It’s the middle of summer, and I am trying out a new African restaurant with a colleague and a new professional acquaintance while nerding out on artificial intelligence during a work conference. Here I was, actually enjoying myself and advancing my career, while building in some fun and networking along the way. I also happened to meet other working women and moms, who brought their family and kids along, combining family time with career enrichment. But wait, is it actually possible to enrich your career in the summer, while still making time for family time and fun? To my own recent surprise, I have to say it is…
If you have ever wondered if the summer months are not exactly as valuable as the rest of the year in terms of career growth, you’re far from being the only one. For many of us, especially as working women and moms, summer can seem too slow professionally and too busy personally to really push our careers forward. It may even seem as if in terms of career advancement, the summer months may be partially, or even worse, totally wasted.
Yet, while summer is frequently a time of slowing down at work, especially for working parents as school is out for a few months, it can also be a great time to refresh and revitalize your career. As an ex-corporate girl who’s reconverted in academia, summer has gone from being a slower, somewhat aimless time at work, to being a strategic time for my career without necessarily taking away the “fun” of summer.
Here are 10 effective, yet enjoyable ways to revitalize your career in the summer, without sacrificing your summer fun:
Set A Vision for Your Career in the Summer
For many years, I did not even think of setting career goals for the summer months. Without setting a vision for these months, they ended up being aimless and directionless, even despite getting work done.
Setting summer career goals has allowed me to set a vision for these few months, and have a sense of purpose and motivation throughout. Some of my usual summer career goals include some enjoyable networking and learning, rest, (yes, rest!), traveling, and working on a flexible schedule.
Look into Flexible Work Opportunities:
Speaking of flexible schedule, being able to have flexibility in the summer has been a game, and career changer for me. As a working mom with my kids at home during the summer, not to mention travel and vacation plans, being able to build my own schedule goes a long way.
This is where exploring flexible schedule and/or work opportunities comes in handy during the summer months. This also requires planning ahead if flexibility is not already built into your schedule.
Have a Self-Care Plan
My summers are sacred, and part of the sacredness, other than the fact that I’m a summer baby (hello July babies), is the slower pace that favors more self-care. As a mom, not having to drop off the kids at school every morning, and being able to work on a flexible schedule, opens up the possibility of integrating more self-care in my daily routine.
Whether it’s brunch with the girls, or an early morning walk, or a more consistent exercise routine, making a self-care plan you can stick to is key. Often, this also allows to adopt and keep new self-care habits that can become part of our lifestyle.
Develop and Refine your Personal Brand Vision
One of the advantages of summer’s slower pace is the space to think! One of the aspects of my career and business that I take the time to revisit in the summer is my personal brand. Your personal brand defines how you are perceived, and what sets you apart in your field or discipline.
Taking the time during the slower months of summer to think about this can also help you develop your personal brand statement; which comes in handy when it’s time to clarify your career goals, or network more effectively.
Switch up your networking:
Speaking of networking, summer can be an ideal time to network more effectively, and probably, more enjoyably. As the slower pace of work may allow for a more relaxed perspective and lessened stakes as well, it can be a great time to attend industry conferences or seminars.
I’ve fallen in love with work conferences during the summer months. As many conferences encourage attendees to bring their families along, they can be a perfect opportunity to combine work and family time. During the slower summer weeks, they can also be a nice change of pace and an opportunity to experience new places and meet new people.
Build up your skills in an enjoyable way:
I know, I know, who wants to build up skills during the summer when all you want is lay on the beach and catch a break? That’s what I thought until I considered more enjoyable ways of learning during the summer months.
One of the most enjoyable ways for me to learn and build up skills is through books. Summer reading is one of my absolute favorites. Podcasting, books, informal learning are also enjoyable ways to build up your skills.
Refresh your workspace
Last but not least, while you’re on a summer refresh mood, why not use it to refresh your workspace? I love taking this slower time to declutter, redecorate and spruce up my workspace with less work pressure. As a mom, this is also something I can involve the kids in (or use as a formative summer experience or family activity).
As a working woman and mom, while the summer months can be especially busy (hello summer ceiling for working moms), they can also make for a great opportunity to enrich our careers. From setting a vision, to having a self-care plan and networking, we can turn this time into a breath of fresh work air.
