This episode is part of our “Black Women at Work” series in honor of Black History Month.
In this episode, I’m exploring how we, as working women and moms, can navigate and combat racial trauma in the workplace.
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Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, where we deal with and unpack the challenges facing mothers and offer encouragement and support…
Dear Working Mom,
Are you doing too much?
If you’re reading this, you may feel a twinge of anger as you wonder if you really have a choice to do less. Wouldn’t you take the opportunity to lessen your burden if you could? Maybe, but then again, maybe not…
In this modern era, almost post-pandemic era of the “supermom”, the mother who can defiantly do it all, is it possible that working mothers have taken on too much, willingly or not? Is it possible that after all, mothers have resigned themselves to carry an excessive burden that was always too heavy for them? And most importantly, is it still possible to put some of this burden down?
If you could only open your to-do list, and look at it with fresher eyes, with eyes outside of the harsh, demanding, and ultra-competitive reality you’re accustomed to, maybe you could see that not everything on it is truly needed. If you could take the exhaustion you feel in your body and soul, the hint of resentment and anger you experience all too often, as serious signs of imbalance and excess, you could see that what you’ve come to consider as your normal pace is actually burning you out. If you could understand that what the world considers to be a superwoman, a “successful” working mom, is a grossly ridiculous modern exaggeration of women’s and mothers’ roles, then you may be inclined to consider that maybe, only maybe, you are doing way too much…
In between all the ultra-positive messages of female independence and #girlpower, the hyper-visibility of women’s accomplishments, and the transformation of motherhood into a competitive social media-fueled performance, it’s no wonder too many working moms are overwhelmed. It’s also no wonder you feel the all too heavy pressure to do it all at the same time, from breaking the glass ceiling, raising model children, keeping up a spicy partnership, to maintaining the perfect girl squad too…Even as you’re advocating for increased gender equity, adding more action items to your already packed to-do list, you’re carrying burdens that never belonged to you entirely. All the while, you’re signing up for more kids’ activities, volunteering for additional benevolent activities, and trying to keep up with a smile on your face and a paralyzing fear of failing in your heart…
While you certainly have a lot on the various plates you’re juggling, you’re still adding on more, for fear of saying no, disappointing your loved ones, or just not being up to par. The reality is, as much as you have to do, what you don’t have to do is slip into the dangerous trap of excess, whether it’s excessive commitments, demands or challenges…
It may be time to pause and listen to your body, soul and mind, as they first whisper, then start loudly yelling, warning you of impending crisis. These warnings are not a sign of weakness or calls to increase your stamina, as you compare yourself to other working mothers who seem to do it all at all times, in the most flattering Instagram filters too. Instead, they’re nudges to ask yourself: “Am I doing too much?”
Is that extra project absolutely necessary? Are the extra kids’ activities a must? Are the extra volunteering activities on three boards, two parent-teacher associations, plus the neighborhood council indispensable? Is taking on all the grand family holiday celebrations a must?
Are you doing too much? And if so, it’s ok to release all the extra, focus on what truly matters, and breathe again, even if imperfectly so…
This episode is part of our “Black Women at Work” series in honor of Black History Month.
Today, we’re discussing the 7 most common struggles faced by Black women in the workplace. From lack of representation to lack of access to higher levels of management, there are many hurdles in their path. However, shedding light on these allows us to be more educated about these, and also to heal and bring effective solutions and strategies to these issues.
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
In academics as well as the professional sphere, Black women have been conditioned to operate in excellence for the longest time. There is a badge of honor that comes with always showing up in your optimal capacity, especially if and when you’re the “only” Black woman in the room, the department, at this or that level, or in the company as a whole. The traditional saying according to which Black women have to work twice as hard to achieve the same, or lesser results, than their counterparts, has and still is, holding true for many Black women in the workplace…
However, with the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic and the racial reckoning that has accompanied it, it is a reality that is increasingly starting to fade out. As the glaring gender, race and class inequalities are rearing their ugly heads, inflamed by the repercussions of a global health crisis shaking the very foundations of our society, women in general, and Black women in particular are questioning the legitimacy and necessity of a narrative aimed at glorifying an ideal of excellence rarely rewarded in kind by the advancement, growth and progress it was always supposed to create.
