by Solange Lopes | Mar 5, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
So I went on a road trip with the kids during their last February vacation. Yes, me…the adventure/risk-adverse, long-distance-driving-adverse, patience-impaired, non-sneaker/practical-shoes-wearing, coffee-fueled mom took on the mission to drive my kids two states away to visit the BFF. Because I had dared myself, all atop my six-inch heels, to kick the fear and try something new…You know, those things you say after reading positive quotes in chain on Instagram and vowing to change your life…before you actually realize what kind of hot mess you’ve just volunteered for…
And when said hot mess involves two kids with (stubborn) minds of their own, the open highway, and unpredictable bladders, you know it’s a wrap…So for all the moms like myself who are not experts at packing ahead of time, not forgetting the toothbrushes, or taking enough underwear, here’s my own, no-shame-in-my-game version of the non-adventurous mom’s guide to survive road trips with kids. Because: no mom is perfect, that’s why they invented coffee and waterproof concealer…
Behold the packing list!
Who else is a pro at packing everything but the toothpaste and everyone’s underwear? Stop frontin’, you know you did…Let’s keep it real, unless you’ve got your life together (which who does really?), or you’re from my mother’s direct (and chronically late) lineage, you may be packing about an hour before leaving…
So to ward off the crazy prospects of looking for strawberry-flavored toothpaste somewhere between interstate highways, make a packing list. So no matter when you actually get around to packing throwing clothing and useful general hygiene objects into traveling bags, you don’t have to discriminate against your brain for premature ageism…
Just grab some fun list pads like these, write it all down, stick it on the fridge where you can find it, and give that mommy brain of yours a well-deserved break…Just sayin’…
Respect your bladders!
When you have to stop in the middle of the Connecticut suburbs and hide your kids squatting behind the car because they’re about to pee themselves, you start respecting the Queen Bladder. There are many things in nature you can remedy, but if you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go…
So don’t do like I did and try skipping in service areas so “we can get there faster”, only to have a general family peeing session by the roadside, with cars driving by…Instead, have a pee stop before leaving the house, and pretty much every time you see a rest area. Oh, and don’t trust those little humans to tell you they have to go ahead of time. The only signal you’ll get is something resembling a loud cry before the peeing waterfalls open for service…You get the drift…
And if you’re in the middle of potty training, drop everything and get yourself some Luvs. I’m telling you, it ain’t worth it…
Got Cleaning Supplies?
Speaking of bodily fluids and other food messes, unless you want to drive in a giant mobile trash, please pack along some cleaning supplies. After my initial road trip disasters, I always like to take some easy plastic bags (these scented ones are my faves), and some baby wipes like these generic Parent’s Choice ones. And because there are serious chances you will drop your coffee on top of the ill-packed snacks, some disinfecting wipes like these Clorox ones might help…
Snack smart!
Road trip snacking 101: if you want to stop at every service area for a general peeing session, pack loads of juices! And if you’ve not experienced the whole road trip pee situation yet, go back a few paragraphs up…
Prepare a cooler where you can toss a few types of food. Fruit, cheese sticks, bolachas (Cape-Verdean cookies), sandwiches, etc…Warning: anything with a sucky top, including yogurt tube, WILL explode all over your kid and the car, all over, every time…
Technology’s a savior!
I know what’s said about not allowing kids to have too much access to technology. Yet when it comes to road trips with kids, the right tech can save everyone’s sanity. So invest in quality kids’ earphones, like these Puro Headphones, awarded one of the best headphones for kids.
Oh, and don’t forget the tablets/DVD/iPad chargers. Not that I’d ever do that…
Make it a (fun) teaching experience!
No matter how many snacks you bring, or how many times the kids are allowed to watch “Frozen” on repeat, nothing beats enjoying the experience live! Get the kids to actually enjoy what’s going on outside their windows, by teaching them the various states you drive through and having fun quizzes around it…
Or have a sing-along competition, until they fall asleep from the dreadful voices…
Have a tantrum plan!
