Welcome to Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
Are you a woman entrepreneur? The Access Project is nonprofit, seed-stage startup accelerator for women-owned businesses to help you grow your business during this pandemic;
Working Mother celebrates the unique and beautiful ways C-Suite women of color have redefined executive presence;
How adaptable are you? The Corporate Sister list 3 ways to increase your Adaptability Quotient (AQ) during this crisis;
In a move that may be followed by many a company, Black Enterprise reports Twitter is allowing employees to work from home forever;
Business Insider lists the mental health problems caused by quarantine, and what you can do to prevent them;
Looking for a money savings challenge? Making Sense of Cents offers a 52-week money challenge you can’t pass up;
Looking for new reads? The New York Times lists 10 new book recommendations this week;
Looking for yummy salad recipes to add to your Spring list? Serious Eats lists 18 Spring salads to wave winter buh-bye;
Worried about food shopping during this pandemic? Refinery 29 suggests super-fresh sites that deliver fruits and veggies to your doorstep;
Safe at home? All the Pretty Birds has some fun and effective DIY beauty products and remedies to try at home.
In today’s ever-evolving world and workplace, and in the face of crisis such as the COVID-19 pandemic, being flexible and adaptable has become a necessity. It also happens to be one of the most important attributes of career success for working women. According to this Randstad study, 51% of women list adaptability and flexibility as key attributes to succeed in their careers, even ahead of teamwork (35%) and technology (37%).
There have been lots of talks about Intellectual Quotient (IQ) and Emotional Quotient (EQ), especially in the realm of professional success. However, much less has been discussed about Adaptability Quotient (AQ). According to this 2004 study published in the Institute of Health Records and Information Management (IHRIM)journal, AQ constitutes a “statistically significant predictor of business transformation success”, as derived from the study of 15 global corporations going through strategic change. Business growth company Advantage defines AQ in the business sense as “ the ability to adjust course, product, service, and strategy in response to unanticipated changes in the market”.
In simpler words, AQ measures one’s ability to adapt to change. In reality, this is nothing new. Humans have survived for millions of years because of our very capacity to adapt to constant climate change, as quoted in this article of Scientific American. In his global best-seller Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind, renowned historian and author Yuval Noah Harari describes the stories of humankind’s conquest of the world by thriving, surviving and adapting to changing conditions. At a gender level, Melinda Coetzee and Nisha Harris’ 2008 study of call center agents published in the South African Journal of Psychology demonstrates that females display higher levels of career adaptability than males. A more recent study exploring gender and personality traits as predictors of entrepreneurs’ cognitive adaptability also concludes significant differences exist between males and females.
As working women, we’re certainly gifted with unique adaptability skills. In order to continue turning these into competitive advantages for ourselves, as well as our personal and professional organizations, it’s important that we focus on a few principles:
Opportunity is everywhere
I once worked for a Senior Manager who had this inscription on her desk: OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE. When I started working in her team, she asked me to read it aloud. Instead of seeing “Opportunity is now here”, I read “Opportunity is nowhere”. At the time, my mindset was reflected in what I was seeing in this seemingly innocuous inscription. Instead of seeing opportunity everywhere, I was tempted to dismiss it. So are many among us…
Developing adaptability is also a matter of seeing opportunity everywhere, especially in the places where there seems to be none. It’s seeing opportunity in the layoff, the job loss, the relationship breakdown, the economic downturn. Are you seeing opportunity in your current circumstances?
Curiosity does not kill the cat, it makes you more adaptable!
Remember the proverb: “Curiosity killed the cat”? Used to warn against the danger of experimentation, it’s also reflective of many a damaging mindset. As working women, we’re warned against overstepping the social boundaries restricting us away from areas, professions and even attitudes traditionally reserved for men. Little girls are admonished against stepping away from feminine territory…
When it comes to being adaptable, curiosity does not kill the cat. What it does kills are false, sexist, stereotypes, slow progress and lack of innovation. Curiosity creates innovation, enhances resourcefulness and engenders progress. Sounds like a win to me!
The BIG picture is the BEST picture
Adaptability requires being able to see the big picture, the entire forest as opposed to just a few trees. It is the best picture from which to create a context in which adaptability becomes a key advantage.
