I recently attended a women’s empowerment conference in one of the nearby universities, and one of the questions raised by a young student was: “Should I pick the career with great perks or the career that’s a best fit?” This is a question most working women and working moms ask themselves on a daily basis. The job with the great perks, including free travel, luxury stays in intercontinental hotels, and a great salary to boot, may certainly be attractive. Yet, how about the gig where people our value, where we get the most fulfilled, although the pay may not be quite as appealing? Let me tell you, you should pick the career that fits you best.
A few years back, I had to seriously ask myself this question when offered an opportunity that seemed impossible to refuse. I had two babies at the time, one of which an infant, and the prospect of added financial gain was hard to ignore. Despite the sinking feeling in my stomach as I read the about the 25% travel requirement, I accepted the offer. It was the beginning of a painful realization that there are truly no perks or amount of money that is worth the feeling of fulfillment and wholeness one deserves, especially as a working mom.
As you may start or be re-directing your career or business, you may be faced with the same pressing question. Do you take the high-paying job with loads of advantages, or do you pick the option that feels and looks like a better fit for you as a working mom and working woman? You know, the one that actually lets you see your kids, be home for dinner, and work at something that makes your heart full at the end of the day? In my opinion, the latter holds true, and here are three reasons why:
It’s never just a career decision, it’s a life decision
At times, we tend to compartmentalize our work and life in separate containers, as if one had nothing to do with the other. I’ve learnt that pretty much everything that affects your life can affect your work and vice-versa. When making a career decision, you’re really making a life decision. It’s one that’s bound to impact your well-being as well as your family’s well-being.
Is this career or job going to allow you to care for yourself and yours? Will you be able to build some margin in your schedule? Will you be able to have a sense of balance?
You develop more in an environment that’s a better fit for you
Getting an offer letter from a multi-million dollar corporation with a salary cap in the six-figure realm is flattering, appealing and frankly borderline irresistible. However, these same multi-million dollar corporations can also be labyrinths of bureaucracy and administration where you may not be able to fully develop and come into your own, professionally and personally, unless you’ve found a right fit in these.
The larger the professional environment, the more chances your voice may be drowned in all the surrounding noise. If developing your voice and growing in your career is a priority, it’s crucial to pick the career or job that allows you to do so. After all, it’s better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a large pond
In the end, your fulfillment and happiness is what matters.
At the end of the day, you won’t remember the perks or the multiple zeros in your salary. Ok, maybe a little… But what is really going to stay with you, is how much fulfillment you’ve had, how many memorable experiences and people you’ve come across, and what difference you’ve made. This is where fit or the lack thereof can create the best or the worst of careers or jobs.
Are you choosing an environment that’s the right fit for you?
I’m a recovering overachiever, I admit it. Like many other working women and working moms, I suffer from the “I want to do it all” syndrome. My to-do lists are gigantic, filled with unending items from the smallest and most mundane, to the most elaborate tasks. From paying the mortgage to replacing the shower curtains and planning for the next department meeting… Even when I can (painfully) plow through most of them throughout the day, I’m still left with so much to do at the end of the day that discouragement quickly sets in. Along with the realization that “less is more”…
If you’re a fellow “on the verge of overwhelm” working mom like myself, you know the feeling. You also know that it’s far from being a pleasant one. What you also may be familiar with is that sinking sense of despair as you roll off the bed in the morning, knowing that you’ll probably not get through your to-do list for the day, yet again…
Lately, this same sinking feeling has been overtaking me. As an avid consumer of productivity content through books, podcasts and other mediums, I started researching ways in which I could, well…do less, achieve more, and take a break. I was recently inspired by one of Amy Porterfield’s podcast, during which she interviewed best-selling author Michael Hyatt. It reminded me of the rule of three (3)which I had read a lot about in the past.
The rule of three (3) is a rhetorical technique that originated in ancient Greece, and focuses on three (3) words to express an idea. Since three items are easier to remember than five or seven, virtually anything presented in threes may be easier to accomplish and retain. Just consider the three (3) rights listed in the American Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Or Apple’s founder’s Steve Jobs’ tendency to build all his presentations and product launches as iterations of threes, from the three iPad models introduced in 2010, to its description as “thinner, lighter and faster” than its predecessor. The point is, the rule of three works, so why not use it in our over-booked working moms’ lives?