Tantrums/mood swings will happen, period! So you need a plan. And no, it doesn’t include turning up the music any louder, or threats to never ever give them chocolate ever again…
Whatever works best for you to calm the tension, whether it’s to recite mantras and call forth your inner peace, or use AM static (I’ve heard it’s quite effective), come up with your tantrum plan.
BONUS: CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW FOR YOUR “NON-ADVENTUROUS MOM’S GUIDE TO ROAD TRIPS WITH KIDS”
Now to you…what are your best tips to survive road trips with kids?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 12, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
As I watched Beyonce glowing in all her expectant glory on the stage of the Grammys, I literally had a moment. As in all the goddesses of times past, present and future (plus those you occasionally call on to when you’ve had one too many coffees and still can’t tackle your to-do list) came down together on that Grammys stage all at once…I mean, there aren’t enough hashtags to picture the glorious career moment Queen Bey laid down for all of us to see (ahem…including the now silent and unidentified souls who claimed she used surrogates to have her babies, just sayin’…)
As a career gal, I was particularly mesmerized to watch an accomplished woman show up in her career, not in spite of being an expectant mother, but precisely because of it. How many moms-to-be, and moms in general, can proudly show off their belly on the job with as much pride as Bey did, and actually get a huge career boost for it? Granted, most of us don’t exactly grind the way the Queen Bey does, but still…
Most of us wait to find the right time to announce our pregnancies at work, and despite our genuine happiness at the prospect of carrying Life, silently make peace with the fact that our bulging bellies also mean we may not advance as far in our careers as we’d like during this time. And unlike Bey, many of us may not be particularly keen on displaying our growing baby bumps in the Board room for fear it may make us look slightly inadequate, or even worse, hormonal…
But it took just ONE performance by Beyonce to show that not only is it OK to rock your baby bump while on a major work event, it’s also just become highly advisable. Because: carrying double the bundle of joy while rendering a MAJOR performance, all the while lighting up the whole stage/world/universe, is something only women can do! And so is carrying through entire pregnancies while holding down a job, raising another one (or many) little humans, being a wife, and not giving up on dinner/laundry/contouring…
So next time the world tries to convince you that carrying babies may make you less competent/productive/extraordinary, just think about that time Beyonce lit a whole Grammys stage with her double baby bump, and got an award for Lemonade to boot…
And go on and proudly show how you can actually get that month-end presentation done, while positively slaying in that maternity suit and glowing from all that mommy-to-be-unstoppable-creature vibe…
via GIPHY
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 10, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
So you’re working from the comfort of your home, in your PJ’s, sipping on your hot cup of cocoa while dropping some nuggets of professional wisdom on your laptop….All is well, you don’t have to wear pants, comb your ‘fro, or look human for that matter, and you can still get your work done without the office buzz and constant interrupting.
That is, until your toddler comes crashing into your office with a full cup of juice now spilling all over your laptop, actually, ahem, the company’s laptop…And there goes the romantic aspect of working from home, right out the window, as you proceed to call IT to figure out how you can save that spreadsheet you’ve been working on for the past day, or resuscitate the almost-defunct machine…
That’s the story of many working moms (and dads) who get the luxury of working from home, with the steep discount of doing it all in the lovely company of their active, attention-needing kids. And while there’s a lot being said out there about working productively from home, and eliminating all the distractions that come with it, what’s not being said enough is that doing the whole work from home thing with kids is a whole ‘nother ball game. As in juggling ten thousand balls in the air, and dropping all of them, all at once…Yeah, like that…
Many companies allow their employees the flexibility of working from home. It’s a great perk that’s often used as a backup for school closings, unavailable childcare, doctor appointments, etc. Except in most cases, it also means you’re working extra hard to deal with your kids, your work, and looking for your pants in the meantime…
From catching up on my work from home day with a work-from-home evening/night/whatever it takes, to having full-blown conversations with my kids about the importance of letting their parents earn a paycheck (so they could buy toys), here are some of the best most practical tips I’ve gathered over time. Nothing glamorous, just what works without anyone losing their mind, hair or allowance for the next 10 years:
Start early!
As in: wake up before the storm starts! At least that’s how I call it… I try to set my alarm for at least an hour before everyone wakes up, not just to be able to hear my own thoughts, but to get started on any major task I have for the day…
Have a P-L-A-N!
