“Who am I professionally?” I remember asking myself this question the very first time I attended a networking event and had to answer the question: “So, what do you do?” I also remember asking myself this same question at every critical turn of my life and career, when the need to define or re-define a new professional as a working woman would become an urgent quest. More recently, the question has popped up in the midst of a global pandemic that has blurred the line between work and home, health and disease, and safety and the lack thereof.
This is a question you may have asked yourself throughout your career, or have been faced with through interactions with and inquiries from others. Most importantly, this is a call you may have had to answer at decisive moments in your life and work and as you grow and evolve closer to your purpose. As a working woman and/or a working mom, you may struggle with this continuously during the current pandemic we all find ourselves in.
As crucial as it is to develop our personal identities, defining our professional ones play a central role in our careers. Prior research defines professional identity as “one’s professional self-concept based on attributes, beliefs, values, motives and experiences” (H., 1999). The Institute for Advancement of the American Legal System defines one’s professional identity as “how to bring your personal values into your profession so that you don’t lose your sense of self.” However, research also shows that while professional roles can provide their holders with a sense of privilege and even prestige, stigmatized individuals such as working women during the COVID-19 pandemic, may not benefit from this privilege. This makes it crucial for working women to define new, more compelling professional identities in light of the unique times and challenges we’re currently facing.
Here are 3 steps to develop a new professional identity as a working woman during and after the pandemic:
Leverage your skills, not your weaknesses
Traditional professional identities may have had many, if not most of us, majoring in minors as we focused on our weaknesses more than we did ourskills. However, faced with the scarcity imposed by a global health crisis of epic proportions, it becomes more important than ever to gain time, efficiency and impact by focusing on our strengths.
Assess your skills: What are your strong areas? What do you excel at? What comes to you naturally? What skills have you acquired over time? Assessing your strengths is the first step towards re-building a professional identity that zooms in on what you’re good at, as opposed to your average skills or even your weak areas.
Package your skills: How can you package your skills into a product or service worth selling? Whether it is a product or service for your business, or a set of skills providing you with a competitive advantage as an employee, packaging what you are good at is at the center of your new, most effective professional identity.
Put yourself out there!
Gone are the days when working women were relegated to the back of the room, working in silence and utter oblivion. What these unique times have shown us, is that in times of challenges, women create change! From women heads of states who have successfully confronted the pandemic in their countries, to women rising up to make history in politics and various industries, we’ve seen progress happen through female leadership in times of crisis.
Let go of the fear to be excellent: Excellence can be scary for working women, who have long been discouraged to take the lead in their fields. A new, reinvented professional identity also involves coming out of the professional shadows to unapologetically show your excellence.
Build your tribe: Professional impact is not achieved alone. It takes a village to create impactful change, growth and progress. Part of working women’s re-invented professional identities entails the creation of positive, fruitful networks of excellence.
Re-imagine your lifestyle!
Live on purpose: Your professional identity is not an entity separate from your personal identity. Your life is a whole. As such, all its various parts are inter-dependent. As you operate in excellence at work, you also have to commit to living on purpose in all other areas of your life.
Use your time purposely: Time is your most precious commodity. As a working woman and mom, you know all too well how many demands weigh on your time. Hence why it is crucial to re-imagine a life and identity where time is used in an impactful way.
How will you re-invent your professional identity as a working woman?
I’m learning the power of letting go in order to grow in all areas of my life. Work is no exception, especially after experiencing a global health pandemic that taught so many of us to let go of most of what we believed we couldn’t live without. It took me a while to realize that many of the obstacles facing me in my career, actually had less to do with my abilities, than with the baggage I was unconsciously carrying.
So many of us, especially as working women and moms, carry way too much, most of which is not ours to carry and weighs us down along our path. Much of this consists in emotional and relational baggage we often fail to recognize and address for most of our careers. The less we fail to acknowledge this invisible weight holding us back, the more we tend to struggle in the dark, looking for the wrong answers everywhere. So we keep adding to our resume, network, or educational portfolio, instead of considering what we could let go of instead, such as:
1- False and outdated expectations of what and where we should be in our careers and lives
Have you ever read one of those articles entitled “30 things to accomplish in your career before you’re 30” or the likes? Have you ever found yourself feeling like you should be further along in your career, or that you have not accomplished enough? Does the thought of where you should be in your career keep you from getting ahead?