It is often said that moms make great leaders, probably the best leaders. The invaluable, often innate skills that come from motherhood, from intuition, to organization and effective team management, are also described as main leadership qualities; qualities which should logically translate well from the home to the office and vice-versa. Yet, I remember asking myself, in the middle of a rather heated exchange with my teenagers on a random Tuesday while trying to process the next batch of laundry and remembering the appointments of the day, how much of this holds true in my own experience. If motherhood makes for great leaders, does effective leadership translate into effective motherhood and vice-versa, crossing from the office to the home?
I grew up with a single mother who worked in and outside of the home. In stark contrast to the images of leadership I was exposed to through both my academic and my professional journey, where leadership was mostly male, my first image of leadership was female. It is not until years later as a working mother myself, that I began grappling with the concept of leadership and what it means for working women and moms at the intersection of work and home…
Despite the common traditional assumption that men are the leaders of the home, much of the home’s “silent” leadership is actually carried by women, whether they work exclusively in the home, or both in and outside of the home. As a matter of fact, the “silent” but oh so meaningful contributions of women make up $7.6 trillion of the Unites States’ annual Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Unpaid labor is defined by the Organization of Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) as “non-compensated time spent completing domestic tasks such as caring for children, the elderly, or other household or non-household members, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and shopping for household goods, among others.”
Yet, what is not often talked about is what happens at the intersection of leadership at work and home for working mothers. How do we, as working moms, carry this leadership in our homes? How do we defy traditional norms that do not recognize us as leaders, in or outside the home? And how do we transition from leadership at work to leadership at home?
Let me preface by saying I strongly believe leadership, especially for women, is an innate skill, an ability that ought to be developed and nurtured internally first, rather than acquired and developed from the outside. This is why so many leadership trainings for women often fail to produce authentic and sustainable results. Instead of targeting the development of innate leadership qualities that already exist in women, they tend to focus on imprinting externally developed, and traditional patriarchal ideas of leadership. What these programs unsuccessfully attempt to do then, is to erroneously fix the outside, forgetting about the importance of authentically working from the inside first. Now imagine these same patriarchal models of leadership being brought back in the home, perpetuating a flagrant lack of alignment and authenticity in the process of raising children and running households…
As a working mom and career woman, I tried bringing back home this patriarchal model of leadership, based on so-called effective ways of leading ranging from assertiveness to even aggressiveness at times. And…need I say it did not work, and especially not with children, never mind rebellious teenagers…Children, as well as teenagers, can sense lack of authenticity from a mile away. While I observed our children effectively responding to my husband’s unique and very personal leadership style, I could plainly see they were not responding as well to my own professionally imported style of leading…This prompted me to continue exploring what leadership means for women at the intersection of work and home. This exploration has led me to these three principles that have helped me ease the confusion between traditional leadership, mostly applied at work, and leadership at home, and tie both into an approach to leadership for working moms:
Develop one uniform leadership identity across work and home:
What kind of leader am I? How do I lead, not just in the workplace, but everywhere where I can have an impact? And how can I ensure my leadership remains authentic while still acting for the greater good?
I believe leadership is intrinsically tied to the very core of our beings. Who you are when no one is looking is who you are as a leader. I struggled with this for a long time, especially as a woman building a career in mostly male-dominated environments. I’m a quiet leader, so my style of leadership is not exactly aligned with the most mainstream and popular ideas of leadership either.
Reconciling my various identities as a Black woman, a professional and an introvert into one uniform leadership identity has been (and still is) a journey. One that is a precious opportunity to know myself better and evolve with the various seasons of my life; but also one that allows me to dig deeper into what my authentic style of leadership is.
No leadership battles! Create a multi-leadership environment
Am I the leader or is my husband the leader? If he is the leader, how can I lead? Should I even be thinking of leading?
As a woman raised in a single-parent, female-led home, in a traditionally patriarchal West African society in the Catholic faith, these questions were bound to cross my mind. Men are supposed to be the leaders in the home. Then how do we introduce the concept of leading as women? Yet, if we do not contribute to the leadership of our homes, then what are we doing? And if we’re learning to lead outside the home, do we just leave all that at the door when we get home?
