How many times have you switched from one task to the other, anxiously trying to get through your long to-do list as fast as you could? Or absent-mindedly listened to the kids, while furiously answering emails? Or almost dropped the phone in the dinner pot while talking your boss through a last-minute work snafu after-hours? I bet more than once…As working women and working moms spread thin between all our obligations and commitments, it may seem that we work all the time. We work at work, and then we work some more at home, most often switching back and forth between the two in an attempt to be more productive.
This is exactly the conversation I was having with my girlfriend the other day, as we both were complaining on our way to work about how much we had to do, all the time. There never seemed to be an end to what had to be done, accomplished, or finished.
According to this Michigan state study, women tend to multi-task 10 hours more than men do. Yet, abundant research shows that multi-tasking does not improve performance at all. It actually makes us more prone to making mistakes and being less efficient and effective. As a matter of fact, going from task to task not only makes us less productive, but it also hurts our creativity and memory. It’s also detrimental to our well-being in general, as we may tend to feel more overwhelmed and anxious.
As an ambitious overachiever with more ambition than actual stamina, I, like so many other working moms, was tired of burning the candle at both ends. After reading umpteen books about organization and productivity to no avail, squishing my to-do list every which way, and complaining to whoever was available to listen, I decided to give the whole “mindfulness” concept out. Being mindful is basically being more focused in the moment, which I could certainly use in the midst of the confusion around me. Thankfully, it’s a skill that can be learned and acquired over time through the practice of meditation for instance.
For me, it began with committing to a regular meditation practice. The simple act of focusing my attention on my breathing helped me increase my attention skills. Which in turn helped me focus more, so I could actually accomplish more in less time. The most challenging part was to consciously limit my multi-tasking tendencies. While I haven’t succeeded just yet at completely eliminating multi-tasking from my life and work just yet, I’m getting closer each day.
Here are a few of the ways mindfulness has changed my life and work as a working woman and mom, and can change yours too:
Being more present
“Mommy, are you here?”
When my son asked me this question on a day we were stuck at home due to a snow storm, as I was trying to fit in some work and brownie baking all at once, I had to stop for a minute. He was right. I wasn’t being present. I was trying to do too many things at once, botching both in the process, and getting more frustrated by the second. Now I try and ask myself as much as possible: “Am I here or am I trying to be in more than one place at once?”
While I apply this mostly at home, it has made a significant difference in my work as well, by refraining from multi-tasking. Instead, I choose to focus on one single task at a time, even if it may seem that it takes longer. The result? Better outcomes overall, less mistakes, and most importantly, more peace.
Practicing gratitude
We live in a culture that tends to value commiserating and complaining. After all, misery loves company, right? Wrong. A while ago, I saw some positivity campaign on social media advocating a 30-day no-complaining challenge, which I tried for the sake of it. Shall I mention that I barely made it through the first hour? I started realizing how much I had gotten used to not being grateful for everything I had.
The more I read about practicing gratitude and tried it myself, the more I could feel the benefits. Writing 5 or 10 things I ‘m grateful for makes a major difference in my day. Although my circumstances didn’t change much, neither did traffic or the state of humanity, it just felt better to be more appreciative. The better it felt, the better life and work felt. Interestingly enough, the better the results I got as well…
Focus on feeling good
This may sound counter-intuitive (at least it did to me in the beginning), but I believe it to be the key to success, whatever your definition of success may be. There’s power in positive energy and thoughts, and that’s exactly what feeling good is. The more I put myself in situations where I felt good instead of miserable, the more my thoughts would positively change. As a result, the more positive the results too…
Conversely, when not feeling well or dealing with challenging circumstances, going for a quick sweat session or run, putting on a funny movie, laughing with a friend, would change the trajectory of my day. Hence, the importance of doing what we love and surrounding ourselves with people who bring out the best in us.
I remember when I first dreamt of studying abroad as I was nearing the end of high school in my native Senegal. Despite being a stellar student and coming from a comfortable middle-class, single parent family, achieving my dream of an elite higher education, especially in the US and without the governmental assistance which had gone missing as I came up, seemed far-fetched. Like most of the intentions I would set in life…
I was always a dreamer. A Big dreamer at that. I guess that would be the predictable outcome of being an only child for the first 10 years of my life and developing too fertile an imagination as a result. But the question always was, where do I start? What do I do with all these big dreams?
