If you ask most working women and moms, time is not only a hard commodity to come by, especially in the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s also a fluid concept that doesn’t necessarily abide by all, or most of the official time management techniques…Not when interruptions are par for the course, and last-minute crisis management becomes a given on any day…
Managing time for working women and moms is far from being an organized, disciplined, scheduled day-to-day sequence of events and choices. Rather, it’s a spontaneous, change-laden, transition-filled and evolving process on the best of days. On the worst of days, it’s managed chaos under somewhat of a sense of serendipitous control.
The reason behind this is the long-lost realization that for working women and moms, time management is less of a choice than it is a constant, regular trade-off between what’s most important and what’s less important, what has to be addressed now versus what can wait another minute, what cannot be planned yet still happens and what happened without ever being planned…The COVID-19 pandemic was a harsh reminder of this fact, exposing the whole world to the fragile subjectivity and utter subordination of women’s time, energy and devotion to unending, unpaid and often un-rewarded, endless caregiving…
In her book “Year of Yes: How to Dance is Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person”, Shonda Rhimes says it well: “That is the trade-off. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel 100 percent okay, you never get your sea legs, you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing. And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them”. Yet, it’s this constant, often heart-wrenching trade-off, that also teaches our daughters and sons about not giving up on who they are while still giving of themselves. It’s this trade-off that has allowed the world to benefit from the indispensable contributions of women to all fields of work and life. Most importantly, it’s on the harsh yet generous foundational shoulders of this trade-off that so many of us stand today, to accomplish the work of our lives and leave the legacy of our existences.
Don’t get me wrong, time management is crucial. However, the traditional idea of time management, the one constructed around the history, traditions and schedules of a patriarchal system, are no longer reflecting the realities of a working population made up by half of working women and mothers. We must re-think antiquated concepts of time and ways to manage it, as part of the now accelerated process of change and renewal our society is finding itself in the midst of. Part of this, maybe the most important part of this, is the realization that for working women and mothers, time is but a trade-off.
Do you agree that time management is a matter of a trade -off for working women and moms?
We’ve all heard about the conventional time management advice out there. From breaking down your tasks into manageable bits, to creating new habits in 21 days, most of us have, at some point or another, thought about and even implemented ways to be more strategic with our time. Yet, as working women and moms, time management tends to take a life of its own complexity and nature. From attending to caregiving tasks, to last-minute parenting events, not to mention facing social and professional stigma and lack of gender equity, managing one’s time in a career context is a beast of its own. That’s where the IDEAS framework, anchored in the “Pay Yourself First” principle, comes in…
For working women and moms, managing time strategically and efficiently does not stop at allocating tasks to blocks of time, or creating a well-organized schedule and calendar. Time does not exactly flow on a continuum when one carries the mental load of managing a household, nurturing relationships, parenting or caregiving. Instead, time tends to be a fluid construct integrating the need for flexibility, adaptability and replenishment while allowing for self-compassion and grace, all the while getting things done as efficiently as possible. Talk about a conundrum….
After decades of applying traditional principles of time management, what I, and other women I’ve talked to have found, is that strategic time management for working women and moms is all but traditional or conventional for that matter. What it is, is an ever-changing, fluid construct that can adapt to each working woman and mom’s situation, context and environment. To help in the building of this construct, I’ve outlined what I call the IDEAS framework for strategic time management for working women and moms. This framework is based on the principle of “paying yourself first”, or investing in our most important, career and life-defining long-term goals first and foremost. For example, if your long-term, most important goals include writing a book, paying yourself first would mean investing your time strategically and consistently towards achieving this goal.
The IDEAS framework is as follows:
Identify your most important professional goals:
What are your most important, lifelong professional goals and aspirations? These may even be dreams you’ve had since you were a child, like starting your own business, ascending to the top of the corporate ladder, or research an important cause or topic to you?
Define the tasks to reach these goals
What tasks are needed to reach your goals. In order to write a book for instance, you may have to begin with defining a specific idea, mapping the content of the book, vetting your ideas with trusted advisors or friends.
Establish a time map of your process
Once you delineate the various tasks involved in accomplishing each goal, estimate how long each task is going to require. As a general rule of thumb, double up or multiply your time estimate by 2.5 to get as close as possible to the actual time it will take you, especially as a busy working woman and/or mom. Place these time estimates on your calendar to visualize how and where these would fit along with your everyday other tasks.
Act on it!
Placing your tasks on your calendar in the allotted time slots you’ve defined in the prior step will also allow you to treat these as full-blown appointments with yourself. Treat each task as an appointment for which you have to show up on time, and deliver the expected results. For instance, if you’ve allotted yourself one hour each day to write, make sure to actually show up and execute on a daily basis!
