those who did find a different life along the way, for all those who dropped out of the “Public’s” ranks, or just those who wanted a life outside of work, some of the career choices we made were many a time motivated by our families or significant others. There, you fell in love and wanted to spend more time with your partner on week-ends. Or you started having children and could not stand to be on the road while your children were taking their first steps or uttering their very first words. So you jumped ship, tried and found other more satisfying or “balanced” work alternatives. Or you chose to stay and forgo the experiences that others were embarking on, like motherhood, or marriage. And as you sit back and reflect on your professional progress, you cannot help but wonder if after all, your career choices were primarily motivated by your family (or lack thereof).
My dear friend N. asked me the other day: “If your life had been different, if you didn’t have to take into account all the family responsibilities and duties, do you think you’d have made different choices in your career? Do you think you’d have been further along or on a totally different path?”
After pausing for a few seconds, I had this truly inspiring, breakthrough response for her: “I don’t know!” And while I can certainly speculate on all the what-if’s, and would’ve or should’ve, the truth is I don’t know…None of us really knows what decisions or choices we would have made in different circumstances, of how far (or not far) along we’d be had our journey been different…All we know is the NOW, and all we can do is trying to better it…
In hindsight, I’m glad my family motivated some of my career choices. I’m glad that they helped me distinguish between what truly matters, like being there when your kid first pees in the toilet, and what matters less. Sure, there is also the reverse side of the coin, that many feel that life’s hardships and family duties possibly made them miss out on some opportunities…
Yet like my dear friend N. says, “No matter what, we are where we are supposed to be.”
Has your family motivated your career choices?
by Dorcia Carrillo | Nov 22, 2013 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Chances are you are hosting Thanksgiving this year again, what with your usual workload, last week’s laundry still on stand-by, house-cleaning still pending, and your to-do list untouched as of yet…And you have not yet checked in with everyone to see what they are bringing, you still have to call your mom for her famous turkey recipe, and your hairdresser is booked until next Friday…What?!?
Or the entire family is gathering this year at your cousin’s this year, in which case you can breathe a sigh of relief. Except you still have to figure out what you’re bringing, what the kids are wearing, and how in the world you’ll fit in anything before or after the meal…And we’re not even talking about starting Christmas shopping, or how we’re going to even get anywhere close to a store on Black Friday…
As busy corporate sisters, we all know the holidays are also a hurried, even busier time of the year, and the single way to counter-balance all this madness is to have a plan…A sister with a plan is a sister on her way (the way up, not the other way)…
Write it down
Nothing like a visual aid to make it all real. So whether you’re doing the touch-tone thing on your smartphone, or like myself, you’re just digging out the old notebook and pencil, you’ve gotta write it all down…To-do’s, to-be-done, should-have-been-done, do-it-now’s, put it all on paper, look at it again…and reach for the nearest glass of wine! It ain’t real ’til it’s on paper, girl!
Use your lunch hour!
Yes, you heard right…this small alloted window of peace in the middle of your day is officially no more! Unless you are THE uber-organized corporate sister (or you just don’t believe in sleeping), take advantage of your lunch hour to make a few phone calls, check out some (quick and easy) recipes…and please, find a hairdresser before Wednesday…
Learn the art of delegating
The best leaders are great at delegating; and since you are honing your corporate skills, why not use your life as training ground…so get to delegating some of the shopping trips, and part of the prep work, and the key lime pie while you’re at it (it never came out quite right anyways) so you can have some time to figure out where you can get a last-minute turkey for the big day…
And yes, you can skimp on some details
Like baking the cakes from scratch, or even entertaining the thought of elaborate recipes..Browse the pre-made, pre-done, already-frozen aisles at the supermarket (the online supermarket counts too), and save yourself some pain and aggravation…And oh, invest in some slightly worn out baking pans and serving dishes, and don’t forget the key-lime pie scented candles too, the more homemade-looking, the better…
So there, as a corporate sister with a life and a plan, there is much to do as it is to make the holidays an even busier time…Plan, get help, and don’t forget to pour Aunt Martha more wine before she asks you if that pecan pie was store-bought or homemade…Really, Aunt Martha?
How are you counting down to Thanksgiving?
The Corporate Sister.
Happy Thursday!