As you’re contemplating your own BIG dreams, you may be asking yourself the same question. Where to start? What to build on? In the worst case scenario, or what you may perceive to be the worst case scenario, you may even ask yourself if you’ve got anything to build on. What if your dreams, goals and objectives seem to have nothing to do with your past or current reality? Maybe you have a dream of starting a business yet have no entrepreneurial background, come from a family of conservative bureaucrats and have been raised to be risk-adverse? What if your goal is to be financially free, despite being thousands in debt, not having any financial knowledge, and being your household’s sole provider?
I was ok starting where I was, but where I was did not look much like of a start. At least not in the direction I was aiming to go…Until a dear mentor of mine got me out of my own head and into the vast immensity of Possiblity we often all but ignore…
Any experience is a teacher. Make an inventory of what you’ve learnt
Look around you. Mark Zuckerbeg dropped out of college to start Facebook. Spanx founder Sara Blakely was working as a door-to-door salesperson before starting her multi-million dollar company. Everywhere, high school and college dropouts are starting businesses and changing the world. Moms are creating solutions to daily life problems the savviest of inventors could not come up with People with no formal training in a discipline are revolutionizing fields they had limited exposure to. And how is that happening?
These people are simply starting where they are. They’re gathering their own experience, their own education, personality, intuition and feelings, and drawing questions and answers from these. If you’re a mom, you know how to manage chaos, how to prioritize your tasks, what problems you face and possible solutions to these. You don’t need a formal degree to know these things. It’s part of your DNA. As a writer trained in business and accounting, I’ve gathered years of experience in both fields, to which I can add the fact that I speak different languages, am a mom and a wife, and navigate this world as an introvert. All these various part of my experience and personality make me uniquely skilled to tackle challenges and problems someone else could not.
What do you have in your experience, personality, journey, connections and all areas of your life that you can use? Look at how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve gathered in terms of skills, abilities, and knowledge. This also includes the failures, mishaps and mistakes…
That’s where you start…
Now look at re-purposing all that you’ve acquired
Managing a team at work is quite similar to managing an entire household without missing a beat, which moms do day in and day out. The same skills you may have used selling lemonade in your little stand at 4 or 5, will come in handy when you start your own business. The determination and perseverance you displayed after losing that job is what will keep you going after receiving that 20thletter of rejection from publishers.
It’s in my earliest days, in some of my hardest experiences, when I had no idea what I was doing, that I learnt the most. Those are the days of small beginnings that have taken me this far. When I start doubting my ability to continue, take on a challenge, or pursue my dreams, I go back and remember all that I have learnt. Most of the time, I find that I’ve been through a similar situation, and am able to re-use what I’ve learnt, whether positive or negative. Even failures are there to point me towards what I would rather manifest.
Can you remember experiences, events, skills that you may have buried in the back of your minds that you can re-use to serve your path forward? These do not have to be related to the filed you’re looking into, but can still be used,
Create a plan that is customized to you
The way you achieve your dreams and accomplish your goals and objectives is unique to you. This is precisely because you have been through experiences, accumulated knowledge and skills, and have a one-of-a-kind personality.
This is why there is no point comparing your process to anyone else’s. Your path is uniquely dependent on who YOU are.
As women of color at work, and frankly as any working woman or man, being in an inclusive professional environment can make a world of difference. But what is an inclusive workplace really? According to Linked In, an inclusive workplace is a “ working environment that values the individual and group differences within its workforce”.
If you are a woman of color, you know how important being in an environment, especially professionally, that values who you are and embraces your differences is. In other words, being in a place where you feel valued, integrated and welcome can be the catalyst to your productivity, efficiency, and most importantly, your overall happiness. There are countless studies that prove that a diverse and inclusive workforce is also one that is more productive and innovative. Employees tend to work better, and stay longer in these work environments as well. Not to mention the positive impact on employee well-being, health, as well as collaboration between co-workers.
So how does one recognize an inclusive workplace, especially as a woman of color? What if you are interviewing for a new, exciting position, and are not sure whether you’ll be stepping in an inclusive environment?