Support yourself and be accountable!
One thing that is often overlooked as related to strategic time management is the amount of support and accountability required. This is especially relevant for working women and moms who have a lot on their plates day in and day out. Finding like-minded women and moms on the same or a similar path can help provide the support needed, and keep you honest throughout this process, as you can also do for others as well!
Would you be interested in applying the IDEAS framework of strategic time management as a working woman and mom? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com for more information.
One thing that is sure about the pandemic, is that it has definitely radically altered the way we think about work, especially as working women and moms. As we went through the pandemic and watched the lines between work, life and parenting being blurred, throwing working moms and women into an abyss of unending and exhausting responsibilities and struggles. As a result, many, if not most working women and moms, have been re-thinking their careers and what they truly want out of work.
According to a recent research by McKinsey, one in four working women in North America revealed they were considering a career downshift or dropping out of the workforce entirely. This shift in career attitudes and expectations clearly shows women and moms are stepping away from traditional views on work, and redefining its meaning in their lives. However, for many, this also equates to stepping onto unfamiliar territory. After all, most of what we known as far as work and careers go, comes from traditional perspectives passed on from previous generations. For the longest time, work has been confined to something we do to earn a living, separate from who we are and the personal parts of our lives. Today, and especially after the pandemic, the lines between the personal and professional have been incredibly, and probably irretrievably, blurred. We work from the same homes we raise our kids in, often on the same kitchen tables we eat our family meals on, in the same environment we live, breathe and evolve in every single day. Sometimes, work even involves sharing some of our most private moments on screen and social media, when our positions require it or when our careers err on the side of unconventionality. In any case, work is definitely not what it used to be, which is only one more reason to revisit our careers and what we truly want out of it…
Yet, where do we even begin in this monumental quest to re-define what we want out of work, when the last thing we need is yet another monumental task on our to-do list. This is the question so many working women and moms are asking themselves at this very moment, as some are forced to exit the workforce for lack of adequate childcare and others are seeking a relief from chronic burnout. The reality is, revisiting the very meaning and purpose of our careers is not a one-time thing. The reality is, it’s a process that requires regular attention and dedication. While it may vary from individual to individual, depending on personal preferences, circumstances and choices, it’s anchored in three major principles, including:
Shifting Your Mindset
Rethinking the meaning, place and purpose of work in our lives is no easy feat. Considering the amount and sheer number of pressures faced by the average person, from financial to economic and personal pressures, stepping outside of the traditional norms of work in order to create one’s own definition of professional success can be a daring act in and of itself. Yet, it’s very much a necessary one…
How would you envision your ideal career if money and the other pressures of life were non-existent? What would professional fulfillment and purpose look like to you? How would you rethink your career ambitions to fit your life, personality and priorities?
Organizing your Priorities
Speaking of priorities, a big part of rethinking our careers as working women and moms is also a matter of organizing, and re-organizing our priorities. One thing the pandemic exposed for many, if not most of us, is the lack of boundaries existing between the different areas of our lives. Let’s remember for working women and moms, work is all around, from the professional work we do in and out of the office, to the work we do at home folding laundry, cooking meals and homeschooling kids…
While much of this lack of boundaries was a result of extreme circumstances imposed to us by a global health crisis, a significant part of it was inherited from a latent inequity in social roles and responsibilities at the expense of working women and moms’ balance, health and sanity. This is where understanding, acknowledging and organizing our priorities comes into play…
What truly matters to you? What can you delegate or get more help and assistance on? What are non-negotiables in your work and life? What constitutes a sacred space for you? These are all questions that touch to the core of who we are as working women and moms, that have been neglected for far too long in favor of the proverbial hustle to get it all done. Maybe this is the time to put them back on the table…
Learning to Set Boundaries
Where lines between work and every other area of our lives have been blurred during the pandemic, most of us have realized the urgent need for boundaries in the way we work and live. As we re-imagine our careers in the wake of this crisis, we’re also slowly learning to stop teetering on the edge of personal and professional burnout and exhaustion. This requires getting re-acquainted with the concept of boundaries.
What boundaries do you feel are lacking in your work and life? How did this impact you during the pandemic? What kind of boundaries would you set in your ideal career?
As so many working women and moms are reframing their vision of their careers after the pandemic, many questions are coming to the forefront. While these are challenging our traditional views on work, they’re also helping create the new working world for women and moms.
Are you rethinking what you want out of your career after the pandemic?
