by Solange Lopes | Oct 31, 2017 | Find A Job You Love, Find Your Purpose
This is THE question, right? When it comes to your career, or even your life in general, the big question mark is this one: Pursue what you love or be safe and go for the job that actually pays the bills? The more you advance in life and acquire things (read: mortgage, cars, shoes and purses you don’t need), and the more people you’re responsible for, the more it seems you should settle for the latter option.
Some of you may not even be sure what your passion really is, or if you even have one. Others wouldn’t know where to start to tap into their passions, skills and talents. And for the rest, well, they may just be too tired to even begin the whole process of answering this question.
I know I’ve asked myself the question countless times, and at times, I still do. I was raised in a conservative, single-parent household run by my single mom in Senegal. My siblings and I grew up with a clear understanding that if we wanted to make it in this life, we’d have to go for stability. Forget the big adventure of following our passions.
Why do so few of us take the time to figure it out?
In college, I was always looking at other students taking a sabbatical year or a year abroad with a mix of wonder and envy. How could they even afford to take some time off to explore their wants, or take some time to reflect? There were degrees to be had, jobs to be held, money to be made, bills to be paid…And shoes to be bought occasionally too…
Especially as an immigrant, I never thought there was room, time or space to devote to anything else than working and building a stable nest. Pursuing talents, skills and passions was for rich kids with trust funds, or those who roamed freely on the surface of this Earth with no sense of obligation or duty. For the rest of us, there were responsibilities, commitments and obligations galore to attend to. From making rent to making our families proud, it was all about doing the “right, sensible thing, and making money in the process.
Is Money All There is?
Money was the big equalizer, that financial equilibrium that could bring us closer to our dreams. After all, if you didn’t have money, how could you find fulfillment on an empty stomach? Yet, as the reality of daily started to settle in, it felt like no matter how materially satisfied we may be, that didn’t necessarily equate with fulfillment. Actually, the more materially satisfied we are without pursuing what really matters to us, the more depleted we tend to feel.
So What Makes Us Start Thinking Differently?
Then, as close friends and family members leave this life, the reality that we’re not going to be here forever hits us in squarely in the face. We start understanding that time, and not money, is our most precious commodity. That there may very well be a reason why we were put on this Earth, and are given the privilege to wake up and keep breathing every single day.
Should we just forego all idea of stability?
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in stability. Stability is good. Safety is comforting. I love the idea of a full bank account, a prolific retirement account and the security of having more than enough. Yet at some point between losing people I dearly love and realizing my own mortality, I started believing more in actually enjoying life. Not in a desperate, “let-me-get-all-I-can-while-I’m-here” kind of way. But in a purposeful, intentional way that says “I know I’m here for a reason. I know I was created for a purpose, and I need to find out why and go do that.”
So maybe more of us should be taking that year off in college to travel the world, or just think about what we really want out of life. Maybe it’s not a luxury just reserved for the trust fund kids, or those who roam freely on the surface of this Earth. Maybe taking the time to know who we are and why we are here is actually a necessity.
This doesn’t mean that we should quit our jobs tomorrow and go sailing on the Mediterranean seas. Or that we shouldn’t worry about stable incomes, debt repayment and keeping our credit scores intact. What this means is that as we make a living, we should also make a life. That money is important, but should not be the ultimate priority of our life journeys.
What should we do then?
So should you pursue what you love or keep a stable job? If you’re asking yourself the question today, you should do neither right away. What you can do is stop, take a deep breath and answer the following questions for yourself:
- Are you fulfilled?
Really fulfilled, as in, waking up with this sense of being full and overflowing of the goodness of this life. Or are you heavy, burdened with responsibilities, and dreading the day/month/year ahead?
No one other than you knows the answer to this question, and no one can help you answer it. This is where you look inward and be honest with yourself about how you feel.
- Why are you here?
Purpose is not an illusion, it’s a reality. I believe we all have a purpose, a reason to be. Or many for that matter. What’s yours? Why are you here?
This is a tough question to answer, unless you have a vision and goals for your life. If you don’t, take some time to explore the activities and things that bring you the most joy and peace. You’ll find your answer.
- What do you need to get there?
It’s one thing to realize that you are or are not fulfilled enough. Or to take hold of what your purpose is. However, we live in a practical world that requires you to devise a plan to get to wherever you may be going.
What will you need to achieve your purpose and find fulfillment? What does that mean for you spiritually, emotionally, relationship-wise and financially? Determine if it will require you to save more money, leave some relationships, address some gaps in your personality, and start tackling these one at a time.
Now your turn: Do you believe you should pursue what you love or keep a stable job?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
by Solange Lopes | Oct 30, 2017 | Find A Job You Love
V-Neck Midi Dress – Photo credit: nordstromrack.com
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
There are few things more structured and polished than this plaid V-neck midi dress from Nordstrom Rack, perfect for the office and after-hours. The stand-up collar adds a nice touch of sophistication to this otherwise classic midi dress, while the plaid pattern is perfect for Fall. The cap sleeves and elegant length are comfortable enough to make this a workwear favorite! This dress is available in sizes 2 to 16, and is on sale for $79.97 at Nordstrom Rack.