Although it can be challenging to recognize an inclusive workplace, there may be some signs you can pick up on early on:
Analyze the job description
Even before applying for a position and going through the interview process, you can tell a lot about a work environment by the company’s job descriptions. You can read a lot about your potential future place of work by the tone used, as well as the feel you get of the company culture. Does it seem that the language used seem to appeal to a particular gender? Do you notice a certain pattern when reading multiple job descriptions?
Check out the company’s website and social media presence
You can go one step further and navigate through the company’s website and social media sites. Companies committed to diversity and inclusion usually express it through their online presence. It’s also usually reflected in their values and mission statement.
Can you perceive that they’re committed to the community at large? Do they express their belief in creating a diverse workplace? Do you get a sense that you’d fit in?
Explore company reviews
You can also check out the reviews of the company, through sites like Glassdoor for instance. However, you may want to consider these reviews with a grain of salt, as they may present particular employee experience. For women in particular, the website InHerSightrates companies based on women’s reviews. You may also directly ask other employees who may have worked, or be working at this company, their personal and professional opinions.
Consider their benefits packages
Company benefits can also reveal quite a bit about a company’s efforts towards inclusiveness and diversity. Do their maternity leave benefits show they care about new parents? Are flexible schedules offered? How much vacation time is available? The answers to these questions may help you assess the inclusive nature, or lack thereof, of the business you may be considering working in .
Observe your interviewers
During the interview process, your interviewers may be a reflection of the company itself. Are you exposed to a diverse panel of interviewers? Do their questions and shared information reveal a lack of inclusiveness? Are they skipping the topic altogether?
Ask directly during interview process
You can also directly inquire during the interview about the company’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. Usually, at the end of the interview process, you have an opportunity to ask your own questions. At this point, it may be wise to ask about certain aspects of importance to you, such as flexibility, benefits and overall company culture.
Trust your gut
Last but not least, trust your gut and intuition. Before and during the interview process, you will get a sense of whether a certain company is a right fit for you or not. Take into account the way you feel as you make your decision.
Whether you’re gearing up for a new position, jumping ship into a new career entirely, or preparing for an upcoming interview, half of the battle is showing up, and showing up well. Which brings about how you dress and your professional wardrobe. You’ve heard the saying before: “Dress for the job you want”. Yet, in the midst of work obligations, business calls, and family to-do’s, focusing on your wardrobe can be a stretch.
I used to consider investing in my professional wardrobe as a non-priority item on my to-do list. Shopping for conservative suits and elegant blouses was not quite as fun as foraying into the latest fashion trends around. It also explains why revamping my professional wardrobe was always put on the back burner. Yet, as I switched careers, and also became an entrepreneur, I found myself in front of audiences as a speaker, which forced me to re-consider how I dressed, and what dressing for the job I want really means for me. With two kids in tow, a household to manage, and not enough time to get everything done, I was left with solving the dilemma of dressing for the jobs I wanted, on a budget and without too much unnecessary headache.
Considering my shopping trips are now limited for fear of having the whole department store on lockdown because my son wants to play hide and seek, and the significant decrease in my patience genes post-babies, I’ve had to find a system. I no longer wanted to hide from my kids and spend hours at the mall fishing for something professional yet fun. Neither was I attracted by the prospect of
Here are some tips for any busy, time-starved, on a budget working woman and mom to put a fresh spin into your professional wardrobe:
Rent!
Got a special work event and nothing to wear? Or maybe you’re just tired of your same old work outfits, and want a change without the commitment of buying? You can rent work styles at Rent-the-Runway, ranging from distinctive knit dresses to polished tops.
Get it personalized!
Did you know that you can get your professional wardrobe personalized to your taste and office dress code? Companies like MM.LaFleurhelp you do just that! After you answer a few questions aroud your style and office dress code, MM.LaFleurbuilds your personalized Bento box, which consists in an assortment of work clothing put together for you. Once you receive your Bento box, you can decide what to keep and what to return.