This is also the picture from which we can create systems allowing us to navigate complex and difficult realities, such as systems to tackle working motherhood effectively, or systems to move over glass ceilings and brick walls at work.
Now more than ever, working women must leverage and continue to develop their AQ to face and improve the ever-changing landscape of work and life we find ourselves in. Now more than ever, organizations everywhere and society at large must learn to empower working women to create the change needed to not just survive, but also thrive trough adaptability to times of change.
“Who does she think she is to…go for the promotion, speak up in the meeting, start the business, decide to run for office, buy that house/car/dress, decide to not get married, decide to take/quit the job, open her mouth and speak up, say no…etc?“The most prevalent and silent narrative for working women is the one in which we remain quiet, agree with the status quo, and appear non-threatening, whether at work, in our relationships or at home.
So many of us have been conditioned under this narrative, which makes us even question those among us who dare to even think they can be different, break barriers, chase her dreams or even speak up… And that requires courage to stand out, be disliked, lose out (in appearance)…but THAT is how we change the narrative, not just our own, but all of our narratives in the workplace, in the kitchen, in the our houses and the House of Representatives, on the street, for the kids, for the little girl who is not sure whether she should speak up or not…
Daring to succeed on your own terms as a working woman is a journey. One that may require you to un-learn many of the pre-conceived notions, re-define our own version of success, before moving forward:
Unlearn and let go of what is not serving you
What we perceive as our reality is often the product of notions and definitions we’ve received for as long as we can remember. For instance, the notion that a woman must reach certain milestones, such as being married or having children by a certain age, or being restricted to only certain careers, or attaining a certain professional level by a certain age.
Having been accepted into our subconscious minds, these have become the ways in which we see our reality. Fortunately, as we evolve and grow in our personal and professional lives, many of these pre-conceived notions end up hindering us more than they help us.
Re-define your own vision of success
Learning to re-define our own vision of success can be quite the exercise if you’ve been accustomed to a certain view of what success means. Maybe you grew up in a family or community in which success is viewed as having the ideal family, the perfect white picket fenced home, and two and a half adorable kids. Maybe you were molded by an ambitious mother for whom professional success was a necessity.
Yet did you ever stop to define your own version of success? The one that fills you up with energy, motivation, but also a sense of fulfillment and purpose. It may not include a thriving career like your mother’s, or a thriving family life like your friend’s. Yet it must include what you define as success, independently of others’ opinions and thoughts.
Take action and move forward!
One of the most challenging parts of this process may be to actually dare to take action and turn your vision of success into reality. You may have to defy expectations and quit the job, or start the business, or move far away to achieve your dreams. Whatever it is, it will require you to act differently, and have the courage to move forward with your plans and dreams.
All in all, daring to succeed on your own terms is a difficult but rewarding journey, one that will test every pre-conceived idea you’ve had and challenge your view of yourself and the world around you. However, it is ultimately the one decision that will put your life on the most authentic and successful trajectory, on your own true, purposeful terms.
This is my son’s usual question towards the end of the day on the days I work remotely. With this current pandemic, it’s been promoted to a daily inquiry. One that has made my mother’s heart tighten up a bit on one hand, but on the other hand has pushed me to better manage my work remotely, and show up better at home and at work.
Whether you’ve been working from home for quite some time, or have been keeping safe at home under the current coronavirus pandemic, managing your career remotely requires some adjustments. This is especially important for working moms, for whom home also rhymes with an entire other set of family and administrative commitments. As we’ve seen and experienced all too well, this pandemic is taking its highest toll on working moms whose share of responsibilities has now been multiplied while their share of equity is once again being put on the backburner.
While I do work from home some of the time when I’m not teaching, transitioning to being fully online under the current crisis has been quite the adjustment. Like so many, I’ve had to start thinking about my career differently, and pivot to devising more effective ways to produce and deliver my work without negatively impacting its quality as well as the fulfillment I get from it. For me, it’s been learning to teach online and set up ways to communicate with my students, colleagues and consulting clients in a way that allows us to still maintain a sense of connection and humanity despite the virtual nature of our interactions. From virtual meetings to remote classes, it’s been not just a practical shift, but also a mental one. As a working mom, it also means adjusting to the new normal of homeschooling, sharing a space with my spouse and kids, and adjusting to mine and our family’s new needs and expectations.