It’s one thing to have somewhat of a plan when you’re working from home alone and trying to stay away from the fridge or keep from getting it done and over with that pesky laundry!
It’s another when you’re surrounded by kids who have zero concept of your professional obligations! Hence the P-L-A-N! I’m not talking about your basic to-do list, but an actual kid-proof contingency plan, complete with games, fun activities, and even sugar bribes….because: sanity…
Be realistic!
Let’s be real! Working from home with one or multiple little humans is not going to be as productive as being in your comfy cube listening to jazz music… Just sayin’…
To avoid major frustration and chocolate meltdown, be realistic about how much you can REALLY get done! Adjust your to-do list to reflect the most urgent tasks and use early morning hours, naps and other quiet times to get your hustle on…
Take breaks!
Between running after your kids to make sure they don’t accidentally lock themselves in the freezer, and being on conference calls while singing the “happy poop” song to your toddler, it can get rough! I mean, I remember dreaming of the peace and quiet of my cube while begging the kids to keep quiet so I could explain why my project status was down to zero…
So give yourself (and the kids) some breaks during the day! Whether it’s taking a quick walk outside, playing hide-and-seek for 10 minutes, take a load off sometimes…
Keep the communication with your team open!
Make sure to keep expectations on par with your team! Set clear deadlines and allow yourself what I call some “buffer” time…. You know, in case the little one unplugs the wireless connection, spills juice on your (company) laptop, or has a serious crisis over non-cooperating Lego pieces…
Use the rewards system!
You don’t know what working from home surrounded by little humans is until you’ve actually done it…And come out of it alive with some sanity and professionalism left!
So reward yourself for holding it down all day and still be sending civil emails and well-crafted reports… Oh, and give the kids a hug for actually trying to understand why “mommy” has to keep her job to be able to buy more Lego pieces…
Get feedback!
Don’t forget to seek and get feedback to improve on your productivity while working from home. It could be a simple “hey how am I doing?” to your boss, or a personal assessment of how many projects you’re completing in the office versus at home…
Oh, and ask the kids how mommy’s doing too…You’d be surprised how many ideas of legitimate kids’ bribes they can come up with…
What’s your best advice to work from home with kids?
To Your Success,
Solange
by Solange Lopes | Jan 6, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
After we got married, hubby and I started a family tradition of talking about /writing down our goals at the start of every new year. As two consenting adults having recovered from excessive dessert consumption, we’d swap intentions for the next 365 days. Kinda like when we swapped vows, minus the white dress, the pricey venue, and that tight undergarment that threatened to choke me…
A few years and a few babies in, our intention-swapping process was met with little wondering eyes from the little people in our lives, who started asking us: “What’s a goal?” It was time to start including the little people in our family tradition…
But how do you explain the concept of goals to kids? How do you help kids set said goals too? Do they even have realistic dreams yet to nurture? And if they do, aren’t we running the risk to crush them under our rigid adult goals and intentions?
I mean, dear daughter wants to be a singer, and my little guy has his (stubborn) heart set on being a superhero. If we were back in my native Senegal, their sweet dreams would have been welcome with the rolling eyes and pursed lips of concerned parents. And following, the immediate admonition to quit dreaming and promptly start settling for a career in medicine or business. Or possibly finding a rich husband if you were female…
Back to my dear little people’s goals…I have some more thinking to do when it comes to the whole superhero thing…But for my future in-house Mariah Carey, while her goal is a very long-term one, it can help her to set benchmarks to attain it…Like little tiny steps she can accomplish every year to get there, or anywhere she sets her mind to really…
When we started realizing that we could actually let our kids safely express their dreams, and teach them to set benchmarks towards them while putting up with setbacks and roadblocks, the whole goal-setting process with kids became more of a fun adventure…
Here are seven imperfect but working principles every parent can use to help kids develop strong goals and start the new year (or new month/week/day) energized and confident (minus the occasional candy and sweet treats):
Ask Your Kids About their Goals/Dreams/Aspirations
The last time my mom was visiting from Senegal, we were discussing how little parents back home talk to their kids. And how little they know about their kids in the end…I mean, I still remember my friend (we’ll call her Aminata) telling her mom she wanted to skip out on college and become a writer instead…after they’ve put themselves in debt to send her to medical school. I let you image the amount of eye rolls and finger snapping coloring the rest of the conversation…
Start with getting used to asking your little ones about their dreams, goals and aspirations. Even if all you’ll hear about at first is superheroes and Shopkins…
Encourage your little people to have realistic goals.