As we’re starting to emerge from the global COVID-19 pandemic, one thing we can all say is that we’ve become quite familiar with change. From one day to the other, we’ve gone from going about our daily lives the way we’ve always known, to being hunkered down in our homes, homeschooling our kids, and working remotely. Talk about a total change…
For working women and moms, this change has been even more drastic, as society unconsciously reverted to a more traditional setting with traditional gender roles. What this means for working women and moms is having to shoulder the unfair and unequal weight of household, child-rearing and elderly care responsibilities, in addition to work and other duties. What this also meant during this pandemic, and still means to this day, is that the type of drastic change we’ve been forced into has been so much more detrimental to working women and moms. No wonder so many working women and moms have been pressured into a mass exodus out of their careers for lack of adequate childcare, among other reasons…
Yet, change is not all bad. Quite to the contrary. In his best-selling book, “Who Moved My Cheese”, Dr. Spencer Johnson teaches an edifying lesson about change through the short, yet powerful story of a couple of mice and little humans dealing with change. His book, a masterpiece in simple, practical change management in my opinion, reminds us all of that the only constant is change. As such, change should not be avoided, or resisted, or even worse, fought against. Instead, we’re reminded to embrace the gift of change, along with the opportunities it brings along.
As beneficial as change may be, its recent manifestations have not necessarily been good to working women and moms. How then can working women and moms leverage change in their careers especially, when the latter are being particularly threatened by the current societal and business changes at play, from remote work to lack of childcare? Can otherwise seemingly challenging circumstances be reframed to allow for positive change? The answer is yes.
Here are three tips to consider:
Actively expect change (and prepare for it)
The only constant is change. As much as we may be creatures of comfort, we have to contend with the reality that nothing stays the same. For many, if not most of us, this requires a mindset change in how we see ourselves, the people surrounding us, and the environments around us.
By making peace with the fact that change will happen, we can develop a preemptive inner resilience to bring us through change in a positive and productive way. We’re also better equipped to monitor ourselves and the world around us for signs of change, and begin to prepare for it while adverting the related inevitable negative consequences.
As working women and moms, it can mean setting up systems and processes in our work and lives that can stand change. For many, it’s creating additional streams of income through side hustles and businesses, building investing resources, or automating certain tasks to make room to pivot when needed.
Adapt!
Adaptability is one of the most valuable personal and professional skills. For working women and moms who juggle so many balls in the air, and face so many more opportunities to experience change, it’s literally indispensable.
Think of it as cultivating the resilience, creativity, innovative spirit and strategies to reinvent ourselves as environments, people and circumstances around us morph. While adaptability requires courage and the aptitude to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations, it also offers the incredible gift of reinvention and pivoting, both professionally and personally.
For many working women and moms during the pandemic, it’s meant learning to adapt to remote work while homeschooling kids and running a household, among other responsibilities. This in turn has generated treasures of creativity, resulting in cutting-edge new businesses, innovative ways to work, and fresher ways to approach the always-elusive work-life balance.
Enjoy the process
Change is not to be feared. Rather, it’s an opportunity to face uncertainty with an open mind and positive perspective. In many ways, it’s an adventure back to the core of who we are, uncovering layers of our personalities and mindsets we may not have suspected unless faced with the prospect of change. More than anything, it’s an inevitable process whose rewards, most of which are unseen, well outweigh the costs . Enjoy it!
If we can’t avoid change, especially as working women and moms, then we shouldn’t miss the opportunity to maximize its potential in our work and lives. By preparing for it, adapting to it, and enjoying the process, we have the potential of turning what most fear into some of the biggest opportunities of our lifetimes.
To PhD or not to PhD? Making the decision to pursue a terminal degree is no easy feat. Making the decision to pursue a terminal degree as a working woman or working mom may downright be one of the toughest decisions you’ll have to make in your career and life. Going for your doctorate degree also means preparing for one of the most challenging balancing acts of working studying and taking care of your personal life. While you may decide to complete this degree at your own pace, whether it be on a full or part-time basis, the challenges will still be there.