It is well-known that working women and working moms have had a notoriously challenging time with remote careers. The lack of direct contact and feedback, as well as the many false assumptions around working women, coupled with the perpetuation of gender inequity in the workplace, have created difficult conditions for remote work for women in general, and moms in particular.
Yet, managing your career remotely does not have to be an exercise in painful adjustments, or result in a career crisis altogether. Here are a few tips I’m learning to implement when managing my own career remotely as a working mom:
Clarify expectations
In the whirlwind of email communications and remote assignments, miscommunication can easily occur and expectations can get lost in the shuffle. Whereas having a quick conversation to clarify goals and objectives in-between meetings can be easily achieved in person, doing so remotely is more challenging.
I’ve learnt to clarify expectations and assignments as soon as feasible, and preferably before planning for and tackling these. Ideally, doing so at the beginning of every period, be it weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly, helps set clear deliverables to strive towards. Keeping track of these clarifications via email or through another form of documentation can also go a long way to provide something to go back to in case of misunderstanding or if things veer off track.
Request regular feedback
Working remotely increases the chance for miscommunication and missed expectations. This is where requesting regular feedback can help reduce the gap in communication, while also providing a reliable source of information and evaluation.
It’s also important as a way to protect oneself in case of misunderstanding and miscommunication. In addition to just requesting feedback, ensuring it is documented helps with keeping a valuable resource to go back to, in addition to powerful protection for the future.
Keep track of your progress
When it comes to remote work, distance makes progress harder to track, especially for working moms, as we can be pulled in multiple directions at once. This is why keeping track of our progress becomes crucial. This can be done through regular notes, or by keeping a more or less traditional time tracker or timesheet.
Not only does keeping track of one’s progress help with addressing outside questions and requests, but also in terms of re-evaluating how we’ve used our time and if any adjustments are needed.
Overall, working remotely as a working woman and mom certainly carries with it its share of challenges. However, being proactive about clarifying expectations, requesting regular feedback, and keeping track of one’s progress, is key to not only ensuring that we’re productive and effective, but also to protect our careers.
What other tips do you have as a working woman and mom when it comes to managing your career remotely?
It’s not from me. It’s from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus. And no, I’m no expert at ancient Greek philosophy, but I, like so many of us, have certainly had the privilege (and pain) to learn about this adage the hard way. As in, when change strikes when you least expect. Or when crisis hits, and it seems life may never return to “normal”, as in this pandemic we’re currently experiencing.
There is so much talk about returning to “normal”, to our “normal” family and friends, our “normal” schools, jobs and businesses, to our “normal” way of doing things… Yet, we’re all changing, growing and adapting through this, and so are our families, friends, institutions, businesses, and our society as a whole…Nothing will be quite “normal” after this, and nothing really has been “normal” about our lives as people, as working women and moms, for the simple reason that change has always been present…Family change, moves, relocations, job losses, job gains, bankruptcy, divorce, new marriage, new baby, new job, new business: change has always been the only constant…
A 2009 survey by Mc Kinsey & Co.of over 800 women serving as global business leaders showed that leadership behaviors of women leaders prove critical in navigating through a global economic crisis. Additionally, the survey also revealed that companies with at least three female executives achieve a higher score on key organizational dimensions. This goes to demonstrate that when it comes to handling change and thriving through crisis, women are certainly well-equipped both personally and professionally.
However, it can be easy for many of us, as working women and moms, to doubt our own ability to navigate change and effectively handle times of crisis, despite the undeniable evidence to the contrary. Some of the tips below may help not just in reminding ourselves of our incredible resilience, adaptability and agility, but also as guideposts to keep cultivating these:
Consider the BIG picture
I’ve learnt when the going gets tough, and the solutions are not readily available, to stay out of the weeds and details of situations, whether personally or professionally. I used to be stuck on details and be lost, instead of looking at the whole picture and see helpful patterns. If you just look at the soccer ball during the game, you easily get lost. When you start looking at the players’ patterns, you can see the entire game.
What are the patterns you can see in your situation? What are they teaching you personally and professionally? Are you seeing patterns repeating themselves, and what can you do about it?