Here are three (3) ways I’ve personally been using it to do less and achieve more as a recovering, frazzled working mom, and recommend:
Identify your 3 life areas
Do you tend to have countless buckets in your personal life, from family to home life, relationships, faith, spirituality and so on and so forth? I know I used to. As a result, there were so many things I was stretching myself in between to accomplish all the attached objectives. Obviously, it didn’t work in the least…
When I asked myself what three personal areas were most important to me, the answer turned out to be simpler than I thought: FAITH, SELF-CARE, and FAMILY. It made it so much easier to determine what priorities went into each of these areas, and stick to them. Even better, I picked only three priorities for each of these areas, and assigned time to each one of these.
What are your three most important personal life areas? Can you assign three priorities to each?
Identify your 3 work areas
In the same way that I picked three personal areas, I also selected three work areas to focus on. These are aligned with my passions, talents and abilities, and comprise the bulk of my work. For me, they are: TEACHING, WRITING and SPEAKING.
Similarly, I pick three priorities in each of these areas to devote my time to and build my goals around.
What are your three work areas that you choose to focus on? Can you identify three priorities for each one of these?
Pick your goals in 3’s
Lastly, whenever I devise my goals, I do it in three’s. I pick three major yearly, quarterly and monthly goals to address every year, quarter and month. In the same way, I break down each one of these goals into three items to address for each.
What three major goals can you focus on this year, quarter or month?
How can you use the rule of three to achieve more by doing less?
From my many conversations with small business owners, I’ve realized that many fear the sheer thought of tackling the accounting part of our business. This is especially true for creatives who would rather devote their time to creating content than digging into the specifics of expense and revenue tracking.
However, the common misconception is that accounting is reserved for a select few, and the rest of the mere mortals are left powerless in its wake. As a result, many of us omit one of the most important parts of our businesses, that is the financial and accounting side. As a CPA and consultant, it’s a fear I hear and see in many of my clients.
With the advent of side hustles and solopreneurs, especially among working women, it’s becoming increasingly important to have a handle on our own accounting. Most small businesses are now being started by women, especially women of color, which reinforces the need to tackle our own financial needs. Even if you hire a professional, you still need to know what is being done in your business.
If you’re a small business owner, or thinking of becoming one, here are 10 accounting basics to keep in mind:
Develop a business plan
One of the most overlooked parts of starting a business is developing a business plan. This is where you express your business strategy through a detailed plan that will inform your activities and general growth. A good place to get start is: www.sba.gov.
Decide on your business structure
Whether you decide to run your business as a sole proprietorship, establish a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC), or a partnership, among other business structures, this will impact your tax status, as well as the way you conduct business.
Open a bank account for your business
Distinguishing and separating your funds with that of the business is paramount. It helps you track the expenses and revenues of the business better, while also protecting your assets in the meantime.
List your creditors
Taking care of the debts of your business is paramount as this will help you secure loans and show how solvable it is. Make sure to list all your creditors and keep track of your debts owed and the payments you’re making towards these.
List your business assets
As a small business owner, knowing what you own in terms of assets is crucial. Not only can this help you value your business better in financial terms, but it will also allow you to keep track of the growth, or lack thereof, of your entity.
Determine your discounts
How will your structure any discounts you give to customers? Considering how these discounts can impact your bottom line, you may want to decide earlier on on their structure and frequency.
Choose your accounting method of choice
Will you be using the cash method of accounting, whereby you will recognize your revenues and expenses based on cash exchanged? Or will you accrue your expenses and revenues instead? Deciding on your method of accounting will allow you to manage your books better, and be more aware of the profits of your business.
Decide if you’ll use an accounting software
Will you be using an accounting software or manually record your transactions? This decision will impact your entire accounting system, so you may want to spend some time reviewing the different options you may have. Accounting software like Quickbooks or Freshbooks are great ways to get started.
