Online meetings are getting increasingly more popular with the increase in work-from-home arrangements. As the current coronavirus crisis is pushing most people to work remotely, online meetings are becoming the norm more than the exception.
If you have been working from home, you may have already been in a slew of online meetings. Over the course of my career, and especially in times of crisis like the current coronavirus pandemic we’re facing, I certainly have. I’ve also had the opportunity to learn a tremendous amount, especially in regards to ways of conducting and participating in online meetings in an effective and respectful manner.
Here are a few tips to be more effective (and mind your manners) during online meetings:
Please dress appropriately
If you choose to show yourself via video (depending on the meeting in question, it may be required or not), dressing appropriately is a must. When we’re home, we may be tempted to dress more casually and relax our upkeep in general. However, looking professional is as important remotely as it is in person, so please make sure to present a polished appearance (even if this means you’re wearing exercise shorts under your pussy-bow blouse).
Test your equipment beforehand
Technology is not always 100% reliable, so make sure to test your equipment beforehand. A quick check of the audio and video quality can go a long way towards ensuring that the meeting is not interrupted, delayed or canceled altogether due to avoidable technical difficulties.
Arrive early
As with in-person meetings, punctuality in online meetings is crucial. Arriving five to fifteen minutes early not only makes you look professional and reliable, but can also help address any connectivity and technical issues that may arise early.
Make sure to avoid photobombing as much as possible
Remember Professor Robert Kelly’s interview on BBC, when his children actually became the inadvertent stars of the show by photobombing the entire process? As a working mom, I could certainly relate, as my kids have been serious photobombing perpetrators in some of my online meetings and classes. As much as possible, try to schedule meetings at times when there is a lessened risk of your kids or family members interrupting you. Let your loved ones know of meetings in advance, find a somewhat secluded space to hold the meeting (if possible), to avoid instances of photobombing as much as possible.
Have a backup option available
Having more than one option available for online meetings can help you quickly adapt when your video call slows your computer down, or your Internet bandwith starts giving up on you. You can use your phone as a backup for instance.
Get some headphones if necessary
To get the most out of an online meeting, you must make sure you’re able to speak up and be heard well, and also be able to hear others well. Unless your computer audio quality is top notch, investing in reliable headphones may be the way to go.
When you’re not speaking, use the mute button
After having my share of online meetings interrupted by kids screaming in the background, or by the mailman delivering yet another pair of shoes I didn’t need, I’ve become best friends with the mute button. Rule of thumb: when not speaking, use the mute button. Just don’t forget to unmute yourself when it’s your turn to speak up.
Be courteous!
Even in online meetings, respect and courtesy remain key. This means allowing others to speak, not speaking over other people, and using the tools at your disposal to be courteous. Many online applications offer the option to raise your hand before speaking up, along with using the chat function to add additional information.
When in doubt, use humor
There are a number of factors that can impact online meetings, many of which are difficult to predict and/or prepare for, especially when you’re a working parent. When in doubt, or faced with your toddler wagging his diaper in your face or throwing an unplanned tantrum (aren’t they all?), don’t be afraid to use humor to deflate the tension. After all, we’re all human, and things happen.
What other tips would you suggest to be more effective in online meetings?
Talking to children about a crisis is extremely challenging, and at times downright heart-wrenching, especially as a parent. With the coronavirus crisis upon us, many working parents are faced with tough questions from their children. As a working mom, you may have been at the end of a string of inquiries from your kids, asking just about everything about this crisis, from why they have to stay home and skip school, to whether people can die of the virus and why.
I know I have, and have felt a painful pinch to my heart and tightness in my chest, as I tried finding the right words to explain the unexplainable. How do you tell young kids from one day to the other, they may not be able for a while to freely roam outside and touch everything in sight, see their grand-parents, cousins and friends, or that they now have to stay home until further notice? How do you use words that make sense, and somehow lighten the weight of the anxiety and frustration you may be experiencing yourself? And how do you talk to children about protecting themselves from the virus, and avoid spreading it around?
In times of crisis, children do worry as well. While they may express it in different terms, or act out about it, they can still sense and experience the stress, fear and anxiety around, especially when coming from their parents and closest loved ones. This is why it’s so important to have honest yet sensitive conversations with children, especially in times of crisis.