Ok, so this part is a lot less pleasant than letting your son or daughter take you along La-La-Land on their dream adventures with Superman on the moon…But it’s also one of the most valuable lessons you may be teaching them…
Most times, kids come up with gigantic goals that are so far off reality you may have to take a deep breath. I mean, if dear daughter sings so out of tune the family cat runs and hides under her own litter box, it may be high time for a reality check. Like “baby, is this something you really want to do?”
But challenge them with just-out-of-reach goals.
As much as we may want our little people to have realistic goals, we also don’t want them to settle into Comfort Zone (or our basement) forever…If you don’t push them to challenge themselves, they may never leave their rooms…
That’s the great thing about setting goals that are attainable, but force them to reach. Goals that teach them to try. Goals that challenge them to push themselves.
Help them set specific goals.
A good goal is never so vague no one really knows what in the world you’re talking about. Like with the whole superhero thing, or being a star soccer player…
After allowing yourself to smile on the inside, motivate your little people to be more specific about their goals. Ask questions like: “What do you want to be a superhero?”, “How many goals do you want to score per game?”…
Brainstorm together to make these goals more specific, and turn it into a game to make it even more fun.
Do the Breakdown thing.
The next time dear daughter decides to create a worldwide line of beaded bracelets (hello entrepreneurial spirit), help her do the breakdown thing. Teach her to chop her goals off into small, manageable chunks. Like making a couple of bracelets that look like bracelets first. Then maybe find a client (or bribe Grandpa to buy them all)…
This way, they’ll know where to start, what to reach for, and the art of building a Beaded Bracelet Empire.
Map It Out.
Ok, I love mapping stuff out…There’s something about drawing little paths and checkpoints and goalposts that make me all warm inside…And doing it with my little ones as we set up goals at the beginning of the year multiplies the fun factor (plus the messes and graffiti everywhere)…
Help your little people build visual aids documenting their goals and the steps to reach them. Make it a fun exercise, and push them to check in on their goals every so often. That will help them in turn develop their own systems to set goals and crush them.
Turn It Into Family Fun.
Goal-setting is more fun when done in family…With all the mess, everyone speaking on top of each other, and the kids cleaning their sticky hands on the New Year’s vision board…That’s family fun for you…
But seriously, despite all the confusion, setting goals together as a family can help foster an environment of cooperation and support. Plus some good laughs in the process…
How do you help your kids set goals for the New Year?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 19, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Dove Love Your Hair Campaign
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dove™.
Throughout this campaign, I continue my own conversation as a mom with my daughter on being positive about her hair. Dove™is on a mission to empower moms to be leaders in their daughter’s hair confidence journey by teaching them to love their own. Dove Hair will be hosting a website where people can personalize their mother/daughter photo with creative text and images for sharing on their social networks.
The first time my baby girl came to me and asked me why she had “puffy” hair and not long, straight hair like her friend Jaliah, I didn’t know what to answer. I hadn’t planned on being asked that question so soon, she was only six years old…But she could already tell in her little beautiful mind, that the world could be different depending on whether your hair was “puffy” or pin straight…
In the next few minutes, I pondered all kinds of answers I could give her. Or how I could possibly change the topic and make her forget about it all…Then I remembered how important my own hair journey, as a Black African woman, had been, and in many respects, still was.