Ask different questions
One of the first skills I learnt as a brand new associate auditor straight out of school was to ask the right questions. Not any questions, but the right questions. In situations when the solutions are not clear, like in this crisis, you may want to ask different questions that open up different, wider possibilities.
Questions like: “What seems possible today?”, “What can I learn here?”, “What did I not expect and what can I do with that?”
Experiment and learn
In a situation of crisis, it’s easy to just pinpoint a goal and try to get there. When this all started, my initial goal was to try and keep everything as “normal” as possible until the crisis ended. Needless to say, that didn’t work…Instead I had to look at unconventional and unexpected places that showed some promise or at least a glimmer of hope, like using technology to teach, or talking to my kids differently, or creating new rituals in my couple so we didn’t kill each other before the virus got to us (I know, that’s terrible humor)…
As working women and moms, we’re not just wired to survive times of crisis and change, but to thrive and rise through them…
Who better than a working mom juggling the challenges of raising kids, running a household and striving in her career, knows how to work under pressure? Not many. During times of uncertainty and challenge, we can all learn so much from working moms who don’t just survive, but actually thrive during tough times.
Being and watching other working moms successfully juggle life and work, starting with my own mother, has taught me infinitely more than I could learn from the best crisis management courses. There is something about facing days filled with raising little humans, nurturing relationships and building careers, while growing and developing into the best version of yourself, that makes you resilient in the face of the worst high-pressure situations, such as the coronavirus pandemic we’re currently facing. Here are some of the best tips I’ve gathered from being, watching and talking to working moms around me to work successfully under pressure:
Have a “gotta do what you’ve got to do” mentality
Decide that no matter what, you’ve literally got to do what you’ve got to do. This is the mentality I’ve seen exceptional working moms adopt when at a professional or personal impasse. There is no giving up when you have a family to feed, people to help, organizations to support and life goals to reach.
Whether it’s looking for a new job, starting a side gig, waking up earlier, you’ve just got to do what you what you’ve got to do!
Be resourceful
Different times call for different resources, and no one knows this better than a working mom. Resourcefulness is the name of the game when you have to deal with family change of plans at the last minute, run to pick up a sick kid, or shine during an online meeting while potty-training a toddler.
When crisis hits, don’t hesitate to ditch traditional ways of doing things for more resourceful options.
Decide and focus on your priorities
Challenging times call for increased focus. When circumstances get tough, there’s limited time to handle every single task. Working moms who strive under pressure know what to prioritize and what to let go of. There is no room for perfectionism when you’re under pressure, so you must zoom in on your most important priorities.
What are your priorities? How can you manage to attend to these while keeping on going during difficult times? It may mean waking earlier to care for the kids first before tackling work, or put money aside for essential needs at the expense of other wants.
Learn from experience
Experience, especially the tough kind, is what makes resilient and strong working moms. This experience is often made of its fair share of failures, setbacks, and learn-on-the-spot kind of moments. When the pressure mounts, it becomes crucial to dip into your reserves of experience to keep going, and actually to perform better than before.
What have you learnt from experience, especially during times of prior crisis and challenge? How can you apply to the current challenges you’re facing?
Dare to ask for help
Under pressure, it can be tempting to want to do it all on your own. Yet one thing many working moms know is trying to handle it all does not work. While asking for help may initially feel intimidating and a blow to our egos, it actually is a sign of strength.
The most resilient people are also those who are not afraid to show their vulnerability, namely by reaching out to seek assistance. This is especially important during challenging times that may require more resources, time and energy that we may have at our disposal.
All in all, there’s a lot we can learn from working moms when it comes to working under pressure, from having a tough mentality to displaying resourcefulness and daring to ask for help.
What simple tips do you have to work under pressure?
As work is increasingly done remotely, especially in the face of the coronavirus pandemic, more meetings are being conducted online. While the general rules of an effective meeting apply remotely as well, the change in environment and setting does alter the way we run and perform in an online meeting. This change in environment can be especially challenging for working women and working moms, who may find thatremote meetings make it even harder for women to be heard and stand out.
