New Year Same Me: 18 Life and Work Lessons I learnt in 2018

by Solange Lopes | Jan 10, 2019 | Career

I love new beginnings, of years, relationships, creations, or carb-loaded family meals. They’re a good time to start fresh, but also to gather the experiences and lessons that have brought us to this point. Like when you start writing a new book and gather all your sources from past research, events and even entire existences…Or when you put together the ingredients to your favorite desserts from your old grand-mama’s recipes with a Pinterest twist here and there…

For me, this past year was no exception. 2018 was all about learning, transitions and work, on purpose. Here are 18 of them, as we close 2018 and jump into 2019:

• Working on Purpose makes all the difference!

One of the biggest revelations I’ve had is that there is a difference between working to work, and working on purpose. That is, doing work that answers a calling, work that doesn’t let you wait until you snooze the alarm clock about 20 times before getting up, work that re-energizes you instead of depleting you. I could clearly see the difference between mornings when I dragged myself out of bed to make it to work before, and mornings now, when I look forward to starting my day. Days that no longer end with a draining sense of fatigue, but with a sense of being re-energized despite the fatigue (we’re human after all)…

We’re often taught that we must work to pay bills, take care of ourselves and others, buy nice stuff or just to keep a roof over our heads. What we’re not taught is that work is part of what makes us whole; that in order to leverage its power, we owe it to ourselves to not just partake in the process, but create and enjoy our own work process. It’s not just about loving what you do, but about tapping into your maximum potential, being as effective as you can be and becoming the best version of yourself in the process.

• Your mindset is key

As I made the big leap from one career to entrepreneurship and to an entirely different career, I had the opportunity (and the shock) to realize how powerful our mindsets are. This is not just about implementing empowering mantras, or adopting some daily meditation practice, although these are powerful aids as well…

Rather, for me, it was about coming face-to-face with the full realization that I have been creating my reality all along. Through the sometimes negative words I spoke over myself and my work and life, through my lack of gratitude and less than optimistic outlook at times… I also realized that once you change the story you tell yourself about yourself, your work and your life in general, not only does your perspective shift positively, but your actual results do as well…

• Do not resist closed doors

How many of us leave jobs without really leaving them, rehashing the negative aspects of past experiences we tend to take into new opportunities? How many times do we leave relationships only to hold on to the heavy baggage that came with it? Or hold on to past failures, only to weigh ourselves down as we start new ventures?

What I learnt this past year was to not resist some doors closing, but to release the baggage that came with it. For me, it meant releasing past jobs, business ventures and partnerships that weren’t for me, places and even schedules that didn’t allow me to tap into my peak performance level. For you, it may mean letting go of the old job, the failed business, the less-than-ideal relationships, the disastrous launches, so you can take the lessons and actually have a chance to start anew, in a better place…

• No experience is wasted

Changing careers has taught me a powerful lesson about no wasted experiences. We often think that we run the risk of losing all the experiences and bonuses we’ve acquired over time by starting fresh. So many of us hesitate to jump ship into a new career, launch the business, write the book, start a family, for fear that we would have wasted all the effort and knowledge we’ve put in so far…

On the contrary, I found myself using skills I had acquired all along through my academic path, my prior jobs, and even in the course of my personal and professional relationships, as I started fresh in entirely new domains. Nothing is really wasted, everything serves a purpose, if only to point you in the direction not to go in…

• Transitions are not as hard as you think

Transitions are not simple, in any area of work or life. Entire career transitions can actually be pretty complex. However, all in all, it’s never quite as bad as we picture them to be…

As a matter of fact, transitions are necessary, unless we force ourselves to stay still and not evolve or progress. 

My own career transitions required quite some time and some serious dose of chocolate and caffeine, I’m not going to lie. However, what it was not was impossible or out of reach, as I had previously thought, and this even with not as much advance preparation as I would have liked. While you should plan a transition ahead of time, life sometimes happens and you may have to adjust. It’s in the adjusting that you learn the most and have the power to turn the game in your favor…

• You’re allowed to start over

Speaking of transition, how many of you have dreamt of starting over, whether in a new job, a new business, relationship, or even environment? And how many have refrained from shaking the boat of convenience and comfort for fear of starting over?

I learnt that starting over, whether at work or in life, begins with giving yourself the permission to do so. The permission to make mistakes, get back up, risk losing a bit (or a lot), and create the life and work you really want for yourself…

• Prune your network

You already know how important your network is to your success, whatever your definition of success may be. You also know how detrimental the wrong network can be for you. What may be more challenging, personally and professionally, is to revisit it every now and then and have the courage to prune it so it can be as effective as possible…

I learnt that it’s ok to feel pangs of guilt when it comes to shifting relationships and networks, it’s only human. However, it’s necessary to re-evaluate relationships as you grow, evolve, change and progress, in all areas of your work and life…

• Support is overrated

One of the most sensitive questions I raised when going through my own personal and career transitions this past year was: “But who’s supporting me in my journey?” Thankfully, I’ve had precious family and friends to do so all along…

Yet, most importantly, what I’ve learnt is that the whole concept of support when it comes to our own personal and professional pursuits, is a bit overrated. That we are our best sources of support, and that what kills relationships is nothing more than excessive expectations. So what if your girlfriend doesn’t buy from you? Maybe your product is simply not up her alley, or maybe there are deeper issues to look into there…Whatever the case may be, none of us should allow the presence or absence of support to deter us from our purpose…

• Network effectively

I wrote earlier about the importance of networks and networking. Even for the most independent among us, we need people along the journey as we accomplish our goals and objectives. 