Excellence, for the sake of it, is certainly a noble pursuit to aspire to. For many, Black Excellence has served as a tool of empowerment. However, unrecognized, demeaned and even questioned excellence drastically diminishes its intended impact and effects. The point of making it into once restricted rooms, once secret conversations, and into once segregated systems, is to birth opportunities for change, growth and progress. When these opportunities are stifled and compressed, status quo not only remains, it grows stronger by the sheer compounding effect of the unrecognized effort and the barriers in place. All in all, it becomes an even harsh reminder of the barriers still standing in the way of gender and race equity for all.
? How can this be when Black women are graduating at higher rates than their male counterparts, and entering the workforce in larger numbers? How can Black excellence result in such dismal representation at lower and higher levels of management alike?
These are just some of the questions at the tip of the Black Excellence iceberg that is prompting many a Black woman to divest from it, and even begin to embrace mediocrity, which for many Black women has long been associated with lack of opportunity. What was hailed as a protection against unfairness and bias, is increasingly being experienced and seen as too costly a badge of honor to carry. One that may unwittingly reduce the lives of those who strive for it, to exceptionalism that may not be necessarily fulfilling, rather than true meaning, purpose, and even sanity.
More and more, the question is being raised as to whether or not measuring Black women’s worth through what is traditionally being defined as “exceptionalism” is still valid? Is being a CEO or high-tech executive in a non-diverse environment the real definition of exceptional success, or one that needs to be re-visited to expand more inclusive definitions of what success may look like across gender and race spaces? Maybe true excellence is about fulfilling a career and life of meaning on our own terms, inclusive of our different identities and aspirations, making it a welcoming space of growth rather than an enclosed trap of traditional expectations…
In 2020, a Pew Research Center analysis revealed women earned 84% of their male counterparts’ earnings. The gap is even deeper for Black and Latina women, who respectively earn 65% and 59% of white men’s earnings. This is not recent news, as the gender pay gap, as we ‘ve traditionally known it, has not changed much in the last 15 years. However, there is an another part of the gender pay gap we don’t often think of or talk about. It’s the equity compensation gap.
The Journal of Applied Psychology recently published a study which found a gap in equity-based compensation awards between genders ranging from 15 to 30%. This equity compensation gap closely mirrors the gender pay gap, taking into account a 20% pay gap in the United States and an estimated 17% gap in Europe. According to an analysis of venture-backed companies’ equity by Carta including over 6,000 companies and 15,000 founders, women were found to hold only 20% of equity despite constituting 35% of equity holding employees. For every dollar owned by male employees, female employees holding equity own just 47 cents. At the founder level, it was found while women make up 13% of startup founders, they only hold 6% of their companies’ equity. For every dollar of equity owned by male founders, female founders only own 39 cents.
While many businesses are striving to address the gender pay gap, they may not be addressing the gap in equity-based awards. As equity-based awards are incentives to retain employees, it can be inferred female employees are not seen as valuable as their male counterparts. Another inference is that women may not be able to build wealth as men do.
Among the factors contributing to the noted gender disparities in equity compensation, is the misinformation or lack of information among employees as related to equity compensation.
To remedy this, here are three ways women can reduce, and possibly eliminate the equity compensation gap:
Talk to trusted colleagues and peers
Male employees often have access to career-related information women may not access, due to not belonging to the same circles. Much of this information points them towards what to negotiate for. This is why it’s important for women to create and nurture their social networks, and talk to trusted peers and colleagues. This is all the more important as women tend to be negatively viewed when negotiating or asserting themselves at work.
Know what to negotiate for beyond salary compensation
Often, women come to the negotiation table without a clear understanding of equity and stock options’ value as related to their overall compensation. Too much emphasis is then put on salary, and not enough on other forms of compensation such as equity and stock options. Understanding this and knowing what (and how) to negotiate for, goes a long way towards reducing equity-based gender gaps.