False and outdated expectations about ourselves and where we should be in our work and life can often keep us behind, literally freezing us in place out of disappointment. Until we let go of the expectation that our careers (and lives) should follow a certain timetable, we will miss out on opportunities to give them our all.
2- People and things that don’t support our growth and keep us back
Some people will never support you, and you will live. Some places, institutions and processes will fail you at every turn, and you will also live. Trying to change these is not only a waste of time, but a sure way to remain stuck in an unhealthy cycle of dependency.
3- Negative beliefs and self-talk that keep us stuck
Most of the obstacles standing in our way are literally in our heads. They’re made up of all the negative beliefs and self-talk that haunt us whenever we try to make progress. Identifying these and learning to let go of them is one of the biggest steps we can make towards career fulfillment.
4- Comparison and envy
If you’ve ever looked at someone else’s career with a twinge of envy, wondering why your career is not further along, you know how paralyzing and debilitating that can be. Comparison and envy truly are the thief of joy, at work and in all other areas of life. Every career is unique, and moves at its own pace. Give yours the benefit of the doubt, as well as the time and space to grow at the pace and in a way that reflects your unique purpose.
5- Fear of stepping out of your safe zone
Fear is one of the most potent career killers. It robs us of our self-confidence, creativity, and growth, forcing us continually into familiar, yet un-challenging territory. If you’ve noticed that you’ve been stagnating in your career, chances are fear is controlling your work and preventing you from taking the next step in your professional evolution.
6- The emotional baggage and trauma from past career failures, job losses/betrayals etc
Failure is a necessary teacher. Yet, too often, it also and unfortunately becomes a paralyzing companion, reminding us of our inadequacies and struggles, blocking us from advancing further in our work and purpose. For many working women, the ghosts of career failures past, job losses, betrayals, and other professional mishaps remain stinging reminders that they may just not be enough. Letting go of this negative emotional baggage is the beginning of a more fulfilling and purposeful career.
7– Career guilt
Career guilt is real, especially for working women and moms. Whether it manifests when pursuing different opportunities, challenging the status quo, or achieving success, it tends to rear its ugly head when you get closer to achieving to achieving a professional breakthrough. As such, many working women will choose the safety of societal acceptance over fulfilling their dreams, foregoing their life’s work so as not to be judged harshly or even worse, rejected.
In 2020, we all learned to survive in the face of a global health pandemic, an economic crisis and the unfortunate losses of so many of the advances accomplished in diversity and gender equity. Now in 2021, we learn to reinvent ourselves and strive, what with all the lessons, insights and feedback we keep receiving from this season of challenge and learning.
As working women and moms especially, we’ve experienced the brunt of this crisis, both at work and on the home front. Faced with the necessity of working remotely, the unfortunate loss of jobs, and the need to homeschool children and shoulder the majority of household responsibilities, we’ve had to find ways to reinvent the way we think about and do things. Our entire concept of what constitutes normalcy has been turned upside down, leaving us to re-create the foundation of our work and lives.
Whether we’re working from home or re-entering the workplace physically, or looking for a new job or career, this year is truly the year where we reinvent the way we work and live. As we make a plan for it, here are 3 steps to keep in mind:
Overhaul your mindset: In any plan, your mindset comes first. How you think, how you view yourself and the world affects everything you do. I’ve learnt you can have everything, but if your mindset is not up to par, you won’t be able to sustain or enjoy much.
Make a plan to have a mental and spiritual daily practice in place. It may be praying, meditating or just spending some time alone daily. For me, it’s prayer and having a few minutes to myself daily (even if I have to lock myself in the bathroom or spend a few extra minutes in the car J)
Establish a journaling habit. Remember how we talked on Day 1 about identifying your predominant beliefs and steering away from negative ones? Documenting my thought patterns and mindset has helped me continue to gain the clarity I need to identify the mind blocks standing in my way.
Plan to seek the help you need. It may be therapy, or identifying like-minded people around you.
Plan to adjust your lifestyle: Reinventing yourself is also reinventing your habits and the way you live. It doesn’t need to be drastic, but a little change every day goes a long way.
Prioritize the tasks aligned with your strengths. Remember the strengths assessment we did on Day 2? The tasks you do that are aligned with your strengths and bring you the most energy should have a place on your daily schedule, and ideally be prioritized if you can. I understand it may not be 100% possible at first, but starting to work on it starts opening doors of possibilities and attracting the right opportunities to you.