Assess what the child already knows and reduce his/her exposure
One thing I’ve learnt as a working mama is that children know much more than we give them credit for, especially now that many have more access to the internet and tech tools. This is all the more important that as children are stuck at home and much of their homework is located online, it’s challenging to reduce their screen time.
Ask them what they already know about the current situation, so you can correct any misconception. Reducing their exposure to news about COVID-19 may also help alleviate any anxiety and risk of misinformation.
Be honest
It may be tempting to embellish the truth to protect our younger ones. However, it’s crucial to be honest and give them accurate information, as long as it remains appropriate for their age and developmental level.
Teach them safety comes first
As part of talking to children about any crisis, including the coronavirus crisis, teaching them safety comes first is paramount. In the case of the coronavirus crisis, teach them about rules of safety, such as keeping a social distance from people, appropriately washing their hands or sneezing and coughing in the trash or into their elbow, among other preventative measures.
Let your behavior serve as a way: stay calm and non-judgmental
Children emulate our behavior more than they listen to what we say, as I’ve learnt at my own expense. That’s why I’m careful to assign blame in my words or actions, or to show too much frustration or anxiety. While we’re human and don’t have to keep our emotions tucked away, serving as a positive example can go a long way.
Kids pick up on adults’ behavioral cues, so staying calm when talking to them in times of crisis is essential. As much as possible, use a reassuring tone, even when conveying less than positive news.
You can find the CDC’s guidelines to talk to children ab by clicking here.
Have you talked to children about the coronavirus, or any other crisis? What additional tips would you add?
Working online as a working mom presents many complex challenges. While someone working on their own at home has to follow basic rules on online etiquette, for working moms performing their professional responsibilities remotely online, there are many other additional factors to consider.
As a working mom, I have to take into account my family’s schedule, as well as my caregiving responsibilities, when performing my professional duties remotely. This includes taking into account my kids being home to build my schedule and hold meetings, incorporate my caregiving and household duties into my daily to-do’s, and still perform my work to the best of my ability or even better. These are also factors that may not be taken into consideration by organizations and collaborators when working remotely with working moms. Not only do these online etiquette rules show care and appreciation for the hard work working mothers are providing, but also has the positive impact of increasing, even multiplying, their productivity and loyalty in the long-run…
As such, when working remotely with moms, a few online etiquette considerations may come in handy:
Please be respectful of scheduling boundaries
For many moms working remotely from home, scheduling their day is an exercise in sheer endurance and flexibility, which includes kids’ pickups, drop-offs, activities, and other caregiving responsibilities. After all, it’s the reason why so many working moms seek to work from home, so they can actually incorporate their work and family responsibilities into the same schedule. This schedule is also a juggling act, which requires mothers to set strict boundaries to be able to transition from one activity to the other. For instance, scheduling a one-hour meeting at 1:30pm when kids’ school pick-up is at 2:30pm is impractical if you’re a working mom.
Respecting scheduling boundaries is a must when working remotely with working moms, as these boundaries may mean the difference between success and failure on a personal and professional basis. As there is more understanding around this, it will become easier for working moms to work effectively, successfully and with less stress, while still carrying out their caregiving and household-related tasks.
As much as possible, avoid last minute meetings
Yes, crisis happen and last-minute meetings may be necessary. However, when not absolutely necessary, these should be avoided if at all possible. For many a working mom, accommodating a last-minute meeting also may mean having to find emergency childcare, which is not always available, or having to incur additional care-related expenses.
When possible, understanding that last-minute meetings may take a whole new, often negative, meaning for working moms, can go a long way.
Consider allowing more flexibility in working moms’ remote schedules
As a working mom, I’m often up late finishing up on some tasks, or rising early to get a head -start on the day. Having flexibility when working remotely makes all the difference for working moms, as our schedules are not traditional and may often change on a day-to-day basis, with kids’ illnesses, school closures, and other care-related emergencies.
This also implies that more flexibility in a working mom’s schedule allows for increased productivity and impact, while helping families continue to function effectively.
All in all, as organizations and managers, considering the special set of circumstances working moms deal with when working remotely is not just a matter of helping them, but also a matter of multiplying the positive impact and efficiency women bring to the bottom line of companies. Foregoing these would end up costing us all in the long-run…
As working moms, what can organizations do to help you work better remotely?