According to this study by psychologist Victoria Brescoll, work meetings in general perpetuate gender inequities in the workplace, as men speaking up more often tend to be viewed as more competent while women would be rated less competent when speaking up more often. These inequities in turn tend be amplified in online environments. Additionally, women are largely in charge of household responsibilities, and as such are more likely to be preoccupied and distracted by sheer virtue of being home. As such, the same traditional gender roles that may overrule workplaces and households may also take over during online meetings.
As a working mom and introvert, switching from physical meetings to remote, online ones has certainly been an adjustment. First, the online etiquette is different from that of live meetings, which affects the way participants contribute and stand out. Second, the way an online meeting is run has significant repercussions on its effectiveness and outcome. Last but not least, the incidence of potential technical difficulties can discourage contributors as well.
So how do you stand out as a working woman in an online meeting, when you may be worried about your kids barging in the room at any moment, or preoccupied about dinner in addition to all your work deliverables? How do you manage all your competing priorities while still appearing professional and doing your best work? What do you make of less than ideal circumstances when your goal is to keep forging ahead successfully both personally and professionally? While the answers may vary from one woman to another, there are a few steps that may help:
Be intentional about the meeting: What are you bringing to the table and what are you hoping to get out of it?
Online meetings, just like meetings in general, can be huge time-wasters, especially considering the lessened physical interaction and remote environment, in which so many things can go under the radar and be unnoticed. It’s the reason why I’ve learnt to be more intentional about meetings in general, and about online meetings in particular.
What are you able to contribute to the meeting? What are you hoping to get out of the meeting? The clearer you are about your answers to these questions, the better the outcome.
Prepare ahead of time
Advance preparation for any meeting cannot be overemphasized. For online meetings, it’s even more crucial and includes more elements such as:
The appropriate online etiquette
The agenda of the meeting
The location of the files to be discussed, if any
The meeting participants
Any technical arrangements in case you have to present something for instance
Etc…
This also means testing the technology beforehand, to make sure you will not have any issues accessing the meeting or contributing to it. Also make sure you have additional options such as audio dial-in, in case your internet connection becomes unstable.
If possible, share your video
In the absence of physical interaction, picking up on facial and bodily cues becomes crucial during online meetings. While there are certainly instances when you’re not able to appear on video, as much as possible when you’re able to do so, allowing yourself to be seen makes a difference in the way you’re perceived and how your contribution to the meeting is received. This helps personalize the conversation, and adds another layer of professionalism and personality to your presence and contribution.
As such, showing up with a professional appearance is recommended. While it can be tempting to adopt a more laid-back style at home, a professional look while at work, even remotely, can go a long way towards maintaining and improving your professional reputation.
Don’t be afraid to speak up!
It may be intimidating and a bit cumbersome to speak up in an online environment. Actually, it may be quite tempting to hide behind one’s screen and lay low. However, this is where your capacity to adapt to changing circumstances and still be reliable and consistent is tested.
If online meetings are intimidating to you, consider rehearsing your potential remarks and contributions ahead of time. Jot down the ideas you intend to share, so you can rely back on your notes during the meeting. Additionally, consider using the chatting capabilities, if available, to share additional insights and remarks.
Prepare to deal with last-minute mishaps like a pro!
When working from home, especially as a working woman and mom, mishaps are bound to happen. I’ve had my kids pop up during online meetings, my phone accidentally go off or crash on the floor, or the doorbell ring off the hook in the middle of a virtual presentation…Things just happen!
Mentally prepare for the possibility of mishaps, so as not to lose your focus and countenance when these occur (because they will happen). Even better, you may choose to forewarn the other participants, if you suspect an interruption during the meeting, and have some sort of a contingency plan in place, just in case. Whatever may happen, try and keep your cool. This is also how you demonstrate leadership and adaptability, and stand out as a true leader.
Keep the human touch!
Don’t forget to keep the human touch, even remotely! Smiling, being courteous and considerate never go out of style, even and especially in online environments. Showing respect and appreciation for others, while still bringing your contributions to the online table, are also signs of great leadership and personality.
All in all, standing out in an online work meeting may be far from easy for working women and moms, due to consistent gender inequities and the unequal distribution of responsibilities on the home front. However, positive change can be created with a few consistent steps and actions…
How are you managing and standing out in online meetings as a working woman and mom?