Determine how you will enter your bills and revenues
Will you hire someone to record your bills and revenues? Will you do it yourself? How frequently will you do it? Will you be using an app to scan your receipts? These may sound like small business decisions, however they will greatly impact the accuracy and timeliness of your records, which in turn will affect your taxes and general growth.
Picking the right accountant for you
Last but not least, picking the right accountant for you is a process to tackle carefully. Not everyone can serve as your business accountant, even if they have all the right degrees and credentials. Some questions to ask yourself when picking your business accountant include:
Does this person understand my business?
Does he/she get the strategy of my business?
Is he/she qualified enough?
Is he/she available to work on my business in a way that will serve me well?
As a small business owner, you want to make sure that you have an input into your finances and accounting. After all, it’s your business, and it’s up to you to steer it in the right direction. Even as you may seek help and hire accounting personnel, remember that your business is yours, and others are here to help you execute your vision.
Whether you’re just starting out in your career, or you already have significant experience, you probably are periodically thinking about what it would take for you to upgrade your career. It may be getting a promotion, transitioning to a different department or team, or even switching careers. In most extreme cases, it may even be about taking a leap of faith into entrepreneurship.
The point is, even if you’re comfortable coasting through the ups and downs of your career or business, you may also want to take your career to the next level. However, you may think, like I did, that it would take something drastic to do so. What I have found out through mine and many other working women’s experience, is that upgrading your career is not as complex or lengthy of a process as we may think. As a matter of fact, you have much more power and ability to steer your work towards what you truly desire as you accomplish your purpose than you think.
Here are 4 simple ways you can get started with today to upgrade your career:
Start with mindset
A large, if not the largest part of improving your career for the better, lies with our minds. In most cases, it’s primarily about the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and the work we do. It may be the result of deeply ingrained conceptions from childhood about our abilities or personality; or the outcome of failed experiences in the workplace.
The point is, even if you’re comfortable coasting through the ups and downs of your career or business, you may also want to take your career to the next level. However, you may think, like I did, that it would take something drastic to do so. What I have found out through mine and many other working women’s experience, is that upgrading your career is not as complex or lengthy of a process as we may think. As a matter of fact, you have much more power and ability to steer your work towards what you truly desire as you accomplish your purpose than you think.
Here are 4 simple ways you can get started with today to upgrade your career:
Start with mindset
A large, if not the largest part of improving your career for the better, lies with our minds. In most cases, it’s primarily about the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and the work we do. It may be the result of deeply ingrained conceptions from childhood about our abilities or personality; or the outcome of failed experiences in the workplace.
I was always told as a child that I was shy and could not express myself in public. Over the years, I became convinced that I would never be able to speak publicly. This greatly impacted my success at work initially, as I would be insecure expressing my thoughts, opinions, or even standing up for myself in the workplace. Today, I teach and speak to audiences all over and am no longer afraid of telling my story. This could not have happened had I not been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do some much-needed mindset work.
What is your current mindset about your career? Do you tell yourself a positive, uplifting message about your career that allows you to thrive? Or do you get bogged down by limitations that tank your performance?
Invest in learning
Learning is the one single most important skill that will keep you successful and fulfilled throughout your career. Remember that your career is a living, breathing thing that changes not just with organizations and industries you’re part of. It also evolves with you and the rest of society. Constantly learning and educating yourself not only keeps you current and competent; but it also enriches you in general.
There are many ways to invest in learning, and these aren’t just limited to taking courses or going back to school. You can also learn from your environment, develop skills that you may be lacking, such as public speaking for instance. You may also learn through mentors, peers, allies and those around you.
What is it that you could invest in learning about to upgrade your career? Are there skills that could take your work to the next level that you could acquire?
Be more authentic
We don’t often talk about authenticity when it comes to taking your career to the next level. However, it’s a critical component of your success at work. You don’t just bring your credentials, degrees and other qualifications to the table of your career. You also bring in the sum of your life experiences, your personality, your mindset, and general outlook on life and work. These play an integral part in your career development.