As we navigate the Coronavirus crisis quarantined at home, many working moms are under extraordinary pressure to handle multiple priorities at once, including childcare, elderly care, remote work and household chores, in addition to keeping a level head and maintaining some sense of sanity. While many parents are working from home, the burden of care and household chores still traditionally remains on working moms, who also have to add to it the pressure (and obligation) of working remotely.
For many, if not most working mothers, it means rearranging their schedules to rise even earlier than usual to work, or staying up late to catch up on unfinished business. It also means homeschooling the at least 32.5 million students from kindergarten through 12thgrade, who may be reticent to studying at home, and having the patience to deal with the inevitable meltdowns and tantrums that may come with it. Add to it the piling up of dishes, laundry and household cleaning due to the majority of the family being home at the same time, and overwhelm, frustration and even resentment, may set in. This is without even considering the impact of the anxiety, worry and despair plaguing most of us as we painfully learn to live in a reality that is closer to science-fiction than anything we could have ever imagined…
What this also translates into for working mothers, are inescapable health-related mental costs, as the number of hours spent working inside the home on careers and businesses, in addition to childcare and household-related duties, increases, along with stress and anxiety levels. For working moms who do not have the benefit of salaried employment, are seasonal workers, or small business owners, the economic costs are outrageously high, as many, if not most, come to terms with not being able to put food in the table in a matter of days or weeks. Many working moms, single moms in particular, who relied on schools to provide meals to their children, or moms whose children need regular, expensive medication, are now facing dire economic circumstances.
As a working mom myself, I was shocked by the sheer amount of work, both childcare and household-related, in addition to adapting to working remotely in the midst of chaos and homeschooling, I now had to face. As my spouse had to go to work, this also meant dealing with the new situation alone at home. While I’m certainly counting my blessings, I also realized there are millions of working women faced with the same, if not worse, situation.
I can only imagine what the moms who work part-time performing essential duties that cannot be performed remotely, are going through. Women working part-time represent 2/3 of the population of part-time workers, as reported by the National Women’s Law Center, and are paid less in addition to having less access to benefits. Not to mention the working moms in the healthcare industry, or in other emergency fields like firefighters and public servants, who do not even have the privilege to stay home.
While this depicts a pretty dreary picture during this already depressing coronavirus crisis, it also reminds us of the importance of building plans and infrastructures that preserve working mothers in the regular course of business and life. The House passed a preliminary aid package including a provision to provide mothers and pregnant women out of a job with food.
While there should be contingency plans in place to protect everyone, working moms, most of whom in charge of caring for children and elderly, especially in the case of single moms and in many families represent financial, emotional and spiritual pillars, should not be forgotten.
Here are some ways to help working moms during the coronavirus crisis:
Bosses, please be more understanding!
Working from home with kids is HARD. This is why it’s so important that working moms and their managers have honest conversations about work expectations during this time. This is largely uncharted territory, hence the importance of having flexible yet clear expectations, and being able to adapt to change.
Use technology to help out
With the quarantine restrictions, it may mean children are expected to have more screen time than usual, with homework and activities being completed online. This also means that some working moms may have to get a computer, or not have enough computers for all their children. If you have a spare computer, consider helping out by sharing with less fortunate families.
Some companies have already started offering Internet streaming services for free, which will be a huge relief for families. Other ways to help include using technology to hold virtual play dates, or send tips and tricks to help working moms via text, email, or on social media.
Parenting partners, please get on the same page!
In regular times, sharing responsibilities as parenting partners is challenging, with most of the childcare and household duties falling on working moms’ shoulders. If you’re a parenting partner to a working mom, it may mean considering adjusting your schedule to accommodate school closures, work disruptions, layoffs, and other disruptions bound to happen during this time.
It also may mean opening the lines of communication with your partner to understand what they’re going through, and how best to help, whether it’s operating in shifts, come up with creative alternatives, or just lending a compassionate ear.
Just check in and ask how they’re doing
Sometimes, all someone needs is a smile and a word of encouragement. Many working moms are struggling to keep mentally healthy, in addition to their other preoccupations and worries. Just be kind!
Offer assistance if you can
Can you spare a roll of toilet paper, some extra money, or just resources on funding (state or federal) and (trustworthy) information you can share? Your contribution can make the difference in someone’s day, so if you find yourself in a situation where you can help, consider doing so.
Overall, working moms are some of the hardest hit through the coronavirus case, economically, physically, and mentally. They also are the pillars of many, if not most families, who may not able to survive without them. As such, the burden to help and assist working mothers is on all of us, and the responsibility to help our common duty.