Clean up your current wardrobe
First things first, take a look at your current work wardrobe. Is it packed with clothing you haven’t worn in the past six months? One of my cardinal fashion rules nowadays is: “If I haven’t worn it in the past six months, it’s got to go.” It’s helped me clear out the clutter (hello Marie Kondo), while being able to have a clearer picture of what I actually own. I was surprised to find out that in the middle of my wardrobe mess, there actually were some beautiful pieces I couldn’t even see before.
Invest in basics
You cannot underestimate the positive effect of quality undergarments such as Spanxshapewear on anything you wear, especially at work. My go-to’s, like this Spanx higher power shaping brief, are among my favorites.
You’re in charge of your career. Let me say this again: You’re in charge of your career. Which also means that you can make the decisions and take the steps needed to craft the type of work in which you flourish and fulfill your purpose. This also means that contrary to public opinion, your career success doesn’t depend on your boss, your company, or even the state of the economy.
I used to believe you needed a perfect alignment of all the right planets and chakras to create a successful career. That you need a supportive boss, the right opportunities, strong mentors, and a company that believes in your talents. Don’t get me wrong, all these are certainly needed in anyone’s work evolution and growth. Yet, what I found out, is that they’re not necessarily make-or-break deals. You are the only make-or-break deal in your career. That is, if you take full and complete responsibility for your work.
Here are a few ways you can keep taking charge of your career, or regain control over the work you do:
Change the story you tell yourself about work
Much of our lack of success at work is linked to negative mindsets. If you’re telling yourself you will never succeed, or that your boss’ lack of support will end your career, chances are, that’s exactly what will happen. Instead, change the story you tell yourself about your career.
Re-frame obstacles and failures into learning opportunities. Learn to see stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and focus on the fact that nothing can prevent you from succeeding.
Show excellence
One way we lose control over our careers is by giving up on the quality of our work. It can be tempting to do just the bare minimum in a toxic work environment. We may make more mistakes when we’re unmotivated and don’t see a path to success.
Instead, decide to show excellence in everything you do. If you’re sweeping the floor, do it with excellence. If you’re writing a mundane email, do it as well as you can. Someone is always watching who has the power to bless your career. Besides, you’re not working for your boss, you’re working to learn and build a solid professional reputation. So show up with excellence.
Get committed to constant learning
Learning is one of the strongest competitive advantages you can garner in and outside of work. The more you learn, the more you have to offer, and the more indispensable you become.
Don’t settle for the degree or certification you already have. Instead, strive to keep up with your industry trends by going back to school with tools such as the Princeton Review.Take online classes with sites like Udemy or Thinkific. Learn a new IT system. Read books, even if you have to do so on the go with softwares like Audiobooks. Talk to experts in your field. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more marketable you are.
Opportunity is everywhere: Use it!
Contrary to public opinion, your manager does not hold all the opportunities available to you. He or she may be able to block some opportunities coming your way; but they cannot limit all all of them. You must learn to see opportunity all around you, instead of waiting to be offered a chance to show your skills and talents.
Where is there a need in your team, department, or business? What can you help improve or bring to the next level? How can you volunteer to use your abilities? Identify and take opportunities around you. It may be helping out in a different team, volunteering for a good cause or a different company, or simply speaking up in a large meeting. Take the opportunity where you find it, and run with it!
Build financial stability
What does financial stability have to do with taking charge of your career? Here’s the thing: the less financially stable you are, the more dependent upon your job you are. Which means you may feel trapped at a company or position that is not the right fit for you for the money!
Not having financial stability can lead you to believe that you have limited career options. When you have money in the bank, some savings and financial resources to tap into, you’re freer to make the right career decisions for you. You can decide to leave the job, take an unpaid but favorable internship, or jump ship and start your own business.
Take risks
You learn the most when you step out of your comfort zone, which can mean taking risks in your career. Maybe the next level in your work means leaving your current company and starting your business. Or you may have to make a lateral move into a different department to use your skills and talents to the maximum of your potential. Or you may have to leave your current mega-company for a smaller start-up to follow your passion.
Whatever the case may be, you’ll never fully feel in control of your career until your get comfortable risking your work outcomes.
Build a network
Your network is truly your net worth. There’s a wealth of information and opportunities in the people around you. This is why it’s crucial to build and nurture the right network for you. With the right people around you, you can get the connections and information to build the career of your dreams.