I believe we are all leaders in our own capacity and in various roles. While we cannot all lead in the same areas at the same time, we can take various leadership roles at different times. What this means may vary from one marriage or family to another. But the fact remains that leadership can be shared, with various levels of responsibility and accountability being put in place between partners but also between partners and children.
Be flexible in your approach to leadership
As a working woman and mom, I know seasons of life and work rapidly change. What worked yesterday may not work today, and vice-versa. Learning to be flexible has been a key in my own growth and development as a leader in my own life and work. Being willing to gauge and re-evaluate my own sense of leadership, taking into account feedback from others, and forgiving myself in the process, has allowed me to continue to be true to myself.
Flexibility in how we approach and apply leadership at home and at work will allow you to adjust as you pursue your own leadership journey. It will also allow you to navigate the various, and inevitable, phases of life and work ahead, while authentically leading as yourself, from your very core.
For working women and moms, reconciling how to lead at home and how to lead at work, can create a world of confusion. By developing one uniform approach to leadership, sharing leadership at home, and allowing flexibility in the process, the journey can be made much easier, and most importantly, much more authentic and purposeful…
How do you reconcile leading at home and leading at work?
This is a question I often asked myself coming up in my own career. As a young Black woman and immigrant starting my career in corporate America, leadership was hardly ever mentioned around me. After all, I felt lucky enough and happy to have “snatched” a job after college…Just having a seat at the table, any table of any significance, felt enough of a privilege…
Fast-forward many career ups and downs, a full career transition into academia, and my under-developed views on leadership have quite significantly morphed. What I realized along my journey is that given the opportunity and space to do so, women can not only bring their own, intrinsic leadership to the table of their careers, but they can also develop it in ways that are truly authentic to them and hence more effective and powerful overall.
Yet, it has taken me a long time to even begin to think of myself as a leader. Leadership was not exactly one of the topics discussed around the dinner table in my single-parent home growing up in Senegal, a majority Muslim country where the majority of leaders were (and still are) men. However, I had the privilege of seeing my mother as the leader of our matriarchal household. Without realizing it then, I was already being primed to seeing women as leaders. Yet, I was not prepared to act on this image of leadership…
It’s not until now, decades later, that I started asking myself the question” “What does it mean to lead as a woman in a patriarchal society struggling to move beyond gender bias and barriers?”
Does it mean breaking the glass ceiling, or the concrete ceiling or wall for Black women, or the bamboo ceiling for Asian women? Does it mean ascending to the highest levels of one’s career? Does it even mean being recognized for your work? Is that leadership for women? Or is it merely the reflection of leadership we’ve received from the remnants of a patriarchal society we’re still holding on a feeble, yet sustained pedestal?
What is leadership, authentic leadership for women? What does it mean to lead in your own life, in an authentic, compelling manner? When I think of all the outer signs of career success and leadership, and the paradox it creates in so many women’s lives, pitting them against their own personal choices and sense of balance, I tend to ask: “But…is that leadership?” Or is it just about reaching an ideal that has not been set by women or for women?
Leadership as we know it, is not made for women. This is why so many leadership programs targeted at women, fail miserably. This is why as much as some companies are investing in women empowerment programs, they are not seeing expected returns. It is because the very foundation of leadership as we know it, is not adapted to working women and moms. This is what has been defined as the “second generation bias” largely explaining women’s under-representation in leadership roles, due to cultural assumptions and organizational structures reinforcing the lack of women role models, gendered work favoring and rewarding men, lack of network and sponsor access for women, and the mismatch between traditionally feminine qualities and leadership qualities.
In order to be a leader, you have to see yourself as a leader. In the absence of women leaders, and the absence or scarcity of leadership values that align with the reality of women’s lives and values, how can leadership as we know it be effective for and to women? How can women really lead, effectively and powerfully, in systems whose foundations were never made for them? Here are three ways that may help:
Revisit your beliefs about leadership
What are your personal beliefs about leadership? How have they been shaped in the course of your life? Do you even see yourself as a leader?
These are a few questions that started my own leadership journey, and may also help begin or continue yours. Oftentime as women in general, we may not see ourselves as leaders because we have not been exposed to leaders who look, think or act like us. Leadership is after all, very much a gendered and patriarchal concept, which has been modeled after men for the longest time. Only in recent years, have we begun seeing women leaders in various areas, from politics to business.