As a working mom, what challenges are you facing during the coronavirus crisis?
“You’re my person”: When Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) uttered the now famously coined phrase to her best friend Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) as she shares her decision to put her name down as an emergency contact for her upcoming abortion, it took on a life of its own, embodying our primal human need for deep, healthy, fulfilling friendships. From Sex and the City to Issa Rae’s Awkward Black Girl, stories of female friendships and girl squads have graced our TV screens and subconscious for decades, confirming that as working women and working moms, our friendships play an important role in our lives. However successful we may be professionally, or even family-wise, friendships with other women hold a sacred place. For many, if not most of us, they are a reminder of our original relationship with our mothers, aunts, sisters and other female pillars of our lives, as well as a reflection of our own self-love. This can make the dynamics of our relationships with our sister friends beautifully complex, uniquely fulfilling, and sometimes, downright frustrating.
However, in the modern era of social media, lacking inter-personal connection, and negative media messages around female friendships, it can be challenging to reap these benefits if, and when, we do not foster and nurture healthy relationships with other women. Healthy relationships based on trust, openness, vulnerability, rather than fear, distrust, and anger. It’s the same fear, distrust and anger that end up being translated into gossip, “mean women”, Queen Bee Syndrome, and exclusion, to cite a few.
In my own relationships, I’ve had the privilege to experience the beautiful openness, trust, and vulnerability that makes female friendships a unique bond, and also the heart-wrenching fear, betrayal, and distrust that rob us of the empowering impact of these connections. I’ve learnt, and am still learning (and probably always will) from my positive and negative experiences, as well as my mistakes and mishaps, and growing into a better understanding of the sacred bond between women:
Friendship is a process:
In the era of instant messages and micro-waved networking, we can be tempted to jump in and out of friendships, without the realization it is a marathon, not a race. It’s a process that requires this one thing we cannot microwave: time. It takes time to know someone, see them act in different contexts, build a history with them. It takes time to face and surmount obstacles, enjoy moments together, and deepen bonds. Without it being a process, a friendship can hardly survive, let alone flourish.
A fruitful friendship is a friendship that evolves as both individuals involved evolve as well.
This is where so many friendships reach an impasse, especially among women, as we often tend to not voice our concerns in relationships. I often hear some people say: “I hope you never change” to their friends, which tends to make me shudder every single time. Not expecting those around us, especially our friends, to evolve and change for the better, is to keep them stuck in the same place for our own convenience and comfort. If you’re my friend, I wish you to evolve, to grow, to change into the best version of yourself, even if your growth requires me to grow as well and challenge myself to meet you at a place that is mutually beneficial.
A fruitful friendship is one that evolves. Developing healthy friendships requires shedding the fear of evolving, and that of our friends evolving as well. Some of my greatest relationships are friendships that grow as both individuals grow, and as we both discover new facets of ourselves and each other, and engage on a path on continuous, positive, even exhilarating evolution.
Don’t be afraid to release what no longer serves.
Developing healthy female friendships also requires leveraging the power of releasing what no longer serves. Very often, we allow history to determine relationships that no longer have a place in our destiny. It’s these same relationships that in turn, prevent us from growing into our full potential and achieve our destiny, as we settle for the comfort of familiarity and ease.
Healthy friendships challenge you, push you to be a better version of yourself, and fulfill you to the brim. They don’t leave you drained, empty or wanting for more, but instead felling supported, valued, cherished, and challenged. If not, it may be time to release them, gently, peacefully, with the understanding that we’re creating more space for relationships that fit us better, for our mutual benefit.
All in all, developing healthy female friendships is like making an investment in our well-being, health and potential. Yet, it’s also a process of introspection, self-knowledge and character development that requires choosing who can sit at the table of your life and on what terms. In the end, it may be one of the most important processes of your personal and professional life.
