What to do to avoid throwing a sharp object at your boss – npr.org
Happy Monday! Yes, it’s Monday, again…You have your performance review with your boss, and things are not going as smoothly as you thought. Or you get your monthly report back from the VP with barely one white space so many comments are splattered across the pages. And the truth is, you are mad! And the longer you’re in the hot seat across from your manager, the madder you are getting…And frankly, when asked what you “honestly” think of the impromptu feedback, you’d have one or two choice words to say to your dear manager, lest you are intent on finding another equivalent or better source of income… And oh are you thankful the brain is a closed organ, so there is no chance your dear boss would ever know what you are actually thinking as you’re looking at the sharp objects around the desk…
So what is one to do to avoid blowing up during a meeting with your superior? Or even not to allow your emotions to show and possibly flare up during a “tough” conversation at work? While emotional reactions are often attributed to women at work, opinions vary between those who think it’s OK to actually let loose and express our emotions, and those who would conclude that after all, it just is not worth it… In any case, we simply can’t deny that emotions do come up at work more often than not, and that more often than not, it’s really hard to contain them. So even if you would never admit it in public, here are a few suggestions to avoid throwing a sharp object at your boss:
- Buy yourself some time! Whether it’s a pause and deep breath, a short bathroom break, or allowing yourself to take a quick walk outside, buy yourself some time to calm down! Even if at first it may seem awkward, you will be thankful you took that extra 30 seconds to pinch your right thigh before responding to your co-worker or manager’s nasty comment. Trying too hard to contain your emotions may simply result in a disaster, so take the time you need to address the conversation intelligently and calmly!
- Talk to yourself! Not out loud, unless you really want to convince your manager you really need that vacation you’ve been asking for! The art of self-talk is not only freeing, but also healing in work environments where the pressure is high! Whether it’s by using a positive affirmation or by simply counting in your head to 100, put some pep in your mental dialogue so as to overcome emotional blocks more effectively.
- Now bring it on! Remember that an effective answer to a nasty comment, probing question or tough conversation is one based on logic, clarity and honesty. Do not just agree to an unfounded comment or observation on your work without professionally questioning it first. Ask for specific examples or instances in your work where the results were not up to par. Request specific guidance on what you could have done to make it better. Defend your product, sources and conclusions as logically as you can, while not being overly argumentative. In other words, don’t just sit there and take it, just because your emotions are threatening to flare up. This is your work, your job, your career, own it!
What tips and tricks do you use during tough conversations at work? How do you mentally prep yourself to address possibly emotional situations in the workplace? Please chime in….
The Corporate Sis.
