by Solange Lopes | Oct 13, 2016 | Career, Working Mom & Woman Tips
Work, work, work! Sometimes all there seems to be for working women is a whole lot of work. Work at work, work at home, work in our relationships, work in our businesses! And while a lot of credit should go to all these working women warriors who get so much done in so little time, there’s something to say about working smarter instead of working harder. That’s where technology, and more specifically, apps come in. Because you know, if it exists, there’s got to be an app for it…
I have to say, as moderately technology-savvy (which is an improvement in my book) as I am, I love my apps. Especially when they can help make work, life and everything around, easier to manage, track and enjoy too…
And since I’m always on the lookout for new apps to take something or another off my plate, here are 7 of my latest favorite, mom-approved, working-woman-vouched, apps to add the “easy” factor to work, life and everything in between:
This one app is a staple in my list of absolute must-have apps. If you like lists, and remembering things, and storing articles, this app will be your go-to. This is where you can save quick notes, images, audios, and sync them across all your devices at once. You can also make use of references, and its strong search feature, which allows you to retrieve information you need in record time! It’s perfect if you run a business on the side or full-time, or if you just like to keep your information in one safe place right at your fingertips.
ShopSavvy
You know the feeling of buying an item full price from store A, and seeing it in store B at…half the price (after the return period at Store A of course). Well, this app will save you some of that price comparison struggle, by allowing you to track sales at your favorite stores. Its uniques barcode feature will also let you scan whatever item you want to buy, and find out if you can snag it somewhere else at a bargain! And voila….
So you and BFF went for tapas, and now she kinda owes you 30 bucks, but asking for it would be kinda awkward…Well, now you can split the check, and avoid all the confusion (especially if the tapas were accompanied by some pretty colorful margaritas) with this app.
I have to say, after becoming a mama, my good ol’ times of grabbing a book and lounging on the couch are far and few in between. If you don’t have as much time to browse through your literature favorites, but still want to enjoy a book or two on the go, Audible is for you! You can listen while driving, running errands or cleaning the house (now who says you can’t do chores and get smarter at the same time?)….
Listen, you gotta keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind! That’s where Mint comes in, for busy working women who still want to keep track of their money! You can use it to organize your finances, pull your bank accounts, credit card bills, expenses and investments, all onto one easy to navigate platform.
This female-focused app offers more than 100 workouts designed by Nike master trainers themselves. And if like me, you’re ready to use any excuse not to work out, this app is for you! All you need is your smartphone, sneakers and a picture of that dress you’ve been saving since last year….
I’m not a big fan of unclean public bathrooms (who is?), and unfortunately, after babies, your bladder isn’t as tolerant as it used to be. Hence the need to find suitable bathrooms in unfamiliar areas! Which is exactly where this funny, but oh so useful app, comes in! SitorSquat not only shows you bathrooms in the area, but also rates them by order of ahem…cleanliness!
What other apps have made your life easier?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 12, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
It’s 7:30pm, and I’m half-lying on my daughter’s’ desk, as the hubby’s tirelessly explaining to her the concept of breaking 38 into various sets of tens and single digits. Didn’t get it? No worries, it took me a while too…If you’re a working parent (and yes, from the cubicle to the kitchen, we all are), you may be shaking your head as you read this…
Let’s be real…As much as we’re invested in our kids’ schooling, there’s that moment between the time you get home and realize dinner’s not ready (or existing for that matter), and when you’re faced with your kids’ mountain of homework. And it’s not like you remember fourth grade arithmetics, or can keep from yawning long enough to even read the topic at hand…And you know you’d rather get a root canal than admit that you have no clue what the heck their homework’s about….
I would know…As the Zero Patience Queen, some of my biggest parenting lessons have jumped at me, held me by the neck and slapped me around right around homework time. From admitting that I don’t know everything (yes, I have), to refraining from begging my baby to please understand additions before I have to pull my ‘fro off, the (homework) struggle is real. Thank God for the hubby and the power of prayer, or my edges would be resting peacefully in the Working Mom Hair’s cemetery…
There’s been quite a bit of a debate over whether parents should help kids with homework, and I do agree that parents shouldn’t do the work for their kids, or preventing them from achieving their learning milestones on their own. However, I still believe being available as a support and resource (without doing the work for them) counts mentally, emotionally and spiritually for both parents and children.
After countless evenings spent trying to remember old math concepts, and practicing silent inner meditation, here are some of the most precious lessons I’ve learnt from long homework sessions right after long days at work, applied arithmetics, and lots of love in between:
It’s Bonding Time.