Make a point to attend at least one networking event every month. Keep in touch with your current network, including your mentors. Build a give-and-take relationship with your connections, and ask for what you need.
Start your side hustle
Side hustles are the new job security. By starting your own business on the side, you’re giving yourself a chance to pursue your passions, while freeing up extra cash. This can make you happier, while lessening the pressure to stay at a job that may not be for you.
Besides, the skills you’ll acquire starting and running a side hustle can help you in your day job as well. All around a win-win.
Commit to your personal growth
You’re not just an employee. You’re an all-around individual with a full life to live and grow through. The more you give yourself permission to evolve into the best version of yourself, the more you can show up at work as the woman or man you were created to be.
So take the trip, read the book, take care of yourself. Take the time to have hobbies and passions outside of work. Nurture your relationships, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and learn from them. The richer your personal growth, the richer your career.
Release what’s weighing you down
One of the reasons why we’re not always as successful as we could or would want to be at work is due to all the “unnecessary” stuff we carry with us. That includes negative mindsets, people-pleasing attitudes, anger, bitterness, resentment, and just putting too much on our plates overall…
The more you learn to release all this heavy baggage, the freer you are to excel in your career. You can then truly own the kind of career you deserve.
I remember coming home with my first baby, not having a single idea how I was going to care for this new life. I had all these gigantic, larger-than-life expectations about what I could, and would, be doing as a new mom. Little did I realized that as a working, I would have to re-calibrate most, if not all, of these expectations I had for myself.
Fast-forward almost 10 years later, and my definition of motherhood, as well as my intentions, goals and expectations have drastically changed. For the better, I have to say. I’ve learnt to stop holding myself to impossible standards, such as reading to my babies every single night, or feeding them home-cooked meals every single day. I’ve also given up on comparing my mothering style to that of other women, constantly questioning whether I was doing a good or totally lousy job at it. All in all, I finally made peace with re-defining motherhood as my own brand of working mother, minus the guilt, false beliefs, and the crushing weight of society’s opinions.
Being working moms has absolutely pushed the boundaries of what motherhood has always meant for women and society alike. As working mothers, we’ve had to couple our own unrealistic expectations with that of the world around us, while still striving to shatter glass ceilings and brick walls in the same breath. Then we’ve started wondering why we never quite feel satisfied, bathing instead in a constant cloud of exhaustion and self-doubt. We’ve desperately tried to hold on to the sanctity of traditional motherhood, what with its perfectly ironed bed sheets, prepared meals, and sparkly-clean households. Except we’ve also managed to add to the mix unending to-do lists, corporate ladders and business board meetings. We’ve tried to lean in, only to realize that we were instead leaning out of alignment with ourselves. Now, many of us are slowly stepping back, re-evaluating our own definitions of what it truly means to be a working mother.
For me, redefining my own brand of motherhood has been quite the process, as I struggled, like so many other working moms, with fitting into the “perfect mother” box. From desperately attempting to make it to every soccer game, to minimizing fast-food trips, not to mention keeping up with the astronomical amount of laundry piling up at the speed of the light, I stretched beyond my own personal, physical and spiritual boundaries. Until I could no more… Until it was necessary to find a new name, a new system and some new sense to this thing called being a “working mom”…
This is what it meant for me, and what it may also mean for you, as you journey through your own process of re-defining motherhood for yourse:
Learning to get the help we need:
As I spoke with many working moms around me, I realized how hard it can be for us to ask or get the help we need. Popular culture has turned supermoms and superwomen into such icons to be venerated and celebrated, that most of us have succumbed to the unrealistic call. In the process, we’ve forgotten that it’s ok to ask and get the help we need.
I know I had. Until I gave in and invited services like Blue Apron and HelloFresh into my life, freeing up both mine and dear hubby’s evenings and weekends by ordering out. Or until I made room in my budget to hire someone to help me with housework. I have to say, it took me some time not to feel guilty about what I considered then to be indulgences, but quickly realized were life and sanity-savers. Or to refrain from sharing this with friends and family, for fear of being judged. Without the pressure of having to do it all, I could finally do simple things like sit on the couch with my husband, actually play with my kids, and stop complaining about not getting a haircut in months, minus the guilt and sleepless nights…
Being more present
Piling more on our to-do lists as working moms has also forced us to give up on being present, as partners, friends, sisters and mothers. There are not enough hours in a day, so we unconsciously do more and live less. We’ve traded in being fully present in our lives, for lists of accomplishments and shiny, photo-shopped pictures on Instagram.