Create more time: Transformation requires time. Plan to create more time in your schedule by waking up earlier for instance. On Day 2, you identified some activities not aligned with your strengths, which can be HUGE time-stealers. By eliminating some of these, you can also create MORE time for yourself.
Plan to reconsider your network: Who you attach yourself to will help or hinder your reinvention process. Take a look at your contacts: are the last 5 people you called or texted aligned with your new, ideal vision of your life and desires you described on Day 3? If not, you may need to re-work your network.
Recharge your career: The work you do is not separate from your life, contrary to public opinion. Work should be meaningful, fulfilling and purposeful, for it to have a positive and healthy impact on you.
Take a look at the careers aligned with your desires and strengths you may have listed on Day 3. Which ones can you plan to transition to?
If transitioning to a new career is not on your radar, which activities that are part of your current job can you prioritize or steer towards?
Make networking a priority: Prioritize meeting new people who are more aligned with your new vision of the career.
Are you creating your Career Reinvention Plan in 2021?
If you have ever wondered what you can do in your career to pave the way for other women, aside from being there as a working woman yourself, you are not alone. As working women, many, if not most of us, are keenly aware of the challenges we face in the workplace, from lack of gender equity to the glass ceiling and pay gap. As we strive to overcome these challenges and ascend to higher levels, we also aspire to give back by sharing what we’ve learnt along the way and hold the door open for our fellow working women coming alongside and behind us.
Yet, the question often arises as to how exactly, other than through our own examples, we can open doors for other women at work.
We all have different ways of working and relating to others. As such, we may serve our fellow working women in different ways, none better than the other, all effective at unlocking the gates of success for all. In my own career, I’ve had the privilege of benefiting from the experience, wisdom and extraordinary compassion of other women who have shepherded me along my path, each in their own way. I have learnt from them that there are many ways of paying it forward to other women, and turning open the hard locks sealing closed so many of the career doors standing in their way.
Here are 7 ways to open doors for other women at work:
Invite other women into your network
Do you see a woman around you who has great potential? Does one of the women in your department, company, or institution do exceptional work? There may be an opportunity for you to get to know her better, and possibly tell your friends about her, share her story, and help her obtain bigger and better opportunities.
Serve as a mentor
Mentoring is one of the most powerful ways to overcome gender inequity, especially for women who are still ascending to the top of their careers. These are the women who desperately need to learn from other women who have been there before them, and have successfully passed the same or similar tests they are facing. Mentoring these women can not only take them to the next level, but also reveal new and overlooked talent.
Champion other mentors by being a sponsor
While a mentor can come from a different company or industry, a sponsor tends to be more internal and act more proactively to endorse and provide opportunities for an individual. Sponsoring other women is particularly powerful as it allows for increased opportunities for females as well as more female leadership.
Create a community
Too often, women do not feel welcome in their organizations, and/or at higher levels of influence. Opening spheres of influence, and formerly closed doors to female leadership, has the potential of fostering stronger communities of belonging. By doing this, diversity and inclusion can become larger than inanimate policies and procedures, but real human communities.
Be a change agent
So often, as working women, we may experience a sense of guilt as we work on our own careers. We may feel that our efforts are too focused on us, and are not contributing to elevating other women. However, every time we reach a milestone, every time we sit at the table, enter the room or voice our opinion, we’re registering yet another win for other women. Just by being in the room, we are change agents, thus creating the opportunity for others to do the same and even better.
Share your story
Women’s stories are powerful. They are the fabric of our society, the rhythm of our communities and the voices of our people. However, too often, they get muted and silenced by fear, conformism, and lack of focus.
Sharing our stories as working women is yet another way of hurling the door of opportunity open for so many women, eagerly waiting to see their own stories validated, believed and reinforced.
Believe women
Last but not least, listen to the women around you. Believe their stories and testimonies, and allow them to have a voice where they may not have been authorized to do so before. This may mean welcoming another woman to the table, advocating for another woman, or sharing another woman’s business or resources.
How will you be opening doors for other women at work?