Welcome to Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
Business Insider shares 5 conferences for women of color in tech to help beat gender inequality in the field and how to get a coveted spot ;
Got money on your mind? Actress, writer and wearer of many hats Issa Rae reveals to Black Enterprise that multiple streams of income are the key to success;
Working Moms, we see you! Working Mother shares with us a heartfelt testimony from Serena Williams about the hardships of working motherhood, and we’re right there with her;
Ever cried at work? Inc. explains why it’s ok (We all did it);
Afraid of public speaking? Entrepreneur teaches you how to give a presentation like a pro;
Tax season is here, and so are email attachment scams as well! Lifehacker tips you on a few tips to avoid the scams;
I’ve been trying to eat less meat these days, and Corporette is helping with their 6 easy strategies to go meat-less;
We’re ready for Spring, and WhoWhatWear is sharing 8 spring trends that are technically for free;
In the midst of all the talk about purpose, business success stories, happy entrepreneurial endings, and so on and so forth, it can be tempting to look down at your current career. As you stroll through the pages of Instagram, you may even be experiencing some serious symptoms of “career envy”, as you dream of being your own boss or waking up like Beyonce. That is, until reality hits you tenderly strokes your cheek as you roll out of bed on Monday morning and proceed to make it through your usual daily commute. Does this mean it’s virtually impossible to find fulfillment in the job you’ve got? Do you have to suffer through the ins and outs of your current job, waiting for the perfect career or business? Or are you destined to endlessly hustle towards your dream while constantly feeling dissatisfied? I would respectfully disagree…
I was there, in that dark place where I believed that unless I hit the perfect career jackpot, I would never find fulfillment. I know so many other working women who also were, and still are, there, dragging themselves in and outside of work, waiting for that elusive perfect opportunity and/or hustling to no end. Some are striving and building while they are waiting, while others are teetering on the edge of giving up. Yet, the missing piece we seldom consider is the one that encourages us to find fulfillment in our current careers and positions, even as we strive for more. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until a fellow working woman and coach of mine taught me to strategize my approach to fulfillment that my entire career changed for the better.
If you are asking yourself this question: “How do I find fulfillment in a job or a career I don’t love or even like?”, here are three questions I challenge you to consider:
How can you combine your gifts and your acquired abilities?
This is the one single question that changed the trajectory of my career. As a natural-born writer with a passion for gender diversity borne from being raised by a single working mother, and with degrees and a professional background in business and accounting, I believed the various parts of my experience were totally separate and incompatible, when in fact they were all aligned with my purpose. Fast forward a few years, I find fulfillment in writing about and teaching business, accounting and gender diversity. The various, and quite different parts of my experience are being combined with my natural gifts to serve the people and causes I most believe in.
What are your natural gifts and talents, and how can you combine them with the acquired abilities you’ve gathered through your career? You could use your ease to network to facilitate instrumental meetings in your area, for instance. If your project management skills have always been your strength, you could volunteer to manage a given project in or outside of your work. As a gifted speaker, you may be able to serve as an event presenter in your department or company. These are simple examples of combining your talents with your acquired knowledge and abilities, right where you are.
How does your career/job help people?
I’ve learnt from experience and from talking to fellow working women that service is an extremely important component of the fulfillment factor at work. It gives your work a higher dimension, one that extends beyond deliverables and tasks, and creates a strong sense of engagement and community. Above all, service gives work meaning and impact. Unfortunately, many of us are missing this part in our careers or jobs, unless we’re saving lives or changing the world.
Can you consider how your job is helping others? If in doubt, could you start the conversation in your teams or departments? As an accountant for instance, you may not feel like your work impacts anyone. However, without accurate financial records and financial statements, the entire financial fabric of our society would be at risk of compromise and fraud, stripping investors, creditors and stakeholders of the trust needed to invest and grow our economy. As a hairdresser, your work is at the core of many women’s (and men’s) sense of self-esteem, community and belonging. So, let me ask you again, how does your job help people?
How can you improve your life outside of work?
In many, if not most instances, our dissatisfaction with our work may be in direct relation with our general dissatisfaction about life, and vice-versa. It’s hard to be motivated at work when your home life is a wreck. Finding the strength to do great work is challenging when you feel like you’re failing as a parent at home. There are so many other examples of the correlation between life outside of work and life at work.
How can you improve your life outside of work? For you, it may be meeting more people, and having more fulfilling friendships and relationships. Or you may have to invest into family therapy and improve the atmosphere in your home. Maybe you need to forgive your parents for neglecting you as a child, so you can stop struggling to gain approval at work at the cost of your sanity and ineffectiveness. Let me ask you again, how can you improve your life outside of work, so your work life improves as well?
While we should all be striving for better, finding fulfillment in a career we don’t necessarily love is possible. It starts with a few hard but crucial questions…
Do you believe you can find fulfillment in a job you don’t love?
