by Solange Lopes | Feb 9, 2018 | Career
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 8, 2018 | Career
“Enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going.”
This is one of my favorite quotes from leading Bible teacher and New York Times best-selling author Joyce Meyer. It’s also the title of her book of the same name “Enjoying where you are on the way to where you are going: learning how to live a joyful spirit-led life“. It’s a precept I’ve had to remind myself of many a times, when I’d be tempted to complain about my job at the time. It wouldn’t be much different from what so many employees do at work: complaining and being unhappy about their current job. While there can be serious reasons why one may be dissatisfied at work, there are also ways to learn to love the job you’re in right now.
In the era of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and Instagram flat lays, the general impression is that the next person has it better than us. While fake entrepreneurs are flaunting fake lavish lifestyles on social media, others are claiming to have outstanding careers we know nothing about. All this is contributing to creating a climate of constant dissatisfaction for many, in life and at work.
Yes, most of us are looking to progress and advance, in our careers and/or businesses. After a certain time, we may tend to get stuck in a professional or business rut, albeit temporarily. While we’re striving to get the promotion, the business deal, or the next opportunity, we can be tempted to despise our current professional station. Which in turn can lower the quality of our work, decrease morale, and infect us with a general sense of doom and gloom. Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are a few ways to enjoy your job even if you don’t like it:
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Practice career or business gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most powerful success tools at our disposal. The more grateful you are, the more you attract the things, people, and events that will increase this sense of gratitude. Consider looking at your career or business with a new lens by identifying the positive rather than the negative.
What is working well at your job or business? What do you enjoy at work? How is your job benefitting you? For some, it may only be getting your paycheck, which also allows you to pay your bills, and indulge every now and then. For others, it may their work relationships. Whatever it is, acknowledge it on a daily basis and express gratitude for it.
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Foster positive relationships at work
Positive relationships have the potential to make any environment more beneficial, including work. The more positive your relationships at work, the more likely you will be to enjoy your workplace, and the more motivated you may be.
Stay away from such negativity as gossiping and backbiting, which can end up backfiring on you. Instead, strive to build honest, positive relationships that can nurture you and help you improve at work and in life.
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Use your paycheck to pursue a goal or passion
One of the obvious benefits of any job is getting a regular paycheck. Investing some of this money to pursue what you love can really help you enjoy your job. While you may be striving to reach another level in your career or business, having the ability to use your earnings to do what you love can make all the difference.
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Go above and beyond
This may sound counter-intuitive, but actually going above and beyond in your job can fill you with a positive sense of achievement. While many of us may think of doing the bare minimum at a job we don’t really love, the opposite can reap bigger rewards.
Consider showing excellence in your work, as well as volunteering for complex projects. The more engaged you are in your job, the more opportunities may be opening up to you.
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Reward yourself
It can be challenging to work at a job you don’t love, especially if the circumstances are hard to deal with. Don’t forget to reward yourself as you keep giving your best at work.
What other tips would you add to this list?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 7, 2018 | Career
For many of us working women, speaking up and expressing our opinions in the workplace is a challenge. From doubting our own abilities to fearing what others may think about us, we tend to refrain from expressing ourselves fully in the workplace. As a result, many women run the risk of not being considered management or leadership material, be passed over for promotions, or flat-out ignored at work.
I, like so many other working women, would know. Through countless conversations with fellow colleagues and friends, it was apparent that one common fear among us is to speak up at work. I would literally get paralyzed at the thought of raising my voice in a meeting or conference. The false anticipation that I may be ridiculed, laughed at, or that my ideas may not be valid or discounted, would keep me from sharing my otherwise valuable insights. I believe I missed many opportunities because of my silence. I know I’m not the only one…
Hindsight being 20/20, I now realize there are many things I could have done to fight the fear of speaking up, even as a woman of color at work. Despite the difficulties or opposition you may face as a woman at work, you can train yourself to muster the courage to speak up. Here are a few ways to do so:
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Understand the source of your fear of speaking
For many, if not most of us, the fear of speaking up at work stems from our own feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. We may fear sounding ridicule, or that our contributions may be mocked. Instead of taking what we perceive to be a risk, we shrink, letting others take the credit for our work and claiming ideas we thought of first.