If you’re a working mom (or dad) who’s ever felt those pangs of guilt when leaving your child at daycare or school to head to work, then homework time may be a great opportunity to bond while supporting your child.
I learnt at my own expense that, when it comes to homework time, it’s not just another task to cross off the family’s to-do list. It’s a good opportunity to check in on your child’s progress while still giving them enough space to do their own work (and enjoy their accomplishments). It can be as simple as being available to answer questions, or point your child to the right resources or thinking process.
Make it a collaborative process.
I remember the transition from having my babies “graduate” from daycare to preschool, and then to “real school, with actual homework, lunch bags to unpack, and a whole set of other logistical expectations to meet. And I remember the first days of coming home from work after 8+ hours at work, and answering my baby’s homework questions as I tried to hurry and empty my bladder in our now public home bathroom (yes, it gets that deep)….
Truth is, when it comes to adjusting and developing good school habits, including homework completion, it’s a learning process for both parents and children. Of course, we make it look like we’ve got it all handled, but I’d bet you even Olivia Pope would have some adjusting to do here…
After both Dear Daughter and I suffered from not being adjusted well enough to our daily routines, it took some discipline and both of us setting up a “homework ritual” to get us through the initial hurdles. Together, we’ve implemented our “3-Step system”, whereby she completes and reviews her homework (that’s Step 1), gets to ask any questions she has to help her through it (Step 2), before I or dear hubby take a look and point her to anything she may have to correct (Step 3).
Patience is a muscle.
Last but not least, the most important lesson the whole “homework” process has taught me over time is that patience, especially when it comes to parenting, is a muscle. Which also means you must exercise it, develop it, or watch it shrink in frustration as you desperately try to remember some random Pythagorean muscle…
And I’m so happy to report that our homework sessions have gone from tense and chocolate-filled, to fun and empowering times for both of us, Pythagorean concepts and all…
How do you handle the kids’ homework as a working parent?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 6, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
When I was approached by the fabulous Adore Me brand to write a post on my very own version of a Netflix and Chill night at home, I was excited to share my homebody , comfort-addict experience. So here’s my very own take on “turning in” when “turning up” isn’t exactly in the cards, or the stilettos, for the night…
Let’s be honest…How many times have you turned down an invite to hang out with the girls, or go for drinks after-hours, to rush home, slip into your favorite lounge wear, pour yourself a cup of tea glass of wine (or vodka), and turn on your favorite show or movie?
Seriously, you know you did…Well, I know I did still do every now and then more often than I’d like to admit…At the risk of sounding totally boring, there are just times when “turning in” beats “turning up” any day. Like when you can’t find a babysitter for the kids (all your little nieces and cousins have now turned 21 and will purposely not pick up your phone calls), your hair’s just not up to par (major component of a successful night out), or you just don’t feel like glamming up and hitting the town (the perennial“I have nothing to wear” dilemma)…
After many an attempt at avoiding the inevitable (aka trying hard to keep up only to finally crash in bed, painful heels, false lashes on and everything), I fabricated my own version of “turning up”.
Except the whole thing happens on my couch, minus-the-bunion-inducing-high-heels and other hazards of hitting the town. With the benefit of getting that warm corner of the couch with all the bread crumbs and other unidentified objects to the left, and not screaming inside when the kids wake you up at 6am sharp the next morning…
For me, it usually happens on Thursday nights ( Thursdays ARE the new Fridays, people) , when I’m ready to wind down and start my pre-week-end celebration in Shondaland, including my absolute favorite shows Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder. I tried picking just one, but they’re like shoes, you have to get them all at once (blame Shonda)…
My perfect Netflix and Chill night is usually with the hubby, in some stylish, yet ultra-comfy loungewear I can relax in (and still feel like I haven’t given up on style for the rest of my life). Like this cozy Colby Set from Adore Me, or this Lauren Black Pajama Set that have “cozy chic” written all over them.
All the while snacking on some (unlimited) white cheddar kettle popcorn, wrapped in my deliciously warm African Fulani blanket (similar to this one on Etsy) that I may or may not share with the hubby (some things are un-shareable, even in marriage)…
While it usually ends up with me falling asleep and frantically searching for my glasses in between the pillows three hours later, I get to spend quality time with me, myself and I, oh and the hubby too…
That is, until my reformed party animal’s toes are strong enough for another night out in the town, high stilettos, false lashes and hair on fleek and all…
Now your turn? What’s your version of a perfect Netflix and Chill night at home?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 1, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Photo credit: thecubiclechick.com
As a working parent, it’s tough to keep track of your life and career’s accomplishments, losses, and goals over time. You may be thinking of ways to improve your personal and professional life, but getting down to these and keeping track of it all can be quite the challenge. That’s why I was so excited when I came across the 2016 Working Parent Workbook by career and lifestyle expert, and my personal blogging and business inspiration, The Cubicle Chick aka Danyelle Little.