While we all tend to keep our “professional masks” on, there are also ways in which we can manage to be more authentic. Sharing a part of who we are, showing up as our authentic selves, daring to tell the truth of your convictions, are steps in the right direction. For me, it was daring to disagree, walking away from toxic work situations, and yes, even wearing my hair natural.
Which areas of your work and life do you need to be more authentic in? What can you do today to show up as you are at work?
Make peace with failure
A great career is also one that includes failures. Not everything you will do or try will work. As a matter of fact, much of your work may end up in failures. Yet, there is so much power in learning from our mistakes, finding better ways to address our shortcomings and improving processes and systems in general.
Failure is a powerful tool. When used correctly, not to increase fear and intimidation, but instead to foster growth and innovation, it can radically change the narrative of our careers.
Have you been resisting failure? What have you kept yourself from trying out of fear of failing? What failures have you buried down deep and not addressed so you could learn and improve from them?
As I’m drafting this email, I’m reeling from the last Women of Color in the Academy Conference I attended last week. The theme of this year’s Women of Color in the Academy conference in Boston, held at Northeastern University, was all around self-care as women of color in academia. From dealing with micro-aggressions to developing negotiation skills, aligning with our vision, and growing as a scholar and academic, the topics covered were deep, vast and overall extremely empowering.
While the content of the conference itself was top-notch, it was more so the fact that so many professional women of color within a profession were gathered together in the same rooms. To be able to see familiar faces in a career and business setting was nothing short of amazing. As women of color, we’re most often in working environments with very few of our counterparts, if any. This reinforces the sense of isolation many, if not most of us, may feel in the context of our work, which in turn exacerbates negative patterns such as Impostor syndrome, lack of self-confidence, poor negotiation skills, and so much more.
There is something about representation that strengthens one’s ability to perform at optimal levels. Studies suggest that women of color are unfortunately less supported at work.According to this 2016 Catalyst report, the latter even tend to pay an “emotional tax” translating in a constant sense of being under-valued and having to be cautious at work. These hurdles due to lack of adequate representation, among other factors, have proven to be extremely detrimental to women of color.
As such, going from environments sorely lacking in diversity to having the opportunity to enjoy and leverage this diversity during women of color conferences goes a long way. This is the main reason why women of color conferences are critical to the latter’s growth, balance and flourishing, both professionally and personally. Aside from this, these conferences are also needed to:
Women of color conferences do provide the advantage of creating a platform to share common experiences and find tools to grow through these. They are also a powerful source of networking, in addition to nurturing a wider pool of diverse talent. Imagine if each woman of color could recommend another woman of color for opening positions across organizations and institutions?
Share and develop best practices
Women of color face unique challenges and situations that require unique solutions. These are the types of solutions and best practices that are discussed and developed during these conferences. In turn, these best practices can help improve organizations as a whole.
This is the reason why women of color conferences virtually act as masterminds to craft best diversity and work practices in general.
Start a conversation that can be continued in our workplaces
Last but not least, women of color conferences have the advantage of starting important conversations on diversity and equity. After these conferences, attendees tend to go back to work more open and willing to continue the conversation.
What has been your experience attending women of color conferences?
I used to be really good at apologizing. About anything and everything. But especially about being ambitious, and scoring successes, when I did. Most times, I would flat out lose myself in effusive, long-winded apologies. Other times, I would side-step positive and negative comments alike by attributing the whole thing to luck, other people, or a particularly conspicuous alignment of the stars. Like so many other working women and moms, I would mold, diminish, and excuse any potential seed of ambition or success, so as to fit in better, be more accepted, and not attract too much suspicion. Until I learnt to stop apologizing for career ambition or success…
You know the feeling, right? That thing you may call humility, or remembering where you come from, that keeps you in your place, reminding you not to overstep your self-imposed boundaries. Not to speak your truth, reach too high, or pat yourself on the back…Don’t get me wrong. Humility in its essence is a great quality. Humility as a shield against the fear to step into who we really are is an excuse. A sorry one at that…
As young girls, many of us are told to keep quiet. To care about and for others’ feelings. To not overshadow others, and be conscious of how others feel. Yet, as women, and as working women and moms, we quickly start realizing how making too much room for others also means not making enough room for ourselves. Which often translates into constantly apologizing for whatever professional ambition or success we may have. It then leads us into a vicious cycle that feeds lower self-esteem. However, there are ways in which we can stop this vicious cycle and finally quit feeling guilty for our success:
Understand your triggers
There are many reasons why we may apologize for our success, and a host of triggers that may set us off. These may differ from individual to individual. However, it’s important to understand what your own triggers are. What makes you believe that you’re not worth any of the praise and recognition you so rightly deserve? Who instilled in you a sense that you may not be worthy? When did you stop believing in your true talent and abilities?