However, what I also realized as an entrepreneur, is that there is such a thing as ineffective networking. That answering to the call of every networking event or coffee break is a great way to scatter your energy and resources without producing any tangible results. As you consider your own networking efforts, ask yourself if they’re helping you to achieve your goals and objectives, and if there’s a mutual exchange happening. If the answer is no, you may want to reconsider…

• Stop listening to everyone

While you need people along your journey of success, what you don’t need is to listen to people who have not walked the path you’re treading on. Don’t get me wrong, you can certainly learn something valuable from everyone. 

Yet, what I’ve learnt is that I cannot afford to listen to everyone. If you’re called to create something new, walk your own path, and become the best version of yourself, your answer may not be in the Google or even in your sister’s best advice, for the simple reason that what you’re trying to do may not have been done yet…

• Trust your gut feeling

Intuition is a super-power, and you already may know it. Yet have you been using and listening to yours? Or have you been instead relying on the Google, your girlfriends’, or your mama’s advice entirely, at the expense of the promptings of your own gut feeling?

What I’ve learnt, especially while transitioning careers and as an entrepreneur, is that your intuition will tell you things no one else can. That more than anyone else, you know what is right for you, your career and/or your business. And that inner voice is part of your competitive advantage, and should not be ignored…

• Do what feels good

This may seem paradoxical advice, especially for us working women, who already start the day with a full to-do list and a heap of obligations to attend to. Yet, when we’re faced with a pile of things to do that don’t inspire us, we tend to proceed out of sense of obligation rather than celebration.

I’ve learnt that in order to celebrate and enjoy my work, as well as my life, it has to feel good. Not easy, but good. Not served on a silver platter with a mojito on the side, but good. Not handed to me as a free token of appreciation, but good. It has to spark interest and joy, along with a sense of fulfillment that keeps me going. And if it doesn’t, then I may have to find what does…

• Watch your environment

It’s challenging to thrive in an environment that is not ready to receive what you have to say, who you are and how you present yourself. So many of us complain that we’re not able to realize our full potential, yet do not take a second look at what we’re surrounded with…

I’ve learnt that sometimes, changing your environment changes your life. That stepping out of a toxic workspace, negative setting or abusive environment, can mean the difference between day and night when it comes to your progress and evolution as a person. 

• Self-care is an investment

There’s another seemingly paradoxical piece of advice. Self-care is often neglected and put to the side at the expense of “more important” obligations. Yet, what we don’t realize is that without it, our productivity, creativity and entire sense of being sink altogether. As a matter of fact, it’s an investment in our growth, well-being and wholeness. It can make the difference between being simply busy, and actually being productive and effective.

I’ve learnt to make self-care a priority, rather than an option relegated to the bottom of my to-do list. For me, it means making appointments with me, myself and I at the gym, at the brow lady, and on my favorite chair with a good book, as often as I can. Even if it means sliding down the bed at the crack of dawn in the morning, or missing my favorite show to make it to bed early enough. Not as a luxury, or even an indulgence, but as an effort to invest in the woman I’m becoming.

• Do not separate work and life, integrate them!

You know what they say” “Leave your work at work!” In the era of smartphones and laptops, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to separate work and life, especially for working moms juggling all kinds of responsibilities around the clock. For entrepreneurs, work is actually a lifestyle more than an activity with time boundaries. 

 Instead, what I’ve learnt to do is to integrate the two. As in fitting in some work during the kids’ naps while working from home, or getting up earlier to get a good head start before heading to a doctor’s appointment. While it can be challenging, it’s also the answer for many of us…

• Reframe failure

When transitioning careers, and through my entrepreneurial journey, I was tempted to believe that every mistake or mishap was a negative. Instead of taking failure as an opportunity to learn, I would allow it to stop my progress while I loaded up on chocolate and re-runs of Sex and the City.

I’ve learnt that failure is a necessary step in achieving success. If you don’t fail, you don’t progress. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. Once I reframed it as an opportunity to learn and move forward, I was finally able to stop stalling and move forward. As a mom, it also taught me to be more accepting of and patient with myself.

• Invest in yourself

I’ve had to learn that in order to reap results, I have to invest in myself. There were times when I didn’t think I could afford to buy the course, hire the coach or even putting the time and energy to update my skills. 

Yet, making a conscious effort to periodically and regularly make an investment of time, energy and money made all the difference. For me, it means regular self-care, as well as investing in books and courses that help me acquire new skills.

• Focus on the process of becoming

Last but not least, I’ve learnt to ask myself: “Is this getting me closer to the person I want to be?”, to guide my decisions in life and at work. Answering this question has allowed me to make the right decisions for my career, business and personal life, rather than focusing on other factors such as money for instance.

Now your turn: What work and life lessons have you gathered in 2018?