Some of these challenge, to cite only a few, include the sheer amount of work, sacrifice and research involved. For most working women and moms, the time and effort commitment required can stand in the way of family and personal life, and even work. Many, if not most traditional PhD programs, tend to require full-time availability for years, making it close to impossible to work while studying. Thankfully, there is an increasing number of professional programs, geared at more experienced candidates, which may allow you to keep your job while you complete your doctoral program. Money can also become an issue, unless you’re offered a scholarship or significant financial assistance. This is why finding the right doctoral program can make a world of difference for you…
Women have actually earned 52.9% of doctoral degrees in the US in 2018-19, as revealed by the Council of Graduate Schools. However, it appears they are under-represented in elite PhD programs, particularly in maths-skill oriented fields, creating a notable “prestige gap”. While the data does not reveal the reasons behind the under-representation of women in high-prestige doctoral programs, patterns of gender inequality are undeniable. Some of the reasons behind the “prestige gap” may include women opting out of the application process to elite programs, scoring lower on average on the math GRE, or having different constraints than men. On the other end of the spectrum, this could also be explained by admission committee bias, rooted in deeply-seated cultural beliefs about gender and ability.
Despite the obvious, and not-so-obvious, obstacles standing in the way of working women and moms pursuing a doctoral program, there are strong benefits to doing so. These can be summarized in the three categories below:
Impact
If making a difference in your field is a priority for you, then a doctoral degree can help you achieve this. One of the main benefits of completing a doctoral program is learning the art of research. Through research, you may be able to contribute to the existing body of knowledge in your field, thus potentially creating change and tremendous impact.
Career Growth and Influence
Completing and earning your doctoral degree also means you are an expert in your field. Research allows you to exponentially grow your expertise in your chosen field, and sets you up to grow in your work.
Additionally, you may be able to boost your career prospects once you complete a doctoral program. You may be able to start a career in academia as a professor and/or researcher. If academia is not in the cards for you, then a variety of high-level industry careers may open their doors to you.
Another area of career growth is monetary. You can reasonably expect to earn a higher salary with a doctoral degree in hand, along with additional opportunities to increase your income. These may include but are not limited to consulting, speaking, teaching and other expert-related opportunities.
Potential
Last but not least, earning a doctoral degree will help you develop exceptional critical thinking skills through research, expert knowledge in your field, in addition to the resilience and fortitude to resolve complex problems. The challenges presented by a PhD program will certainly develop your potential to its fullest, and prepare you not just for a successful career, but also for a greater purpose in your work and life.
To Phd or not to Phd? It’s a question whose answer may vary from individual to individual. Despite its great rewards and long-term benefits, it’s also a journey that’s just not for everyone. It requires not just tremendous resilience, dedication and sustained effort, but also a solid passion to stay the course when the going gets tough. Yet, if you’re attracted by the prospect of contributing to greater knowledge, overcoming the challenge of a terminal education process, and achieving a sense of purpose through your work, then you may want to consider making it a part of your career and life path.
How many times have you started your week overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work staring you in the face? From your professional to your personal responsibilities, your schedule can easily have you going insane before you even begin your day, especially as a working woman and mom. Even worse, it can make or break your productivity and efficiency, and even alter your mental state in too many negative ways to count. As a recovering perfectionist working mom on the mend, I know all too well the toll that overcommitting yourself can take on anyone. Regardless of how competent, energetic, or indefatigable you may be, spreading yourself too thin is the perfect recipe for overwhelm, exhaustion and ultimately burnout.
There are many reasons why working women, especially overachieving ones, tend to overcommit in their families, careers and even friendships and other relationships. The root cause stems from an inability or difficulty to set appropriate limits and boundaries. For most, it even goes back to childhood, as girls are generally socialized to be accommodating, helpful and polite, often to avoid appearing selfish, self-centered or uncaring. This in turn breeds endless guilt on the part of women who cannot seem to say no. In many instances, over-commitment in overachieving women can stem from insecurity or pride.
If any of the above sounds familiar, you are certainly not alone. A 2019 study from leadership training company VitalSmarts finds 3 out of 5 individuals agree to do more than they can actually achieve in their available time. 1 in 5 people admits to have reached their limit in terms of commitments. Side effects reported as a result of over-commitment range from acute stress, anxity and worry, to draining feelings of defeat and overwhelm. Even more concerning yet, 44% of this study’s participants confess to not being fully present with their loved ones half of the time, with 37% admitting to being rarely if ever present. In the case of working women, this over-commitment is rarely ever truly rewarded, just by the sheet weight of breadth of expectations and demands on their time and energy.
How to do you keep then from overcommitting yourself when demands and expectations pile up? It’s a question that like so many working women and moms, I’ve struggled with and still wrestle with regularly. Like so many, I’ve tried it all, from attempting to delegate more, to building a not-to-do list, to even attending productivity workshops. Many of the techniques advertised out there would work for some time, until I would revert back to my packed to-do lists and compulsive “yes” habits.