Understanding the source of your fear can help you tackle it in a more effective way. Are you feeling inadequate because you’re the only woman in the room? Do large meetings make you uncomfortable or nervous? Did you grow up with a sense of inadequacy? Ask yourself the hard questions, and get to the root of your fear.
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Change your internal dialogue
Once you’ve understood the source of your fear, it’s time to work on your internal dialogue. Track the negative thoughts such as “I am not smart enough”, “I am not qualified enough”, “I’m too young”, “I’m too old”. Instead of replaying this negative dialogue in your head, consider replacing these thoughts by positive ones, such as: “I am capable”, “I am qualified”, “I can do all things”.
The more you hear yourself say positive things about yourself, the more you tend to believe it. It unfortunately also works in the reverse.
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Prepare ahead of time
Preparing ahead of time and rehearsing before a meeting, presentation or other event you may have to speak up at, can go a long way. Before every meeting you are to attend, consider brainstorming and jotting down at least three (3) ideas you can contribute to the conversation. If you have the time, practice sharing these ideas by recording yourself, until you are satisfied with the way you sound. You may also do the same if you have an upcoming presentation.
The more you prepare yourself and get in the habit of speaking up, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Don’t hesitate to take your time so you can actually overcome your fear of speaking up.
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Join public speaking organizations or groups
Public speaking organizations such as Toastmasters International can be a tremendous help when it comes to speaking up at work. By providing a supportive and positive learning experience for you to develop your communication and leadership skills, they help you hone in on your speech and public speaking skills.
Within your own company, there may be other communication and leadership groups that can also assist you with this. Keep your eye open for events and opportunities teaching public speaking skills as well.
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Get support
Don’t be too proud not to ask for support if you’re struggling with speaking up at work. You can get an accountability partner to encourage and support you as you work on developing your public speaking skills. Similarly, you may decide to add speaking up at work, as one of your goals on your performance review.
In any case, don’t shy away from getting the support you need to improve this area of your performance.
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Reward yourself
Last but not least, don’t forget to reward yourself for overcoming your fear of speaking up. I used to treat myself to a new book every time I would make a significant contribution to a meeting. For an introvert like myself, mustering the courage to speak up was always encouraging.
How do you muster the courage to speak up at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 6, 2018 | Career
Workwear: Fit and Flare Dress – Photo credit: amazon.com
This Maggy London twin basket weave stripe matte jersey dress with a fit and flare pleated skirt from Amazon is perfect for a day at the office. The contemporary colors contrast nicely with the traditional fit and flare silhouette, while the 3/4 sleeves are perfect to transition from winter to spring. This dress is $138 at Amazon, and is available in sizes 2 through 16.
In a similar style, I also like this Lark & Ro lace option, which is a lower priced alternative.
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 6, 2018 | Career |
You know that feeling that overtakes you every time you’re getting close to achieving a goal or objective? That sudden need to procrastinate, the urge to collect all possible negative thoughts about yourself and whatever project you’re working on at the moment? These are all signs that you’re about to sabotage yourself.
Many, if not most of our goals in life, career or business, get unfinished because we tend to sabotage ourselves in the process. We may set the most effective, realistic and functional goals, and still come up short. This is not for lack of skill, motivation or even aptitude. It’s simply because of self-destructive behaviors that keep us from taking action towards our goals and dreams.
I’ve struggled with procrastination quite a bit because I couldn’t recognize the self-sabotage behind my sudden drops in motivation and drive. It took me a while to recognize that one of the hardest battles I would have to wage would be against my own self, to stop destroying my own efforts. For many of us, it stems from a fear to succeed, which is often stronger than the fear of failure.
Here are a few ways to cut to the chase and stop sabotaging yourself in life and at work:
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START with understanding your self-sabotage patterns
Everyone has different patterns in life and at work. Often, we fail to recognize when we’re self-sabotaging, because it feels comfortable and routine to do so. For most of us, there are specific areas in which we often unconsciously ruin our own efforts.