In a similar style, I also like this Betsey Johnson diamond-embossed dress.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 27, 2017 | Career
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
- Black Enterprise lists 7 business grants to help women launch and grow their startups;
- The Daily Muse lists 10 amazing companies hiring right now;
- Glassdoor lists 11 companies that will pay for your vacation;
- Ellevate Network shares the painful but rewarding journey of starting a business;
- Business Insider reveals that millenial workers care most about highest salaries;
- Recruiter shares that dealing with difficult co-workers can help you improve your performance;
- Ellevate Network tips you off on finding your calling when you don’t know what you want;
- Looking for small business ideas? Recruiting Blogs shares 4 ideas you can start working on under a month;
- WhoWhatWear shares 5 style habits that will make you look more professional;
- Food52 has tricks to clean your home in 30 minutes or less.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 25, 2017 | Career
If you’ve ever found yourself wishing for more hours in the day, then you know that time is one precious commodity. Even more than money, time allows us to pursue our goals, live fulfilling lives and ultimately fulfill our purpose.
Not managing your time effectively can prevent you from accomplishing your goals, whether it’s through procrastination, distractions or endless planning. This in turn creates less balance, more stress and a general sense of frustration in our lives.
While a number of distractions are caused by apps, there are some out there that can actually help us manage our time more efficiently. Here are 7 apps that can help you create more time through the power of organization and focus:
- Workflow
Do you spend too much time on the same tasks every day. Workflow can help you create shortcuts so you can batch a number of tasks on your phone instead. It helps you create customized workflows to perform tasks such as pulling directions for an event, for instance. There are over 200 actions and integrations with and between apps such as YouTube, Uber and Facebook.
- Wunderlist
Does your to-do list look like a gigantic pile of deadlines, half-confirmed meetings and other open items? If so, Wunderlist can help.
This to-do list app actually helps you collaborate with friends, family and colleagues by allowing you to share your goals, assign tasks, due dates and reminders. It keeps your family, friends and team in the loop, while helping you remember important deliverables.
- Rescue Time
Spending too much time online? Rescue Time analyzes your online activity, and provides you precious feedback as to where you spend your time online. This is a great way to uncover the activities that are making you waste time, and actually block them.
You can get alerts when you spend too much time online, while also helping you focus on spending your time more effectively.
- Timely
Do you tend to under-estimate, or over-estimate, how long certain tasks are going to take you? Timely is a great tool to help you plan your week ahead of time, as you estimate how much time it will take you to complete your tasks. You’re then able to compare your own forecast with the reality and adjust your schedule accordingly.
It’s a great tool to keep you and your team on track, while holding you accountable to complete your goals.
- Pocket
If you’re a fan of saving links and content online, Pocket will save you enormous amounts of time. Instead of being thrown off by a great piece of content, this app allows you to save it so you can read it later.
It stops you from getting distracted, while making it easy and practical to save new content.
- Break Free
Break Free is another app that lets you control your digital life by helping you understand how you spend your time on your phone. This app monitors how much time you spend on the apps on your phone, and sends you a reminder when you exceed your “allowable” time on any of them.
- Cozi
If you have a hard time getting your family life organized, in between getting the trash out, dropping off the kids to soccer or shopping for groceries, then this app is for you. It stores all your information in one place, including your to-do list, calendar, journal and shopping list, which can be shared with the whole family.
Which apps do you use to manage your time more effectively?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 23, 2017 | Career
Workwear: Striped Midi Sheath Dress – Photo credit: target.com
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
This striped midi sheath scuba dress from Target is the perfect compromise between ’60s cool and modern appeal. I love how the horizontal and diagonal black and white stripes flatter any silhouette, while adding chic originality to this design. The midi length keeps it classic and professional, from the work meeting to happy hour. It’s available from sizes 4 to 14, and is $49.99 at Target.
Striped Midi Sheath Scuba Dress
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 23, 2017 | Career, Find A Job You Love
Being a woman of color in the workplace comes with many challenges. One of these is the almost constant tendency to be uncomfortable at work. When you’re the only woman of color in the room, when others may not give you the credit you deserve or you may be overlooked entirely, it can be easy to shy away from being your best self at work.
Remember the scene in Something New, when Sanaa Lathan, who works as a corporate finance manager at a top Fortune 500 company, gets overlooked by rich, white clients because she happens to be a Black woman? This scene is one that many women of color face, and live, on a daily or at least frequent basis at work. As a result, we may start internalizing this fear of putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations by speaking up or even being noticed in the workplace.