From those evenings back in the day when my mother would heat up the hot comb on the stove and mistakenly burn the edges of my ears trying to straighten my curly hair. To those day-long appointments at the local hair salon, waiting in line to get my hair relaxed, straightened and flat-ironed to achieve that coveted pin-straight look. To finally, that fateful day when, three months pregnant with my second baby, I left a crowded hair salon and gave up on ever trying to change the texture of my hair again. In between these, I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl with coarse, wildly curly hair, and if I wanted her to be true to the reflection she saw in the mirror, I had to be true to my own reflection…
What is beautiful hair? That’s the question so many women and young girls ask themselves daily. And that ‘s the question society has been trying to impose answers to women for so long…Dove™found that 8 in 10 women feel pressured to wear their hair a certain way. Yet, 82% of girls learn about caring for themselves from their mothers.Which also means that, as moms, we can help make a difference. We can show our daughters to love their hair, love themselves, and feel confident about the true, authentic image they project to the world…
There’s something about letting go of the need to look a certain way that replaces the need to be accepted, with the simple reality of accepting yourself. As is. Although the start of my natural transition was a bit like jumping off a cliff without a parachute, not knowing what to do with this newfound hair freedom that threatened to hijack everything I knew about society’s norms and my own, it was also a great exercise in self-discovery…
I quickly discovered that wearing my own hair curly, wild and free made me feel at home, like my best self. Those rebellious waves coming to the surface felt like a comfortable pair of slippers I had never taken off. So when I saw the same rebellious, stubborn waves popping on my baby’s full head of “puffy”, wild hair, I felt home. And I wanted her to feel home in her own hair too…Home in her own wild kinks and coils and curls. Home in who she was and was to become…I wanted her to learn the simple truths that it took me a few decades to learn, the ease to be home in your own hair…
So when that day she asked me about her “puffy” hair, and I didn’t know what to answer at first, I simply took a deep breath and remembered. I remembered why I decided to feel at home in my own hair. And how she walked me home without even knowing it…And I decided to tell her, that day and every day after that, whether she asks or not…
I’m still deciding, day after day, to tell her how beautiful her kinks and coils and crazy curls are. How she inspired me to love my own kinks and coils, just because of who she was. And how we’re all beautiful in our own, special, unique, free way…And that’s why I’m so excited to be part of the Dove™Love Your Hair campaign, to share my journey and tell my baby why I care with this custom Dove™animated message.
That’s why I encourage myself as a mom, and I’m encouraging you as a mom as well, to start, continue, deepen the conversation with your daughter(s) about their own hair. To instill in them the confidence we sometimes find so hard to instill in ourselves. And to have fun in the process…
Tell her why you love her hair. Make it a memorable experience by going to the Dove™ website HERE, and creating your own Dove™ Love Your Hair animated message with your baby.
How are you encouraging your daughter to love her own hair and be confident in who she is?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dove™.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 14, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Nothing like stepping into stores filled with busy people, loads of stuff to buy and loud Christmas carol music during the holidays, accompanied with a bunch of toy-thirsty kids, to get your lifetime financial education in check…All the while realizing how much you need to teach your kids about the all-important fact that global warming notwithstanding, money still doesn’t grow on trees/wallets/purses/piggy banks, etc….
Let’s be real, holiday cheer aside, the “most wonderful time of year” is also the most commercial time of year, especially for anything kid-related. Which means you may have to start slipping a word or two to your kids about the fact that just because you have a purse doesn’t mean it’s filled with money. And that if we could buy the entire store worth of toys, we wouldn’t be frantically clipping BJ’s coupons every weekend…Just sayin’…
But are the holidays really the best time to teach kids about money? Isn’t it supposed to be a time of happiness, and cheer and… record spending? Must we ruin the mood and start giving out lessons on the importance of fiscal responsibility to little people who still believe in the magic of Santa Claus and TV toy commercials?
There actually isn’t a better time to do so…And if you ask me, here are a few lessons every fiscally-concerned parent can pass on to their kids somewhere in the midst of Christmas carols and finding a new spot for the Elf on the Shelf:
Lesson #1: Start with what you have!
Start at the beginning, that is, with what you already have. I remember growing up in Senegal, West Africa, and celebrating Christmas in the simplest of ways. Not because we didn’t have enough, but because we had a whole lot more than many around us…
Have your children look around over the holidays and make a quick inventory of everything they have, from a roof over their heads to food on the table and toys they even forgot about. Make it a game to see who comes up with the most items to be grateful for. Then explain how all this “stuff” they have costs money too.