In my lifetime, as an immigrant, I have had the opportunity to witness the first American Black president Barack Obama, and now the first woman of color Vice-President. Yet, even more importantly, I’ve had the opportunity to witness my own children witnessing these historical achievements. It’s the opportunity to see them not only take in what is happening, but never have to doubt again that seeing a Black president, or a woman vice-president, can exist.
The wall of firsts has effectively been shattered, and with it the door of opportunity open for generations coming behind. Such is the power, yet also the burden, of being the first.
The first to break barriers.
The first to enter the room.
The first to create change.
The first to open the door of Change…
Today, Kamala Harris is the first to walk through the doors of the White House as the first one to be called “Madam Vice-President”. What she’s also doing is demonstrating the power of being the first, and making the seemingly impossible possible. What she’s doing is planting the seed of Possibility in the hearts of women and little girls everywhere, and dispelling the myth and fear attached with being the first.
Many of us are called to be firsts, in an official sense. However, all of us have the ability to open doors for other women coming alongside or behind us, in our own unique way. It may be in our unique way of handling an issue, in our innovative manner of tackling a problem, in the diversity of thought and creativity we bring to the table, in just being authentically ourselves.
What Kamala Harris, and all the other women whose shoulders she stands on, really did, doesn’t solely consist in showing us what is possible and opening the door for the rest of us. Most importantly, it’s normalizing for all of us the ability to open doors for any woman coming alongside or behind us, in our own capacity, position and ability.
Have you ever found yourself self-sabotaging, whether consciously or unconsciously? Whether it’s by procrastinating, delaying the inevitable, or betraying ourselves by accepting what we don’t want, we, as working women, can unfortunately contribute to self-sabotage.
It wasn’t until I started looking into some of my worst habits that I started asking myself about my own self-sabotaging tendencies. These would usually manifest before an important event or deadline.
Here are 10 ways that self-sabotage can manifest itself for working women:
You’re not thinking big enough
How often do you use the word “little” do you describe characteristics about yourself or your achievements? You may not be thinking big enough, keeping yourself and your accomplishments small, so as not to make yourself or others uncomfortable.
You worry too much
Do you anticipate all the possible negative scenarios in a situation before they’ve even happened? Are you already imagining all the issues that may come with a particular project or endeavor? Worrying too much may also be a way of sabotaging ourselves and our work.
You misunderstand yourself
Do you really know what your true strengths and limitations are? Or do you tend to assess your strengths in a limited manner, and not to have a clear picture of the areas where you could stand to improve? Having the wrong idea about yourself can literally rob you of a clear perception of your abilities and weaknesses, and drive you to sabotage yourself as well.
You don’t set appropriate boundaries
How many times have you said “yes” when you truly meant “no”? How often do you find yourself in inconvenient, unnerving situations you don’t deserve and are not beneficial to you because you failed to set proper boundaries. As women with strong nurturing instincts and communal tendencies, setting appropriate boundaries can be challenging. Yet with enough practice and self-work, it can become a positive habit over time.
You don’t assert yourself
What do you really want? What are your true desires, at work and in life? Do you dare to speak these out loud and assert yourself, or are you used to shrinking and making yourself small not to rock the boat? Not asserting ourselves as working women, is also a subtle way of casting a sabotaging shadow on our careers and lives. To change this, it takes to assess what we really desire first, and work at honoring ourselves by authentically expressing these and striving towards them unapologetically.
You’re too busy
Is your to-do list too long to even begin with? Do you fill up every minute of your time with something to do? Are you questioning how busy you are, and how productive your schedule really is?
If so, chances are, you’re crowding your time with too many activities in a subconscious attempt at not focusing on what truly matters. So many of us, as working women and moms, are incredibly busy. Yet, we find ourselves depleted and unfulfilled, precisely because busyness has become yet another way of sabotaging ourselves.
You don’t communicate your needs
Are you in charge of all the aspects of your household, your work and your relationships? Do you sometimes wonder why others are not helping you? Do you hesitate to ask for help? If so, you may be stopping yourself from communicating your needs in an authentic and effective manner. Repressing your needs is also another self-sabotage mechanism, that drives you to take on too much, grow resentful and miss out on being the person you’re truly meant to be and focusing on what matters most.
You isolate yourself
How much of a supportive network do you have? Do you find yourself alone and isolated as you push others away? Do you decline offers of help or invitations to network or build relationships? If so, you may be sticking yourself in a corner, out of fear of letting others in to help, assist or support you. This may keep you from striving effectively towards your goals, sabotaging your efforts in the process.