It takes tremendous effort to keep showing up as our best selves in environments in which we may not be valued or overlooked, especially in professional ones. We may want to go above and beyond to prove our worth, or on the very contrary, recede in the confines of our cubicles or offices and remain quiet. Many times, I chose the latter. I know I’m not the only one…
Instead of beating ourselves up, accept the status quo or burn ourselves out to prove our worth, here are a few ways we can beat our fear of being uncomfortable as women of color at work:
-
Acknowledge the fear
The struggle is real, and so is the fear! The first step to challenge your fears is to acknowledge them. You’re not imagining things, neither do you need to beat yourself up for feeling the fear of facing uncomfortable professional situations. Recognize how you’re feeling and make peace with where you’re at professionally, mentally and emotionally at the moment. Instead of putting yourself down for it, accept it and be open to challenge it!
-
Stop taking it personal!
Taking things personal at work doesn’t help solve them, in the very contrary. Your career is more important than personal considerations, so resist the temptation to take uncomfortable settings and situations personal. Instead, take your focus off of the people involved and start asking yourself what YOU can do to go beyond your own fears and turn the pain into lessons.
Every challenge we face is meant to teach us something about ourselves, and help provide us with the inspiration to create solutions. How are your professional challenges motivating you to beat the fear of being uncomfortable? Once you start answering this question, you’ll be on your way to turning your fear into progress.
-
Do one “small” thing every day to challenge it!
The concrete walls we tend to face as women of color at work can make us feel powerless. One of the reasons for this, is that we may try to solve all the issues we’re facing all at once. There are too many existing systemic and organizational challenges for us to be able to address them all.
Rather, it’s a matter of asking ourselves how we can chip at these issues, one day at a time, starting with ourselves. You know what they say about eating an elephant, one bite at a time, right? What is the smallest thing you can do to address your fear? Can you speak up once during the meeting today? Can you volunteer for a challenging opportunity in the next 30 days? Identify the smallest step you can take today, tomorrow and in the future and act on it!
-
Speak up and Tell your truth
It can be hard to face your truth as a woman of color at work, let alone sharing it with others in the workplace. Yet without telling our stories and letting our truths be known, others around us may not be able to understand what we’re going through. In order for better communication to take place around the challenges faced by women of color at work, there must be a conversation taking place.
This is not about making a litany of complaints to whoever wants to hear. Neither is it about confronting every issue at work. What this is about is being willing to clearly articulate, in a constructive yet firm way, our desire to understand and minimize the obstacles in our way.
It’s about saying that you wanted the promotion and do not understand why you didn’t get it. Are you following up with your management to obtain the feedback you need in order to advance? Are you clearly sharing your expectations, even when they’re being overlooked over and over again? Are you asking the difficult questions rather than shrinking back out of fear?
-
Stop hiding!
Is the fear of being uncomfortable as a woman of color at work keeping you hidden in your cubicle or office? Are you avoiding strategic meetings or shrinking in the back of the room for fear of being judged? Are you not making your voice being heard because the cost may outweigh the benefits?
If you’re invisible, silent or both, then your power to effect change for yourself and others is seriously diminished. Overcoming your fear as a woman of color at work also means coming out of hiding. It means making your contributions known, advocating for yourself as you ask others to advocate for you.
-
Keep showing up
Don’t just show up once or twice, keep showing up each and every day! This means sitting at the front of the meeting room at every meeting. It also means asking for opportunities over and over, long after you’ve been told no the first time. The more you keep showing up, the less fear you feel, and the more you can start turning the tables around you.
This is about persistence and continued effort, at all levels of your career. It’s also about making sure you have the right mindset and stamina to keep showing renewed effort and vigor on a daily basis.
-
Encourage another woman of color
Sometimes, the best way to address a fear we have is to help someone who may be experiencing the same fear. Encourage another woman of color who may be going through the same issues silently. This is not about creating a new “complaint department”, but rather using each other as a source of inspiration, strength and motivation.
How do you overcome your fear of being uncomfortable as a woman of color at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
by Solange Lopes | Oct 20, 2017 | Career
Steve Madden Lancer Sneakers – Photo credit: nordstrom.com
Are there sneakers you can actually wear to work? Well, it’s now officially acceptable to wear sneakers to work, especially on casual Fridays (but you may want to check with your dress code, just in case). If you’re wondering how to take a break from your high heels without looking unprofessional, while still being able to rock your “sneaks”, there are options!
I like these sneakers that combine both feminine appeal with functional style:
Heart Sneakers – Photo credit: asos.com
These PUMA heart sneakers from ASOS mix sports and fashion in a clean, streamlined design. And the heart design, just too cute! They’re $111 at ASOS.
Ace-studded embellished sneakers – Photo credit: matches fashion.com
These Gucci ace-stud-embellished sneakers from Matches Fashion are perfect for the fashionista in you. I love my pearls and having them on my sneakers just makes me happy ! These are $670 at Matches Fashion.
Steve Madden Lancer Sneakers – Photo credit: nordstrom.com
These Steve Madden Lancer from Nordstrom sneakers are just the perfect mix of athleisure, comfort and style on those casual days at work! The mid-top style is edgy and modern, yet still appropriate for the office. These are $69.95 at Nordstrom.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