Change the story you tell yourself about your success
The story you tell yourself about yourself will change the way you perceive your own achievements. If you’ve been suffering from Impostor Syndrome, you may also have been telling yourself that you don’t deserve your achievements. Or that at any moment, the rug could be pulled from under your legs and you will lose all your hard work.
Own your achievements
Last but not least, practice owning your achievements. This is something that may take some time if you’ve never done it before. Take some time to see yourself as deserving of your accomplishments. Learn to not necessarily attribute all the credit of your hard work to everyone else but yourself.
It’s time stop feeling sorry for all your hard work, and instead embrace how far you’ve come. It starts with you acknowledging your own worth, by understanding your own triggers, re-framing your story and finally owning your achievements.
I have a soft spot for single moms, as I was raised by one. If you ask me, single moms are right up there with the best of superheroes. In addition to being mom and dad, they hold down and businesses, while keeping a roof over their heads and raising kids on their own. Which means they also can be under financial pressure as they strive to bear the financial burden of being a single parent. This is where single moms can use tax credits and deductions to help…
If you’re a single mom, you know all too well what the financial burden of raising kids on your own is. What you also must know is that you have access to tax tools and tips to ease the weight. Here are 4 things you must know when filing your taxes:
You might want to file as head of household
As a single mom, you can get a lower tax rate by picking the head of household filing status rather than filing single or married. The head of household filing status requires you to be unmarried as of the last day of the tax year. Another condition to file under this status is that your children must live with you for more than 6 months of the year. Additionally, you must pay more than 50% of the expenses to support your home.
You must show that your children qualify as dependents
In order to get tax credits and deductions related to your children, you must show that they qualify as dependents. If your child resides with you, you may be able to claim him/her as such, according to the IRS’ custodial residency test.
However, the father may be able to claim the child as a dependent even if said child does not reside with him if:
The child’s father and yourself are legally separated or divorced, or you lived separately for the last 6 months of the year
The child’s father and you have legal custody of said child
Half of the support of the child was provided by the parents for at least 6 months of the year
You provide a written agreement not to claim the child as a dependent or there is a legal agreement made before 1984 allowing the father to claim the child as a dependent.
All the above conditions must apply for the child’s father to claim the child as a dependent.
You can deduct your childcare expenses…
Is your dependent child 12 years or older? Do you pay for daycare so you can go to work or look for a job? Do you have an income, are a full-time student, or are unable to care for yourself? In this case, if you answer yes to all these questions, you may be able to claim the childcare tax credit, as long the care provider is over 19 years old, is not the child’s parent, and is shown on your tax return. However, if your employer helped pay for any of these expenses, their contribution must be deducted from your expenses.
Don’t forget to include the child tax credit
After 2017, if you’re a single mom filing as head of household and you make less than $75,000, you can now claim a child tax credit of $2,000 for each child. This amount used to be $1,000 for tax years before 2018. However, this credit caps at incomes of $200,000 and beyond for single or head of household filers.
Keep in mind that your child must be 16 years old or younger to qualify. He/she must eb your dependent and can be your son, daughter, brother, sister, stepchild, stepbrother, stepsister, niece, nephew, grandchild, or legally adopted. Additionally, he/she must have resided with you for at least 6 months, be a US citizen, US national or resident alien. Lastly, he/she must have received more than half of his/her support from you.
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