Similarly, the models of leadership we’ve grown up with have most often reflected the patriarchal society we live in. Despite the increasing presence of women leaders, and all the benefits associated with women in leadership position, this foundational model has not evolved much. This has in turn literally forced women to conform to a way of leadership often not in alignment with them, holding on to the belief that there is no other way to lead.
This is where revisiting your beliefs about leadership may help in changing how you view leadership, and start reframing leadership in a way that serves your values, purpose and principles.
Revisit the foundations of leadership in the organizations you’re a part of
In the same way, organizations, companies and businesses’ foundations of leadership have been modeled after patriarchal models. In most modern organizations, women are not seen as leaders, even when they hold a leadership position or title because men have been the leadership norm and default for so long. This is why so many leadership programs targeted at increasing the number of women leaders in organizations fail miserably. Leadership is deeper than just reaching a certain title or position, it’s about embodying the role of leader which requires seeing oneself and being seen as one.
This is where organizations must strive to identify , acknowledge and address what they define as leadership. In the process, they must seek to educate, empower, and steer their people toward a more diverse and inclusive concept of leadership.
Redefine your own brand of leadership as a working woman and mom
Because leadership has been modeled after men, and too many women have in one way or another adopted styles of leadership not aligned with their values or purpose, leadership has revolved around how it looks for too long. What if instead, each and every one of us started asking ourselves the question: “What is my own way of leading?”
Being an authentic leader means acting in alignment with one’s values and purpose. As a working woman and mother, it means leading myself, leading in my home as a mom and wife, and leading in the workplace in my capacity. To me, it means leading with compassion, with integrity, and openness.
What does it mean to you?
So all in all, can I really, truly and authentically lead as a woman?
As I write these words, the answer is: It depends. It depends on how I reframe and redefine leadership as a working woman and mom; but it also depends on the spaces in which I can fully lead, in integrity and authenticity. There is much work to be done on both sides, yet the prospect of a future where women can lead as themselves is worth it…
How many times have you heard women “need to be more confident at work”? How many times have you yourself, in your own career and life experience, been told that you needed to be more confident? And if you happen to be confident, how many times have you perceived or been told you were “tew much”? Talk about a confidence bias for women…
Women at work are encouraged to be more assertive, more goal-oriented, more driven at work, mostly according and in reference to patriarchal parameters initially set by and for their male counterparts. Yet, while they’re criticized for not having enough confidence, especially in workplace settings, they tend to get harshly judged when found to be displaying “too much” confidence. This in itself is the confidence bias that has plagued so many women in and outside of their careers…
Confidence bias is when career failure in women is associated with lack of self-confidence; yet when women demonstrate confidence, they are often perceived as overdoing it, and thus lacking confidence. This is how the very concept of confidence that women are criticized of lacking, is actually weaponized against them.
According to research by the Harvard Business Review, while women identify confidence as a major career obstacle, men do not. This not only confirms the highly gendered nature of confidence, but also exposes how damaging this concept can be to women themselves, who end up blaming themselves for or regretting events which where largely out of their control. Prior research also demonstrates a confidence gap, whereby women are shown to have lesser levels of self-assuredness than their male counterparts, thus lacking a trait that matters as much as competence at work. This gap can actually be traced to gender trait and role differences between men and women. While men are shown to naturally demonstrate traits commonly associated with confidence such as assertiveness, even aggressiveness; women tend to display more nurturing, compassionate and empathic characteristics, which are also reflected in the traditional societal roles assigned to both genders.
Despite this, the 2023 Women in the Workplace report reveals that women are actually more ambitious than ever, even as they continue to prioritize their personal lives. This is evidence that while the confidence bias is certainly real for many, if not most women, especially at work, it may not be as simple as it has been depicted to be. Why does confidence have to be defined in patriarchal and masculine terms and traits? Why can’t confidence also be defined in more feminine attributes such as collaboration, empathy, and intuition? While the latter are clearly leadership skills, and confidence is increasingly being classified as a “soft skill” (there is nothing “soft” about soft skills, by the way), they’re still not being associated with confidence for women.