The sooner they understand that pretty much every material thing around them is obtained with money, the sooner they realize its impact.
Lesson #2: Want What You Need!
My mother used to perform an audit of mine and my siblings’ Christmas lists before mailing them to Santa. And the recurring question as she’d carefully scan our wishes lists would always be: “Hmmm…I wonder if Santa’s going to ask if you really need this?”
Which of course in our cute little curly heads didn’t add up at all at the time…Isn’t Santa just supposed to be a wish-granting machine? No one has ever mentioned the new implementation of a “wants vs. needs” system…At least, we didn’t hear it in the news…
Yet invariable each year, my siblings and I would get more of the stuff we really needed vs. the stuff we wanted. Santa’s administration was being overhauled…
How about asking your kids the same question? What do they really need as opposed to just wanting it? Ask them about how they would use the items on their list and how that would help them and others? The sooner they learn to make the difference between what they need vs. what they want, the easier it will be to learn about how to spend their money (and yours)…
Lesson#3: The name of the game is “Earn It”!
Your kids see you going to work every day, or striving in your own business to earn an income. Similarly, they may earn their allowances by doing some chores in the house, or keeping their grades up, or even behaving exceptionally well.
The principle should be the same during the holidays. Have they earned their (long) Christmas gift lists? What have they done to deserve all that “stuff”? Along with their Christmas list, ask them to also make a list of all the positive things they’ve accomplished throughout the year. Some of their answers may have you stitches…
Then, if your kids are slightly older (10 and over), ask them to name a few people they admire who’ve created great things. They may be able to come up with names like Steve Jobs (Apple), Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), Walt Disney (Disney), etc…They may have to google some of these names, but all in all, it should be a fun and educational game for the whole family to play.
At the end of the day, you want them to link money and rewards to actions. The more positive their actions, the more money and rewards they’ll be able to earn…
Lesson#4: Look Into the Future!
“I want it NOW!” How many times have you heard your kids, or any kid for that matter, say this? For most kids, the here and now is really all that matters. Especially during the holidays…But it’s also a great time to teach them about investing in their own futures…
Ask them what BIG dream they have for the future? Do they want to go visit Grandma in Senegal next summer? Or go back to that awesome summer camp they so enjoyed last year? Then introduce the concept of asking for/starting a savings fund to meet that goal/dream/objective. Consider offering them shares of stock into their favorite companies for instance…This will plant the seed of investing into the future for them…
Make it a family game and have everyone share their long-term goals/dreams, and maybe add an item or two in their gift list around investments and savings…
Lesson#5: Giving brings more!
One principle that tends to get overlooked when it comes to educating kids about money is the concept of giving. From tithing to giving money to charities and causes we believe in, giving has incredible power. We give to help others, to sow back into the world, and that’s also how we create channels of prosperity that benefit everyone, us included.
Challenge your kids this holiday season to add a “Giving” section to their Christmas list. Whether it’s donating their time to a soup kitchen, or making handmade cookies for children in need, or buying a toy for another kid, help them link together the concepts of receiving and giving. Make it fun by having the whole family participate as well!
How are you going to teach your kids about money this holiday season?
Cheers!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 8, 2016 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
So our family finally caught up with the #ElfontheShelf tradition this year. After much deliberation (which in “mommy brain time” means about ten seconds of uninterrupted free thinking), it was decided…So I went on the hunt for what would be our very own #Elfontheshelf, you know, the one that would fit into our slightly crazy, laundry-challenged, on-the-run family of four…
And on a damp Sunday morning after church, I found her in a corner of a Kohl’s store, the last girl #ElfontheShelf from the entire store inventory. It was love girl crush at first sight! Of course, it had to be a girl, because girls can do anything and Mommy’s way too much of a feminist to put the slightest dent into her lifelong theory on gender equality…Even when it comes to toys and the magic of the holidays…
Elf on the Shelf
So there I was, female Elf on the Shelf in hand, feminist pride in tow, toting our brand new tradition back home on a damp December morning. After an elaborate and quite spirited trick, which included the hubby hiding the car around the corner, ringing the bell and leaving the Elf package at the doorstep, Snowflake was officially adopted in the family. Which also meant as new parents, we implicitly signed on the invisible dotted line of the holiday magic, promising to perpetuate the tradition of the Elf going back to the North Pole to report on the kids’ behavior every night and coming back to crash in a new spot every morning.