I’m re-defining motherhood as a working mom as simply being, instead of getting lost in the illusion of constantly doing. Which may mean leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink to have a conversation with the kids, or make it on time to the school play. Or putting the phone down during my son’s soccer game, and letting business happen as it would. Or just sitting in silence with myself, instead of mentally searching for one more item to cross off my duty list.
Investing in self-care
Self-care is not an indulgence. Let me repeat this again: self-care is not an indulgence. It’s an investment, one that requires of working moms to provide the effort, time and energy to pour into ourselves before, and because of our call to, pour into others.
I had wrongly defined motherhood as this unending roller-coaster of obligations and responsibilities, neglecting my own well-being. There was always something to do at home or at work, so there was no time to drop by the gym, read a book or hang out with the girls. How many of us negatively judge other working moms who take the time to exercise, have regular girls’ night out, or go back to school? Because shouldn’t motherhood be this sacrificial thing we dedicate ourselves entirely to, before trying to fit in everything (and everyone) else? Hence the myth of the frazzled mom escaping her life at Target on Saturday night….
I’m choosing instead to invest in the best version of myself so I can show up as the best individual, including the best mother, I can be. Which may mean re-arranging some priorities, freeing up some time, and putting my mask on before saving anybody else…
Building a legacy
I choose to re-define being a working mom as investing in building a legacy, from making sure we have a reliable life insurance policy to following my dreams, building the business, rising in my career to having the courage to craft my will. These are things I wouldn’t have time to think about before, let alone tackle, because I would lose myself in all the minute details of parenting, from serving as dedicated chauffeur to shopping the latest kids’ designs.
Yet, if we only could release the pressure on ourselves and lift our heads from the smoke of day-to-day details, we might start asking ourselves questions such as: “What am I leaving my kids?”, or “What impact am I really having on my family?”.
Because being a working mom is not just about crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s of our over-packed existences, but building a legacy we can leave behind. Because our kids may not remember how sparkly clean the house was when they were growing up, but they may very well recall how their working mother invested in their college fund, starter her own business, or built her best career…
How are you re-defining motherhood as a working mom?
There’s a lot of talk out there about Purpose, how we can walk in our purpose, do things according to our own purpose, be more purposeful, etc…While much of it is so inspiring, many of us also find ourselves asking: “But…what is my purpose? How do I figure it out? And how do I even begin to walk in it when I don’t even know what it is to start with?” This is without mentioning the guilt associated with focusing on our purpose, instead of doing what everyone else seems to be doing, that is going through the motions of work and life, making a paycheck, paying bills, etc…
I know I’ve asked myself the question over and over again. After years of being in a career that did not bring the type of fulfillment I was seeking, I decided to find out what this purpose thing was all about. I knew I had a passion for writing and teaching, yet I had no clue how to fit it in with who I had become, what I was doing, and my current family and personal situation.
The question I kept asking myself was: “How do we get there?”, “there” being that point where we can all get to work and live according to our divine purpose. How do we even figure out what this divine purpose is? And where do we start this entire process, while still paying our bills, catching up on email, and keeping our skin hydrated and moisturized?
One conversation with a dear mentor of mine put me on the path to answering, if not all these questions, at least some of them. He equated the whole process of getting “there”, or anywhere for that matter, to climbing a mountain and reaching the top. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. What if every process we undertake is really just like climbing a mountain? What if this most important process of working and living on purpose is just that, climbing our own mountains of potential to reach the top of our divine purpose. And just like reaching the pinnacle of any mountain, there has to be steps we discipline ourselves to follow:
The Foundation Principle: Building on the skills, lessons and experiences you’ve gathered so far
Where do you start on any new process, especially one as big as fulfilling your divine purpose? What do you build on? Where do you even begin?