This is why in my own experience as a Black woman at work, and an introvert to boot, I’ve had to learn to redefine the concept of confidence for myself. Emulating the masculine, and very much patriarchal model of confidence, based on overt assertiveness bordering on aggressiveness, has always felt inauthentic. Instead, developing my own brand of quiet confidence has always felt more like “me”. Granted, it did not work in the many environments where that brand of confidence was not valued (which unfortunately still constitute many, if not most work environments)…Yet, in the environments in which it has worked and been valued, the rewards, both personal and collective, have been astounding…
In some way, I have been waging my own quiet confidence war and revolution as a working woman and mom. So have many other working women and moms around… If this is something that resonates with you as well, here are a few tidbits from my own journey that you may find helpful:
Revisit your own confidence bias
Believe it or not, you hold your own confidence bias. We all do, and much of it has been embedded in our subconscious from the various messages, intentional or not, we’ve received from society. I know I’ve blamed myself for not being confident enough for the longest time, resolving myself to remain hidden in the background. For the longest time, I thought I was born that way, that confidence was a skill or attribute that I somehow had missed out on. This subconscious message was so deeply embedded in my mind that it became a personal belief I held on to for dear life.
Yet, what I learned from a complete career transition and a journey of personal and professional growth, is that not only is confidence a skill we possess as individuals; but that we can also develop our own brand of powerful and authentic confidence, especially in the workplace.
What are your assumptions and beliefs about confidence in general and about your own confidence?
Develop your own brand of confidence
What is your own brand of confidence? How do you most authentically feel self-assured in who you truly are? It took me decades to first recognize these questions as valid, and second find my own answers. I feel most confident when I am working in my purpose, writing, teaching, sharing and exchanging ideas. That’s what I would call my “zone of confidence.”
As a matter of fact, I’ve found confidence to be closely linked with authenticity of purpose and values. The more closely you are aligned with your purpose and values, the more confident you may tend to feel. Conversely, the further away you may be from your purposeful path, the harder it may be to muster an authentic sense of self-confidence. Not just the outer confidence we may feel compelled to put on display to respond to self-imposed or societally-imposed pressure; but rather the true sense of confidence that begins on the inside..
What is your zone of confidence? How and when do you feel your most confident? Are you able to find it in your current work? If not, it may be time to reconsider…
Embody what your own brand of authentic confidence is
Last but not least, embodying your own brand of confidence really means stepping into, and standing in your zone of confidence. This is the part that may require not just a mental shift, but also the power of repetition and practice to master.
For me, it’s a matter of cultivating the discipline to show up daily (or almost daily) in my zone of confidence, whether through writing, teaching, sharing or exchanging ideas. It’s the power of practicing imperfect action, day after day, and collecting the sometimes infinitesimally small rewards that add up to the work of our lifetimes.
Indeed, for the longest time, and to this day, society has largely defined confidence as a masculine and patriarchal concept, thereby creating a confidence bias that has been weaponized against women. Yet, what if this definition of confidence were nothing but a social construct that can be dismantled as well as it’s been built? What if confidence could be redefined, and reclaimed, for women in ways that truly align with their purpose and values? What a different and more evolved workplace and world we would see then….
What is your own working woman brand of confidence?
It’s the beginning of a new year, and you may be wondering which direction to take your career in in the next few months. As a matter of fact, this may very well be the question you ask yourself at the beginning of every year. As much as you may be excited (or not) at the prospect of a clean slate of time ahead of you, you may not be sure of the best way to strategize your career going forward. As a working woman and mom, you may not even have the time to devote to thinking about it as you juggle all the plates you have balancing in the air. Career strategy? How about a strategy to get through last week’s laundry?
The reality is, not having a career strategy in the long run, may leave you without a sense of purpose in your career, along with the feeling that you’re somehow stagnating professionally. In the worst case scenario, it may end up hurting your overall career prospects. This is even more significant as a working woman who may already be at a professional disadvantage as compared to your male counterparts as a result of the various gender-based biases experienced by women in the workplace, from the gender pay gap to the glass ceiling or concrete wall for women of color, to cite a few.