This thorough and to the point workbook is like your own personal accountability partner. Except you can carry it around with you everywhere you go and keep track of where you’re at in your life and career, even on the go. Think of it as your own personal reminder that you’re making progress on your path…
I love the simplicity of this straightforward workbook. It has just the right amount of content, and is just the right size to help you pinpoint your critical success points and roadblocks, without making you feel overwhelmed and frankly, over it all. Through simple yet extremely pertinent instructions and guidelines, it pushes you to think about what you’ve achieved so far, what you’ve failed to accomplish and where you’re headed.
I particularly love the fact that it includes a specific section about self-care, as many a working parent, especially working moms, neglect this way too often. As a working mom and entrepreneur, I really feel it’s a great tool to strategically reach my goals, without the extra fluff and overwhelm. I mean, I had to really be honest when facing my own roadblocks as well as acknowledging my strengths and weaknesses while going through the workbook, which made me see my career and business much more clearly.
All in all, I absolutely love the Fall 2016 Working Parent Workbook and recommend it to all working parents. Better yet, get an extra copy for your crazy busy sister or brother friend this Fall.
The only suggestion I’d have is another version of this workbook for managing the kids’ schedule (wink wink Danyelle :)).
PS: You can order your copy HERE!
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 1, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
It’s Saturday morning, the official start of the weekend, I’m standing in the middle of my kitchen after breakfast, and there’s mess everywhere I look…Sink filled with dishes, check! Laundry basket making faces at me with the overflowing bed sheets from last week, check! Kids turned the TV Room into a toy zone, check! And all I want to do is curl up on the couch with a good book and watch something I actually don’t have to use my neurons for…
via GIPHY
If you’re smiling as you’re reading this, you may have recognized a common feeling among working moms (sorry when it comes to chores, working moms win the war) everywhere, aka the Dread of the Weekend Shift. You know it, it’s that tightness in your chest as you think about just how much you have to do to catch up on your chores at home. And the mounting frustration as you realize it’s actually the week-end, and you’re supposed not to work…And if you add to that Junior’s soccer game, Dear Daughter’s piano recital, and “getting your hair did”, it’s a wrap…You might as well lay right there on the floor and pray for some miracle, or Haagen Dazs sea salt caramel ice cream…
There’s just that point when you hit the weekend shift wall, and you can no longer accept to work at work, work at home, and work everywhere in between. It’s time to reclaim your weekends, and achieve some sense of balance in between all the to-do’s will-never-be-done, and why-is-laundy-never-ending’s…
After much resistance and not enough ice cream to drown my weekend shift sorrows, here are some drastic changes I had to make to regain whatever shred of sanity I had left, and be able to read a page or two, or sit down somewhere for a minute or two. And I mean, if you’re into coming from work on Fridays and spending the rest of the weekend cleaning up, tidying up and cooking up, by all means, I’m your biggest fan. But for the rest of us who can actually honestly admit we hate laundry and would like to take a nap once every couple of years, there may be a few adjustments we can make to replace the weekend shift with actual weekend fun.
Spend less on stuff, and more on help.
For me, it means staying away from any shoe store, shoe expo, shoe displays, shoe anything...
via GIPHY
And actually reading the pile of unread books I have at home, prior to destroying my bank account on Amazon just because I signed up for Amazon Prime and shipping is free… In other words, I had to put myself on a tight budget so I could replace all my spur-of-the-moment, ooh-that-looks-nice-and-I-might-need-it-some-day impulse purchases with actual help.
So I saved the money and hired someone to help me with cleaning the house and doing chores. I have to say it was a BIG mindset change for me, for two reasons. One, I thought I didn’t need to pay someone for something I could do myself. Two, I could do it myself and save the money to go buy stuff I didn’t really need. Typical case of the chicken and egg…
Which brings me to my next point.
Learn to value your time.
I mean, really value it, not just in terms of what you can and cannot do. But in terms of what it costs for someone like you to do thing A instead of doing thing B. Let me explain…
If you’re making $75,000 a year net, and you take that $75K a year, and actually divide it into 52 weeks of work, you get $1,442 and change a week. Then you go a step further, and divide this by 40 hours of work, and get about $36 and change a week. So literally, that’s how much an hour of your work is worth, if you were to pay yourself…And I’m not including how much it cost for you to get that college education (hello student loans)…
via GIPHY
Now I ain’t trying to take us back to basic maths (don’t nobody wanna go back that far or deep or wide for that matter), but think about it. If you were to pay yourself $36 an hour to clean your house, how much more beneficial to you would it be to pay someone $10 or $15 an hour to do the same? Actually, they might do it better and faster, just for the sheer reason they wouldn’t be checking their Instagram every other minute and texting with the girls every so often…Just sayin’…
If you look at your time with the perspective of how much value it has, then you’re able to gain a new perspective. Not to mention forgive yourself for not doing it all…
Leverage the time and money you save.