You procrastinate
Procrastinate much? If you find yourself putting off tasks until the last minute, delaying important projects, or being easily distracted, you may use procrastination as an unconscious, or conscious excuse not to accomplish your objectives.
You don’t pay it forward
Do you usually empower other women? Or do you fall victim of self-inflicted jealousy wounds when other women around you win? Do you often compete instead of collaborating with other women? These may be signs that you may be hoarding your own resources, and fiercely refusing to share the support, motivation and empowerment you may receive or need. Whatever you don’t give out of, you end up running out of yourself. This is also self-sabotage. So pay it forward…
What signs above are you witnessing in your career and work?
Have you ever put off an important task until the last minute without understanding why you were even procrastinating this much? Have you been struggling with getting much done, especially when working from home? Are you quick to give in to the temptation to be distracted rather than accomplishing a task?
I know, I’ve been, and sometimes still are, there…And so are countless women, who have been proven to be genetically more prone to procrastination, according to this 2014 study. Apparently, the female sex estrogen appears to play a role in the inter-dependency between gender, more specifically the female gender, and procrastination. In addition, working women and moms tend to wear so many hats, both on the office and the home front, that procrastinating may be a result of the resulting stress. This is all the more prevalent as stress has been directly linked to procrastinating habits. An additional study on the relationship between motivation, fear and procrastination among working women found that decreases in motivation, result in increases in working women’s fear of failure and procrastination.
Other reasons explaining procrastination include lack of self-compassion, trouble with negative moods, or avoiding the task at hand, to cite a few. For women, it may also have to do with self-doubt, and the mental pull to under-achieve as a way to be more accepted socially. What procrastination is not necessarily, is a reflection of poor time management,which it tends to usually be blamed for.
I’ve dealt with procrastination long enough to know all about the temporary sense of relief it brings at first, which is quickly replaced by disappointment and anxiety. As a matter of fact, people who tend to delay tasks until the last minute have also been shown to suffer from more acute levels of depression, anxiety and stress, according to this 2016 study. I used to beat myself up for putting off often smaller tasks for later, and then stressing out in the wee hours of the day before a deadline. Yet, what history and research show is that procrastinators are not necessarily lazy people. Actually, some of the greatest of this world, from Jane Austen to one of my favorites, Nancy Pelosi, are self-proclaimed procrastinators, as revealed in the book “The Art of Procrastination: A Guide to Effective Dawdling, Lollygagging and Postponing” by John Perry.
So now that we know that procrastination can come from so many different sources, and we can relax that it’s not a sign of laziness, what can we do about it, especially as over-burdened, often over-taxed working women?
Work on building your confidence up
Most of the working women I know who are struggling with procrastination also struggle with self-doubt, despite being some of the most competent and extraordinarily gifted women I know. Building your confidence up will help you have the courage to tackle seemingly unattanable or intimidating tasks.
Start with the hard stuff…
When faced with the hard and easy, start with the hard stuff. Getting done with a challenging task at the onset will give you the confidence and stamina to keep plowing through your to-do list.
But begin with the simplest part
Yet even when you begin the hard stuff, pick the easiest part of it. Maybe it’s answering related emails quickly, or formatting a document before digging into the specifics of the assignment. Whatever it is, allow yourself some time to work yourself up to the task.
Get some accountability
Nothing like being accountable to a few trusted individuals…Share your goals with your team, or well-selected friends or colleagues who can hold you accountable and can stay on top of you to meet your deadline or complete planned milestones.
Skip multi-tasking
Multi-tasking is the anti-thesis to productivity, and certainly a pretty potent ally to procrastination. The more you try to handle all at once, the more overwhelmed you may get, and the more you may be tempted to procrastinate.
Let it be imperfect
Perfectionist alert! As a recovering perfectionist, I know all too well about the agony of wanting to get a task completed to perfection. The more you strive towards perfection, the longer you may want to delay submitting or completing it, for fear you may miss something. Let it go, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done!
Use the power of reward
Last but not least, don’t forget to give yourself something to look forward to as a reward for beating your own procrastination. Whether it’s a special treat, some relaxation time, or just acknowledging that you made it, don’t forget to celebrate!
How do you beat procrastination as a working woman?