Although I spent much time wondering about this, the answer turned out to be simpler than I thought. Start where you are, with what you have. This also means leveraging all the experiences, the wisdom, the victories but also the failures we’ve been through. When I went through the exercise of documenting everything I had already accomplished and learnt, even if it seemed insignificant or not particularly positive, I realized I had more than I thought to get started. It also gave me the motivation and encouragement I needed to get on my own journey of purpose and fulfillment, as I remembered how much I had already done.
Can you think back to everything you’ve already achieved, learnt and acquired, in addition to all the natural skills, talents and abilities you naturally possess? As a matter of fact, can you make an inventory of all you’ve already been through and acquired over time? You may not give credit for everything you’ve accomplished.
The Choice Principle: Choosing the goals and objectives that are appropriate for you
How many times have you made a decision based on what someone else thought? How often have you even shifted the entire direction of your career, business, or even love life towards what some semi-influential person in your life recommended? If you come from most African families, you may remember your mom, dad, auntie or uncle prematurely brag about your bright future career as a “doctor” or “engineer”. That may have been the reason why you struggled in Pre-med, before realizing your acute fear of blood and dropping out. Or walking out of your cubicle one day, throwing your engineer’s hat out, and going back to school for creative writing…
When picking our own mountains to climb, we can be tempted to set other people’s goals and objectives as our own. It may be out of a faulty sense of duty, compromise, or because we’re afraid to pursue our own dreams.
The People Principle: Build a network that pushes you to become your best self
Working and living on purpose also requires you to surround yourself with the right people. People who inspire you, motivate you, push you, mentor you. People whom you can also serve as mentors for. Often, the reason we’re not reaching our potential is because we’re simply in the wrong environment.
In the same way that you’d pick a supportive, able team to help you hike up a mountain, you also need the right people around you to reach your purpose at work and in life.
The Preparation Principle: Gathering your resources to work and live on purpose
What do you need to fully engage in the process of working and living on purpose? If you had to pack a bag on this purpose journey, what would it include? And what would you leave behind?
As I embarked on my own purpose journey, I quickly realized that there were quite a few of the resources I needed that I was sorely missing. I had to work on my mindset, my sense of self-worth, but also on my relationships, my ability to learn and adapt, and my faith. These are some of the most precious resources to gather on the journey to working and living on purpose.
The Resilience Principle: Dealing with opposition
One thing that you can count on as you pursue Purpose in your career, business and life is opposition. There is something about stepping into unfamiliar, uncomfortable and often unchartered territory that makes others, especially those who “knew you when”, uncomfortable.
As you transform through the process of working and living on purpose, you’ll need the appropriate tools to face the opposition that will inevitably come your way. These include a strong sense of self, an extra dose of resilience, and a solid “why” to remind you of the very reason you started this journey in the first place, whatever it may be…
The Courage Principle: Developing the courage to keep going
Following Purpose is hard. For some, it may mean leaving a comfortable, well-paying career to start a business. For others, it may mean transitioning to a new environment or different relationships. While in the beginning, the prospect of being more fulfilled may seem exciting, in the long run, it can be easy to give up when faced with inevitable difficulties, opposition and struggles. After all, most new businesses fail in their first year, mostly because of how hard they are to sustain in the long run.
This is where developing the courage to keep going comes into play. It’s rooted in constant self-affirmation, positive support, and a strong faith in your mission.
The Celebration Principle: Learning to celebrate and moving on to the next mountain
The journey to work and live on purpose is very much a transformative one. While it’s challenging, it’s also so rewarding when we finally make it to the top of our mountains of potential, and achieve the goals that get us to activate our purpose. Yet, how often do we stop to take in the view, take a breath of fresh air, and really appreciate how far we’ve come? Not nearly as often as we should…
Instead, we tend to rush from one accomplishment to the next, burying ourselves under endless obligations and commitments. Before you know it, the same joy, fulfillment and sense of purpose we were starting to feel starts evaporating, diluted by unhealthy pressure.
This is why learning to celebrate and honor every milestone is so important, before moving on to the next goal, the next objective, the next goalpost on our way to fulfilling our divine potential.
Which one of these principles do you struggle the most with?