As with any adoption of a new family member, there’s bound to be hiccups. Which may or may not include forgetting to move Snowflake a couple of nights and having to come up with semi-scientific justifications accompanied with straight parental faces. Or resorting to the unethical excuse of an inanimate object to get little people to behave in the interest of getting more inanimate objects to celebrate spending more money and having more stuff….Don’t judge us…
But (and there’s always a but), there are also always some lessons to be learnt as we tiptoe the fine line between wise parenting, cute holiday traditions and the need to just pee alone once in a great while. And for us, it came in the form of five interesting take-aways from adopting a girl elf in our slightly crazy, laundry-challenged household:
There’s Magic In Movement.
“Why does the Elf have to move all the time, Mommy?”
And why do these kids come up with questions that force you to think overtime? I mean, it’s enough to complete the year-end report, think about where I last put the keys, and devise a miraculous alternative to clean laundry. Now, to figure out why the Elf moves all the time, and has to go back hang out at the North Pole and come back to crash for breakfast, really, dude?
Fast-forward to a couple of cups of coffee, and some temporarily lifted brain fog…
“Because when she moves, she creates magic. She can fly to the North Pole and help Santa, and come back to a different place, and do it even better the next day.”
I had to give myself a virtual high-five for this one, especially considering this all happened before looking fully human early in the morning.
But the point is, really, there’s magic in movement, in doing something, anything, in not being at the same place all the time. Not living through the same experiences every year for 75 years and calling it a life…
As I drove to work that morning, I thought the Elf was pretty cool doing her own thing, switching it up all the time, and creating magic in the process. Maybe I could take a cue or two from her this year…
Which brings me to….
Change Is A Constant.
“But does the Elf move every day, Mommy? Don’t her wings get tired? And where are her wings anyways?”
See, that’s the problem with kids nowadays. We want them to be smart, inquisitive and all. And next thing you know, they’re asking you questions you can’t answer…I mean, I grew up in a household of four in West Africa, which also meant if you found an #ElfontheShelf and let it go to the North Pole to hang out, she wasn’t coming back no how…
“Change is good baby! She’s always moving and going places and seeing different things.”
I also wanted to add that we were running out of places to move Snowflake, and keep her looking all fresh and cool every morning. But that’s the thing with life, and parenting, and everything in else in between too, right?
You constantly have to update yourself, upgrade yourself, and stay in the mix, while still looking fresh and cool every morning…
Accountability is Cool.
Day 1: Oops, we forgot to move the #Elfontheshelf !
Like, really, we’re the parents here. With a gazillion electronic devices throughout the entire house, no one thought to set an alarm, a reminder, an automatic slap to let that poor Elf go hang out in the North Pole and move her the next morning…Really?
As much as we wanted to hold the kids accountable for behaving well so the Elf wouldn’t go back to the North Pole and tell on them (isn’t that tattle-telling?), we also had to be accountable. As in, being the adults and actually doing what we said we would…
We teach better what we need to learn, right? And sometimes as parents, in the shuffle of everything going on, it’s hard to keep ourselves accountable. Even to ourselves. I mean, I had vowed to keep myself accountable to make it to the gym and eat right. We all know what happened there…
As I was moving the Elf early this morning in between stubbing my toe on the Christmas tree and dropping coffee on my robe, I got to thinking about how a little inanimate object wrapped in a cute tradition can keep us in check…Teaching some things we forget along the way, and reminding us to pass it along…
And maybe that’s the true magic…
Plus the fact that I could swear this Elf be looking at me sideways every time I dip in the kids’ piggy bank for spare change…
via GIPHY
PS: Here are some great ideas of #ElfontheShelf displays you can get inspired from:
Happy Holidays,
The Corporate Sis…