If you’re reading this and nodding along, you certainly are not alone. It took me decades to understand the importance of strategy as a crucial component of our careers, especially as working women and moms. I remember once when I was still in the corporate trenches, one of my mentors telling me: “It’s as if they put all the men in one room, and told them the rules of a game we were never told about.” By “we”, she meant professional women in general. Years later, I realized the rules of the game she was referring to, were really ways to strategize one’s career. Yet, I could not help wonder at the time: “How about the value of hard work? How about endlessly proving yourself by going above and beyond? Wasn’t that supposed to be the only career strategy?” Right? Wrong…
For many women like myself, hard work, endless dedication and unending service are often confused with an actual career strategy. Actually, it’s a mindset that has been tacitly imposed on women for the longest time, falsely rewarding us with the praise of self-sacrifice and devotion in and out of the workplace. So much so that working hard at work and working hard at home became the norm, until it wasn’t, that is…
With the advent of the work revolution during and after the COVID 19 pandemic, many women have been redefining the meaning of work in their lives and careers. From the “Great Breakup” to the “she-cession”, women have begun and continued abdicating the heavy crown of thorns that is underpaid, inequitable work and unpaid household labor, in favor of increased equity on the work and home fronts. Many women are choosing to start their own businesses as an alternative to underpaid careers riddled with gender bias and inequities. Others are opting for flexible schedules allowing them to strive in all their roles and capacities. Others yet again are stepping completely out of the career path, choosing to refocus on themselves and their families.
What this also means as women’s work is being reinvented, is that women’s career strategies also have to be reinvented accordingly. It’s no longer about emulating a masculine model of work, founded on a patriarchal system relying on women’s free labor and on the paradigm of trading time for elusive and unsustainable success. Nor is it about abandoning purposeful ambition in favor of choosing the safe harbor of inaction and passivity. Instead, it’s about aligning our career strategies with the priorities and values guiding us as women in and outside of the workplace.
Here are three steps that may help:
Outlining your priorities
Have you been operating on everyone else’s priorities and timetable but your own? I know I did too…Too often, it’s all about what’s urgent at work, what needs to get done on the home front, and everything else in between. As a result, it’s easy to have an entire career and life based off of priorities that are not yours.
What are your work priorities? What areas of your career are most important to you? What are your personal and collective priorities? How can these be aligned in a way so as to feed off of and serve each other?
As I started outlining my own career and personal priorities, I realized flexibility in my various roles as mother, partner, and professional, as well as being able to practice my writing and teaching craft, are at the top of my list. This has led me to orient myself toward a career that offers me a flexible environment, and encourages me to practice my craft.
Eliminate or delegate unpaid or invisible labor
One of the biggest obstacles to women’s careers is the “extra” fluff that gets in the way of the true, purposeful work. From excessive and unwarranted amounts of invisible and unpaid service work, to the unseen mental and household load, there are too many silent and frustrating obstacles in the path of women’s work.
Part of devising a successful career strategy as a working woman is addressing these obstacles. Reducing or streamlining the amount of service work is one way to do so, whether through less volunteering or bringing increased attention to the need to share the service load in the workplace. Having honest conversations followed by intentional action at home to help share the household labor and mental load can also go a long way. Underneath it all, ridding yourself of the guilt of not doing it all is also essential.
Applying the rule of 80/20
The rule of 80/20, also known as the Pareto rule, essentially dictates that 80% of our efforts produce 20% of our results. While this rule is most often used in business, it can be extended to any area of work or life. From a career perspective, it is a call to focus on the 20% of inputs that will produce the most, and best, results.
What are your most valuable skills that produce your best results at work? Are you most gifted at writing, public speaking, networking, research, analysis, or any other area? Can you capitalize on those skills to guide and direct you towards the areas and projects that you would be most successful at and prioritize those? Conversely, can you steer away from those areas and projects that do not use your best inputs and as a result do not produce your best outcomes?
Applying the rule of 80/20 in my career and life has been, and still is, much of a work in progress. While it’s been challenging to focus more on my most impactful skills and best outcomes, as opposed to desperately trying to do it all, it’s certainly paying off. One of the greatest side effects is the lessened amount of stress going into managing work and life. The greatest benefit yet is in being aligned with my purpose, and using what I have to do the work I’m supposed to do.
All in all, the right career strategy can be one of the most important tools for working women and moms to thrive in and outside of work. Devising a powerful strategy is about being aligned with one’s vision and values, setting the appropriate priorities, focusing on the best returns and reducing invisible and unaligned work. While it’s certainly not an easy feat, and very much a work in progress, it’s also one of the most profitable career and life investments.