Review the different areas of your life and work, and start identifying the ones in which you’re practicing self-sabotage. It may be in your finances, career, relationships or health. The fact that you’re sabotaging yourself in any of these areas means that you may be struggling with some form of anger, shame, or sense of not being worthy enough.
Interestingly enough, as much as I love writing, I realized that the fear of failure would paralyze my writing efforts and make me less productive. It became clear that I was scared of being rejected, or looking ridicule because of my writing. It was only when I could face this truth about myself that I was able to fight my negative patterns and progress in my writing.
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STOP delaying
One of the most prevalent effects of self-sabotage is constant delaying. You may find that you put off tasks to the next day, and let negative thoughts paralyze you into inaction. For instance, procrastinating before an important meeting, or leaving a crucial assignment to the last minute, is a clear sign of self-sabotage.
Instead, consider tackling your to-do’s as soon as you can, instead of postponing them to a later time. The more you impose this to yourself, despite the negative thoughts and patterns you may be subject to, the more you will fight your tendency to self-sabotage.
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START facing your feelings
For many of us, facing the feelings of unworthiness, shame or anger that lead us to self-sabotage is a no-no. Instead, we tend to suppress them, pretending they don’t exist. As a result, our negative and self-destructing behaviors continue, ruining our best efforts in the process.
It takes a lot of courage to admit to oneself our fears and failures. However, it’s the only way to address them and fight them successfully. I had to admit to myself, and others around me, that I was afraid to be ridiculed because of my love for writing, or for being an introvert. Yet, the minute I could face these fears, I was free to recognize and address these demons. Once you know your areas of improvement, no one can hold them against you.
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STOP dwelling on the past
So many of us are still prisoners of our past, especially when we feel like we’ve failed or haven’t measured up to some ideal we had for ourselves. Instead of focusing on the present, we stay in “If only” land, playing and replaying failed scenarios.
You can’t start over with a clean slate if you keep replaying the past. You have to be able to move on, and make peace with whatever has happened. A great trick is to write yourself a letter in which you forgive yourself for any and everything you’re still holding against yourself, or others. And move on, once and for all..
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START journaling
Journaling is a powerful way to spot those instances when your mind start bullying you and you fall into the self-sabotage trap. I find that expressing my thoughts in a free and unrestrained way, allows me to free myself of the mental and emotional baggage we all carry.
Just remember there are no rules to journaling. You can write freely and express yourself unabashedly. While it may be intimidating at first, it will help you release some of the negative thoughts and emotions you may be feeling. You’ll start seeing more clearly where your blocks are, so you can address them better.
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STOP comparing yourself to others
Comparison is really the thief of joy. It’s also one of the biggest ways in which we sabotage ourselves. Instead of being motivated to do better, we tend to feel unworthy or inadequate. By comparing, you limit your own beauty, effectiveness and potential.
Identify those areas in which you tend to compare yourself with others, and face them head on. If social media or certain relationships trigger you to compare yourself to others and feel less than, consider distancing yourself from them. Focus on YOU and the unique gifts and abilities YOU have been given.
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START speaking kindly to yourself
Faith comes by hearing. It also means that what you say to yourself, you tend to believe. Start speaking more kindly to yourself, and honoring the positive about you, instead of emphasizing the negative.
Start observing how you talk to yourself, whether through your own mental chatter or through the words you use about yourself. You’ll start noticing how unloving you can be towards yourself. We all are. Begin to consciously turn negative thoughts and words into more positive chatter, and watch the difference.
How do you stop self-sabotage in your life and work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 5, 2018 | Career |
While we celebrate Black History Month all year long, the month of February reminds us of the role of African-Americans in history. Part of it is also to recognize the outstanding role that Black women have, and still do, play through their fight against adversity and bias. It’s their resilience and power through history that reminds us of our own power and gives us the inspiration to keep pushing.
As we celebrate Black History every day, here are 13 inspirational quotes from pioneer Black women to keep us motivated:
What are your favorite quotes by Black women?
To Your Success,
The Corporate SIs.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 2, 2018 | Career
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Here’s to your success!
The Corporate Sister