If you had 5 hours to spend whichever way you’d like, what is the best thing you’d do for yourself? Is it read a book, enroll in a new class, go to the spa, or spend time with the people you love? Whatever your answer to this question, it brings us back to how we can best leverage our time and money. Especially our time, which as age (what’s that?) creeps up and you start realizing there’s not as much time left as before, becomes our most precious commodity…
Think of the time and money you could save by enlisting some help, even if you have to pay for it. And think about what you could actually produce with this time, in terms of precious memories, new ventures, exciting opportunities, etc…
You could write that great novel, take the kids to visit family you haven’t seen in a while, or just take a bath alone for like, a half hour, by yourself…You could build that business you’ve been talking about, or find time to meditate, or entertain that hobby that relaxes you so much you don’t feel the need to yell at the hubby so often (I know none of you do that)…Or you could just cry “Freedom”!
via GIPHY
In Conclusion
It took some time to adjust my mindset from a production-based frame to a value-based one. And to understand that what’s important to me may not be as important to someone else, but that at the end of the day, it’s my responsibility to live my life to the fullest, and enjoy every bit of time I have while I’m still breathing (and avoiding wrinkles and ashy elbows in the process)…
On this note, dear Weekend Shift, you are officially fired. Dear Weekend, welcome back into my life!
Have you reclaimed your weekends yet?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 18, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
I was finally able to shed my working mom, “go-to-bed at 9pm sharp” second skin to watch the Emmys this year. And boy was it worth it… In-between laughing at Jimmy Kimmel’s Trump jokes and distribution of peanut-better-and-jelly-sandwiches, and gasping for air at how very pregnant Kerry Washington got that non-pregnancy dress “handled” on the red carpet, I didn’t need the hubby’s usual elbow kicks to stay up…
At least long enough to have my very own “working-mom- staying-way-past-her-bedtime’s” very own Emmys highlights:
But really, before I even start rambling, how can Jimmy Kimmel keep a straight face?
Like, really, how? How do you walk around an entire room of celebrities, passing out juice boxes and PB&J sandwiches, and openly blame one of “The Apprentice” creators, Mark Burnett, for putting Trump on the TV map, without at least blushing? Beyond me…
Could Kerry Washington have handled it any better?
I mean, all of it, including the impeccable hair, the flawless complexion, and that impeccable belly perfectly fitted into that non-pregnancy dress I couldn’t even wear not being pregnant (minus the last annoying resilient five pounds from each pregnancy). Although I’m mourning the temporary absence of Scandal this season, that dress and adorable non-preggers look has me forgetting and forgiving…
Regina King won. And I just want to be her when I grow up…
Watching Regina King go up the stairs to the Emmys stage in that vision of a red gown, plus the happily stunned look on her face, priceless. She won best supporting actress in a limited series or movie for “American Crime“. So very proud to see a Black woman win, twice in a row, and spread some hopeful glitter for women everywhere…
Julia Louis-Dreyfus made me laugh and smile all at once…
Despite losing her dad two days before, Julia Louis-Dreyfus still managed to accept her seventh Emmy award (this one for outstanding lead actress in a comedy series) while making us laugh. As she apologized for the current political climate, she confirmed that the political satire show Veep (for which she received this Emmy) is actually more of a “sobering documentary” than the current politics we’re witnessing…
C0urtney B. Vance’s Emmys Love Letter raised a whole new bar for hubbies everywhere.
Unless you’re going to call me the “woman who rocks your chain” at the next Emmys, you’re in for a whole lot of shoes and purses…Just sayin’…So Courtney B. Vance, husbands everywhere are officially in serious trouble because of you…
Viola Davis and Julius Tennon take pink to a whole ‘nother level…
Victoria’s Secret PINK models ain’t got nothing on one of my fave actresses (and the first African-American actress to win the Emmy’s Best Lead Actress) and fellow Rhode Islander, Viola Davis and her hubby Julius Tennon. That pink bow-tie on Julius perfectly complemented Viola’s stunning dress. It takes a strong man to rock a pink bow-tie, and if Viola Davis were at your arm, wouldn’t you? But it’s all good, we’re all getting ready for How to Get Away with Murder next week anyhow…
Protect Leslie Jones, people!
Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones had me half-laughing, half-nodding, as she joked about her Twitter account hack. She went on stage with the accountants, and urged them to drop the protection of Emmy secrets, in favor of her own Twitter account which got hacked earlier this year. In between laughs, we’re reminded that Leslie Jones is not just a talented and hilarious actress, but also a beautiful sister…
And last but not least, where is Maggie Smith?
If anyone sees Downton Abbey‘s Maggie Smith, please tell her to retrieve her Emmy in the Emmys’ Lost & Found. In his opening monologue, Jimmy Kimmel threatened the perennial winner with taking back all her awards if she doesn’t personally show up to get them. So no surprise there when he came in person to grab her Emmy this year and send her a specific message to report to the Emmys’ Lost & Found…
It’s been real, but this working mom’s got to limit this late-night damage. Neither my kids nor my day job will be very forgiving in the morning…I hope by next year Emmys, there will be coffee strong enough to keep me going…
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 1, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Today my youngest (and probably last baby, did I say probably?) starts school. And even as the hardcore independent career woman and feminist I consider myself to be, it feels weird, to say the least.
As I dropped him off to his last day at daycare yesterday, my heart sank a little. I sat outside in my car for a minute, unable to turn the wheel and back up to drive towards work. I could relive the very day I dropped each one of my babies to daycare for the first time, to start on their journey towards independence. And to continue mine towards making peace with semi-constant worry and mommy guilt, even in the midst of so much joy and anticipation…
You think you’ve made peace with a lot of emotions as your kids grow, and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of new beginnings all over again. As they pack their first backpack, say good-bye to go to class, get their first report card…
Even though there’s still quite some ways for women to go in today’s world, we’re able to make so many choices in our lives. Choices to go after our own careers and dreams, pick our partners, live more of the lives we choose…Yet as you become a parent, most of these choices start being influenced in some way or another by the huge joy and responsibility to raise children.
In her masterpiece “The Awakened Family“, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Shefali Tsabary tells us that “many of us are unable to [raise children who are highly resilient and emotionally connected] because we are blinded by modern misconceptions of parenting and our own inner limitations”. The part of Dr. Tsabary’s message that struck me the most as I was watching her on Oprah’s Soul Sunday is that we must develop ourselves in order to help develop our children into the people they’re meant to be. Which also means that not only is it ok for us to go after our dreams and reach our higher selves, it also tremendously serves our children.
So we can turn all that mommy guilt as we drop off the kids to daycare or school, miss some milestones because we’re at work, or miss work because we’re taking in our childrens’ milestones, into the fire that propels us further and further in our lives and careers:
Their milestones are proof we’re growing too!
Now that I’m done crying behind my glasses after dropping off the little one to Pre-K, I can take a minute to stop and consider how much I’ve also grown as a parent and a woman. What we don’t often realize as parents is that many a times, our children help us grow more than we actually help them!
After raving about how my babies are growing too fast, it occurred to me that each one of their milestones has helped me develop as a person. That just having them inspires us to stretch and reach more of our potential. That every time they take a step, start school, get a great grade, or get bruised somehow by life, we learn something new by teaching them things we never even knew we knew.
Make the kids part of your growth!
For most of us, having kids changes our lives. For some, it can send our careers down the abyss, as this 2015 Women in the Workplace study reveals that “motherhood triggers assumptions that women are less competent and less committed to their careers”.
For others, it can mean renewed focus, energy and success. A research commissioned by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis has demonstrated that parents tend to be more productive. More parents develop skills and traits that make them better employees, while it’s noted that some parents are more ambitious after kids.
I’ve found that making the kids part of our growth as individuals, is a huge motivator to turn all the mommy guilt we may experience into more fuel for our fire. Over time, I’ve learnt to talk more to my babies about work, responsibility and learning as I experience it. To share with them more of my experiences, and let go of the guilt of not always being there in favor of the energy of shared growth…
It’s OK to let go!
This one is a “toughie”! Letting go is hard (I’m a Cancerian after all, we cling hard!). And letting go of the little human beings we’ve helped bring into this world, changed poopy diapers, and dropped off for their first day at school, is on a whole other “hard scale”…
I’ve clung to my own brand of career mommy guilt for as long as I could, until realizing it’s letting go that ultimately allows us to be more present. That it’s ok to show our kids that chasing your dreams is a part of life. That to be fully present, we must be filled with as much of our own fire as we can muster…
So here’s to my last baby going to school, to dropping (some of) that heavy mommy guilt, and instead turning it into more of that internal fire that makes us go over and beyond…
How are your turning your Mommy guilt into Mommy Fire?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