How are you strategizing your career at the beginning of the year?
Picture this…It’s Monday morning, 7am, you’ve already dropped off the kids at the bus stop and sent them off to school, fitting in a quick 10 minute walk with the dog in the process, and thrown a load of laundry in the washer…By 8am, you’ve made your plan for the day, what with colorful highlighting and side notes on your favorite planner, and you’re ready for the first meeting of the day, polished Ann Taylor shirt on top, casual and oh so comfortable elastic pants on the bottom…The thought of not being stuck in morning traffic at least a couple of days a week and dealing with unavoidable work micro-aggressions is making you smile, as you mentally strategize for the week…
If you’re reading this, this may sound like the ideal work-from-home morning…Or if you’re fortunate enough, this may actually be what some, or most of your mornings feel like… The feeling of not having to choose between a well-integrated life that does not require an inordinate amount of running around, overwhelm and burnout….The sense of not having to give up on yourself, your values, your family for the sake of your work, or vice-versa…
For as long as I can remember, this drastic choice between a successful career and a well-integrated life that honors my values and myself as a woman, mother, wife, friend, sister, along with all the other hats we wear as women, has been there…It’s a difficult choice that ends up in a negative loss for all parties involved, mostly for women. Post COVID-19 pandemic, the newfound work flexibility and call to realignment to our values as individuals and women in particular has shaken the dust off of this old, cruel choice…Women are now understanding and claiming their right to own their ambition and lives without the threat of bias, guilt, or burnout…
Workforce trends from the “Great Resignation” , the Great Breakup” and “quiet quitting”, to the recent hype around “lazy girl jobs”, defined as flexible and well-paying jobs allowing for free time as an antidote to the burnout culture affecting many, especially women, have seen people, and women in particular, reevaluate their careers. Yet, despite this, women are far from being “lazy” in their careers. In fact, according to McKinsey&Company’s Women in the Workplace 2023 report, “women are more ambitious than ever, and workplace flexibility is fueling them”. The report reveals 81% of women expressing the desire to be promoted to a higher level, an 11% increase from 2019. A whopping 96% of women declared their careers hold an important place in their lives, in same numbers as their male counterparts. Even yet, 97% of women and men also admit to prioritizing their personal lives while still viewing their careers as important.
What this is suggesting is a new paradigm shift in the way women view their careers and lives. No longer is it a matter of making an excruciating choice between professional success and personal values and life, but rather a matter of re-shuffling the deck of cards to accommodate success in both areas. Thanks to the forced re-examination of our values and systems, as well as the flexibility card reinforced by the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic, among other factors, women are now redefining what success means to them. In fact, they are re-defining what success has always meant to them, but that they were not allowed to implement…
Yet, even in the midst of this re-defining movement, biases and stereotypes against women still persist. Among these, is the assumption that flexible work can be equated with “lazy work”, whereby employees taking advantage of this benefit are somewhat lacking motivation or are lesser performers. This bias also extends in the unequitable rewards and benefits men get from in-person attendance at the office, including interpersonal connections, access to select information, feedback, mentorship and general support. Meanwhile, women working in person at the office are rewarded with the debilitating impact of micro-aggressions as well as the “broken rung” syndrome whereby men benefit from higher level promotions at higher rates than women.
As a result, many, if not most women, are choosing to re-define where they stand in their careers and lives, somewhere between persisting ambition and lazy girl syndrome. Somewhere between aspiring to being all they can be professionally, and yet still prioritizing better work-life integration and keeping burnout, overwhelm and disease at bay…Somewhere where the choice is not between the better of two evils, but where evil is not a choice…
For this to be possible, it also means that companies, organizations, leaders and every single person out there, must get invested in the discussion and fight for:
Understanding and respecting women’s work and life values
Access to greater and fairer flexibility (that does not punish women)
Diversity, Equity and Inclusion programs and initiatives targeting micro-aggressions, as well as promotion and pay inequities
Are you somewhere between ambitious girl and lazy girl?
In this podcast, I discuss the impact of gender on the process of negotiation, and also on the outcomes! If you’ve struggled with negotiation as a working woman and mom, or just have been curious about it, this episode is for you! Some of the research cited in this episode include:
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