When I read about the rule of 3, which basically consists in using 3 words as a figure of speech to communicate an idea, reflecting a rhetorical technique from ancient Greece, I started applying it to various areas of my work. It wasn’t until a while later that I started applying it to my own schedule, using these 3 guiding steps:
Identify 3 areas of Purpose
This first step requires much introspection and reflection before even engaging in it. If you take a look at your to-do list, you may notice that it runs the gamut, from picking up the dry cleaning to finishing the quarterly financial presentation. This can make it hard to focus on what is most important and most impactful. Notice I didn’t mention “most urgent”. In the times we live in, everything is mistakenly deemed to be urgent, from picking up a random phone call to having your brain “picked” at the drop of a dime.
This is where the “Rule of 3” comes in. After much reflection and self-audit, can you consolidate your commitments into 3 main areas? These are what I call the three areas of Purpose. These are intentional areas regrouping your most important and most impactful commitments. If you work as an auditor with a side consulting practice, your three areas of Purpose may be Audit, Consulting and Personal, for instance. My three areas of Purpose are Teaching, Writing and what I call my Sacred Zone, which includes my spiritual, personal and family commitments. What are your three areas of Purpose?
Streamline 3 main goals per area per day and/or week
If you look at your daily to-do list and you have upwards of 15 commitments to uphold, you may be burning yourself out. As a matter of fact, at any given moment, you may not even remember what those are. Instead, streamlining your commitments by area of Purpose, and limiting them to three per area of Purpose can help you accomplish more, minus the overwhelm and stress eating.
What are three main goals you can tackle today in each one of your areas of Purpose? If consulting with clients is one of your Purpose areas, then Mondays may be dedicated to planning, email and administrative tasks, while Tuesdays may be focused on client calls, meetings and networking, for instance. Picking a theme under which to place each day’s commitments may also help in this streamlining process.
Use the AIR criteria:
The following three crtieria and questions, can help to identify and confirm your areas of Purpose and commitments within each area:
Alignment: Is this area or commitment aligned with my role, skills and sense of Purpose?
Impact: Does this area and/or commitment create the most desired impact?
Real Growth: Is this area and/or commitment contributing to my growth?
Last but not least, keep in mind this is a growing, living, breathing process. The most important metric to consider here is progress, which makes it important to review your process daily. I’m constantly looking at better ways to streamline my commitments and areas of Purpose to create more impact, but also to achieve the ultimate freedom, that is time freedom.
Would you or are you using the Rule of Three to streamline your schedule?
Have you ever stood at the door of an incredible opportunity, and wanted nothing less than to run the other way? How many times have you anticipated with dread the possibility that you may actually win? Have you ever feared actually making it, rather than failing at it? That strange feeling in the pit of your stomach, that peculiar mix of joy and dread, is actually the fear of success so many women experience, especially in a professional context.
Fear of success for women is actually a theory developed by Matina Horner, as part of her graduate dissertation back in 1968. In her study and dissertation at the more than 30 years ago, Dr. Horner asked asked an audience of college students to respond to a scenario-based case in which a male, represented by “John”, or a female, represented by “Anne”, is at their medical class’s top. As a result of the negative responses by students to “Anne” being at the top of her medical class, the research concluded women experience a fear of success. As such, females anticipate negative repercussions for succeeding or even participating in male domains.
What Dr. Horner also discovered is the more women’s ability increases, the more their fear of success increases. This in turn negatively impacts their ability to compete with their male counterparts. Fear of success was also found to be correlated with women’s progress in school, where they tend to switch more “traditionally feminine” domains. It was also tied to society’s attitudes in general.
Fear of success can manifest in various ways, including procrastination, avoidance, low self-esteem, intimidation, fear of speaking up, among others. Many women will deliberately lower or hinder their own performance in order to avoid success. There are many reasons for this, from the fear of being cast out and rejected, to the torture of not belonging and losing social and emotional support, especially as nurturers. This also explains why despite the rising number of educated women, the representation of women at higher professional levels is still limited.
This fear of success in women is costing us valuable resources, innovation, and advances that remain buried in the unproductive soil of negative societal pressure. Beyond the most visible economic and financial argument, is also that of the personal limitations and even decay, imposed by restrictive gender roles that are frankly no longer aligned or adapted to our modern society, if they ever were.
In many cases, what is construed as being a fear of failure really hides a terrifying fear of success for working women. One we must first understand in order to deconstruct and challenge in the professional, personal and social contexts. One we must learn to honestly diagnose in ourselves and others, in order to limit and eventually stop its destructive consequences for all of society. It’s a challenge that must be undertaken on a personal and communal level, at the academic level, in professional organizations and teams, all the way to the highest governmental spheres, if we want women’s potential not to remain untapped for much longer.