Advocate for pay transparency
Pay transparency is not only beneficial to employees, but can also help employers identify and remedy existing gaps. As advocates for pay transparency, women can encourage a process whereby female employees have a better understanding of compensation and what to ask for, and where bias is minimized or removed entirely.
All in all, the gender pay gap is more layered and deeply ingrained in the compensation structure than most of us know or realize. Being aware of and proactive about the gender gap in equity compensation can help peel another layer of the pay gap onion, thus reducing the inequity plaguing women at work.
Were you aware of the gender equity gap? If so, how are you fighting it at your level?
In this episode, I delve into 3 tips to transition into the New Year as a woman at work. While we discussed setting goals in last episode, here we dig into the work to do to actually effectively cross the threshold from one year to the other at work.
Listen in!
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
New year, new transitions. While the rest of the world is busy setting goals it may or may not accomplish in the next twelve months, what is barely spoken about is the challenging need to transition from one year to the next. When it comes to work, this transition can be a rather daunting one, especially for many, if not most working women and moms taking into the new year increased responsibilities on the home and career front. As we’re still in the midst of an ever-growing pandemic, what with faltering childcare, a growing career “Great Resignation” phenomenon, and the constant debate around vaccinations, making it from one year to the next at work has become quite the difficult process.
As a working woman and mom, you may have felt the pressure of everything going around you, in addition to the usual pressure you normally face. I know I sure have…And while you may be caught up in the day-to-day haze of unending to-do’s and items to cross of your list, you may even not have given much thought of making a clean professional transition from last year. Yet, especially in the trying times we’re living in, it’s much needed. Every career year brings with it its weight of needed (and not-so-needed) changes, especially the last one we’ve been through. So much has changed, and is still bound to change, in the way we work and live, from the advent of remote work to the new rules of quarantine, that we cannot ignore the impact it has on our careers as we move into what feels like a new era…
If you’ve been contemplating the last year and are wondering about how to make the best of this transition at work, as so many of us are, here are some tips that may help:
Refresh your sense of purpose
If there ever is a time to refresh our sense of purpose in our careers, especially as working women and moms, it is certainly at the beginning of a new year, especially as we close a previous difficult one. It’s the opportunity to start again with a fresh slate, a fresher sense of who we are and what we want out of our work.
What are the areas and activities that truly bring you fulfillment? What are those tasks that bring your energy levels up instead of draining you? Where do you find yourself come alive? What parts of your work tap into your natural gifts and talents? These are the areas, tasks and activities that, knowingly or unknowingly, are aligned with your sense of purpose. Reminding yourselves of these, or uncovering them for the first time, can help re-awaken the purpose inside of you and guide you to seek to incorporate more of these into your current work, or move towards work that includes them.
You can also ask these questions of those around you who may provide you with an insight you may not have yourself.
Honestly assess the prior year
Your career is a living, breathing process that is supposed to evolve from year to year. However, this evolution can only occur when you’re willing to honestly assess the past as you move towards the future of your career. This requires you to connect the dots from year to year, asking yourself simple yet deeply revealing questions such as:
How did you feel about the last year of your career? (fulfilled, drained, overwhelmed, satisfied…etc)
What worked well?
What didn’t work so well?
Was last year aligned with your sense of purpose as described above?
These are also questions to ask of those around you at work, including your management and team. You can also consult your performance review for insights into these from others’ perspectives.
Now connect the dots…
Refreshing your sense of purpose and honestly assessing the last year of your career will help you connect the dots as the to the future of your career.
What needs to change?
Based on your sense of purpose and the last year of your career, how are you defining career success in this season? What would you need to do to achieve your own definition of career success, in your current or in a different role?
These three steps to transition from one career to another may seem simple, yet are loaded with information and insights to help you successfully move from one season of your work to another. Most importantly, they will help you set the appropriate, meaningful and purposeful goals for yourself in this new season.
